I'm here with some more super-super-late QTR reviews! And I'm so glad I've read this, because it was just so wonderful!
All your descriptions were just so pulling, it put me in the scene so much more than most descriptions. The emotion was very vivid and real, and you managed to get depth and all the layers of confusion, worry, etc and keep attention perfectly! Nothing was too long or short, and it just put me into the scene and gave us access to Remus' feeling so well.
You portrayed Remus and Sirirus SO WELL, too! Often, when people write them as a pairing, they become terribly OOC - but this felt much more like it was adding to canon, simply recounting a missing moment instead of coming up with a whole new story to them; it felt so effortless, and I barely noticed that I was reading it, which is really rare! It's often painfully obvious when lines have been rewritten and edited, but everything was just so smooth.
Everything you wrote was so realistic, too - no glossing over what boys are like, and it made all the emotions so much more raw and real because the backdrop was so much uglier. Remus' disinterest in playboy-esque magazines and how he realised what he was noticing revealed the same truth to the readers as it did to Remus, and it put us in there with his struggles perfectly.
I also liked how you contrasted Remus' dreams with his reality, because it added more to his desire and hopes, and made it seem all the more bittersweet. It put us a lot more in tune with Remus, too, because he was still new to the scene even though he'd been sort-of planning it for so long. It gave a more special quality to it, and I really liked that.
I'll admit that I was a bit confused about Severus' sudden appearance at first! But that ended up adding to the overall effect of Remus' shattered dreams, the cold water over everything that left him stunned, because it all became painfully clear by the end. It was a horrible but clever plot twist, and I'm glad in a way that the after-effects of the prank weren't felt; we're left to imagine the pain, and it's more effective that duplicating his previous feelings with more layers.
This was just so brilliant! I do hope you write more Sirius/Remus because I enjoyed this a lot :)
~TGK Report Review
AND YOU END IT THERE?!?! WHY?!?! Report Review
AHH Okay. Well, as I was reading the part where Sirius was reading the diary I was dying of embarrassment for Remus. Yeah, I get too involved in stories. And the thing with Snape also makes me incredibly embarrassed for Remus, because what'll he say to Sirius later? Anyway, please update soon! I have to know what happens, and Sirius must not be dumb >:O Report Review
I'm one of the five people from QTR who's reviewing cos you got all the riddles right! -congrats :)
First off, this is such a brilliant fic. You make my job so easy and enjoyable!
This is the first time I've ever read slash, so I'm not sure what I was expecting, but you've definitely set a standard if I read more! I absolutely loved this! I love the plot you had here, the whole introduction, the journal, the kissing, and then the unexpected Snape bit. At first I was wondering how you would make this realistic, but you did a fantastic job at this with your whole Snape situation!
May I also say that your writing is brilliant? I liked how you kept mentioning them by different words, not just by their names, with 'the werewolf', 'cocky pureblood', 'sixth year'... It made it interesting! Your dialogue was awesome, it flowed along with the story... Generally I love your style of writing, I think I shall have to read some more!
At first I thought this was a one shot, until I saw your Author's Note at the bottom of the fic! I think this works brilliantly as a one shot, but now I'm intrigued to see the consequences and aftermath of this kiss and the photo! I'm wondering if you're going to approach the question of why Snape has a camera?
Well, basically, my first slash was definitely intriguing and interesting! I love how you set the situation up so the slash was realistic. I thought your writing was brilliant, and I'm definitely going to wait for your second chapter, so I hope you're not one of those authors who take months before they add in new chapters! Loved this fic! Report Review
Okay...so after about ten minutes of staring at the screen with a shocked expression, I can review. I can't breath, but I can type. Where to start? Okay, so I came to your page because your challenge got me thinking you'd have slash, and you do, and I almost squealed at seeing a Remus/Sirius (okay, I did squeal and MSNed a friend).
So the set up was genius. It was drawn out enough to be detailed (which I love) but not so long that it lost my interest. Your description of Remus' feelings and doubts was spot on to real. I love that he takes focus. I loved everything right up until Snape appeared. Cuz like, I hate Snape, so much! Everything about Snape makes me wanna cry/gag and you brought him in to ruin such a wonderful Remus/Sirius moment. *tear flick*
So, naturally this gets a favorite mark and I'll be following it. I gotta know what happens!! One thing I wanted to point out, you typed "The Sirius" once. Let me show you.
=The Sirius did not look convinced, and even worse took the golden moment to investigate himself.=
Just thought I'd tell ya. :D Anyways, wonderful chapter and I eagerly await the next. :D --JennaAuthor's Response: Aww, thanks for the review! This actually was not supposed to turn out anything like it did, but my brain, the eternal angst administrator, went, hey! Let's torture Remus because it's fun! So I did xD I'll try to get the next chapter up and written some time within the next week or so :)
Ohh *facepalm* Thanks! Too many 'the boy', 'the Gryffindor', 'the animagus' things running around my head :P
-- Jess Report Review
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