Reading Reviews for It's Only Love
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by soliloquy He loves me, he loves me not

1st August 2011:
oh my goodness, i had to wait a few minutes to collect my thoughts. :)

...

i don't even know where to start. i adore the use of second person. it gives just enough insight into what's going on. just, you write so well. and i was so sucked into the story. it's like i was a random ghost lurking in their house, watching these scenes unfold...if that makes sense.

i didn't really find any weak bits, and i wish we could understand cormac more, but that's the point of the second person, right? we only know as much as lavender and clearly, she doens't know much about what he's thinking of at certain points (or she does, because she loves him so much...)

...i don't know what i'm babbling about anymore. xP all i nkow is that this is lovely. and the last line is just, so, so, sooo beautiful.

"diamonds were forever, even if you and he might not be." i think that's just...one of my favorite lines.

and my favorite scene is definitely when he comes back, because it's just very unlike him, you know? and what he says, it's true, it's not what she wants to hear but for cormac...that's pretty much all you're going to get xp and i'm proud of him for going back. because it means you're putting your pride aside for your love.

and we all know that cormac + pride = soulmates.

well-written. i loved it. good job :) ♥

Author's Response: Aww thank you!! I love love love second person and I'm glad you liked it here (though now it's got to the point where I just want to write everything in second person and actually have to tell myself "no, you're doing this in third!") Haha I like the idea of you being a ghost in the house... it sounds a bit stalkerish, but never mind xD

I'm REALLY glad you liked the last line - I struggle so much with those! Ending a story can just be so difficult.

I'm rather happy as well that you're being positive about Cormac/Lavender's prospects - a lot of other reviewers have said they're glad the pair of them got together but they're sure it won't last (which is probably true) so it's nice to see some optimism (I'd like them to have a happily ever after, though if I'm honest they probably don't have a future.) Because yes, it would have taken a lot for Cormac to go back to her, but he did, so he can't be all bad.

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :)



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Review #2, by Toujours Padfoot He loves me, he loves me not

28th July 2011:
This was such a lovely story. I think it's such a real thing, two people with a semi-dysfunctional relationship, neither one of them truly satisfied and neither one of them willing to trade up for the unknown. It's so sad that they're going to get married even when they are so wrong for each other.

I love your descriptions here, and the tense you used. The military-like rows of plain, colorless bushes said a lot about Cormac's character, and he could be someone who really exists - the drinking, the OCD, the lack of emotion. He takes little initiative to make Lavender happy because he simply doesn't think in that way. There are no romantic bones in his body. Lavender would be so much happier without him. :(

I love how you worded things, too - my favorite part was about the teardrop diamond earrings that "wept" in the light, and then the shadows rippling over the diamonds in the engagement tree. I loved the rosebush and the apple tree, and Tess. And I loved the emotion and reality of this story, where two people are willing to be half-happy together because they can't risk trying anew after all the time invested. They're used to each other. The relationship is safe, even though it's not what is best for either of them.

Fantastic one-shot. 10/10

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! While I do love reading (and writing) about happy relationships in fanfiction, that certainly isn't always the case in real life, so I felt I should have a go at something a little less cheery x) I'm very glad you liked it!

Thankfully I don't know anyone particularly like Cormac, but did try to make him a realistic, flawed character, so I'm glad you found him that way. She definitely would be happier without him, poor thing - it's not that he wants her to be unhappy, it's just that they're very different people with very different outlooks on life.

Aww, I'm glad you liked that bit (I rather do too). I'm not quite sure where most of this story came from, now I come to think about it, as I know nothing about gardens and I'm not really a cat person, but oh well! Yeah, I think that's probably the saddest thing about this - they aren't completely miserable with each other and so they'll stick it out because they don't want to face the idea of change, but they will never be completely happy either :(

Thanks for all your lovely comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!


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Review #3, by peppersweet He loves me, he loves me not

28th July 2011:
Cormac. Lavender. Two characters I hate with a passion. He's a smarmy git, and she's...er, lavlav. It's a testament to your writing ability that, whilst reading this, the character still read like Lavender, but she was easy to sympathise with, likeable, even loveable. And Cormac? Oh, gosh. Don't do it, Lavender! He's awful, but not enough for her to fully realise it and hate him. And I kind of resent that. I want this Lavender to have a happy ending, I really do, and the ending is so bittersweet. I felt so sort of annoyed at Cormac and sorry for Lavender at the same time, and I was listening to the smiths and waiting for the rain the lunchtime news had promised to break and...oh, it all made me a little emotional. There's so much to relate to in this fic - love-that-isn't-really-love, boys who are probably bad for you but you stick to them anyway, etc, etc. My word, you write so well. And the second person - made it so relateable. And I'm going to stop rambling on before I end up typing out a big, messy diatribe about life generally.

This bit, oh my, this bit -
"See," you said, "it looks pretty already."
He said, "You'll have to remember to water it."

Summed up their characters and their relationship completely, I thought. And this - The two of you had been so different, sometimes, so different it scared you. And finally - Diamonds were forever, even if you and he might not be. I could go on quoting your own story back to you forever, but that would just defeat the point of the review. I just thought that those three passages in particular really summed up Lavender and Cormac.

This was beautiful and bittersweet, and I loved it. Nicely done ♥

Author's Response: Oh don't worry, I hate them too - well, except for the fact that Lavender gave us the fabulous "Won Won", which has me in stiches every time. Having written this, though, I have come round to Lavender a lot more - I don't like her, per se, but I do feel really rather sorry for her :( I'm glad you liked her too - reading something about two completely objectionable characters can be pretty hard going xP

Aww I would've liked Lavender to have a happy ending too, but with Cormac? No way. And she loves him too much to leave him, even though she knows that they really aren't right for each other. Glad you like the second person - I'd forgotten how much I love it, both for reading and writing, but thankfully I've rediscovered it now ;)

I found their relationship quite hard to write, actually - it's not a love-hate thing, and it's not opposites-attract either, it's sort of something of its own. They're unhappy, but they don't have to be. They're very different, but they could make it work if they tried. So I'm glad you thought I conveyed it all properly, and that you liked those lines :)

Thanks so much for this! Gahh I love reviews like this, which just say everything I want to hear xD I'm really glad you enjoyed it!



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Review #4, by TallestTower He loves me, he loves me not

28th July 2011:
Wow! This was breathtaking - an incredible piece of writing.
I fell in love with the style. The second person made me feel close to Lavender's character. You characterized her so beautifully. She's a little girly, sweet, normal (the christmas scene with her family was a beautiful bit of characterization I think, just the thought of her with a family like anyone elses, it gave her a lot of depth and I felt closer to her) - but that sense of normality of her character is what made this so unique. It really celebrated the intricacies of a person.

Her thoughts stumbled from everyday to memorable poetic phrases - that was so lovely. Ah there is so many favourite parts I could quote!

I loved this dialogue:

“See,” you said, “it looks pretty already.”
He said, “You’ll have to remember to water it.”

♥ ♥ ♥
Especially as it was near the beginning at it just said /so/ much about the characters.

"He always said it back and you always longed to hear it, but deep down you knew that he had never said it first."

That was just haunting. I really think their relationship is one of the best I've read on HPFF. It's flawed but not in an ovbiously angsty way - it's subtle. You get the impression neither of them are particularly happy with each other, yet that they wouldn't do with anyone else. I feel almost like Lavender is settling - but not quite, it's like she doesn't have much self esteem and she wants so much to be loved by Cormac and she's created this dream of him and her that she believes in. And Cormac, he's not a natural romantic and perhaps he doesn't even love her, but he appreciates her in his own way. The ending was perfect for that.

I already mentioned how much I loved the family christmas scene! &heart; That was beautiful, showing how the relationship didn't just affect Lavender and Cormac. The part with her grandad where he says she gets prettier each day &heart; The way it was told, ah, it was perfect!

And I think my favourite line was probably this:

“We should at least have some lavender,” you’d said to him once, but he hadn’t seemed to think that was funny.

Oh gosh, this is so incredibly written. The style works beautiful and the characters are so /interesting/. I'm enjoying just thinking them over in this review haha :)

I liked this so very much! &heart; Strikingly realistic and has a beautiful subtlety to it.

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Review #5, by HarrietHopkirk He loves me, he loves me not

28th July 2011:
Hey redherring! You leave such lovely reviews so I thought I'd return the favour and come take a look at your stories!

Eee! A second person fic! I love these. They make the reader feel more involved, like the characters are talking to you...

Well, Cormac/Lavender? Now there's a pairing you don't see everyday! I like, I like. ♥ I can imagine them being quite compatible... both scorned by Hermione and Ron respectively, both have the most negative aspects of the stereotypic Gryffindor characteristics - arrogance, aggressiveness and self-righteousness. Their interactions within the story are beautifully crafted - I like how Lavender comes off as shallow, whereas Cormac is still a git. Your characterisations of them are just perfect. It's weird, for such an arrogant person, I did sympathise with him about his leg and being rejected again from his Quidditch team.

I like how you use the garden as a metaphor for the deterioration of their relationship and his career. Roses are always associated with romance and love, but it's so ironic that he doesn't like it and she does. Lavender was totally obsessed and engaged in her relationship with Ron, and it could be the same with Cormac. She is probably still a little bitter than she could have been with Ron - one of the saviours of the Wizarding World - instead of some guy who has been rejected from the Kestrels.

:O! The ending! How angsty and beautiful and poetic. I can't believe he came back and -proposed- and everything!

Your writing style is really very good! I love this one-shot! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! Aww thanks, very sweet of you :)

Yay, another second person fan! I've recently rediscovered my love for it and now I don't seem to be able to write anything else... but oh well. Glad you like Cormac/Lavender! I really think they're the kind of people who would go for each other, but they're definitely not going to have a happy ending together. Glad you approve of the characterisations too - they're both sort of halfway characters, not main enough so that we know everything about them, but not minor enough for us to have complete freedom to write them how we like.

I definitely think Lavender is a real romantic, and the kind of person to completely throw herself into a relationship (as she showed with Ron), and Cormac completely... isn't. Poor Lav :( Yay, glad you liked the ending - I struggled a bit over that, as I couldn't decide whether to give them a happy ending or not. This is somewhere in between, I suppose - they're happy for the moment, but it seems unlikely they will be a few months down the line.

Thanks so much for your lovely comments! I'm really glad you liked it :)


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Review #6, by justonemorefic He loves me, he loves me not

28th July 2011:
HOMGGG THAT WAS SO GOOD. I adore stories written in this way. Showing short moments and drawing you in with the characters. Even though I feel like I would hate Lavender if I met her, I actually really quite like her in this. As a character, you write her brilliantly of course, but even in a relatable way. I don't think I'm anything like Lavender, but there's a lot in her conflicts I think applies to so many fears and conflicts in a relationship.

And I'm even okay with Cormac. He kind of reminds me of the boy in Flipped (which I recently saw). Their relationship is clearly imperfect, and maybe even unwise, but I think that makes me all the more invested in it. If it lasts or if it doesn't, I don't think I would mind, but I do like it the way it is. It's clear that if they go on together or not together, they would both be okay, and that's what really makes it satisfying

Lovely! ♥

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm quite a fan of stories written in lots of snappy little sections as well, so I'm glad you liked that. Yup, Lavender would just be awful and annoying if you met her in real life (and Cormac definitely would) but I do sort of like her in this,mainly because she's a little bit pathetic and I feel sorry for her, I suppose. I'm glad you found her relatable, actually - I tried to make her quite 'ordinary', if that makes sense.

Ohh I haven't seen that but a friend was telling me just the other day that I should - I may have to now! Haha well imperfections are much more interesting than perfection I suppose...

Thanks so much for this luuurvely review! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :)


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Review #7, by Celestie He loves me, he loves me not

28th July 2011:
I find it beyond sad that I've never reviewed this story, considering how long ago I read it and how much I loved it. I don't know if I've ever reviewed you either, which is even more sad because you've been kind enough to review me and you're such a talented writer!

This story is lovely. Everything about it makes it such a wonderful read. I love the title - "It's Only Love"; it summarizes the concept of your story so perfectly. Your Lavender is kind of girly and whimsical, but with this afterthought of realistic melancholy to her. This is a stunning read.

I absolutely loved that her and Cormac weren't a stereotypically in love couple. He left, he came back, and their relationship still isn't perfect and that's clear. She seems to have recognized that she loves him, while still noticing that they aren't completely compatible.

My favorite line in this story was probably: "The leaves were nice, you thought, emerald green and glowing, and there was beauty even without a flower." It was just so gorgeous, along with the whole minimalist style. And the ending line was just completely flawless. It just wrapped up the idea of transient love so beautifully.

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Review #8, by ericajen He loves me, he loves me not

28th July 2011:
This was so lovely! The way the language flowed was beautiful and I absolutely adored the use of second person. I was pretty much drooling over how much I liked this while I was reading it.

I loved the way you wrote their relationship. You stayed away from the big chunks of background information and all the details that are unnecessary. I liked that you let the reader see how the relationship was rather than tell them; that's such a difficult thing to do. But even though it was never said, it was easy to see the difficulties in their relationship and how they struggled to get things right.

I thought Lavender's sense of the world was so, I don't know, innocent? Or at least in the sense that she had that desire for the perfect happy ending, but she was also very mature in how she sort of knew that her and Cormac may not be 'forever'.

Anyway, I thought this was really great and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Great work! :)

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Review #9, by Chaos Walking. He loves me, he loves me not

26th June 2011:
I am currently *trying* to enjoy what I think is definitely one of the hottest days ever in London but it isn't working out very well seeing as I am very hot and sweaty and irritable. So I'm sorry in advance if I come across as annoyed/rude in any way.

So, I've read this like three times and I still can't get over the fact that your wrote about Lavender. And Cormac. As in Lavender Brown and Cormac McLaggen. Together. First time I read this I had to pause and get over the shock before carrying on the story. But I do suppose, in a weird way, that I can imagine them ending up together.

Before commenting on anything else I would just like to say that I absolutely love the way you chose to write in 2nd person. I loved it. I always tend to like stories in 2nd person and am very happy you gave it a go.

I loved your characterisations. Mostly because this is how I'd imagine them to be later on in life. Making Cormac slightly obsessed with the garden was a nice touch because from the little we see of him in the books I can see him as the type of person to like perfection and order and being almost military in his precision with everything. Also a bit egotistic and arrogant. It was too sad he had to leave it in the end.

I also see Lavender as the really girly type which is only proven with her wanting the rose. (I'm not much of a rose person myself - I prefer a lily or even a daisy) (oooh maybe that's one of the reasons I don't like Rose Weasley, hm I'll have to see into that) And although It's a bit cliche you kinda made it work.

Okay, I love dysfunctional relationships. Although Lavender and Cormac seem like they should be perfect for each other they really aren't. Cormac never says 'I love you' first and he drinks too much and cares way more about his garden than her and Lavender knows all of this but it too needy and scared to leave him in case she has to be by herself for the rest of her life. And I'm pretty sure that Lavender loves him more than he could ever love her back.

I kind of feel really sorry for the both of them.

Cormac obviously always wanted to be a Quidditch player but he isn's as good as he thinks he is and after his accident there's no way he can actually live out his dream.

I also feel sorry for Lavender.

Actually I hate her.

She's so needy and pathetic and she just had to take him back. I certainly wouldn't have. It is his fault.

I suppose he did come back and apologise and that counts for something. He even tried to get her pet and eventually proposed to her.

Even though Lavender clearly doesn't think their marriage will last I think it will. I don't think she will get her sickly sweet happy ending but they will not get a divorce simply because he doesn't seem like the type to want a divorce and she wouldn't want to disappoint her parents. I think they will stick together even if it means being unhappy for the rest of their lives.

But, hey, that just what I think.

I didn't really notice many typos - Probably because I wasn't look the three times I've read it so far. I did pick out one "all you had to give to him was a few silk ties" I could be wrong but shouldn't that "was" be a "were"?

I had a few more problems with you structure. Most of it was fine but there are just some places where I think an extra paragraph should be added or two paragraphs should be put together. The only specific example I can think of right now is when he came back after drinking way his sorrows I think the line starting "you remembered the nurse calling you..." Should be a new paragraph.

Overall this was quite the enjoyable piece. Made me wish I could write like this.

-ChaosWalking.

P.S. I should really get round to reviewing Masterpiece . It is amazing! I promise to get right on it... err...maybe tomorrow?

P.P.S. i always seem to ramble on in your reviews don't I?

Author's Response: Oh don't worry - I'm suffering from the heat too :( We've had it a bit better than you, I think (I'm up north), and it wasn't too bad for us yesterday but today has been absolutely sweltering.

Haha yes, it is definitely a bit of a weird pairing - I think I was just trying to be creative, bearing in mind my usual pairings are limited to canon ones like Drastoria and fairly common ones like Scorose. When I was writing this, though, I really started to like the idea of them together, and now I'm a convert. She's needy; in his arrogance and self-absorbtion he finds it very flattering to be needed in this way.

I love second person too, both for reading and writing. I really want to attempt something longer than a one-shot in second person, though I'm not sure I could pull it off...

Glad you liked the characterisations, and the garden - I wanted to give Cormac something to obsess over and be all neurotic about, and I can really see him as the gardening type for some reason. Oooh interesting theory, maybe that is why xP

Haha I'm rather fond of dysfunctional relationships (in fiction, obviously, not in real life...) and I definitely think it wouldn't be smooth sailing for Cormac and Lavender. I know what you mean when you say you feel sorry for them but kind of hate them at the same time - yes, it's all a bit rubbish for them but it's largely all their own fault. They just go about things in the wrong way - he should never have proposed, and she certainly shouldn't have said yes, or even taken him back in the first place. Silly things :P

That's an interesting interpretation actually - as I often do with my stories, I wanted to leave the ending fairly ambiguous, mainly because I'm not sure myself how it should end. So whether they stay together or not is completely up to you, though I do rather like the idea of them sticking it out and being miserable simply because they don't believe in divorce.

Oops, embarrassing grammar mistake there. I'll get that fixed right away ;) I'll look over the structure as well - thank you, as always, for your helpful suggestions!

I'm really happy you enjoyed this! And even happier that you've read Masterpiece too!! That's probably my favourite story of mine at the moment, so I'm ridiculously excited to hear you say that. And pffft, nothing wrong with a bit of rambling! Long reviews are by far the best. Thank you SO MUCH, again! You are very possibly the best reviewer ever, you know that?


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Review #10, by CARPE DIEM He loves me, he loves me not

2nd January 2011:
Hello! Diem here from the forums. Thanks for requesting. Let's get right into it.

I'm usually wary of stories told in the second person because I'm not a huge fan. However, I find that the only authors who employ this technique are those who use it effectively and write well. You are no exception and managed to surprise me because I enjoyed this one-shot.

This is an intriguing ship you've got going here. I don't think I've ever read a Cormac/Lavender fic. My first impression was, ick, who would ever be with Cormac? Then I realized that I don't think Lavender is all that appealing either. But I guess there's someone for everyone. I doubt this pair gets invited to dinner parties very often haha.

When you write Cormac's comments on the rabbits and cats, I suggest putting quotation marks around them instead of italicization. Just a thought.

You are a fabulous writer. I'm serious when I say this chapter surprised me; not only was it a great second person fic, but it also had wonderful imagery, such as when Lavender describes his garden. I like the variety of syntax, from short, choppy sentences to long, descriptive paragraphs that kept it moving and interesting. I can't exactly put my finger on what it is about your writing style that really hooks my attention, but whatever it is, I like it.

I enjoyed the progression and pacing of the story, slowly revealing more and more about Lavender and Cormac's relationship. I am amazed that I felt sympathetic for Lavender, but you really brought her to life in this one-shot. She tried so hard to make it work with Cormac, to understand him and please him, and he never seemed to appreciate it. I feel like sometimes she makes up excuses for him, in order to turn a blind eye to the fact that she simply loves him more than he loves her.

Nice foreshadowing of the "Incident." It was subtle, but the capitalization made it stand out.

I think the word "pissed" was a weird choice... It seems to informal, or something. I would consider swapping it out for something else to the same effect.

"It was some guy thing that you weren't meant to understand." Hahaha, everything men do is something women won't understand. I completely empathize.

The symbolism of the rosebush dying when the relationship died was really powerful. I liked that a lot.

Woohoo! Parvati and Padma cameo. I knew those three wouldn't lose touch after Hogwarts. After all, Parvati and Lavender were obnoxious and inseparable. Out of curiosity, who are Holly, Jessie, and Alice? Whoever they are, they play the best girl friend card right - taking her out for drinks and making her laugh. Good job, girls.

Spelling and grammar:
- "done it, he would": the comma should be a semicolon
- "grandad": should be "granddad"
- "shiny bald": there should be a comma in between these two words
- some paragraphs have an extra line break in between them
- "had got": "got" should be "gotten"

So I liked this. The ending threw me a bit... Does Lavender think the marriage will last? I'm a bit disappointed that she got back with him. He abused her feelings, I think. I surely wouldn't have accepted the proposal. Nevertheless, it was a beautiful one-shot. I really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Not a second person fan? Shame on you! :P I'm a bit obsessed with it at the moment and there are some really wonderful stories out there, but this is my first proper attempt at writing one.

Haha don't worry, I'm not a Cormac fan - my first thought would definitely be 'ick' too xD Yes, that's exactly what I had in mind - neither he nor Lavender would be particularly desirable as a partner, so as no one else would want them, why not put them together?

Wow, thank you! I'm glad you liked the imagery and description because they've never been my strong points but I've really been working on them, so it must have paid off, yay :D

I'm also glad you felt sympathy for Lavender, because I sort of did too :( I see her as quite a weak character, very needy and really just desperate to be loved.

Indeed xP Men are a different species, really. We just aren't meant to understand them.

Ahh, the rosebush, I did love writing that! I know it isn't the most original idea in the world, but I loved it all the same xD

Well of course! BFFs and all that x) I rather like Parvati and Padma so I had to throw them in there somewhere. Holly, Jessie and Alice are just three random OC friends. I see Lavender as the social type so I didn't want to stick to just Parvati and Padma.

I think Lavender has finally accepted that she and Cormac aren't exactly made for each other and that he simply isn't going to love her as fiercely as she loves him, but she loves him enough that she will still marry him and hope for the best. Oh I definitely wouldn't have accepted the proposal either (mean, mean Cormac!) but I think she had to here because my idea of Lavender is that she wouldn't learn from her mistakes, she's too much of a romantic to be a realist, and, again, she is really, really desperate for love and so needy that she feels she just can't do without him.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm really glad you enjoyed it and I will definitely be bearing all your suggestions in mind, and correcting the typos and grammar as well. Thanks again! :)


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Review #11, by hufflypuff He loves me, he loves me not

25th September 2010:
the cormac and lavender pairing wierdlly really makes sense - i can imagine them as a couple. i love this story - sad but sweet - and really good :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the pairing because I rather like it too. I think they make a really interesting couple.

Thanks so much for reviewing! I really enjoying writing this and so I'm glad you liked it as well :)


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