There were some funny bits here like Lily constantly brushing her teeth. She does seem a bit delusional regarding the pregnancy, Jake and Willow. It's hard to say anything about the characters because we don't know much about them yet. I am curious about why Jake is acting like such a player/prat and why Lily is acting like a spineless little idiot. Ginny adored Harry for a long time but she wouldn't have taken this kind of treatment from him. Especially after they had sex.

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This isn't bad chapter but it seems too brief because we don't even know the basics about Lily like how old is she at this point. I want to read more, even though it creeps me out when pregnant teenagers are dating guys who aren't their baby daddy. But, it seems that you're going with an Atticus/Lily pairing (he was mentioned frequently enough) so if I want to read it, I'll have to get over my distaste, huh? Although I would LOVE to read a fic where the kid actually gives the child up for adoption. I don't think Harry or Ginny would want that so I imagine you're going in the direction of Lily keeping the child?

In any event, you did a good job with the dialogue and setting up some problems down the road but it would help us to know how old Lily is at this point so we have an idea of how bad the situation is for her. If she's 14 it's gonna be much worse than if she's of age...

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, I appreciate your feedback

You have to wait and see about Lily and Atticus, but I'll give you a hint, she really doesn't like him.

She's 16, in her sixth year at Hogwarts, it's pretty dire but not as bad as if she was 14.

Thanks again!



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