Reading Reviews for The Emerald Brooch
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by charlottetrips The Wedding

14th August 2011:
I seriously love your writing. This was my first Lily/Severus fic and I picked it from the Recommended 'Ships list and I'm very happy that I did.

The innocence and naivety of the start of the story was completely adorable. The play "real-life" the children got up to which was at the same time completely real to them was cute and brought a nostalgic feeling back for me when I played "house" and had pretend husbands and kids (though I could never actually get any boys to play the part).

Severus' absolute love for Lily is something that brought heartache to me in reading the books again after finding out in the books exactly what Lily was to him. It, to me, is a beautiful love, that he would be true to her always through all the pain and treachery he was involved in.

I can't even pick a favorite line because EVERYTHING is literally wonderfully written. The descriptions (like comparing Petunia's rocking to that of the sign), to the emotions involved with everyone, to the absolute sadness at the end. Without even going into it that much, you gave me just that much more understanding of how Sev lived his life as a child, miserable at home but with the one beacon of hope that was Lily.

And Lily, I like to think that she did think back on all her times with Severus, the sad and happy ones, even when she was with James. How lucky for her to be loved so well by two good men.

charlottetrips [Ravenclaw]

Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking a chance with Lily and Severus by reading MY fic. What an honor!!

I was EXACTLY thinking about "house" when I wrote this. This story was quite strange...I was given a word and a pairing as a prompt (agony / Sev&Lily) and had to go with it. I think there is nothing more agonizing than the broken heart of a child.and Severus fits the bill especially, even if he and Lily have different kinds of Agony in their childhood.

And well said at the end--I do think Lily was very blessed...despite the problems she had experienced with Sev. He came through for her in the end ;)

Thanks so much for your kind review!
-schoenemaedchen


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Review #2, by The Quiet Girl The Wedding

8th August 2011:
I knew it! I knew there would be something to prevent Lily and Severus from getting together! I felt so sorry for Lily, imagining how heartbroken she must have felt. :( And for Severus, unable to get out of the house. I knew when going in that their pairing couldn't work, but I was still rooting for them to have a happy childhood memory together. Oh, well.

I liked the way you portrayed your characters. Petunia was just perfect! I could tell how impatient she was at the wedding, not really wanting to be there but also nosy enough to see what would happen. And she also didn't say anything when Lily left the house at night. Just perfect. I also liked how you had Tobias Snape. In the short instance, I can tell you only just scratched the surface on how rotten he could be.

Finally, the brooch. The gift Severus gave to Lily. The Prince family heirloom. The reason Severus's parents were fighting when Severus got home from the park. The heartbroken Lily just dropped the brooch away as if it were made of tin foil. So simple, but that made me feel sorry for the two of them all over again. I wished at that moment I could have entered the story and united Severus and Lily myself.

Your writing is great, the story flowing well in my mind. You tied the story up quite nicely. Lily probably remembers that event every time it's stormy at midnight. I really enjoyed this story! Great job!

~TheQuietGirl, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review. This has been one of my favorite stories to write so far and one of those moments that kind of just came to me in a moment.

I find the dynamics of these two characters so important and integral to the whole series.

And awesome that you picked up on the Prince Family Heirloom, nobody has commented on that before ;) I wasn't sure it was so "obvious".

Thanks again!!


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Review #3, by AC_rules The Wedding

22nd June 2011:
That was so cute! Children definately do things like that - mock-weddings and I love Petunia's reluctance about the whole thing... and the brooch! That was so cute - honestly.

Poor Sev, and poor Lily waiting in the rain to go on her honeymoon :') I had such a wonderful image of Lily in her mothers shoes and pearls with too much make up on.

Really, I can't describe this in any other way but cute.

Go claws!

Author's Response: Hi there!!

Yeah, this story actually came about from a challenge where I had to put Sev and Lily in a "heartbreaking" situation. I thought long and hard how I could possibly make it canon, and of course I stumbled across their childhood time spent together. Children are the way they are, and I do think Severus lacked a childhood more than anything--that's where Lily came in.

Thank you for the kind words and I'm happy that you enjoyed the story!


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Review #4, by Mintleaf The Wedding

11th April 2011:
Oh my what a painfully adorable piece of writing! It was just so cute and lovely! I'm surprised and impressed that you were able to fit such a wide range of emotions in. Poor Snape, he's just never the winner is he? Anyway, this was just absolutely precious! Excellent work!

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thanks for stopping by and taking a moment to write me a review. I appreciate all the compliments and I'm glad you liked it :)


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Review #5, by justonemorefic The Wedding

13th February 2011:
OH my god that was the most adorable thing ever. I love fics featuring children. Something about the innocence of them in a time of war makes their stories so poignant. It really captures their childhood moments back before everyone grows up and hates each other and becomes jealous and all that mess.

Ahh the whole ceremony was too cute. The wonder at the brooch, Sev's fascination with Muggle toy machines. Hahah, I completely understand the feeling from when I was a kid. I always wanted them, but my mom wouldn't let me. The pregnant by kiss thing. And then Sev kissing her on the forehead >_< Adorable.

Breaks my heart at the end :( Ahh, poor Sev, poor Lily. I like how you ended it with her waking up as an adult to that. Wraps it all up, I think. Good work :)

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thanks for the review...this was so much fun to write. Getting in the minds of children...ahhh. It really takes one back to one's own days on the playground.

And of course the concept that children say the darndest things :)

It is a sad ending, a sad ending in that it realistically happens far too often in this world. I think it tugs at our heart string even more that we know its Lily and Sev...we feel like we know them!

Thanks for the lovely review!
-schoenemaedchen


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Review #6, by RavenclawBeater The Wedding

6th February 2011:
I'd like to start off by saying I usually don't like the Lily/Severus ship, but yours was absolutely amazing! I can imagine the childhood love they had, and it was so adorable! You did an amazing job! I really liked the way you wrote this! Great work!
10/10

Author's Response: Aww! Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to review. Super duper kind of you! Glad that I could make an unappealing ship a bit more appealing for you! ;)
-schoenemaedchen


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Review #7, by amy The Wedding

2nd February 2011:
this was a really great story

Author's Response: Hey there!

I appreciate you coming by and taking time to review. Also glad you enjoyed the story!!

Thanks so much!
-schoenemaedchen


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Review #8, by Houlestar The Wedding

2nd February 2011:
Oh wow. This was amazing. Lily, Petunia and Severus really felt like kids, which is great. ^_^ I loved it. I think it really summed up Lily and Severus's relationship very well. This story was really good because it was sweet and heart-breaking. Well done! 10/10

Author's Response: Hi there!

I appreciate you taking the time to read and review. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Thanks so much!! I'll get to your story very soon (its in my review request queue!)
-schoenemaedchen



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Review #9, by classicblack The Wedding

1st February 2011:
This is really such a cute story and definitely very creative.
I thought it was so great how you incorporated all the things JKR told us about Lily and Severus's relationship. Especially how Petunia hated it and Severus had an awful home life.
One of the most creative things I've ever read, especially in the end how you realize it was just a dream of Lily's.
Good Job :)

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thanks so much for taking the time to review. I really appreciate it. It was a joy to write!!
-schoenemaedchen


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Review #10, by Thatkewl:) The Wedding

1st February 2011:
Aww. That's so sweet:) I love sev.

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to leave a review! I appreciate it!!

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Review #11, by HarrietHopkirk The Wedding

30th January 2011:
I really, really love this! You have such a good writing style, and I really like the childish/slightly immature thing you've got going on. I always find it really hard to write children dialogue/thoughts because you can either make them really... really annoying and squeaky (this doesn't really make sense) or too mature for their age. I reckon you've got the perfect here, so well done! And well done for using the 'where do babies come from?' bit, it fitted in so well with the plot and Severus and Lily getting married!

I liked the characterisations of all your characters... they fitted in so well with characters in the books and they were really believable. Well done!

I loved the ending. I like how Lily still has (some) feelings (not necessarily love) for Severus. I think that is probably more guilt about how she ended their friendship or whatever.

A great one-shot, well done! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for the review.

It was, honestly, so much fun to write the dialogue for this story. I love the pure and honest words of children. They say the "darndest" things, you know.

I def. think Severus and Lily always had feelings for one another. Maybe they were stronger at one point, but I don't think Lily ever forgot and I'm sure she loved Severus for watching out for Harry, even from the grave. Just not the same kind of love that she had for James. They were two very different people.

Thanks again!
-Katie


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Review #12, by orderofthephoenix The Wedding

28th January 2011:
Orderofthephoenix here from the Claws review thread :)

Oh, this is a beautiful story with so much feeling in it. I just went 'aw' all through the story until the last paragraph. It's so sad how this pair didn't work out and I love how you used the child-like wedding to demonstrate just how close Severus and Lily used to be.

Petunia's reaction to their wedding was just as I would have imagined - wary and dismissive, and you portrayed Severus' brutal home life well. Lily was sweet and innocent and I could understand why she reacted as she did when Severus didn't meet up with her.

That was a nice but sad touch at the end when you revealed it was a dream of Lily's when she's all grown up, married (for real) and has a baby.

Spelling and grammar was brilliant and there's nothing I'd change in this story :)

Well done, I loved this fic :D

Sophia x

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for reviewing :) I was secretly hoping somebody would review this story.

I appreciate the compliments and that you took time for the sake of the claws!!

See you around!
-Katie


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Review #13, by DemetersChild The Wedding

28th January 2011:
Aww, when I first saw this story I thought it was going to be so sweet! It was truly adorable, a bit ironic and sad, but really adorable. The end made me so sad. I've always felt really bad for Severus--he had a terrible childhood and then a pretty terrible life. I can't say he was justified in the things he did, but he certainly didn't deserve everything he went through.

This story was really cute and really sad at the same time. Beautiful and unique story!

Magically Yours,

Dem

Author's Response: Hi there,

Thanks so much fort asking the time to review.

When I first got the idea for this story, it was for a challenge. I was offered a pairing and an "emotion"--the emotion was something like Angony or anguish. I can't quite remember anymore, but I remember that this was the result. Phew.

Severus is probably one of my favorite characters to write. He's so complex and has done some pretty nasty things in his life, but yet you're totally right when you say he didn't deserve all of it. Kind of breaks your heart a little when you hear about what he went through. I still sob when I read that part of DH... I remember it effecting me so deeply too!

Thanks for the thoughtful review!
-Katie


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Review #14, by LadyMalfoy23 The Wedding

26th January 2011:
oh, this is so sad. This is LadyMalfoy23 from the forums with you review, and i loved your story.

It was very creative, nothing i would have ever expected to see here. I'm gald you requested a review for it. As far as characterization goes, there isnt much to go off of, but this seems very believable to me. Poor little lily, i wanted to cry for her so bad. The flow was fantastic as well as the picture it painted a gorgeous realistic picture in my mind. All in all this was a truly fantastic one-shot and you should be very proud of it.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks so much for writing.

The story is kind of sad, isn't it? I've never written such a dark story before...well, I take that back. I just finished a James/Lily story and that's kind of sad too.

When I started writing James/Lily, I really thought they were the bees knees. Then when book 7 came out and I found out what was going on with Lily and Severus...oh. a whole new world of possibilities opened up.

I am proud of it...it even surprises me how it turned out sometimes. Haha. :)

Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a review. Appreciate it!
-schoenemaedchen


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Review #15, by Toujours Padfoot The Wedding

26th January 2011:
I loved this so much, I'm adding it to my favorites. Severus is such a great character - my favorite character in the books aside from Harry - and usually he's portrayed very negatively. I just adore everything about this story, from the cute playground wedding that made me feel eight years old again (I got married with dandelion stem rings once), to Petunia's impatience, Severus's intensity, and Lily's innocence, to her sitting in the rain waiting for him... It was very symbolic and you wrote it well. Your writing style is magnificent.

The only flaw I caught was this line:

He had let Lily down and he could only hope that he didn't hate her for it.

Don't you mean 'hope that she didn't hate him for it'? :) Anyway, this was a lovely read.

~ Toujours Padfoot

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thanks so much reading and reviewing.

This story took me WAY back as well. I also had a moment on the playground--with the "bad" boy to boot!

I don't think Severus is a bad person! I think he had a very hard childhood and is an extremely complicated character. People often see the surface and label him as "evil", but I think he's actually extremely vulnerable--especially as a child.

As for the flawed line, you're totally right, actually not the first person to catch it. I do have to go in and tweak that! Better get around to it soon. The queue is so long currently...haha.

Again, thanks so much for the review. Appreciate it!
-schoenemaedchen


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Review #16, by inspiredl The Wedding

23rd January 2011:
Heyy, InspiredL here from the forums with your rewiew (I know what you're thinking, wow I was fast getting this to you wasn't I? :P)

Ok, first of all let me just go 'AW!!' like I was all the way through reading this! Hehe, seriously, it was one of the sweetest things I've ever read, ever! :)

You're writing style if perfect, spelling and grammar are spot on, as is word usage. The whole thing flowed wonderfully and was very very easy to read because I was completely sucked in by it! I had one piece of CC... near the end you write "he could only hope that he didnít hate her for it." I'm pretty sure that this is a bit of a typo and that you mean "she didn't hate him for it." Not a biggy, just thought I should let you know! :)

The characterisation of all the children was perfect! Pertunia was the annoying, stormy offy, younger sister. Lily was sweet but slightly bossy and just how I would have imagined a young Lily to be. Snape was a bit odd and was completely in love with Lily. I also loved his back story and it was soo sad how his dad was like a drunk and stuff...

The things they said seemed just right for young kids and it was hilariously how seriously they all took the marriage. Also the conversation between Severus and Lily about kissing and babies made me laugh :)

The idea was really sweet and it made me so sad at the end to think of little Lily outside in the cold waiting for Severus and him being locked up and not able to get to her!

There was not one thing I would have changed in this story! It was absolutely amazing and a joy to read. I like it so much I have added it to my favourites!

Thanks so much for requesting a review! I hope this is good!

10/10
Lily ^_^

Author's Response: Wowzers. What a whopper of a review.

Thanks so much for all your lovely compliments. many of the reasons you like the story were what I was going for. I tried to think back to my days on the jungle gym during recess where we used to play around with such nonsense. Unfortunately, it was harder to write about Severus' more difficult life at home. I myself, thank goodness, never had to experience something like that.

There are still some grammar mistakes floating around in this story, haven't had it beta'd yet, but its a good reason to go in and tweak!!

I really appreciate the review and your thoughtful comments. Take care!


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Review #17, by Jane_Volturi The Wedding

28th December 2010:
Hi schoenemaedchen

First of all I would like to apologise for not getting this review to you sooner; I've been so busy with real life these past few months that it's been hard for me to find enough time to read this story.

I will admit, my initial reaction to first seeing the title of this story wasn't an overly enthusiastic one, but now that I've actually read the story, I realise that I completely underestimated the significance that it holds to the tale. I marvel at how cleverly you converted the representation of this emerald brooch from something so pretty and childlike into something a lot more grave and serious.


I'll begin with the general concept of this story. I've always thought that there is a lot of potential material with the Lily/Snape ship, but it's very rare that I ever come across a story involving it that I actually enjoy reading. The usual mistake that people often tend to make is instigated by their misjudgement of Snape's character. They either fail to comprehend his deep love for Lily, or they otherwise make him out to be far too cold and boring. You've hit the nail on the head with his character, no question about it, so kudos for that.

You also characterized Lily and Petunia very well. They almost mirrored the characters in the first few scenes in the chapter entitled 'Snape's Memory' in the seventh book. Lily, in my view, has always been a highly intelligent girl, but sweet and sensetive at the same time and I think that you did a very thorough job of depicting this. I also think you handled Petunia's character brilliantly. Everything from her lack of patience for Snape and Lily to her bossy demeanour was very accurate and precise.

I'm also delighted that you chose to include Snape's parents in this. You have no idea how infuriated I get when I read story after story about Snape, where his parents always go without a mention. I think you characterized Tobias and Eileen well; their arguing added a more sinister tone to the atmosphere and re-established the idea that Lily was perhaps the only joyful element to Severus's life, which of course urges the reader to feel a great deal of sympathy for Severus - so well done for managing to convey that emotion through your writing.

There were a few gramattical errors that I picked up on however:

1. '...Lily was suddenly aware AT how intently Severus stared at her...' should be '...Lily was suddenly aware OF how intently Severus stared at her...'

2. '...He felt her FROZE under the kiss initially...' should be '...He felt her FREEZE under the kiss initially...'

3. '...but THEM quickly relax when she realized it wasnít so bad after all...' should be '...but THEN quickly relax when she realized it wasnít so bad after all...'

Your writing is pure prose; it isn't just a random, unstructured scribble of thought. I also really enjoyed the structure of the storyline; the last part was unexpected, but it rounded the story off in a very sweet way, as though the storm raging outside was reminding Lily of a distant memory. It was very relevant taking into consideration how Lily and Severus's relationship ended in her fifth year, and I think it would be right to assume that she wouldn't have forgotten him, even after she'd married and had James's child.

A very sweet story. I really enjoyed reading this.

Katie

Author's Response: This review is absolutely amazing--

Not just saying that because it was positive in my favor, but I really see you've put a lot of thought into it. I really appreciate it, and I don't mind at all that it took you a while to get to it *peers towards her tardiness in her own queue*...

Thanks so much for taking the time. I appreciate it so much and I'm glad you enjoyed it!!


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Review #18, by VeniceLily The Wedding

3rd October 2010:
Hi there,
So sorry this took so much longer for me to get to than I thought it would!

This is such a charming one-shot, I really enjoyed it. Such a cute, childish story, but still so moving.

I love the idea of the brooch - it was the most valuable item, but Severus chose to give it to Lily . It's a wonderful example of how much he really loved her. It's heartbreaking to see that he would rather give it to her, and take the punishment, than not.

I have to say though, I feel like more should have been done with it - Like Lily sending it back to him years later, or keeping it until she married James, or something of the sort. I don't like that it just disappeared to a gutter one night, because it's clear they still had a friendship after this night...

You have a couple of typos here and there, but they don't distract the reader to much. One thing I would personally change, would be the "my love", Severus says to Lily. I really doubt he would be bold enough to say that to her.

Other than that, it's really cute, and I really enjoyed the ending especially, showing that she still dreams about him, about the brooch.

-Lily

Author's Response: Hey there,

Sorry it took me so long to respond...I've had a response in my head! The hubby is laying in bed sick with the flu so I've been a bit distracted playing nurse :-P

ANYWAYS, thanks for your lovely compliments.

You also make some very valid points. I'm not sure yet if I would change what happens to the brooch, I think there is also some significance at it being thrown in the gutter, but then, who knows what happens when I'm having an edit-happy day.

I do agree with you on the my-love thing upon further thought. Once I get this beta'd, it would be a good chance to change it and get to those typos.

So thanks for taking the time to write a thoughtful review, always appreciated.

Thanks!
-Katie


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Review #19, by SeverusLove The Wedding

29th September 2010:
I think it was lovely. Very heartbreaking and beautiful. Well done! :) ^^ XD

Author's Response: Thanks for reading!! :) I appreciate it.

-schoenemaedchen


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Review #20, by Elizabeth_Black The Wedding

26th September 2010:
Hey there! It's Elizabeth23 from the forums :)

I just have to say that the summary is just so cute! I seriously went "awww" when I read it.

I really really liked how this appeared, at first, to be a cute, sweet, innocent childhood story, and it turned to something bitter. The change was seamless, and it just seemed natural, if you get what I mean.

I really liked how you wrote Petunia and Lily, and portrayed their sibling relationship. Petunia was brilliant, and she was clearly the "older sister" - the way she acted at the wedding was perfect.

Your characterisation of Severus was both sweet and heart-breaking. He was adorable at the wedding with the brooch, and when he said that it matched his brides eyes was just so gorgeous. And then, once he got home, all the sweetness disappeared. I felt so sorry for him!

I thought that you wrote Severus' parents very well, despite how twisted their marriage was. I did like how you didn't bombard us readers with swearing and threats. Sometimes, with stories like this, is even more effective if you leave things mostly unsaid. So, for their marriage and the fights, it was so well written I felt sick just reading, as this story was really entrancing, no matter how much you want to look away.

It was sad how Lily was waiting in the playground at night for Severus. That was so bittersweet, especially how you then went over to Severus' point of view. It was so sad :'(

The ending! Oh my, that was just amazing! I totally didn't see that coming at all, and it finished the story in a bit more of a neutral mood, with a few unanswered questions, which I really liked.

There weren't really any grammar problems, just go over it to tidy up the paragraphs - it wouldn't take any more than 15 minutes :)

I really loved this story. It was entrancing, well written and very memorable, so you have done a fantastic job! Well done - 10/10 :)

~Lizzie

Author's Response: This was such a long and thoughtful review. I thank you VERY much for taking the time to write and reflect on my story. I'm sorry that this response has come so late.

I do appreciate it!! :)


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Review #21, by Lilly Barker The Wedding

23rd September 2010:
Ahwe, how sad :(
this was very well written and if you have more stories I will be sure to read them.
Great job ^^ 10/10
-lilly

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for taking some time to stop and leave some feedback! I appreciate it. There are definitely more stories on my Authors page :)

Take care!
-schoenemaedchen


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