aww that was soo cute!

I thought the first part was a bit confusing. The whole convo w Remus and Lily, but I really did like the one shot.

Maybe re reading the convo will help the oneshot become more clear and concise

Author's Response: :wub: Thank you so much! :) I know I need to go back and do some significant polishing to this story, but I'm glad you liked the overall story and thanks for reading and leaving a review! :)
Annie

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I really like the plotline to this one shot. The whole Lily and James thing is a tricky one, and this story gives us a nice journey through the maze of Lily's emotions, before showing us how and why she might eventually realise he's not what she always thought. It's original too - having James risk losing a quidditch game to save her would be exactly the kind of thing that would make her change her mind, but I've never read a story where it happened before.

I am a little confused as to why there was no staff intervention during this though. Possibly a more subtle approach would be more believable, as the Slltherin beaters would have been endlessly in trouble for purposely attacking a spectator, and several of the staff would have been able to prevent the bludger getting there. I didn't really think about this until after I'd finished the story though, so it's clearly not a big problem, but I just thought I'd ask.

Other than that though, it's a really nice and smoothly written one shot - thanks!

CapellaBlack, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Hi again Capella! :) This story and Miseld are pretty early in my FF career and I'm pretty lazy about edits, so they aren't great, but I have to thank you for sitting through them and leaving such helpful reviews! That is a really good point and I think having more staff interventions would definitely make me feel better about this story! Thanks so much!
Annie

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cue the very loud chorus of 'aw' this story is so great!!! I really love how at the beginning Lily is really fiery and strong, but slowly crumbles and gives into her feelings for James. I also like how James instantly forgets about the game and tries to save Lily (and does.) This was such a nice story!
~Kat

Author's Response: Hehe, thanks so much Kat! I'm glad you liked it and I am also in love with the banner *random not related to review comment from outside convos* because it's so very pretty! :D
Annie

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Hey! I love Lily/James so I had to read this! Really, really cute one shot. I especially love the friendship between Remus and Lily! So yeah, really really cute! I dont really have many comments, I'm sorry for that but I really did like this! So yay!!! :D

Author's Response: Hello dearie and thanks for doing the swap with me; I really enjoyed reading your story! :D

The Remus-Lily friendship was my favorite part to write in this story as they seem to just be perfect friends, even if a part of me thinks Lily wouldn't admit it. hehe, as long as you liked it I'm happy! :)
-ginger

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awww, I love this story :) I really liked how her and remus seemed like really good friends. That makes sense to me. That was pretty intense there how her and james got hurt at the end there, I didn't expect that. Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it! :)
Oooh, something you didn't expect! The main thing I worry about this piece is that it seems a little predictable or cliched, so you not expecting that turn just made my day! I've always seem Lily as a friend to Remus, as they both face challenges with thinking that they're accepted, whether they admit to it or not. Thanks again and have a great day,
-gingere

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A sweet one shot.

I love Lily's characterization and her conflicting feelings for James.

I also love that you use the quidditch game to set this shot as James loves Quidditch, and the fact he forgot about the snitch to save Lily, proves the kind of person he is- and removes the doubts Lily had about him as a person.

- Athar :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, oh person below me! :D

Wow, thank you! I really had a hard time writing Lily, so the fact that you liked how she was characterized has put a huge smile on my face! I'm really glad you liked this and hope you have a fantastic rest of the week! :)

-ginger

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I liked the characterisation of Lily at the beginning when she's all fiery and not wanting to give in to James, that's sweet. It seems a bit random when she collapses and starts sobbing though, but the Remus and Lily bit is quite cute.

It also seems a bit weird that Lily has made it to her sixth year without knowing the rules of Quidditch, and that doesn't seem to serve any purpose in the story other than to make her weaker and more dependent.

I liked the image of Lily falling from the stands and James catching her as she fell, that was a nice bit of fluff. It maybe would have made more sense if the bludger had gone her way by accident though - in all the time the Slytherins are goading James and he's flying over to Lily, there would have been plenty of time for the Gryffindor beaters to join the fight, and definitely for a teacher to step in and stop it happening.

Overall, it's a nice bit of fluff with some bits of good Lily characterisation, and it could be improved by keeping the plot realistic and sticking with Lily's fiery, independent character rather than making her a bit pathetic.

Nice work. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, as it is immensely helpful to hear where the weak spots are and what could be improved. I've been wanting to revise this for a long time, but I've never been sure how to start.
Thanks again,
ginger

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I LOVE IT! =] I think it is so cute that James broke his broomstick for Lily...Awww =]

Author's Response: Thanks Amy!! And please post more of chapter 2!!!

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Great! Those slytherins are such jerks >:O I liked all the discription you gave in this one :D And the sentence structure was really good. Cant wait to read your next fic!

Author's Response: Thanks and I'm glad you liked the writing in this one. chapter 2 of Misled should be up soon =D
hugs, ginger

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Oh, Ginger! You never siese to amaze me! Love It Love It Love It! James is such a Potter in this story. He saved the one he cared about. I still think Remus and Lily are a better couple than Lily and James, but not so much any more. Kay, things I really like: James saves Lily, Remus being all Remus-y, Lily being so counfused, and the Sltherien team's antics.
Hugs~ Tashi (hp931)
p.s. 8/10

Author's Response: Hi Tashi!!
I agree that Remus/Lily is better than James/Lily but James is such a Potter in this story can't see it any other way. :D Glad you liked it and have a wonderful day,
hugs, ginger

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This is great, what a rollercoaster ride of emotions, it's amazing how you manage to pack so many emotions in such a short story without making it feel rushed. And you describe everything so well; while reading it I really felt what Lily was feeling, so I'm very glad it had such a sweet ending and I can continue my day with a smile on my face =) Thanks for writing this and making a very bleak-looking Saturday morning so enjoyable for me!

Author's Response: Hi Pia!!
I'm glad you liked it and thought I got all the emotions across well since I know how Lily is feeling but found it really hard to get it into words and have it still be smooth and well paced. I'm so glad I cheered you up this morning and I hope you stay happy.
hugs ginger

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so far so good!:)i like it!!!

Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked it! =D
-ginger

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