Wow, I don't think I ever considered the idea of Rodolphus and Narcissa being in love; but the more I think about it the more I really like it. It adds such an interesting twist to how I saw both their characters before, because to be honest I never really pay either of them much attention, but now I can totally see the possibilities.
You shouldn't be nervous about this, it's beautifully written, and I think you do an amazing job of capturing emotion. I will however, still like to recieve my cookie. (Chocolate chip is my favorite ;D )
-Ronsgirl29Author's Response: I had never really considered the idea either, until I wrote it. Hehe. I guess I just thought it might make things more interesting.
Well then, you may have a chocolate chip cookie. But only because this review is absolutely lovely. Thank you! Report Review
Very well written piece. The "translucent veneer of her anger" was genious! I've never read a Narcissa/Rudolphus before, it's a very unusal pairing, so this was a first for me and I have to say that I was impressed! In fact, I'd love to go listen to the song you quoted now, as well... you've sparked my interest.
There weren't any spelling or grammar errors and the flow was perfect. My only complaint is that there isn't more to read :-( Another job well done, 10/10!Author's Response: I'm so pleased that you liked it! Sometimes this piece really bothers me, something about the language I think, so it's always nice to be reassured about it! Thank you so much! Report Review
Unusual pairing, but it definitely works the way you wrote it. And it makes sense for them to bow to tradition and not listen to their heart, though my ever-so-active imagination already envisions them in an AU-story. He probably wouldn't torture the Longbottoms and end up in Azkaban, but Narcissa also wouldn't be there to lie for Harry to Voldemort. But enough of that :P
Very well written, and an interesting spin on them.
xxx LeoAuthor's Response: Very unusual, yes, haha. I thought it would be interesting to try something like this, even though I don't necessarily like the pairing. I just like things that are different sometimes. :D I'm glad that you enjoyed it, thank you for reviewing! Report Review
lol, yes, I'm not above bribery :) I think you did a great job! When I saw it was about Rudolphus and Narcissa, I was very apprehensive about reading it. But this had to be the best scenario for trying to read something new. I thought you captured the feeling of forbidden love perfectly. When you know you can't be together because you'd be outcast from your family, that has to be the worst. What I didn't understand was why it was paired off that way. What was the reason they couldn't perhaps switch partners? Those were just the questions that would pop in my head.
Great job though, I'm glad you made my trip thinking outside the box easy on me :)Author's Response: I'm glad that you thought it was a good venture into something new; it's definitely not a common pairing. It's not even necessarily a pairing that I ship, I just think it's interesting. And I know I could have answered those questions in my writing but I guess I've always been more of a vague person, haha. Thank you for the review! Report Review
Wow, I loved reading this! It was so brilliant, so beautiful, and so delicate yet powerful I was drawn in with every work. Not omsehting usual, but the writing was what really made me fell it was believable. You expressed their love with a very dramatic yet simple way of letting it all unfold that I really did feel like it could have happened. Great job on this and I can't wait for my next oppertunity to read more of your writing! :)
-gingerAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so much! This is a lovely review. :) It's always nice to hear my writing complimented this way, it makes me feel like I've really accomplished something, hehe. Again, thank you! Report Review
'He was older than she, and as such had a better, more accurate perspective on their situation' It's just my opinion but I sort of feel that instead of this line you should have said something about Narcissa being immature rather than him being older. Maybe immature is the wrong word though... Naive maybe?
I've loved AFI since I was relatively little so it's nice to see such a pretty lyric incorporated here.
I also like that you've given these characters real emotion. Too often writers forget that Death Eaters are actually people haha. Your sentences are very wordy/lengthy at times but it definitely suits the piece! :) I liked this quite a bit, it was generally very pretty for lack of a better word haha.Author's Response: The thing I've always disliked about this piece is that the wording can get so tedious. I've never been able to bother with editing it, so I completely understand what you mean. I'm glad that you did enjoy it, though. I really liked the premise of the story and the idea of Rodolphus/Narcissa, so it's nice to see other people appreciating it. Thank you for the lovely review! Report Review
I really liked it. Very well written =) I'm more of a novel girl but I was reading it for the Gryffie Easter Egg hint and I was pleasantly surprised. Your descriptions are very good, great use of adjectives (oh how I love adjectives!).
Well done!Author's Response: I'm glad you think it was a good use of adjectives, haha. I've been worrying about this piece for that very reason, but this is a very reassuring review! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it! Report Review
Wow, I never pictured Narcissa with Rodolphus before. But I really, truly enjoyed this and I am going to look out for some more N/R :)
xxAuthor's Response: Yeah, I don't think it's a pairing that people write about very often. I just felt like doing something different. :) Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Oatmeal Raisin, please! :D But seriously, Well written, good flow and it's nice to see a behind the scenes kind of look at the often over looked, stereotyped as a Stepford wife, Narcissa. Touching without being sticky saccharine sweet. I would say you have nothing to be nervous about this piece for. O for Outstanding.Author's Response: -gives cookie- :D I've always loved Narcissa's character. I just feel like there's so much more to her than what we get to see, so I like writing about her. Thank you for reviewing! I really appreciate it! Report Review
I've seen so few stories that focus on Narcissa, but this is the second of yours that I've really enjoyed. I really felt for her and Rodolphus here.
Merry Gryffie Christmas!Author's Response: Thanks! I really enjoy writing Narcissa; I think she's such an interesting character and you're right, there aren't many about her! Report Review
You managed to take those two unlikely characters and put them into a situation that feels so real and so true, I almost wonder if it isn't ...
The characters are vibrant and their love feels like the most beautiful thing in the world. I feel for Narcissia's heartbreak; so much that it actually fits with the way she is written as an adult : like someone who lost and now lives with that loss heavy on her heart everyday.
Great piece, I loved it.Author's Response: Thank you so much! It really makes my day that you think so. That's exactly the feel I wanted to create with this. Report Review
Narcissa and Rudolphus??
something really new!! :D
And the emotions and the use of the quote went in a flow and nothing seemed out of place! and the emotions were really well dealt with. Bravo!
~CessZAuthor's Response: Thanks CessZ! (: I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. Report Review
I don't know why you're nervous about this at all? Because it's nothing short of brilliant.
It's lovely to think that Death Eaters were capable of being human at one time. I love seeing that part of Rudolphus. It may seem a bit OOC to some people, but I don't think so. I think it's nice to be reminded that all the Death Eaters were young and had dreams at one stage.
Narcissa is beautiful in this. I feel so sorry for her. You can tell that she really suffered in her life and I like that this was maybe the beginning of that tale of suffering.
You portray their emotions well. You use limited words but the words you do use have power.
It's interesting to think that Rudolphus and Narcissa may have once loved each other. I never would have thought of it but it seems believable, at least it is believable in this piece of yours.
I don't think it's cliche, either. Love is hard to do without being cliche but this is something different and fresh and I liked that.
It was cute. It was bittersweet. It was sad. It was fluffy. And it was lovely.
Joop :)Author's Response: Joop! (:
You're too sweet. I can't thank you enough for the lovely review.
I tend to write Death Eaters that way, I suppose. I like to show the side of them we never see in the books. Rodolphus is one of my favorites to write because we know so little about him and have the freedom to make our own inferences. I've written him a few very different ways.
Narcissa, too. I've written her this way, in love with Lucius, etc. I think she's a beautiful character to write for because we can only see what's been told to us.
I'm really pleased that you liked it, Joop! Thanks for the review. Report Review
A poignant and beautiful snapshot of a goodbye. Very well written. Short but sweet, it tugs on the heartstrings and makes you yearn for more. Gorgeous job.Author's Response: Thank you so much(: You've put a big smile on my face. Report Review
Hi! It's me! Here to tell you that this will be in the next TWH. :D
I think this was really sweet and strangely believable. But the kiss seemed a bit...off, and cliche. But it was a good piece nonetheless... the beginning was exceptionally brilliant. And surprisingly, I can't seem to spot any spelling/grammar mistakes anywhere.
Well done. :D *thumbs up*
SevvyAuthor's Response: Ooh, fun! I swear that I am going to find time for that game at some point!
Thanks for the review, I'm looking forward to the TWH. (: Report Review
I love the idea you have here and the execution was flawless. Lovely job!Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you think so(: Report Review
Hello! Here with your review. :D
I like the opening line. It was quick and pulled you in to the story very well. I almost felt lost at the end. There was so much more potential in this story, I believe. I could see it having the capacity to be so much more than a small one shot. It was well written and quite believable. I'm sorry I can't leave a longer review, but there wasn't much of the story and not a thing that I could find wrong with it. Aside from there not being enough. LOL. Great work, truly. :D --JennaAuthor's Response: I agree; it could be expanded. I can just never be bothered to expand my one-shots, even when people ask, haha. So I kept this one vague. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Hey I'm here for your review,
I have to that I honestly love this. I've never read anything Rodolphus/Narcissa before but I can now say I'd be interested in reading more on them. Amazing description and an absolutely brilliant flow. I'm not sure what else to say really, Sorry but Well done!
Thanks for requesting
x ElyAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm really pleased that you like it; it's definitely reassuring! Report Review
Hey! I'm here wiht your review! :)
Hm... this peice was interesting. I liked how you made it into a forbidden love thing. I thought that was a great idea. ;) I've never read a Rudolphus/Narcissa story before, but I liked the way that you wrote them.
Your description was really good! It seemed almost poetic, some of the phrases. I thought oyu really did a good job there. It didn't seem too over the top, either, which I believe was one of the things you were worried about.
Overall, I really enjoyed this! Keep up the great writing and drop by my review thread again soemtime! :) *happily chews on cookie* Glad you asked for a review on this!Author's Response: I've actually never read a Rodolphus/Narcissa, either. The inspiration just struck me! Haha.
I'm glad you think so; it was one of the things I was worrying over. It's nice to be reassured(:
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
A cookie, eh? Good thing I have a sweet tooth. I love me some cookies. ;)
I thought you did well with this piece. I really rather liked it. I, too, have explored a Rodolphus/Narcissa relationship because that's the direction my muse took me one day. It's ironic because I really rather like that pairing and it's never written about. (Though, admittedly I love Lucius/Narcissa, too.)
I liked their characterizations, too. Though, I couldn't help but hate how he assumed he knew more simply because he was older. How arrogant! Yet I couldn't dislike him too much for it.
Goodness knows that someone had to be the strong one. Otherwise the torrid affair would go on, and while I doubt Bellatrix would care - I'm pretty sure that Lucius would throw a right hissy fit if not more. ;)
Your descriptions were wonderful yet not too over the top. I particularly liked this turn of phrase: though her voice betrayed her inner anguish through the translucent veneer of her anger. I think it caught both her anger and despair quite well which isn't always pulled off correctly. I think it's safe to say that you did so here.
While this piece is of mere brevity, it seems to speak oceans. It tells of how unfair not only their families were, but of the expectations that were thrust on them. I would sincerely hate being born into the Black family. Not one of them (including the good guys) had a happy ending.
LindersAuthor's Response: I was actually quite surprised to find inspiration for Rodolphus/Narcissa as I'm kind of a loyal Lucius/Narcissa girl and I like to write Rodolphus/Bellatrix (though admittedly I never write them as in some sort of mutual, loving relationship). But I was happy to be inspired!
I did want to give him flaws, so I emphasized that point. It was very arrogant of dear Rodolphus :P
You're quite right about Lucius, which was another element of the story. Rodolphus wanted to protect Narcissa which is one of the reasons he pushes her away.
I'm glad you think it wasn't over the top because that was my biggest concern. I was scared to come off pretentious (I think I spelled this wrong, but I'm tired and can't be bothered to check, haha) and awkward.
I'm happy you think that about my story! I definitely wanted to portray the constrictions of that lifestyle in this.
Thanks for reviewing! (: Report Review
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