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6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MGMalfoy Doing Something

26th January 2013:
I love this chapter, especially the last line

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Review #2, by JilyRonks The First Day of Classes

20th May 2011:
Actually loving this story so far (: , More chapters soon please :)

JilyRonks x

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Review #3, by my name is magic End of Summer Days

8th October 2010:
short but you favorited my story so i shall read yours i like where its starting but i can be to nice at times (trust me)
-my name is magic-

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Review #4, by Sara End of Summer Days

6th October 2010:
OH COME ON U CANT END IT LIKE THAT!! Hurry up and update please!

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Review #5, by phoenix5core End of Summer Days

5th October 2010:
Great beginning to a story, though it seemed a little bit short, which gives good introductions to the characters it seems like you'll be using. Some good environmental and surrounding descriptiveness wouldn't go amiss. Hope to see more soon!

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Review #6, by Hayleekins End of Summer Days

5th October 2010:
Ooooh :) This sounds that it could be a really good story! It just seems too rushed. You could have added a little more into this chapter, it wasn't extremely long.. You could try discribing thigs more, surroundings, sounds, emotions, peoples appearence.. What was Lily, or any of the other characters wearing? Was Diagon Alley horribly crowded, with Mothers running by with their children, muttering about the high price of scales, with children gushing about the newest fastest racing broom, with an escaped cat causing a menace in the pet shop. Could Lily and her company have fought their way through the bustling crowd towards the nearly empty bookshop, headaches already forming in their minds?
I'm not sure if I'm helping at all, but I had quite a problem with not being descriptive enough, and I had a very lovely reviewer tell me so, and used a veeerry nice example, so, I thought I would try and pass down the wisdom!
I can't wait to see where you take this story, so you better keep updating!! :):)
Alright, alright, I'll hurry up and end this looong review :D
I give it... 8/10, for potential ;)
PS, if ya wanted, you could check out some of my stories?? JUST if you wanna :D

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