Reading Reviews for Closed Secrets
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheGoldenKneazle Miss Always Invisible

1st May 2011:
This is such a great one-shot. I always just saw Lisa as a name, and it's amazing what you've done with her character; made her into a person with a great history, character, and very much real pain. I loved the idea that her and Colin Creevey were really close too, and 'her' place on the astronomy tower. The length is perfect, and the anonomity of the asker of that last question is so clever, because it makes it seem like it doesn't matter any more :( Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I must admit that I had ball creating Lisa. I believe that everyone in the world needs that one special person and for Lisa that was Colin. Once again, thank you.

x Ely


 Report Review

Review #2, by Giola Miss Always Invisible

22nd April 2011:
Wow.

I really feel for Lisa. Her whole dilemma, valuing her life above others, reminds me of Harry, except he has the opposite issue. He ends his life to save everyone else, whilst Lisa saves herself.

You have me wondering who said 'Friend of yours' at the end. I'm assuming it's just a line you added in, of no real consequence, but something about it rings a bell with me, making me think it was in DH. Or at least it was somewhere that I've read before...gah... (I will now go re-read the end of DH to see if that pops up anywhere...)

I noticed a few typos:
She was scared. She was scared of walking in there and finding all of **her** friends pale-faced, the light in their (you didn't have the 'her')

and

What if they we're **(should be 'were')** going to change the world if they had just lived a day longer?

Thought I might as well point them out :)

Lovely writing on a very minor character, she's hardly ever mentioned and I don't think there's any other stories on the archives from her POV.

The backstory was also nice detail into her.

-Julia

Author's Response: Thank you! I suppose it's sort of the opposite of Harry isn't it?

I'm not sure whether it actually is in DH or whether I picked it up from somewhere else, I suppose it was the first line that popped into my head.

Thank you for pointing those out! I'm sure there are some out there somewhere, but thank you for the lovely review.

x Ely


 Report Review

Review #3, by Fleur Delacour Potter Miss Always Invisible

9th January 2011:
This was nice! I liked the briefness of it, it really makes it hit the reader hard. There are a few typos here and there, but they don't detract from the reading experience.

I like how you showed Lisa's guilt about not fighting with the others. It hurts my heart :(

That's a neat choice of activity by your teacher. And inspiration does really come from everywhere, doesn't it?

Fleur

Author's Response: Thank you!

Well our 'theme' for last year was reconciliation so we were looking at all sorts of different stuff, this was my favourite out of all of them.

x Ely


 Report Review

Review #4, by lia_2390 Miss Always Invisible

3rd January 2011:
That's quite the inspiration you have there. To be selfless or selfish. It's something I can't begin to fully understand just yet. I guess you'd really have to know if you've lived such a full life that you can so easily give it away so someone can get another chance to live theirs. Either way, it's something to think about.

I wouldn't call Lisa Turpin a coward either. Perhaps she's someone who doesn't know her own strength so she underestimates her capabilities. Or maybe it just wasn't her battle to fight. Her story, I found, was rather sad; to be given up like that and to not really have anyone there except Colin but as we learned at the end, he was gone. I liked that she could seek some sort of solace by sitting up in the Astronomy Tower with the stars as her only company. The childhood reference there was a nice touch.

This was a nice little one-shot you have here. In a short word count, you managed to address something rather profound.

Lia

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely review! I really enjoyed writing Lisa :)

x Ely


 Report Review

Review #5, by xxpetrapan Miss Always Invisible

9th December 2010:
I liked it! I feel sorry for Lisa but I guess she was just being herself! I know I am going to cry so much durning DH 2, poor Colin, he was so sweet

10/10
Kattia

Author's Response: Aw, God me too. Colin reminds me of my little brother so I'm gunna be bawling my eyes out when he dies.

x Ely


 Report Review

Review #6, by Northumbrian Miss Always Invisible

7th November 2010:
Hi
You really manage to bring a character who is no more than a name to life. Lisa's self-doubt in the first part of this story, is very well written, well done.
Colin Creevey's death is an event which seems to run through my stories, too. You manage to bring out the tragedy of the death of the youngest combatant (who would not have any mourners at his bedside because his parents are Muggles.
A couple of things to look at:
First: on the edge of the road for a week? That seems very unlikely. Perhaps you should expand on that. Perhaps that is what she wass told, after all, she was three, she can't remember.
Second: Second section, third paragraph - "she was scared off" should be "she was scared of" and "guiltity" minor things, I know, and easily fixed.
Well done.
N

Author's Response: Hullo!
Thank you!
I was sort of experiencing this at the present time and I suppose that effected my writing.
I felt so sorry for him when he died. He was such a lively character that I felt I just need to add him in there.
I had an idea this morning on how to fix that and was just about to change it.
Yes, I'm hoping to invest in a beta for all my stories eventually.
Thank you again!
x Ely


 Report Review

Review #7, by liza_potter Miss Always Invisible

29th September 2010:
Considering how little we actually know of Lisa Turpin, I think you did a good job. I could see you had fun with her backstory- her parents leaving her on the side of the road at age three? How terrible. Though surviving a week without water and food would be nearly impossible. I'm sure a little three year old girl at the side of the road would be noticed earlier as well. But that's just my opinion. :)

It's interesting how she didn't take part in the Final Battle. She didn't turn out to be some sort of hero. I liked her process of thought- did her actions really make her a selfish coward? It's an intriguing topic to think about.

Your grammer was quite good, but one thing that jumped at me was "Madam Pompfrey". It's actually "Pomfrey". Sorry, I'm a terrible nit picker. ^_^

Overall, however, I think this was a great one-shot. One that someone makes wonder, really. Thank you so very much for entering my challenge!

-Liza

Author's Response: Thank you. Indeed I did.

Thought it would be something different to what J.K wrote for us and have someone who wasn't some big hero.

Thank you so much for creating your challenge.

x Ely


 Report Review

Review #8, by Elizabeth_Black Miss Always Invisible

27th September 2010:
Me again! *hugs*

This was completely bitter sweet. Like at the start how Lisa said that she didn't want to prove anyone wrong about her...that just broke my heart. I also really liked reading what was going through her head as she stayed at the tower. It makes you stop and think "well, what would I do in a situation like that?".

The ending, despite being so sad, was so sweet, too. It was another really haunting and memorable end (you're good at those). "one of the best," she replied - so beautiful! I'm just...speechless!

You are such a brilliant writer, Ely! Another perfect 10/10 :D

Love,
your fellow Plague Rat x

Author's Response: *hugs* Loff you!

That was what I aiming to do. We heard from J.K all thepeople who fought and died so I thought at least one person would have heitated.

Well thank you very much dearest Lizzie! You are too kind.

x Ely
(Your Opheliac)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login