Reading Reviews for Saving Grace
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bells Chapter 5

5th January 2012:
love. love. love. but -i'm dying here- what happened with james and lily?? i'm like literally biting my fingernails in anticipation. grace is so thoughtful, poignant, mysterious. and james is a quietly adorable, curious bloke. LOVE! --b

Author's Response: Thanks very much. James and Lily's story is complicated, but let's just say for short that James went over the line, making trouble, and Lily got to pay the pricee.
Thanks for the review!

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Review #2, by Phoenix_Flames Chapter 3

1st October 2011:
And back for the next! :) Great chapter, love!

A great beginning of the chapter. I thought it was grew how you said it was past midnight and then added the one in there. It was a humourous part that really added a lot the story story. All those little details do that.

Another detail I loved was when James was looking at the Marauder's Map. Another touch to add personality to the story. Really great, and I loved the little details showing who was out of bed. :)

And that ultimately led to the rest of the plot for the chapter! It's creative how you work those small things in there and they really do have a big contribution to it all.

It was a short chapter, but it really contributed to the plot and progress of the story. So brilliant job there.

At first, I was quite scared. I had no idea what Grace was doing up there, and I believe I would have gotten the same idea that James did. He's right. What is one doing when standing on the top of a tower other than jumping to kill themselves? So I really got that, and I loved how you went about it.

Something I noticed in this chapter is how reversed the characters are for a typical relationship, you know? Generally it's the guy who is the risk taker and makes the girl step out of her comfort zone to discover something fun and relaxing by doing something absurd, but you switch that around and that really makes this story stand out. I adore that difference and the fact that she does that to him, that she's out there being pretty much crazy and James is trying to tame her. It was really cute.

The dialogue for the scene was so fitting as well, and while the mood was somewhat serious, the dialogue just made me smile and laugh because I just found the whole thing precious once I knew there was nothing to worry about. :)

Ah, and then the listening to the snow and the wind! That was really cute. I felt as if it were this big moment of zen and relaxation. The entire scene was a great time to bond, and you took advantage of that. I felt as if their relationship really made progress, and then she was gone!

Ah, such a big disappointment! :) But really a nice way to close up the scene and leave things all up in the air. It was a perfect way to develop their relationship. I felt as if the entire scene had had this huge build up, and instead of closing it up, you still left it all up in the air. So all of that build up is still inside, and it's encouraging and exciting because that will carry over into the next chapter.

Awesome job. I found the listening to the snow and the moving of the wind a different type of relaxation from normal, but the way you wrote it nearly made me relax as well with James in the end, listening to it all. Your word choice was beautiful, and it all flowed together perfectly. :)

Such a great chapter, Vicki! I love it. As always, I have nothing to complain about. You're brilliant. :) I will try to hit the next chapter soon! My queue is short! :D

Author's Response: Thanks for getting to me so fast! :D
Well, it was to add to the fact that it's late, and he's still up. Almost as if counting.
what else to use the map for than escaping teachers? Hehe. I believe Harry did it a few times too, I would too. It's almsot like having knowledge of people they don't know :P
Personally, I think this was one of the most important chapters, when thinking about bringing them closer. Also, it gives the story a big, but needed push towards what this is all about.
I agree with James - but let's just get one thing straight: Grace is much stronger than anyone really knows, stronger than James maybe. But this of course did nothing to help Grace seem more sane. Or may it just helped to make her seem deeper, a little Luna-ish... without the nargles of course :P
YES! haha, you caught it. I'm so sick of hearing of this irrisponsible boy and bookish girl getting together, so I decided to twist it a little around, basing my character Grace on a few wild girls I've seen on television or read about in books. Because I just wanted to make something different, and in comes these two.
It is kind of a relaxing - but serious at the same time - scene, focusing on the great questions of life, kidn of :P
Another 'message' I've tried to bring forth in this story, is to once in a while, take a step back and enjoy your surroundings instead of just rushing forward. Stop, take a breath, there's nothing better. Especially on a rainy day :P
In my head, there was never any other way to end this chapter. It's yet to early to close it with something more, a thing Grace could feel, which was why she left without saying good night.
Thanks for this wonderful, wonderful review, Drue! :)

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Review #3, by Phoenix_Flames Chapter 2

28th September 2011:
Hello there love! I'm here with your review as requested. Thanks so much for requesting and pulling me back to your story. I've been so busy that I just haven't had any time for free readings, so it would have taken me awhile to get around to it. But not now! Yay!

And what a good chapter! I'm really starting to love it more and more, and the same thing goes for Grace for me. I love her character. She is fun, clever, unique, original, and witty. Just a great girl. And I can see her with James. ;)

This was a great chapter that developed their characteristics and the plot really well. It was very cute. You're showing very well that James is definitely into Grace. The checking of the time, the staring. It's clear what his feelings for her are, and they were so cute. I loved it all.

I thought the first half of the chapter was great. Just some light fluff and I adored it all. Then Lily popped up and made me laugh. I found that quite funny, she saying that Grace is out of his league. Hilarious, but I agreed right with James. He's a Potter, and James is my baby. He can have any girl he wants. ;) So I loved that he said that as well. Brilliant little addition to his personality and it was also such an adorable little banter between brother and sister. So cute.

You do really well with making the dialogue sound so natural. It all just flows so well, and just runs right from one person to the next. It really helps us connect with the characters, and you make the story so full and well-rounded. You turn your characters three-dimensional and really bring them off the screen.

Ah! And I love the nickname you gave Dominique. I have never seen that before, and I love it. I thought it was so cute, calling Dominique Nicky. That's really clever.

This chapter was brilliant and so enjoyable. I loved the brother sister moment, and I also thought you clued us in on James' thoughts very well. I can somewhat understand why he is feeling the way he is about Grace, and you voice it so well.

Now that I feel like I'm just leaving a fangirl rant, let me try to say something helpful. :P I think my only advice is to add a little more descriptions here and there. While you get all the emotions across very well at the beginning and the end of the chapter, the middle is somewhat lacking that feel. The dialogue kind of jumps from one to the next, and it moved a little fast, but it still flows very well so it's not that big of a deal at all. :) and that's only one little thought of mine.

This story is going so well, and I really can't wait to read more of it. Thank you for requesting the next chapter love, and I hope I can come by for the next sometime soon.

I hope you found this somewhat helpful. I know I just kind of went on about the things I loved, but there are just so many things! Super great, lovely! :)

Author's Response: Oh, wow. Such a wonderful review from you! :D
Grace is wonderful (I love her too) and I'm so happy you find her all those things. James is pulled towards her and finds her interesting, but he doesn't know he likes her just yet, though he does find her attractive. Who wouldn't?
James and Lily... You catch it pretty well, but there's more there than just banter... Mostly from James, but we'll get into that later. I'm glad you liked it, the part was very difficult for me to put right with the things I know are there...
I figured Nicky would be a little refreshing, and I can't believe I haven't read any other story with that name for her...
Haha. I love rants ;) Yeah, I can see what you mean. I guess when something just comes to me or I focus too much on the dialogue, I forget everything else...
Thanks for yet another wonderufl review. You always make me so happy :D

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Review #4, by Aether Chapter 3

16th September 2011:
Wonderful chapter. I think this is my favorite chapter so far. I love the imagery in it, and Grace's character is fantastic. She seems depressed, like she's lost her grip on the world and is sort of stuck in her own strange vision. I have this image of her drifting, like the snow. She's losing her connections to the world, too - she's distancing herself, emotionally, from her friends. I can see how she and James would be good for each other. James might reignite her desire to be a part of the world, and she might help James loosen up and be more open. Either way, that's just my impressions, as you asked. :) I love this story so far. This chapter was absolutely beautifully written. 10/10


Author's Response: It's also my favourite chapter! :D
And everything you say... well, it's the whole point, really. Grace needs to get her world back on track again, getting a grip on it and move on. She's got a lot of problems which she solves much like you notice, by distancing herself from people. But also, she does something which James doesn't: She lives and enjoys the moment, which is something he has yet to learn. He mvoed a little forward just here.
Thanks a lot for the reviews!

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Review #5, by Aether Chapter 2

16th September 2011:
I love how James is able to see a difference in Grace's eyes. She's not happy - not smiling with her eyes. I guess he's pretty perceptive. :) I think it's interesting that Dominique would know that James sees something wrong with Grace, or that James could help Grace. It seems intuitive of her, and it was very forward of her to tell James about that intuition. Or, maybe it's more than an intuition, maybe Grace said something specific to Dominique. Great chapter!


Author's Response: James is very good with people, seeing easily through them. Dominique has some of that too, but she's a little more caught up in her own world, and doesn't know how to 'help' Grace the way James does. Grace has yet to confide her thoughts abotu James in Dominique - we'llg et to that :)
Thansk for yet another review!

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Review #6, by Aether Chapter 1

16th September 2011:
Nice chapter. I have a few questions lingering in my mind, especially about some of the things that came up in dialogue - like when James mentioned something that 'happened on winter break.' I sort of wish I'd been told about it in James's narration (or maybe I missed it). Also, how does James know about the fact that there's a pop quiz the next day? Meh, I'm patient enough to see in the next chapter, but it got a bit confusing. :)

Also, I'm still having some trouble putting a finger on James. In the beginning of the chapter, he considers being cruel to the crying girl, which strikes me as odd. Because of that, at this point I see James as uncertain about who he is - in limbo, still deciding about what kind of person he wants to be. He's sort of stuck in his little circle of thought - believing in stereotypes (about girls) and unwilling to venture away from his guy friends to fix them. I could imagine that he might have other misconceptions that he hasn't been able to undo because he's kept himself from experiencing them. (Well, this is just my impression of James at this point).

I really enjoyed this chapter, and I look forward to reading more about James and Grace. :)


Author's Response: I see what you mean. But somehow it didn't fit, plus James doesn't know much about it, besides that Grace got into loads of trouble, earned a lot of detentions and got on the bad side of most of the Professors.
Well, I imagine James to be the most quiet/decent among his group of friends, but he still likes to break rules to a certain degree. In my head, Fred was the one finding out about the quiz, and then told James. You have caught James spot on and seen much more than any other reader I think! He doesn't know who he wants to be any longer (we'll get to that), and he's having a hard time, choosing between responsibility and recklessness. This is where Grace come into the picture.
I just want to point out that it was a list of possibilities which was running through his head in the matter of seconds. In the end, he just wanted to ask if she was okay. He could never have been cruel.
Thanks for the review!

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Review #7, by Aether Prologue

16th September 2011:
Excellent first chapter! Grace seems like a very unique character. I'm intrigued - and interested in finding out what made her this way. I love how you've piqued my interest in her, since I often have trouble connecting to OCs in the beginning of a story. I feel like it would have been nice to have seen more of James's character in this first chapter. I don't see much to the teenage boy - is he a bully like his grandfather was? Sensitive? Shy? Loud? All I feel like I've learned in this chapter is that James plays Quidditch and isn't the most popular guy in school (though he's popular enough to be known by Grace). Either way, that's probably just a matter of opinion. Wonderful first chapter! You're a great writer. :)


Author's Response: Thanks for getting to me!
I'm so thrilled you could connect to Grace already - I to often have trouble with that in the beginning - so it was important for me to have more focus on her than James. Which is probably why you didn't get much of an impression on him. Also, James is in doubt himself of who he wants to be, but I'd say he's mroe like his father than his grandfather.
Thanks for the review! :D

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Review #8, by Phoenix_Flames Chapter 1

15th September 2011:
Hey there, Vicki! I'm here for the next chapter! YAY! I'm sorry for the incredibly long wait. I don't know if you saw, but my laptop crashed so I was without a computer for a few days. But I finally got around to the next few chapters, and I'm so glad you requested. If you hadn't, I don't know how long it would have been before I could get around to the next chapter. So yay! Very glad.

This was a great second chapter. So enjoyable. It continued over well from the first chapter. The atmosphere cleared up and it grew happy and cheerful as the scene progressed.

I love your characterizations. Dominique seems like a great girl. I like how you have portrayed her, and I can see her being good friends with Grace. And then James. Ahh, I love your James, but I love me a good James Potter anywhere. :) He just seems great. Lighthearted, but serious when needed.

Just great overall. :) The flow was just as great in this chapter. Again, I love how you don't take the time to do the dull descriptions. I love how you use the plot to bring them in. That's fantastic. :)

A really great chapter! And I don't know what else to say. :) It's brilliant, dear! I love it. :)

My queue is currently pretty huge, so again, I'm going to empty it out and then I will be back for the rest. But if I'm not back within a few days, come request again, hun! Thanks for bringing me to this story! :)

Author's Response: Oh, don't worry about the wait. Just you getting here is making me happy - sorry about your computer!
It's funny. I was never going for cheerful as I wrote it, but I guess some of it has a light feeling to it still.
Dominique is well, not Grace, but she has some wild sides too, but she's more the voice of reason, much like James. I'm very glad you like this James - I've tried giving him some different history, which will come up, also making him a little different to the rest.
Personally I get bored when there's twenty lines of description of a tree and it's shadow or whatever, so I try not to linger too much. I'm glad you can see that.
Thanks for yet another great review - it's always nice to hear your opinion. I'll be back soon! :D

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Review #9, by Phoenix_Flames Prologue

4th September 2011:
Hey, Vicki, dear! I'm here with your review as requested. :) It's been so long since we've talked. I'm really glad you requested! :)

And I thought this was a brilliant opening chapter! I think you set up a really good scene here and left a lot open for us to wonder about and anticipate in future chapters. In this short chapter, you didn't dwell on giving us dull introductions and etc. You just jumped right into it and just introduced the characterization and personality of Grace as the story went on. As to what James is like, we have yet to see. And I can't wait to find out. :)

Grace seems like a great girl. I can't wait to read more about her. So many next gen OCs are hard to find unique, but I really think you got Grace spot on in the originality field. :)

This was a great opening chapter! You pulled me in and had me very intrigued the entire time. I can't wait to see what's going on in this story. :)

Due to my backed up queue, I'm going to go empty it out and then I will return for the next chapter. However, if I haven't been back in a few days, feel free to come request again! :)

Thanks, Vicki! :)


Author's Response: Thanks very much for taking the time, Drue!
Haha, I don't like 'dull' intros, so therefor I always stay away from them, and I'm glad you found it good. James is... well, he's got his baggage too, though I daresay it's not anythiing compared to Grace.
I'm so very glad you can see that about Grace. I really try, whenever I write next gen, to make everyone different from the usual personalities Next-gens usually are.
Oh, Drue, you always make my day better with your review. Thanks so much for taking the time and thanks for the amazing review!

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Review #10, by ashleym15 Chapter 3

29th July 2011:
i like it:) sounds very mysterious:)

Author's Response: Thank you very much :)

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Review #11, by Gracey Chapter 1

15th January 2011:
Your story intrigued me. At first, it was because of the similarities between names, but as soon as I read the first line I decided to stick it out and keep reading. It was so matter of fact, so, I'm just going to put this out there and let people deal with it. I also love the way you've developed this character: her name is Grace White. Grace meaning saving and White symbolizing purity. Your Grace is none of those things. I can't wait to see what comes next in this amazing story!
There are, however, some typos and grammatical errors. If you need anyone to be your designated editor: I'm here for you. I can give you my email somehow I guess :)

Author's Response: Oh, thanks for the review! Truth be told, I hadn't given thought to her last name, but the first one wasn't an accident ;) I'm glad you noticed.
Yeah, I don't have a beta. If you're up for it, can you contact me through the formus in some way? Mind you, I might be difficult to work with sometimes, but I really would love if you'd help :)

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Review #12, by dream_schmean Prologue

20th December 2010:
Hey there, it's dreamschemes from the forums! Sorry for taking so long, RL just took over. (:

I think this is a really good start! Next Gen, I've noticed, gives the author a long of leeway in terms of a lot of the characters (minus the Weasley's and Potter's) and their personalities. All that I can really say in that matter is that you should make sure that James isn't an exact replica of James I, unless that's what you're trying to do. But judging from the events that took place in this chapter, I think you're on the right track. (:

Hmm, I don't really have much else to say or critique, because this was such a short chapter. I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors, so good job on that. I'm intrigued to read more. (:

Thank you for the request and feel free to re-request!


Author's Response: Thanks for getting back to me! RL takes over for me too, don't worry ;)
Yeah, I recently opened my eyes for that too about the Next Gens, and it seemed like a great place to start when wanting to have a little more control of your story.
I think James is kind of special, truth be told, because in DH we see a person which to me seems a lot like James I, which I did not want to make him, so some things have changed a long with James here, so he's not the same.
Thanks for the review. I'll get back to you! :)

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Review #13, by kaileena_sands Chapter 2

20th December 2010:
Me again!

So. This chapter continues the story nicely. I really wonder what secrets Grace keeps under her smile. I also like that your James Potter II is not a photocopy of James I. He is a nice smart boy (not that the first wasn't, I love him to death :D ), but this approach makes the story different from others.

You also add nice detail to your narrative - like the blue ink being always blue. Keep doing that - it fleshes out the story. And Grace knowing for the test beforehand - also good detail.

All in all, another nice chappie. It really makes the reader want to know more about Grace.

Happy holidays and see you after the queue reopens ;)


Author's Response: Hey, thanks!
Wup. Yeah, Grace has some stuff to deal with, we'll get to that in the upcoming chapters. So does James for that matter - there is a reason he's changed a little to what we saw of him in DH. What we saw seemed - in my opinion - a lot like James I...
Thanks for the review, and sorry it took so long for me to get back to it :)

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Review #14, by kaileena_sands Chapter 1

18th December 2010:
Oookay. I really like how you're setting up things. Grace is believable in my opinion - we often see in life people who look like they have life on a plate before them, but that is just because we don't know them well. Inside, there is more stuff. Because people are like pie ;) And also, James II seems like such a nice boy here. I want to learn more about him.

Aaanyways, I can only encourage you to write more. The story has a fresh feel to it and I think you can make it a great read. Actually, I implore you to tell me when there is another chappie. :)


P.S. Loved the conversation about the guinea pig, good detail ;)

Author's Response: Yes, you definitelly hit the nail; Grace and all her stuff - And there's a lot! Yes, like pie I guess :P Ahh, and James has some stuff too, that we'll get to...
I was going for the fresh feel too - writing something different.
Thank you for another lovely review. They both made my day!

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Review #15, by kaileena_sands Prologue

18th December 2010:
Hey, here is HarleyQuinn from the forums!

I really liked the beginning of this chapter. Grace is very different from the female OCs we usually read about. Your writings style is good and the flow was excellent for a prologue. I'll tell you more after chappie 2.

Kail :)

Author's Response: Thanks for getting back to me so fast! Yes, I wrote Grace, as to be very different. My main focus is trying to make her very different, and give her real depth.
Thanks very much for this lovely review :)

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Review #16, by Insert_Witty_Comment_Here Chapter 1

7th November 2010:
Whoa. That was pretty intense. In the most fabulous of ways, of course.

I can't wait to see more on this! It's a truly stunningly written story. Grace and Jame sboth have me intruiged.



Author's Response: Oh, thanks! Intense is actually the feeling I'm going for with this story.
Thanks a lot, your review's made me smile!

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Review #17, by coolgf Chapter 1

6th November 2010:
This is a really great story.

Author's Response: Thanks a lot!

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Review #18, by liza_potter Prologue

14th September 2010:
Hello, this is lizzacc from the forums with your requested review. Sorry it took me so long to get here, but here I am with a review!

There wasn't any big issues with the grammer. However, I did spot this line:

Even though it was halfway through march, the winter hadn't ended yet. -March needs to be capitalized, as it is a month.

For a prologue, I think this was really well done. It leaves me wanting more, especially with that powerful last line.

I like how Grace doesn't seem to be a Mary Sue. She's popular for all the wrong reasons. I'm not quite sure why James wouldn't want to get involved with her. I suppose I'll see in later chapters.

Overall, a very nice introduction to the story!


Author's Response: It's okay. You got here and left a review. that's what matters to me :P
Oh, yeah, capitalization and overall grammer is not one of my stronger sides. I have gotten a beta though :P
Yeah. I've never written that many prologues, but I wanted to make it work, as I thought a prologue should work. Which was exactly as you describes, leaving the reader wanting to know more :P
Grace is not a... I don't know how to say it. But she's far from perfect. She's gets a lot around, she gets in more trouble than Fred and George probably did, she's a partygirl and doesn't have that much of a brain, and she's complicated. There're so many sides to her. Of course she's sweet, but she's not good for anyone the way she is now :) Hope that cleared it a little more.
Thanks for the review!

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Review #19, by xtinjsc Prologue

6th September 2010:
Hello, Groundswell!

I'm here to fill out your request on my review thread over the forums. I hope you are well. ^_^

This chapter being a prologue, you've done a pretty good job with keeping your OC very interesting indeed! While I was reading the beginning of this, I thought Grace was a Mary Sue (we don't want that, do we?) but then you mentioned that she's very popular for all the wrong reasons, which is good because at least she had some flaws too. She was flighty, wild, possibly rude... but I'm still not sure why James II doesn't want anything to do with her though. Oh, well. As I said this is a prologue, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

For the most part, I enjoyed reading this. As I said, your OC seemed very intriguing, but, to be honest, I was distracted a bit with some of the wonky phrasing and spelling errors. Have you written this in a flash then? Because I seem to have that impression as I read this. I completely understand though. Sometimes, plot ideas just get so ridiculously addicting to write that errors like those I mentioned become the least of my concerns when I type too. I just need to want the ideas down, you know? I supposed that's what happened here? But you said you're planning to get a Beta for this and that's good! This story has really good potential and all it needs is a good thorough editing.

That being said, I hope you won't mind if I wouldn't be as picky on this as I normally do. I will just point out some things that jumped on me. From your summary, I immediately noticed some typos that really bothered me. Remember, your summary is very important and you really want to draw people in with it. A typo can really really hurt your chances of that. You can also improve it a bit. From this: The first memory he had of Grace White was one in the Quidditch changing rooms, har half naked, in his fifth year at Hogwarts. (notice the spelling mistakes?)

You can also write it like this: The first memory he had of Grace White was during his fifth year at Hogwarts, in the Quidditch changing rooms, with her half naked. ---> much more fluid, I think. Just a suggestion. ^_^

Your last sentence was very strong. Good way to end a chapter! It keeps the readers wondering what could've possibly happened between them, which is exactly the reaction you want. This is a nice start for the story, all it needs is a little tweaking. I'm sure your future beta will be able to fix the rough edges up. I can't wait to read more of this, so if you have a new chapter up, feel free to visit my thread again in the future. Keep writing! ^_^

Author's Response: Thanks for getting to me this fast! :D
Oh, I was really trying to make her kind of Mary Sue on the outside, but really underneath it, she's not at all. Maybe I should have made it more clear, but I don't know... James doesn't want to be around her because he knows better. Boys are only around her for short periods of time, she's breaking rules, and she's always flirty, a bit selfish too.
Yes, this was a plotbunny which attacked me while I was at work, but luckily I kept it in my head, but it was written fast because I just wanted to get it all there. So yeah, I know what you're talking abut :P
Oh, yeah... I know I'm not perfect, but I don't expect it of myself either. I'm not English or American, so just writing in English is a challenge for me. But I'm in the working of getting a Beta.
I'm a big sucker for those kind of endings, but sometimes they get a little cliche, you know? So I was a little... you know?, about this one.
Thanks for the very good and fast review, I'll come back when I get the first actual chapter up! :D

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