Reading Reviews for Bad Habits...
  
64 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ladyrae Dress Shopping and Secret Meetings

16th March 2014:
Oh c'mon, you can't leave me with just that!! I don't think she's leaving Hogwarts, but what stands in her way? How does Mattie take it? Does she buy the dress? Please update quickly!!!

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Review #2, by ladyrae Points Points Points

16th March 2014:
So much drama! Can't wait to see the return of Mattie!!! (Fairly upset I'm almost caught up to the latest chapter. Update soon!)

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Review #3, by ladyrae A change of heart

16th March 2014:
Very thrown by the sudden change in Regulus. Reserving judgment on his new attitude. Poor Sirius.

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Review #4, by ladyrae Forbidden Friendship

16th March 2014:
Well that was. crazy. Furious about Regulus, and super curious about what Sirius might do if/when he finds out who hit her. Wonder how she'll get around making friends when her fiancee is stalking her. Another fantastic chapter.

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Review #5, by ladyrae I'm going to save you Charlie...

16th March 2014:
Oh my god, that was heartbreaking!! Poor Charlotte, poor Matt. I know this is really a story about Sirius, and Sirius/Charlotte is your endgame, but I kinda really love the Remus/Charlotte relationship that's developing.

Wondering what's going to happen on Wednesday when she practices on him. Will she find any scary memories?

Also wondering if Charlotte and Bensi might run into Snuffles on a run.

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Review #6, by ladyrae Hell at your Heels

16th March 2014:
Ok, just started reading this fic, and I'm already absolutely in love with it. The idea is so original! It's a bit weird that the site didn't post it because of the topic of arranged marriage, but whatever. I love the characterization of Charlotte and how you've introduced the Marauders. Can't wait to keep reading!

One note, and I could be wrong here and just too lazy to look it up, but isn't her named spelled "Lily"? More updates soon, because I'm sure I'll catch up quickly!!

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Review #7, by Mamta Dress Shopping and Secret Meetings

1st February 2014:
It was a really good chapter! I hope you update soon. Don't like waiting. :(

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Review #8, by Loony lovegood Dress Shopping and Secret Meetings

30th January 2014:
LOOOVE!

More pleaseee

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Review #9, by KailynBryn Dress Shopping and Secret Meetings

28th January 2014:
This is a really great story! I'm so in love with Charlie. :)

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Review #10, by KailynBryn Dress Shopping and Secret Meetings

28th January 2014:
This is a really great story! I'm so in love with Charlie. :)

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Review #11, by Loony lovegood Points Points Points

8th January 2014:
So now I'm addicted. Continue please!!

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Review #12, by oldnumberseven  Hell at your Heels

6th January 2014:
Aw, I love Charlotte's POV! She's quite the character, I like her spunk and weirdness :D This is me being super picky, but if you're looking for honest writing feedback, there are some grammar and punctuation mistakes. But omg, the descriptions were so spot on in this chapter - Lily's analysis of what it takes to become a Marauder was hilarious!

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Review #13, by oldnumberseven  Sorting isn't just for first years.

6th January 2014:
Again, I don't normally like fics that have the main female transfer from somewhere else, but you really flesh out the plot, which makes me love it. Some of your tiny details (like a character's actions or a very creative description) are so vivid!

:D

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Review #14, by oldnumberseven  What could have been...

6th January 2014:
Is it weird to say that I love this fic and I've only read the first chapter? Normally I don't like stories that have the main female character stumble in the Marauders' compartment but I adored your whole train scene because you wrote that she was meant for Sirius instead of Regulus. Ahhh, I love it.

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Review #15, by Etsharry Of Hangovers and Confrontations

18th December 2013:
OMG you actually posted another chapter! Wot Woot! I had though that you had given up on this story :/ But I found Charlotte's interaction with Regulas hysterical and what happened with her and Sirius?! Please update soon

Author's Response: Awww thank you so much for your kind words. I had sort of given up on the story there for a while, but I'm planning on posting at least one more chapter in the near future. Thank you for reading I really appriciate any feedback I get!

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Review #16, by Ashling586 What could have been...

15th February 2012:
I personally don't have a problem with arranged marriages. From what I remember for the JK Rowling world it was common practice among the pureblood families, so it is understandable that some of us would want to write stories about it. But that is just my opinion and it is in the rules for a reason so I guess its for the best. I am glad that you were able to get this chapter and story approved though because I really like what you have so far.
I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get around to your review. I can see that I was missing out by waiting to read this. I actually like stories that center around Sirius, he is my favorite bad boy.
I liked the pace and flow of this chapter. I felt that it was a great chapter.

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Review #17, by ginnypotter242 What could have been...

4th February 2012:
Hello there :) Here I am with your review!

I like your characterization of Sirius. When he was thinking of leaving Hogwarts, and what he thought of Hogwarts, it was really interesting. I hadn't seen his mind in that way before, but the way you said made me think-that's probably what Sirius felt like.

Regulus was characterized well too. The arrogant, aristrocrat nature that he had grown up in fit his tone- from what little we heard of him. Snape too seemed, good. Just one thing- Snape was in the Marauder's year, so he would be a 7th year this story. When he was talking to Reg, he said after *we* graduate, it should be after *you* graduate, since Snape will graduate before Regulus.

The plot seems interesting, and I like Charlotte. I'd like a little more description, I hope there will be some in other chapters :) It's orginal, whereas I have seen Sirius/OC/Regulus before, I haven't seen it like this. Very unique, that's always good :)

Great job! 8/10

~Sara (puppyluv242)

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Review #18, by kirstenalanna What could have been...

4th February 2012:
kirstenalanna from the forum with your requested review!

Okay, I've read stories like this before and it read to be a little predictable. Also, when you switched to Regulas' dialogue, it was a fragmented switch. I didn't know if it was telling the story more from Regulas' side or if those in the compartment were overhearing or what was going on. You should probably clarify that.

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Review #19, by potterhead444 Say Something

26th December 2011:
such an interesting concept, loving the story so far. can't wait for the next chapter! :)

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Review #20, by BROKENwords453 Trouble

21st December 2011:
So far I do like the story, but just a few spellings mistakes that stood out. In chapter one you used exentric which is actually spelled eccentric, adu is ado and you're using the wrong type of heal. For the one at the bottom of your foot it's heel. Just thought you'd like to know. Keep updating though and I'll keep reading. :D

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Review #21, by Kenzie Black Sleepless Walking

4th April 2011:
This is really good! UPDATE SOON PLEASEEE? Wonderful work. Really.

By the way in your storys there's this weird number popping up i'm not sure if it's part of the story or not but if it isn't i would take a look at it. If it is author note explaing please. By the way the number is 007 or 077. It's not in this chapter but it is in quite of the other ones. Besides that though it's a great story!

Kenzie Black(:

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, but I do have a chapter 9 written and after a quick edit I'll post, promise!

Oh and just to clarify '007' Is a nickname that my main character has given to Severous Snape. Maybe I didn't make that very clear, I'll have to go back and maybe edit my earlier chapters.

Thanks for reading!


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Review #22, by Pen2Paper What could have been...

15th March 2011:
Hey this is Pen2Paper from forums with your long overdue review! So sorry but time has been a difficult thing to manage.
So you asked on my thread to review some of your later chapters and haven't replied to the post asking which ones. Therefore I made the decision to start at the start simply cos it might be easier to follow the story. :) :)

Now onto your review. I must say most first chapters are not very well executed, some lack in aspects such as emotion, pace, settings, clarity, plot production and detail. Congratulations! This was one first chapter I thought was exceptionally well done! :) :)

The Advice:
I would suggest going over the chapter a few times or getting a beta because there are a few grammatical errors that once fixed will add remarkable standard to your story. Reading aloud might help too.

You've done a great job giving your characters voice. Each of them clearly identify with the character. But also remember to give them physicality too.

From what stood out in the chapter all I recognised was that Charlotte (lovely choice of name by the way) is brunette. Create her! Is she tall or short? Her eyes, how she talks, how she folds her arms when she sits down on the floor, how she picks her flowing/curly/straight hair as she talked about her family's expectations. These details are very essential to a reader who cannot "see" your imagination except with your words. This is how they are able to visualise what you try to project in your writing... You already have a good measure of detail going on in the chapter, don't hold back when it comes to the characters.

Same applies for canon characters. We all know them from the books but simply because of it their appearances should not be ignored. Show the readers what the Marauders look in your mind. If not in this chapter, at least in the coming ones.

The Applause:

It's very nice that your summary was short and catching! I really liked the fact that you didn't delay the story too long, short lovely introduction and then nice progression into the story itself. Nicely done!

The introduction of Peter was exceptionally well done. It's excellent that you decided to not overlook the character. It's a very good plus indeed. I know how hard it is to deliver the right kind of humour at the right moment so you have done a lovely job with Peters stuttering and the awkward pause before "Remus?" I laughed out loud just picturing that! Well done.

Overall this was a great chapter, there are many small things that you can improve on anc which once done will add great flavour to the chapter. You've made a great start to a very promising marauder story. Hope you keep up the good work!


9/10 Well done :) Great effort :)

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Review #23, by lilylove Sleepless Walking

28th February 2011:
wright more! Chapter 9 baby!

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Review #24, by kaileena_sands I'm going to save you Charlie...

8th February 2011:
It's good that in this chapter we learn a bit more about Charlotte and her past. :) I also liked her interaction with Remus, it was a strong point of the chapter.

Now, just another suggestion - you often switch tenses in your story - past to present when writing. You should pay attention to that when editing since it's distracting. :) Otherwise, I think that your story is going really well. Keep writing!

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Review #25, by kaileena_sands Hell at your Heels

8th February 2011:
Hey! So sorry for the terrible delay in this reviews. :( Anyways, here I go. Since I already told you about spelling mistakes, let me talk about a few more things here.

I really like Charlotte. Up to now she seems like a wonderful well-rounded character. :)

The plot is also entertaining and keeps the reader interested. On the downside, I think that a problem you may run into is cliches. You kind of use a lot of them in this chapter - Sirius being paired with the OC, the nasty girl in the girls dormitory. While this is not bad per se, I think it would be good to try to stay away from using a lot of them in order to distinguish your story from the others. :)

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