Poor Remus it's okay I love you still :D Report Review
I thought I would love this story when I read the summary but Amilia is a boring Mary-Sue. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with such a predictable plot but seriously...she's Moody's little sister (even though he is MUCH older than the Marauders), she comes to Hogwarts and IMMEDIATLEY becomes friends with Lily (who has a convenient lack of other friends).
Additionally James instantly trusts her because somehow she magically sees his devotion to Lily and he knows that, despite the fact she's only known Lily for less than a week, she will be able to convince her of his undying love. In addition to all of that she deliberatly provokes Sirius because she "gets a bad feeling from him", yells at him when he takes the punishment for her and then starts to cry when he replies to her taunts about his family in kind, forcing him to recognize how utterly wonderful she is. Her special talents at being able to read people only add to her annoying personality.
Finally, at the end of knowing the Marauders for a grand total of...THREE DAYS...she discovers their secret, which Dumbledore (one of the most omnipotent wizards ever) could not. Sorry if this seems a bit unbelievable to me.
I honestly do not mind reading the same storyline again and again as long as its well written and believable. You are rushing the story so much it is getting on my nerves and I'm not willing to wait for it to get better. Your heroine is a whiny, self-centered girl who is so overly virtuous that she makes the story implausible. It is people's faults which makes them interesting and by writing such a one-sided character your limiting ways to explore the story without taking her out of character.
This is in no way meant to be a flame. I hope you see why I have chosen to stop reading this story, which I very rarely do. It is simply because I'm getting more annoyance over Amilia than enjoyment out of the story.Author's Response: Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. :)
And it's never really said how old Alastor was. He was, what, roughly in his 50's when Sirius died at 36? So, yeah, he's much older, but why is that a problem? My aunt has a 26 year old and 5 year old. So? O.o
Yeah, though, I do agree with you about Lily conveniently not having other friends... I didn't really think about that. o.o
"...somehow she magically sees his devotion to Lily and he knows that, despite the fact she's only known Lily for less than a week, she will be able to convince her of his undying love." I based that characteristic off of me. I can just tell (in person) certain things about people and it causes me to gain friends easily and become close with people very quickly. Actually, before I even met one of my friends, let's call him Bob, I could tell he liked my best friend, let's call her Sue, though I kept telling her that he liked her, she dismissed it. Well, he finally asked her out last week. :) I can just tell certain things and so can Amilia.
As for her figuring out the Marauders secret when Dumbledore couldn't; do you actually know if Dumbledore was even really trying to figure out their secret? Yeah, he knew SOMETHING was going on, but I think he was a bit preoccupied with Voldy and a war and watching over an entire school to really pay attention to clues about what the Marauders were up to, while Amilia was picking up on hints and clues, thus figuring it out quickly.
Hey, I don't mind if you don't like or read my story, honestly I don't, because there are many more people who like it. :)
Amilia, whiny? Maybe... I'll read over the story.
Self-centered? Definitely not. How is she self-centered? All she cares about is her friends. I think we have different definitions of what self-centered is. >.>
Overly virtuous? Again, how so?
"It is people's faults which makes them interesting" ahahaha, all you did was point out Amilia's faults!! So, is she interesting or a "Mary-Sue"? Please make up your mind. :/
I'm honestly not mad about how you feel, just confused and I honestly want you to reply to this response...
Well, thanks for at least trying to read my story :)
I'm sorry you didn't like it. :/
I'm dying! Just as I said I would! I love how childish Sirius can be it's adorable ^-^ Although them liking each other came a bit out of the blue there.Author's Response: "I love how childish Sirius can be it's adorable ^-^"
Ahahaha thanks!! X3
And the out of the blue emotions will be explained soon. :)
Thanks for ready and reviewing :) Report Review
You have 26 written but only 7 posted? D: I'm going to die a terrible death when I reach chapter 7 and have to wait though! I really love you character she's defnitly witty :DAuthor's Response: I'm sorry I haven't updated in a very long while DX
I just posted the next chapter but it need validation. :/
"I really love you character she's defnitly witty :D"
Thank you!! :D Report Review
I love what Amelia is doing..to get James and Lily together. Great second chapter!Author's Response: :) Thanks!! Report Review
I love your first chapter! Can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Thank you so much :D Report Review
I like it so far keep writing I'll be reading :)Author's Response: I guess I'll keep writing :) Report Review
nice job. i like amilia :) very interestingAuthor's Response: :D My first review!! Ahaha, thanks!! Report Review
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