Really cool and creepy chapter.
But the timing in it is a bit jumpy, like the sentence about the guess being invited to her funeral, it might be better to end to chapter with it. It would give it a final-tone to it, and it wouldn't be a bit random, like it is now- as one line your talking about her funeral, then it says that it's her funeral and then it talks about just a normal day. Do you get me?
Hope you continue writing.
ps who was the girl who fell? Because, from what I got, Daphne killed herself. right? Report Review
Wow, you have a serious skill with creepy, and I mean that in the most complimentary way. A really intriguing start, I love the way it was written in a sort of quietly ominous tone, with the big splash in the end. Report Review
Hmmm...very interesting story! Though I'm a bit confused---how did Daphne die? By falling down the tower when the school was burning or by swallowing toxins? Report Review
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