Oh my god, feelings overload. I like how the characters were ambiguous from the start, although you could make some guesses. And then the end (the end!) when all Rose wanted was for Scorpius to hold her hand... gah. But it was written stunningly, so. Report Review
omg! I felt tears in my eyes when I finished this! I LOVED it! I love it when it says "You loved her like she was me" and "You never held my hand.
You said that it was too clichéd."
I loved it! Keep writing stories like these! :) Report Review
Darn it, how can you make someone so so so touchy, I mean seriously, this just made my heart go all soft and buttery inside!!
Love it :)
Cheers:DAuthor's Response: why thank you, i'm glad you thought it was (:
er, i don't know how i did it. i guess i was feeling particularly inspired that day and it just blurted out. which isn't much help to anyone. and awwh, that's the first time someone's described their reaction to one of my stories as 'buttery'. made me grin SO MUCH.
thank YOU for leaving me such a sweet, lovely review! ^^ Report Review
OMG.!! I'm BAWLING RIGHT NOW!!! IT WAS SOO SAD YET I LOVED IT!! I DON'T HATE DOMINIQUE OR SCORPIUS CAUSE IT WAS PROBABLY TRUE LOVE UT I STILL BELIEVE HE SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST BROKE UP WITH ROSE TO STOP HER FROM HURTING MORE. I FELT SORRY FOR ROSE THOUGH SHE HAD A LOT OF COURAGE TO WALK AWAY FROM HIM WHEN HE SAW THEM AT THE PARK BUT WAS A LITTLE COWARDLY OF HER TO NOT TELL THEM AT FIRST BUT ALL IN ALL I LOVED IT!!! :))Author's Response: CALM DOWN PLEASE.
i am so glad you were moved so much by it. although i didn't intend for you to bawl so much. i was aiming more for crying on the inside, so sorry! :)
i'm glad you don't dislike Dom or Scorp (yeh, we're tight. nicknames and all). this is all from Rose's POV so there's no reason why you shouldn't hate Scorpius as he has no chance to explain himself. but you're right not to hate him. Rose was clingy. Rose was possessive. Rose was flawed, just like everyone, and it got too much for him.
he didn't break up with her because he found it too hard. she was his first love, she was Dominique's cousin and hurting her would have been the last thing he wanted. so he kept quiet and tried to stop it from spiralling, only Rose knew him too well and it all fell apart.
Rose was frightened of losing him. she loved him for his flaws, even if one of those flaws was Dominique. she preferred to pretend that she was oblivious because she got to pretend Scorpius was all hers. only, obviously, it didn't work very well.
Rose was no Gryffindor - she was a Hufflepuff and she was afraid of a lot of things. she was lacking in courage and so she kept what she wanted and avoided what she was scared of.
i'm glad you liked it! and i'm sorry i got all philosphical and deep up there^ but let's just say i'm feeling a little bit inspired for once! thanks for reviewing and again, i'm sorry for making you cry! ^^ Report Review
I loveit! Its kinda heartbreaking, but really good. Thanks for writing it! I love oneshots.Author's Response: awwh, i'm so happy you liked it, even if it IS really sad. I'm not particularly happy with this oneshot, but hey, if you like it, i might leave off editing it for a little while!
thanks for taking the time to leave a review, it's much appreciated! ^^ Report Review
This is amazing! It brought me to tears. The writing just made the story even more amazing. I felt so bad for Rose. I loved this story!Author's Response: Well, I'd apologise for making you cry - but I'm half-sorta-maybe glad that I did, because it means the story worked! :D
I'm glad you liked the writing, and I felt bad for Rose too! I'm so mean to my characters sometimes :(
Thank you for such a lovely review, and I'm glad you enjoyed this little one shot so much! ^^ Report Review
i am sobing!!!such a sad story!Author's Response: ...that's a good thing, I think? It means that I wrote it alright, mm?
Thanks for reviewing! ^^ Report Review
Seems like only 'tragic' stories are abounding these days - nicely written, but - oh well, it's sad.Author's Response: Well, there are several tragic stories, I'll admit, but there's also a LOT of comedy...they're both so much more interesting to write :)
It's a good thing you found it sad...I think :P And I'm glad you thought it was nicely written!
Thanks for reviewing! ^^ Report Review
I found it incredibly ironic that the physical closeness she wanted to feel towards Scorpius she never really got even in the end. I also felt Rose was almost speaking in 3rd person, observing her relationship with Scorpius as if internally she was already dying. Then the car hitting seemed more like a punctuation to what she was already feeling. I really enjoyed this little one-shot since it is open to interpretation.Author's Response: Awh, that's such a wise insight into it! I was hoping for Rose to appear quite detached from the situation, and I'm glad you picked up on it - I know it wasn't obvious :)
Thanks for such a lovely little review! ^^ Report Review
woah - i didn't expect it to end like that! but i liked it, and i like how you purposefully left out whether he held her hand or not (or am i missing something?). poor rose! how sad a way to end the story. . .
i love the repetition you had of the two lines "i never saw [whatever she was talking about] happen. but it happened anyway." it was an especially strong way to end the story.
i think it would be a bit clearer if you included quotation marks around the parts where rose and scorpius speak; it just looks better.
"Don’t worry, you said to me. I’ll always love you. And I’ll always be here for you.
But I believed you."
i find this to be contradicting. right above, rose had said how she knew that he didn't love her, otherwise he wouldn't have cheated on her. i'd suggest taking one part out/rewriting it so that it's clearer to the reader.
"I would dream of the past, when we used to throw each other glares that were as heavy as stones, that hurt like you’d thrown a stone at me too."
the ending of this sentence is confusing, i had to read it over a few times before i understood it. maybe use a semi-colon instead and replace 'that' by 'they'.
"Why is everything I do wrong for him?"
i understand how rose feels about scorpius, and about him and dominique, but this sentence really bothered me. she's upset over his obviously happier reaction towards dominique, but i feel like it's something you'd find in twilight that bella would be saying. bleh. it makes me dislike rose's character rather than sympathize with her.
but overall i thought your story flowed very well. i love the effect you created by leaving so many parts open (the ending, the gray eyed man, the blonde cousin). thank you for the enjoyable read!:)Author's Response: Wow, thank you for such a brilliant review! I'm so happy to log in and see such long reviews for me to answer!
I'm glad you found it sad - it was, of course, meant to be, and I'm also glad you told me which parts to edit/rewrite.
I suppose it does sound a little Twilight-ish, and I'm sorry if it made you dislike Rose. I'm glad you pointed that out; I'll definitely be editing that out at some point! :)
I'm so happy you enjoyed the story! Yay! Thanks for the review and reading! ^^ Report Review
I read this not really knowing what to suspect or if I would even like it. I absolutely adore Dom/Scorpius, but I also like Rose/Scorpius, and I hate to see feuding cousins.
However, I loved this story.
I could relate to Rose. I would probably end up being the one in her position (I can see that happening clearly in my head), and it would be so heartbreaking to love someone who clearly didn't love you back.
Yet as my mother said, one person is usually crazier about one person than the other in relationships.
I would hate to say that this was realistic, but I really think it is. Cheating happens (as much I hate it), and it would be terrible dealing with the aftermath of such a situation.
Especially with it being one's own cousin.
The characterizations were lovely. I absolutely adored Rose, I couldn't like or dislike Scorpius, and I couldn't hate Dom despite my abhorrence of what she was doing.
As far as the flow and descriptions go, those were quite charming, as well. I adored them.
I liked the way the story turned full circle. It all fit in together neatly, and nothing seemed out of place.
As far as spelling and grammar go, I didn't pick up on anything that needed sorted, so kudos there. I always appreciate pieces with that polished look.
LindersAuthor's Response: Wow, such a lovely long review to reply to! ^^
I'm not such a big fan of Rose/Scorpius or Rose/Dominique myself, so I wrote this in part to try and prove how they might make a couple, and it really convinced me that they might actually be an alright couple.
Ah, this story was easy to write because I could so clearly see MYSELF in the position of Rose, and writing her thoughts down felt nearly natural, you know? I share some of her insecurities on how much Scorpius loves her, and it made it so much easier :/
I have been toying with the idea of writing a companion piece to this from Scorpius' (or Dom's) POV in which the aftermath could be dealt with, or just to explore what they were thinking - Dom and Rose being cousins might make it even more interesting :)
I'm glad you liked Rose! I felt so sorry for making her go through this, so I automatically loved her, and I'm glad you picked up on not hating Scorpius or Dom - I really didn't want Rose to die feeling bitter.
Phew, no grammar errors! I absolutely hate finding grammar/punctuation errors in work, so I'm happy that you didn't find any!
Thanks for the lovely long review! ^^ Report Review
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