Reading Reviews for Hey Lucy
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by justonemorefic Enchanted

30th December 2012:
I love that Lucy tells him that he shouldn't regret going elsewhere. Because we got a glimpse of how Lucy wouldn't have waited - that she would have lived her own life - from Lorcan. But here, we also get the reverse for Lorcan. They've grown apart, but they've grown older and they're together now, and there's still time left :D

Then, I thought perhaps it would take me close to you. But in the end I chose something I knew wouldn’t. I looove that Lucy did this, just because it tells me so much about how she's grown. And it seems everyone has, no? And it's time for Lorcan to learn the hard lessons too! But I can understand Lucy wanting more - sometimes you just have to get away from home.

Unrelated: Dom wanted to be a dragon too I AM LIKE DOM. Dragons are the best.

And it looks like Lorcan needed to escape from home too - find a way to make it out on his own.

It's not how it was supposed to go BUT IT WAS EVEN BETTER! Bahaha, Lorcan is such a silly romantic even to the end. But I think he sees now ;D Things have changed, but he'll get used to it, and eee he got the girl. Well, they've got each other. Heart melted at that confession.

It's been such a cute read for the holidays! ♥ Hope you have a good one, and a happy new year!

Author's Response: GINA ♥ ♥ ♥
Oh God I can't believe it's taken me a year to respond. THANK YOU
You are so kind :)
I love that you like this. And that you get it. I'm always afraid I'm the only one who's going to get it when I write something.
DRAGONS
srsly, we should all be dragons.

Lorcan is a hopeless romantic. I daresay he probably goes on to live the rest of his life in this ridiculous manner completely un-befitting an otherwise reasonable person. But it's sort of adorable.

I like to think I left it at the most fluffy place possible but I do think that had I continued, it wouldn't have so neatly tied up as it appeared. After all, Lorcan has to now go on and actually get the girl :)

xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #2, by justonemorefic Half Timing, Half Luck

30th December 2012:
See, that wasn't so hard Lorcan. Now you're making small talk. Seven years! I think that makes it all the more interesting to be able to see how they changed and how they might still be a good fit for each other c: it's obvious that Lucy's still a wee bit interested to see if Lorcan's gotten better with age. She even took up that job to see if she'd cross paths!

Really thinking about it, it must be difficult for people in foreign work to see each other, doubly worse for both of them :0 maybe they can find a way to work together.

When I tried to explain it to James, he kept asking me if I was a spy. James is the greatest.

Lorcan isn't the most subtle, is he? He's kind of adorable that way. But also very silly. Lysander's advice - ah I love a bromance between actual bros too - is actually helpful, unlike some of James' (as much as I love him).

It's true though, there's such a tendency to romanticize the past, and we do it for pretty much everything. And thinking that the grass is greener over the hill. That end bit is my favorite part of the chapter: “She left me, Lori. Four years ago. Packed up everything one day and just left. And it was my fault. I took her for granted. Figured that we had always been together and always would be." because it's heartbreaking but also hopeful because it worked out in the end. It's great advice for Lorcan: But that something is just an old memory now. You have to start something new. So don’t sit around just waiting for things to fall into place I can see how they're twins, but they're so different too, and I like that you keep the characterizations distinct.

One last onwards!

Author's Response: Lorcan just overthinks everything. It's his biggest fault, I think.
I couldn't resist putting in that bit about Lucy's job.

The scene between Lorcan and Lysander is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE. I'm a twin myself so I can bit a bit crazed about making sure twins have different characterizations. And this just makes sense. You can only really have one hopeless romantic, one of them has to be different and Lysander is. The one who nearly ruined his own relationship for want of sensitivity. Lorcan never would have done that but I think without Lysander's experience he may never have had his happy ending.

James. I just love James.

xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #3, by justonemorefic My Foolish Heart

30th December 2012:
AHA I love the switcheroo. I totally understand him when it comes to these moments: He had pictured their reunion so many times it was bordering on the ridiculous. It changed just a little each time, but the theme remained the same except usually I get it for boring things like interviews or raising my hand in lecture. HE IS SUCH A SILLY ROMANTIC. I just want to pinch. his. cheeks.

And Lucy's actual reaction is perf ahaaa. Of course I remember you Lorcan. How could I forget? Even if I did, you look just like your brother and I’d have known you right off. Before, I hesitated on forming an opinion of her, because I didn't know if she was romanticized by Lorcan (she most definitely is), but I love this real Lucy.

Poor thing: where he found the company of a glass of champagne and a bowl of peanuts. He didn’t particularly like peanuts. Best.

WHO IS THAT MAN? Well it's not James because here comes James. Ahh, you are such a... such a Potter. I love weddings in fic. They always seem like such a great bash, especially in the Weasley clan with everyone there.

Was a bit surprised I must say when you rode off into the eternal sunset, so to speak, and never even asked her out once. OMG NO WONDER, YOU SILLY BOY. Oh Lorcan, just say you're a spy. Say you're a spy and then charge onto the dance floor and sweep her off her feet. James has got it right!

“James, you’re drunk.”/“Sloshed, actually." See? Brill.

Oooh Declan sounds absolutely dashing. AND IT'S HIS BROTHER WHO IS CHARMING LUCY. Nooo, go away Declan's brother. Yess, Molly's urging you too, Lorcan! Now is not the time to be bashful. You've gotten wise and experienced doing foreign overseas work. You can ask a girl to dance. (oop, there's a typo, Blok e -> bloke)

AAAND HE ASKED HER! -fistpump- c: Onwards, a second time! It's been fun to see how everyone changed!

Author's Response: This has got to be about the third time I've read this review and every time it's just *melt*. you make me blush!

Lorcan is ridiculous and he takes romanticizing things to the absolute extreme. I think it's why I like him. Lucy, on the other hand, is so sweet and practical. I think she wants to be a romantic but can't help that she's her father's daughter.

Peanuts. Bleurgh. I hate them.

Writing James' scene was probably my favorite. I imagine he's rather like his grandfather. I've always pictured him that way and I love both James' so he always comes across as silly and awesome.

Declan is a dear. Eventually I'll tell his and Molly's story. If I ever get around to revising it.

That bloke. I just couldn't imagine Lorcan referring to him as anything but some sort of misplaced bit of irritating personage.

I'm rather fond of that last line ♥

xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #4, by justonemorefic Can't Help Myself

30th December 2012:
-dons santa/new year's hat. And I'm back with more reviews!

There's a romantic here! Daww, and there is really nothing more romantic than a numb arm. Arms do make the best pillows. I like the summer love, cute but fleeting, the stuff you think about in quiet moments like Lorcan.

I love the paragraph that starts with Oh Lucy, can you have forgotten? I lived that summer for you. It's lyrical -- a bit of a poetic beat to it -- and I got the best image of her with her eyes and crown.

And I like the repetition of yellow and blue. I can see why you chose those colors; they're so youthful and summery - like the sun and sky - and how perfect for Lucy with her blonde hair and blue eyes. Like a burst of energy too.

Timeshift! Older!Lorcan eee. Muttering things aloud at a wedding, heheh. His eyes were locked on the one person not looking at him. Not that anyone else was anyway, really, but hell, it sure felt like it. Such a silly boy. He's already charmed my heart.

Waah, and they meet again at last! Tricksy, you, ending on that line!

Onwards!

Author's Response: You leave such amazing reviews I just don't deserve you ♥

Originally I wrote that beginning as a one-shot. And then Lorcan demanded I actually give him the chance to go back and get the girl. I kindly acquiesced, being the overly generous author I am. Then I made him wait two years.

I'm so glad you liked the style! I was really going for the poetic type flow because that's how Lorcan thinks. Embarrassing for him but rather nice for me.

HAHA I couldn't help myself, I just had to end it that way. :)

Thank you so much for such a beautiful review.

xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #5, by Aphrodite Pheleyus Enchanted

25th November 2012:
OH MY LIFE WHY. ITS SO FLUFFY AND MY SOUL. IT HURTS.

Ugh that was such a good ending and it was all really fluffy in the middle and then Lorcan was being Lorcan-ish and wanting to prove himself even though he never needed to in the first place.

Still, I'm glad that it feels that there's a genuine feeling of no regret because the things we do, the choices we make, the way things happen that are not in our control affect us and make us who we are and even if we don't particularly like the person we are its better than being something unknown because then we could just be anybody and we're not - that's the point. We are ourselves and that's beautiful and in a subtle way that's what Lorcan shares with us.

And while there's a pause to this story that are the characters they can never really have an end. Its just the continuance of their story - a new chapter unfurled and tons of grief and happiness to come.

I love Lucy being so honest with Lorcan, too, because really - what is left to hide after all they've gone through? No false pretences can be put up, no lies to fabricate - just them.

Blah all the feels. Its so great.
This has been beautiful.

Aphrodite. ♥

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this! Totally made my day to see four such awesome reviews waiting for me. ♥ I'm happy you liked it. This story is one that I really quite like, so I'm glad others do to.

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Review #6, by Aphrodite Pheleyus Half Timing, Half Luck

25th November 2012:
dsfjdsfiusdf aw harsh reality comes crashing down at the worst of times when we all think so ridiculously optimistic. Or fantasize, rather.

So I liked what you did with this chapter - a pinch of realism and making things just that little bit harder and tense. I think its really important you had Lysander there to have that conversation because his words are applicable to most situations and is a reminder - especially to teenage girls - that the fantasy of a love story isn't going to suddenly come about. What happens in your imagination is going to stay there and you have to go and work on yourself and on the situation you need to deal with.

So, yeah, this was a good chapter. :)

There were a fair few typos in this, but nothing too taxing and you'd be able to spot them if you gave this a quick read-over!

One thing however:

"Er - oh. Um, you know. Working."

^that line sort of floated out of nowhere in the context it was in - meaning that there was no other speech for Lorcan to reply to. You must have missed out that small bit.

Its almost over. :(

Aphrodite.

Author's Response: AAAH! Thanks for pointing those out. At some point I really do need to go through and do some little edits for things like that.

Lysander is the realist. I pulled a lot about Lysander and Lorcan from my relationship with my sister. We're not quite so dual as these two, but we definitely have very different personalities. I'm more emotionally controlled, but I'm also the flighty, spontaneous one. While my sister bottles and explodes and hates change. So I took the same idea and applied it to these twins. Also, some of that came from a conversation I had with a friend of mine, who, like Lorcan, just kind of expected things with her boyfriend to just fall into place because it was 'fate'.

So yes, lots of things from my own life went into creating this chapter.


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Review #7, by Aphrodite Pheleyus My Foolish Heart

25th November 2012:
Second chapters, in general, disappoint me. Mostly because they're very filler-ish and not relevent and... are, frankly, boring.

I guess it may have something to do with the fact that this is indeed a short story, but you have surpassed my expectations for a second chapter.

A lot more information is given, there are humorous moments, authentic conversation and lots of cute stuff going on. I particular like your Rolf/Luna moment because you don't imagine anyone saying that to Luna and it made her and her marriage more human and relateable. You have very nice personal touches here. :)

You also have an affinity for perfect last lines that really stick with the reader a while after they've been read.

You're doing so great and I'm already sad that there's only two more chapters left!

Aphrodite.

Author's Response: I know what you mean! Second chapters are hard. But if memory serves, this one actually came out fairly quickly for me. It was the third that I agonized over.
I adore Luna, she's one of my favourite characters and I can just imagine what sort of person her husband must be. I can't see there being two people quite so batty in one marriage! And I always imagined Lorcan being more like her than his dad. I just love Lorcan.

Thanks for another great review!


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Review #8, by Aphrodite Pheleyus Can't Help Myself

25th November 2012:
sajkfhdsakfhaeufhas

So that's all I can physically feel right now considering I've been turned into goo after reading this. It was so perfect that i have no words on how to even begin telling you how perfect and beautiful it is.

Honestly, the monologue and the intense imagery at the beginning made my soul soften so painfully that I felt a horrible sadness as I knew that this beautiful reverie of living in that moment with beautiful images in my head would have to end.

And then as if that wasn't enough you tacked on this little bit about a bride and a man and oh its so hard not to leave this review and just click on the next chapter but i know that i'll only finish it and favourite it and won't review and that isnt good.

and softer than the hair of kitten. - missing word, a.
I spent all my time moving in as tiny of movements as I could manage - here, this sounds particularly awkward and distracted me a little.

other than those two I think its fine, but then you may want to have someone check it over for you or edit yourself seeing as you may not have looked at this chapter for a while (I just spotted when this was first published!).

Gah this is an amazing first chapter.

Aphrodite.

Author's Response: Holy cow! What an awesome review :) Thanks so much for reviewing as you read.
And yes - it's been awhile since I looked at the first chapter. They probably all need some minor edits like that. I tend to miss those things when I'm posting.

Glad you liked it!


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Review #9, by celticbard Half Timing, Half Luck

23rd December 2010:
Wow! So Lorcan isn't just overly sensitive, he's delusion. At least, that's my take on things. He seems to have very unrealistic expectations of Lucy and clearly, he idolizes her. Unfortunately, I think his notion of her flawless nature is going to come crashing down. Right now, he has her on a pedestal and if their relationship is ever going to work, he is going to have to realize that she isn't perfect.

I liked the fact that Lysander was the more grounded of the twins. He was able to give Lorcan the proverbial smack upside the head he needed.

As for Lucy, I can't wait to see more of her character. She really seems like an interesting young woman and I'm curious as to just why she followed Lorcan into the field of International diplomacy. It makes me think that he might have had a greater influence on her than she initially lets on.

This was another well-written chapter, Shiloh, a few typos here and there, but nothing that can't be fixed with a quick once-over. Please do update soon! I'm eager to see just what Lorcan has in mind now that his brother has set him straight. Until then, take care!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Haha, delusional. That's good. I like that. He is, a bit. He over-romanticizes everything and it almost ruins things for him. Without Lysander's advice I don't know that he would ever have gotten his act together.
The scene between the brothers was my favorite to write, definitely. Lysander was the typical wild-child and now he's the one who has to give the situation perspective. I love how grown up he is and how he guides his rather ridiculous brother to a realistic conclusion.

Lucy is so practical and adorable. She's the perfect fit for Lorcan, really.

xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #10, by celticbard My Foolish Heart

23rd December 2010:
Hi Shiloh!
I'm back for chapter two. This was a nice follow-up to the previous installment. We got to see more of Lorcan, along with Lucy and some of the other Next-Gen clan. I liked the fact that James has his father's sense of nonchalant humor. Although he was a bit oblivious, I didn't find him at all obnoxious, but rather good-natured. Molly was also cute, very sweet, understanding and intuitive.

As for Lorcan, I have to say, his perceptions are very feminine. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you, I just think it makes him very gentle and sensitive. He's not robust like James and I do feel as though he's almost aloof, which is a really fabulous trait when done right. And you, my dear, have done it perfectly. ^_^

There were a few minor errors in this chapter. At the end, you switched POVs briefly from Lorcan to Molly. And the fact that Lorcan reiterates his job description to Molly seemed somewhat repetitive to me, although I understand you wanted to allow Molly to introduce the fact that Lucy works for the same department. Otherwise, this was a very enjoyable chapter. Onto the next!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Haha, Lorcan is a bit feminine in how he sees things.
James was probably my favorite part to write. I'm rather fond of him and I just love to make him silly, but so kind at heart.

I did go back and edit a few things you mentioned. I appreciate you taking the time to point them out!

Thank you so much for another lovely review
xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #11, by celticbard Can't Help Myself

23rd December 2010:
Hi Shiloh!
Haha, I certainly know how you feel about starting a new WIP, I'm the same way myself. However, I must say, I think this story is well worth the effort. I really like this opening chapter. Lorcan seems like such a sensitive young man and yet, there is something cavalier in him, just in the way he says "Hey Lucy".

I also loved how the first scene kept making references to loss, the loss her scent, the loss of the feel of her hair on his skin. All those little foreshadowing elements really paid off when it came to the second scene. No wonder why Lorcan is experiencing a sense of loss, the love of his life is with another man!

And although there is an undercurrent of angst in this chapter, the emotion wasn't entirely overwhelming, which I think works well for this type of fic.

Needless to say, I'm glad I read this. The writing was strong and quite enjoyable. Great job!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am so happy to hear when someone likes a new project.

I'm so glad you liked the first chapter. I started writing this as a one-shot and then Lorcan came along and demanded I let him get the girl, so it became a short story :) I'm fond of this piece and I am so glad you like it.

Thank you for the review!
xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #12, by _Leo_ Half Timing, Half Luck

13th December 2010:
I love this story so far! Well-written and original.
And 'Double-oh-Potter', your James is hilarious :D
Thank you for writing it!

Author's Response: Thanks so much :)

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Review #13, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme My Foolish Heart

23rd October 2010:
Phew. That was a horribly open-ended end to the last chapter but I'm terribly glad that Lucy wasn't the bride. I also hope that was purposely ambiguous and that I've not just missed something crucial...

Anyway, another short review, I think. Better than nothing, right? I think it's amazing how much your writing has improved. I don't mean between these two chapters but in general. It flows so much better, so much more naturally than the last thing I read from you [last WIP anyway - you have some truly gorgeous one-shots around]. It's completely amazing, really, and reading your writing is so enjoyable.

I adore Lorcan. Actually adore him. He's very cute, very lovely, very sweet and I want to squish him. I love how you brought in the minor characters: James, Molly, Declan, Luna [who you dealt with stunningly, might I add]. They were all very well defined, even if we only saw them fleetingly. They all mesh so well within the story.

Stopping now because I'm quite ashamed of the dodginess of these reviews. Just know that I think this is a brilliant start to what is a wonderfully intriguing, cute and well-written story.


xx

Author's Response: Hahaha, no you didn't miss anything crucial :P

THANK YOU! What a compliment :D My writing has changed a lot, especially since TGS began, and I've been working very hard to improve. And actually spending time editing things. I'm glad you enjoyed it and can see the change :D

Ah, Lorcan. He is very adorable and squishable. I just have this picture of him being the sort that always imagines happy endings and believes in true love and is sometimes a bit silly but cute, and I hope that's coming across through this story. I adore him.

I love minor characters! Especially when, like in this story, they have cropped up somewhere else and were major characters. Only, I'm the only who knows who they are, seeing as how they haven't made an appearance in the other story yet... well, that's not confusing. :P

Thank you for a wonderful review!
xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #14, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Can't Help Myself

23rd October 2010:
:O
Well, I wasn't expecting THAT - much as you mustn't expect much from this review. I'm very out of practise with them so it'll basically be squee sandwiched by swooning and some gasping.

-swoons-
-squees-
-gasps-

Seriously, though, lovely, this was such a fabulous start. I love how you changed the perspective halfway through so effortlessly, so smoothly. It was very subtle but very obvious that the 'I' and 'he' was the same person, which is challenging to do convincingly.

The entire opening was gorgeous - really well written, brilliant expression, a sense of longing, a few questions there for us to ask and wonder about. Although you didn't explicitly say it was Lorcan - I'm assuming from the summary, and if I'm wrong, you can slap me, but it definitely sounded like him. There's always something wonderful about the Scamander twins, in that they're usually very easy to identify if they're done properly and Lorcan most certainly is here.
[and if I'm drastically wrong and this is someone else entirely, you can laugh at me forever and ever, amen]

Anyway, stopping now because I want to go onto the next chapterrr. Fabulous start, ma chérie.


xx

Author's Response: Rachel! *huggles* I did see this review before, but being me, I completely forgot to respond to it. :P

Thank you so much! What a perfectly lovely review. Everyone likes fluffy squee reviews and you leave such nice ones :)

I'm glad you think the perspective change works, I really worried about that. When I first started reading this piece it was something completely different. Angsty even. But as I kept going through the first part the characters just asserted themselves and demanded I write more. :D So I did! And will hopefully add a new chapter soon.

xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #15, by thehyacinthgirl My Foolish Heart

23rd September 2010:
A couple of errors I noticed: His mother smiled up at him serenely, the vibrant yellow of her dress nearly blinding him as he did so. I think that you meant as 'she' did so. Otherwise that sentence doesn't make much sense.

I was always told that alright should be all right, but that's a personal preference, it seems. Mozilla is saying that it's fine.

James just guffawed, slapping his friend on the back.” You don't need that quote after that sentence.

I was a bit disappointed that there were was more conversation and less description, but I honestly enjoyed both. Even if the descriptions were sparse and in between. It did amuse me when Molly compared Lorcan to an oak. That was quite funny.

Oh, I do hope that he said the italics out loud, but something tells me that it was simply a thought, which is quite sad. I want him and Lucy to get together already.

I love your characterizations! I can safely say that I like Lorcan now that we know more about him. He is adorable and I would like to give him a hug.

Not to mention Molly doesn't seem like a mini-Percy so yay! I love stories where she has her own individual personality.

Great work!


Linders

Author's Response: Thanks for the review dearie! And for catching my errors, I'll go fix those right off :)

There should be only two more chapters, so it won't be long until you find out what happens. But seeing as this is fluff, what else could possibly happen except a happy ending? :P

Always appreciate hearing from you.

xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #16, by RonsGirlFriday Can't Help Myself

5th September 2010:
Shiloh, this is GORGEOUS and I am in love! I especially love how you started it out in first person and then switched to third. It really works here - I think it's a great stylistic choice. I was so mesmerized by the first part, Lorcan's thoughts in first person. The descriptions and emotions are beautiful. I think the very first paragraph must be my absolute favorite in this chapter. I cannot wait to read on!

xoxo
Melanie

Author's Response: Thank you Mel! I was so surprised to open this up and find a review from you, I'm smiling so big the barista probably thinks I'm an idiot. :) I rather like the beginning too, when I first started writing this I thought it was going to be a no-dialogue piece like The Earth Beneath Us, but then the idea for the short-story just hit me! The second chapter is in validation right now :)

Thank you so much darling!
xoxo
Shiloh


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Review #17, by LindaSnape Can't Help Myself

4th September 2010:
I love this thus far! This is beautiful.

I think my favorite line was: Skin, soft as rose petals, turned golden by the sun you outshone. In a dress of pale yellow, like a buttercup, petals folded all around like some fairy dancing attendance on a Summer Queen.

It was such a beautiful description. Yet this all was. It was poetic, it flowed well, and nothing in it seemed jarring in the least. It is gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous! & it was made all the more magnificent by the fact that there were no spelling errors or grammar hiccups to be found.

I loved your characterization of Lucy. She seems like that one person that everyone wants to be around because she's full of such beauty, energy, and spontaneity. The type of person that everyone wants to know and be friends with.

I'm unsure of Lorcan, but I like what little of him was presented to us. He seems remarkably thoughtful and sincere, and it's sweet that he remembered Lucy. Though, she seems rather unforgettable.

I can't see how this progresses. This is already marvelous! I feel kindred toward Lorcan and I feel as if Lucy might be my best friend. She reminds me a lot of my actual best friend, in truth.

Amazing!

Keep up the good work!


Linders

Author's Response: You leave the best reviews my dear -squish-

This story was one of those that just happened. I wanted to write something new and so I started writing the beginning of this. At first I thought it was going to be a no dialogue piece like The Earth Beneath Us, but about halfway through I got the idea to turn it into a short story. Hence the first to third person change at the end. I'm so glad you liked this!

Lorcan is an absolute dear. He is one of my favourite male characters I've ever written. He's so earnest and so fanciful in his imaginings. You'll see what I mean in the next chapter! I just can't help but love him!

xoxo
Shiloh


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