Hi! I'm here for the TGS Review Exchange! (Just so you know, I'm planning to drop off a few more reviews on your page just to even out the swap.)
Man, what a way to explain Peter's defection! I love how you explored the seediest, darkest parts of his character - I always love doing that myself - and I think you pulled it off quite well. (I can see where the Best Villain Runner-Up award came from!) I can see little trickles of obsession pouring in here, the kinds of deep, dark ideas that would make Voldemort's service attractive to someone. Peter so desperately wants inclusion that he sort of mentally makes up this idea that he and Remus are destined to be lovers. I can see, looking from the outside in, that it's twisted and warped, and I can see why Remus reacted with total shock to that kiss.
I love your depiction of the Marauders here, because it's so beautifully sinister. It's almost like you've taken these beloved brother figures from canon and turned them into nightmare versions of themselves. Sirius's friendly dog turns into a snarling beast, and James's proud stag turns into an arrogant creature that lords over the little rat. It's clearer than ever to me, even looking at something as simple as the choice of Animagus forms, that Peter never really fit in to this crowd.
I love the imagery here, too. For example, I think this line:
hoods thrown back as through in defiance of the cold
...does a lot in its simplicity to already give me a sense of that confidence and judgment that is to come before James and Sirius even open their mouths. I thought the flow here was lovely, too, and I didn't spot any technical errors, either.
I'm so glad I got to read this. See you again soon!
Amanda :) Report Review
I think you broke my heart a little with this one shot. I've never read Peter/Remus before, so this was new for me and I am very impressed! The characters were all perfect, Sirius especially. I could really feel his frustration that Peter wasn't as involved in the Order as he wanted him to be. And Peter, I felt really sorry for him in this. Its so easy for people to just make him out at the baddie, but its much harder to make him into a real, believable character and you did this so well.
The fact that Remus turned him down after he's been feeling so low, is a very believable reason for him to turn to the other side. He put his heart out there, he was being so courageous and he was rejected.
Your descriptions were wonderful and everything just flowed so well. Great piece :D Report Review
Wow, I totally didn't see that coming! You did a graet job at capturing all of the marauders moods and I especially loved Peter. He's one of my favorite characters and you most definietly did him justice. The kiss was great and Remus' reaction was just as perfect, and I loved how it just drove Peter over the edge after an all ready bad day. Besides all of this, I love your writing style the description and everything are perfect, you're amazing!
10/10/ (:Author's Response: Thanks spangles! Peter is a seriously under-represented character, and I hate when he is completely written off as pure evil from the get-go. There has to be a reason that he became best friends with the other Marauders, and I really wanted to show that there was more to him than just the traitor. There had to be some motivation for him to turn his back on his best friends, whether fully justified or not. And Remus -sigh- even in this situation he is a complete gentleman. What a man, huh? Oh, and you are completely crazy for using the word perfect to describe anything I write, but ILY anyway. XD Report Review
what an interesting story - i really liked this, i liked the way you got into peter's head; the nerves, the anxiety - it was all there. and james, sirius and remus were perfectly characterised, sirius in particular. i imagine him like this - he had the strength to stand up and turn his back on his family, so he'd imagine everyone else to have that same sort of strength too.
i loved the ending. it's easy to imagine a broken heart, from such a tragic character, would force peter to do what he did.
excellent piece hun!Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for coming over and checking this out for me!
You're review has really given me a sense of relief. What I was most worried about with the one shot was the characterizations, and judging from what you have said I've managed to portray three-dimensional, believable characters. I'm glad you pointed that out about Sirius, because as I was writing I really began to see that that single misunderstanding probably was the root of a lot of bitterness within the Marauder's. When Sirius picked a side in the war he turned his back on his entire family to do so. Peter's hesitance would have completely thrown him - joining the Order is so obviously right to Sirius, and in doing so Peter would have the support of the people he loves most. I imagine that Sirius saw Peter's decision as being much easier than his own, and the fact that Peter had so much trouble with it would have made Sirius question Peter's loyalties - if he was really their friend, wouldn't he jump at the chance to fight at their side? This, of course, only serves to isolate poor Peter further. I see him as a big jumbled ball of fear and nerves just waiting to hit the breaking point. His perceived loss of Remus - the one person he thought he could count on - is that breaking point.
I think I've rambled a bit afield in this response, so I'll just sum things up by saying thanks so much again for taking the time to read and review this, and for all your kind words! It means a lot to me!!
Hello! Here with your review. I gotta say, I'm a bit scared to check out a Peter/Remus, but maybe you'll turn me around. :D
First off, I'm really glad that this is Post-School for them. I love the rising trend of non-Hogwarts fics. For someone who hasn't seen a school in 7 years, I relate so much better to them and enjoy them more. :D Okay, so I usually review as I go along, but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't pull myself away from it to write. This was really great. It was real and cold and had a very poetic quality to it. I could see it playing in my head like a movie and I loved it. I think you captured Peter very well and it felt quite canon. His inner feelings felt spot on. As for James and Sirius, I'm so glad that you didn't sugar coat them and make Peter some simpering fool. I really believe that he woulda grown out of that by now and you came through in Aces. I loved your characterization of Remus!
Is it believable? Absolutely. I thought it was very fitting and could very well have been a page right out of the books. Not a Peter/Remus fan, so I'm glad the way it ended. It felt so much more real than a returned affection. :D I loved this, just...yeah! Brilliant. --JennaAuthor's Response: Hi Jenna, thanks for reviewing!
Yeah, so many Marauders stories focus on their time at school, that the ground has been pretty well covered. But they were out on their own for almost three years before the night the Potter's died, which leaves a lot of unexplored territory.
OMG, you are too sweet! I hate when Peter is written off as a simpering fool, as you said. I wrote this specifically to show there is more to him than that. And as for James and Sirius, they have already shown that beneath the shining hero exterior there runs a bit of a cruel streak. So it doesn't really make sense to portray them all as being flat, one-dimensional characters.
Yeah, I'm not shipping Peter/Remus either, so don't worry! This is a relationship that isn't supposed to work out. It's really all just built up inside Peter's mind, and sort of implodes on itself when Peter begins to think it is real.
Thank you again for the review, and all your kind words!
Mary Report Review
Oh wow, that was different! I don't think I've come across a Remus/Peter, but I'm so glad you requested! Very original and very very believable. In essence, you gave me one moment, but I loved how you didn't rush it - there was plenty of build-up, plenty of time to get to know Peter and his situation. The characterisation was wonderful! I can just imagine Sirius being like that, the one to ask him why he wasn't attending the meetings, why he wasn't taking sides. James trying to smooth the waters also seemed very in character. Remus... just brilliant. He jumped to Peter's defense at the right point and when he rejected Peter's kiss it didn't seem cruel or harsh... I think he was remarkably tactful. Then Peter's anger and embarrassment afterwards really added to his character. A lovely read, thank you for requesting!
MarinaAuthor's Response: Marina, what a wonderful review!
I've never really tired slash before, and I haven't read much of it, so I'm glad you think that this was well-handled and believable. Peter/Remus isn't something I've come across before either, but the story just seemed to form around the title, and I had to write it.
I absolutely see Sirius taking the role he has - after all, this is a man who turned his back on everything to stand up for what he believed in, so I see him not being able to understand when others aren't so willing to do the same. I think he truly doesn't understand why Peter is so hesitant to join, which unfortunately just makes Peter feel more isolated. James and Remus I see as being more calming, neutral forces in the friendship, and it really is all in Peter's perception of things that he sees more into Remus's behaviour towards to him.
Thank you again for such a wonderful review, I'm so glad you enjoyed this!
Wow, I don't normally review, but I feel like I have to. That was so good. This is a different take on Peter and I like it. It was the title that brought me in, but I wasn't expecting this. Great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this! It means a lot that you took the time to do so.
Thanks again :) Report Review
FANTASTIC! Unexpected and realistic as it could get. Thank you so much for all of the work you put into this story. Good job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a wonderful review! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! I really tried to tap into the essence of Peter's character here, so I'm glad you find it so believable.
Thanks again! Report Review
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