Reading Reviews for Jane
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Captain Kill Wormtail (Not Logged In) I Can't Stand It

4th April 2012:
Woah. Al really told her off, didn't he?!
Harry and Ginny seem a bit mixed up, I mean, Ginny let Lily, her youngest daughter, go off to Italy alone, but she won't let her second-eldest son make his own choices? That's pretty mixed.

Albus is right, though. She's the only one who can't accept it and she's hurting him like he's 'hurting' her. It might be hard for parents to let go of they're children, but COME ON! If Al knows what he's doing, and he's going somewhere, you'd think that she's get the hint and back off a bit, the kid's getting older, he should have some common sense by now!

I've got a Music Recommendation for you! How about 'Asleep' by The Smiths?

I love that I've found a good music fanfiction around here, it's something different, so I thank you. :)

10/10
Update soon!

PS:
Phew! Al isn't dead. Had me a bit worried for a bit there.

PPS:
Damn, I never thought Al would be stupid enough to do drugs, let alone COCAINE! I mean, smoking weed is something, but you'd think he'd be a bit smarter! Guess it's all with the image of a rockstar, hey?

PPPS:
A little more of Jane, please! She seems cool. IS SHE A MUGGLE OR A WITCH?!

PS:
I like coffee too. :)

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Review #2, by Crescent Moon  I Can't Stand It

17th September 2011:
Great chapter!! I loved it!! XD
I can't wait to see what's going to happen next, his family are going to want him to do music even less after this.
Please update as soon as you can.

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Review #3, by Jess the Enthusiast I Can't Stand It

14th September 2011:
Music recommendation! Asleep by the Smiths :D
Really great chapter! And intense! I think that you wrote the family dinner and arguement really well. And I liked the humor that was throughout; James in particular makes me laugh.
I hope Al's okay; maybe Jane will take him home and let him sleep on HER couch :D
Can't wait for the next update! 10/10 :D

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Review #4, by Sorcha15 I Can't Stand It

14th September 2011:
I'm glad pretty much is entire family accepts him being a musician and in a band.I thought Ginny would be alot more accepting considering she was a fan of the Weird Sisters,liking Bill's long hair and earring.But I guess she changed.

I'm glad Albus told her off,I mean she let Lily go to Italy by herself right?She let her young daughter go without anybody going with her;but she dosen't want Al to be in a band traveling with people,I mean come on.

And Albus is right she's the only one who can't accept it and she's hurting him like he's 'hurting' her.Even if it's about him growing up for parents it has to be hard but you're gonna hurt them alot from trying to keep them from what they want to do.

And the hardcore drugs I wasn't expecting that,but you know Sex,Drugs,and Rock n Roll,even though drugs were 'cool' in the 80's but there never cool.

And recommendations,now I know about the drugs maybe Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day or Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day also.Jesus of Suburbia again isn't just like the story but if you look up the lyrics some of them can relate to Albus.I love Green Day, my reason for picking up a guitar.

And I i'm glad I finally found a HP story that has music in it,and not just magical music but muggle music you never see those ,and i've read all the HP books except Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix but I haven't see music really involved in it anywhere.But I have heard the songs by the Weird Sisters on the Goblet of Fire soundtrack,but not a big fan.And I like that Albus isn't into Quidditch,again alot of stories have the oc character in love with it,I mean not everybody can like it.I wouldn't i'm afraid of heights.

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Review #5, by DarkLadyofSlytherin Jane

14th September 2011:
Hey there,
This is Len from TGS with your reviews from the review exchange.

First off, I rather like the voice you've given Albus. It's spunky, and slightly melodramatic. I can definitely see it as the voice of a musician. Though, as Harry grew up in the muggle world, I can't see him being too against Al's choice in careers. And there were bands (The Weird Sisters) in the wizarding world.

Jane's character, while only just appearing is much harder to discuss. She's drunk and I don't want to take any assumptions with her given that fact. However, as a drunk, she makes me laugh. As does James. Drunk people are funny. I just hope Jane stays asleep and Al won't end up in a position where she is throwing herself at him again. That would be bad.

Now for some nitpicky things. There are a lot of typos in this chapter. Some of them made me read over the chapter a few times before understanding what you were trying to say. They can be a bit jarring. I'd suggest finding a beta that would read it over for that reason, because it seems like a great plot, just some basic typos. We all make them.

I rather enjoyed this first chapter, and I'll try to get back to read more once I'm feeling a bit better.
Len

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Review #6, by emmac I Can't Stand It

14th September 2011:
i loved it and cant wait for more of jane

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!
Update will be up soon!


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Review #7, by marthenic Ramble On

13th September 2011:
This is really good!!! I love to read more so please update soon?
For some reason I think of Jackson Rathbone when I read it...that a good thing thought.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing!
Jackson Rathbone... interesting :) I guess I could kind of see him in the band? :P
Chapter 6 is in the queue! It won't be too much longer :)
-Louise


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Review #8, by Phoenix_Flames Jane

5th September 2011:
Hey there, hun! It's Drue here with your review as requested. :)

And wow! This is such an original story, and this was a great opening chapter to what I'm sure will be a great story. I honestly don't think I have read a story like this before. I most certainly haven't read any of the Potter boys drunk. That was definitely an entertaining change. :P

You seem to have a great story coming along here. I wouldn't be too worried about anything yet. This was a great way to start off the story. You have a unique set up here with the band. I can't wait to see how you got about all of this.

So far, for your characters, they seem pretty original and solid. Since this is the only the first chapter though, I can give you a more firm opinion as the story goes on. And an even better opinion when they are sober because no one is their true self when they are drunk. :P So we have yet to see their true characters, so as of this point, there is so much room for the development of the characters. Which I always think is great. I don't much like it when a story starts with sappy introductions. I like to learn about the character as the story goes on. So I this is wonderful here!

I liked that Al remained more sober at the party than his brother. That's good, and that one thing right there says something good about his character. I am also quite intrigued to learn more about miss Jane!

I would love to see where this story goes. So far, it all seems wonderful. Really great job! There's so much originality.

Your descriptions were another thing that I thought were simply marvellous. Everything just seemed dead on and so elaborate. There was so much life to the story all in your descriptions.

Excellent job with this story! :)

I am going to empty out my queue, and then I will return for the next chapter. If you haven't received your next review from me within the next few days, feel free to come request again! :) Thanks!

Author's Response: Hi Drue!
Thank you so much for the review!
I actually came up with the idea for this because I was listening to music, and observing how music is never really a part of wizarding life, fanfiction or otherwise :) I thought it would make a good one-shot, and bam! I had a story on my hands.

Thank you so much :) It's great to know my characters seem orgininal, because I spend so much time trying to think up quirky little things for them to be. Sometimes I feel like they turn out better when I just wing it like I did in this chapter particularly.

I can't wait to hear what you think of the later chapters, and I will re-request in a few days :)

Thanks again,

Louise


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Review #9, by Sorcha15 Ramble On

2nd September 2011:
Jane's different,i'm not sure how to make her out,but not in a bad way.I like characters that are mysterious,you can't really read them all the way at first.

And I really want the see the family dinner in the next chapter.Albus' and Jimmy's is kinda 'let's pick on each other in a fun way',and it is fun to read.
And i'm a surprised that Harry and Ginny aren't really supportive of Albus' dreams.I know that they're worried that the crazy schedules aren't healthy,but he loves it and he's good at it.If you love something so much that you should do it,why get a job that most people think is suitable and be miserable for the rest of you're life.

I love music,I play the guitar,my parents are supportive,espescially my dad because he's a drummer.I couldn't imagine what it's like to have a family not supportive of what you do.

And songs,i'm not really sure right now,maybe Second Chance by ShineDown,I know Albus isn't leaving but it kinda has the same subject.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!
Al's not quite sure what to think of Jane either, and thanks again :)
I love to hear what musicians think of this story, and I definitetly understand how your family could be really supportive. My family really WANTS me to be a musican, but they don't really understand that I want to be a writer. That's what Al's parent's issue with it is. They don't really understand his career choice, and they don't think it's the best choice for their child. I'll have to give that a listen! thanks for the recommenation, and the lovely review!
-Louise


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Review #10, by nightingale14 Jane

27th August 2011:
Nice story so far, and yes, I'm a music junkie. Hm...what song shall I choose? Oh yes! I know! How bout when Al gets really sappy sometime he does a classic-
"Hey There Dalilah' by The Plain White T's? Maybe he'll dedicate it to Jane or something? Anyways, nice first chapter, and I shall keep reading!
9/10
-nightingale14

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!
I love that song! It IS a classic, I'll have to include it at some point...
I hope you enjoy(ed) the rest :)
-Louise


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Review #11, by emma Ramble On

26th August 2011:
love the story so far and cant wait for more :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Update will be up ASAP :)

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Review #12, by Jess the Enthusiast Ramble On

23rd August 2011:
So glad to see an update! I will recommend to you Make Believe by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts :D
I thought that it was pretty cool/funny/hot that Al likes to cook; I would have never expected that of him. And using potatoe salad to bribe his mom? Pretty genius and funny! I loved how Al ran into Jane at the grocery store and their conversation was so cute and sweet! I thought it was adorable how Jane was spouting out coffee facts. AND SHE GAVE HIM HER NUMBER!! YAY! Jimmy was right how Al lets girls take over and control him so I hope that a healthy relationship with Jane will help him get over that.
Loved the chapter and can't wait for the next one! 10/10 :D

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I HAVE A FOLLOWER! YAY! btw, you totally make my day with your awesome possum reviews! Joan Jett has to be one of the most ba people EVER! I love her! And that song is prettty awesome! thanks for the recommendation!
I knew I wanted them to meet up in a grocery store, but Al's ability to cook sort of snuck up on me. I guess it's because I love guys who can cook ;)
Thanks so much for the awesome review! Update will be coming soon...
-Louise


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Review #13, by NextGenna14 Ramble On

23rd August 2011:
This story is awesome! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much :)


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Review #14, by he_could_be_the_1 Ramble On

23rd August 2011:
i like it a lot. i was searching to find it actually. i love Jane she seems really kindhearted and sweet, the opposite of CeCe who by the way i HATE...
Al needs to get over her ad hang with Jane then fall in love with Jane then marry Jane then...
it's gonna be interesting tofind out whether Jane is a muggle or a witch cause right now i can't tell

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!
I'm curious as to where you heard about it, and thanks for trying to find it :)
Haha Cece is a difficult person in many ways... We'll see about what will happen with them, and whether Jane is a muggle or not...?
Thanks!
-Louise


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Review #15, by Jess the Enthusiast All You Need is Love

19th August 2011:
I fully 100% approve of Al's taste in The Beatles. BEST. BAND. EVER.
I thought the intervention was hilarious; especially how serious James was acting. I was laughing so hard.
And Jane leaving the coffee beans for Al was so cute; I can't wait for them to meet up again. I'm just so excited for this story and I can't wait for you to update more! :D 10/10

Author's Response: ME TO! I love the Beatles so much! I bet there is another Beatles chapter somewhere along the way. :P
The intervention was not something I'd planned at all when I was writing. It just sort of... Came out :P James is so weird! But I love him, too.
The next chapter is in the queue! There's some more Jane in it ;) Thank you so much for the sweet review!
-Louise


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Review #16, by Jess the Enthusiast Prom Queen & My Doorbell

19th August 2011:
Another great chapter! Al and Cecila's relationship kind of remindes me of in The Wedding Singer how Robbie wants a relationship and Linda is the toxic, party girl who's only looking for a good time. It's very realistic and well written! And I can't wait for the return of Jane so she can get Al out of this mess! :D
Also, I read your responses to my other reviews and I just wanted to say that I didn't know that Florence was discovered singing in a bar bathroom; that is so cool! I guess I should sing while I'm at resturants, etc; you never know who's listening! And also, I'm glad that you enjoy my story; I certainly enjoy yours! :D
10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much!
I've never seen the Wedding Singer, but I'll have to watch it, if not for inspiration ;) But yeah, that kind of relationship happened to a friend of mine once, it was extremely hard to get him out of it, but the problem with that situation was my friend didn't know the chick was using him. Al does know ;P
Thank you! Cecilia is one of my favorite characters to write. A lot of personality :)
Haha you never can know where fame might show up! Thanks again!

-Louise


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Review #17, by Jess the Enthusiast Sweet Child O' Mine

17th August 2011:
I said it in my first review, and I'll say it again: This story is so cool! You write well in Al's point of view. I really liked how Jane was almost like a ghost; there was almost no evidence that she had been really there and yet, she, her eyes, haunted him all day. Very cool.
10/10 :D

Author's Response: Thank you again!
I find it so much easier to write in male point of view than female, why, I don't know. Maybe it comes from having mostly guy friends and a brother? I mean, I can write girls, but I think it's easier for me to write about girls than from there perspective. If that makes any sense?

Yeah, I meant for it to be like she could have been a dream, except for the tiny little reminders that she was there, and Al's memories of her :)

Thanks again!
-Louise


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Review #18, by Jess the Enthusiast Jane

17th August 2011:
This story is SO good! Cosmic Love by Florence + the Machine! I personally love music and I love how you made the decision to make Al a musician; most people make the main characters Aurors or Healers. So. Cool.
I'm also a huge fan of the whole muggle/wizard pairing so this is really exciting! (I'll still be excited for this story even if Jane turns out to be a witch though).
This is so cool; I'm so excited to read the rest!
10/10 :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much :)
I love Florence! Did you know she was discovered singing in a bar bathroom? hahaha
I thought Al would make a good moody bad boy musician, but the inspiration really struck me when I saw the picture on the banner. It was just so perfect!
We'll just have to wait and see about Jane... (btw I LOVE your story as well. Muggle/Wizard all the way!)
Thank you for reading and reviewing!
-Louise


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Review #19, by Crescent Moon  All You Need is Love

15th August 2011:
Great chapter!! I can't wait to meet Jane again.
His family are so funny XD
I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing :) I promise she'll be around next chapter. Al's family is pretty hilarious. They ended up being a little weirder than I thought they would be. Next chapter should be up as soon as my new chapter for Beauty is validated! Thanks again,
Louise


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Review #20, by Crescent Moon  Prom Queen & My Doorbell

8th August 2011:
I like this take on Al/OC. It's different to the one's that I normally read so it's a great to have a change.
I can't wait to see what's going to happen next, and what the Sunday lunch is going to be like.
Please update as soon as you can.

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

Part of the reason I wrote this story is for a different take, and an different idea for what Al's personality would be :)

Chapter 4 is most of the way done, but the queue is quite long so it may be close to two weeks before it's validated :( I have another story that I'm also working on, and the first chapter of that is currently in the queue.

Thank you for your kind review!

-Louise


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Review #21, by AC_rules Prom Queen & My Doorbell

6th August 2011:
I hope theres more of Jane coming up at some point. I love Celia though, she's fabulously messed up and believable. Al too, with him really liking her and trying not to like her and being not very nice to her.

I liked all the music related stuff much more in this chapter it seemed less naming names and more to do with how much the music means to Al, which I really liked.

Ravenclaw!

Author's Response: Jane is making an appearance very soon :) And as I said below, I think Jane may be my favorite character, except for possible Jimmy (there is more Jimmy coming up :D ). Music is Al's life (as it is mine), and I try to show that as best I can without being to pretentious about it.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

-Louise


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Review #22, by AC_rules Sweet Child O' Mine

6th August 2011:
Poor Al, he's got himself into a bit of an awkward situation with this one. Its about time there were a couple of not so nice females around, I suppose in fanfiction you often get the clingy/hyper jealous girlfriends and life destroyers, but I like this kind of figure better ^

Still enjoying the story although there was a little bit too much about the actually music they were playing in this one (although I suppose thats mostly the point of the story). Great chapter!

Ravenclaw :)

Author's Response: I have a lot of fun writing the Cecilia parts :) She's a great character to write, and I swear she has a mind of her own sometimes. Haha I get to wrapped up in the music and forget my audience :P I will try and not have as many jamming seshs in future.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

-Louise


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Review #23, by AC_rules Jane

6th August 2011:
I'm so glad I'm not the only person in the world who thinks about the whole 'some people think in pictures, some people think in words' thing! I spend so long thinking about how strange that whole thing is. Personally, I think in words. In fact, I can't see pictures in my head at all (because I'm really strange).

I find it pretty hard to imagine Albus as a Rock star type figure - although thats probably becuase of all the fanfiction where he's very very different. Anyway, I really enjoyed it so far and it seemed to me be to be very well written. The Jane action seemed pretty rushed, but things get like that when your drunk.

I'll be reading on.

Ravenclaw!

Author's Response: Hi!
Thanks for reviewing!

I'm totally a words girl too, I think most writers are :) It is quite strange. I have this friend who's an artist, not professionally (yet) but temperamentally, and she always talks in terms of appearance, and is a strong believer in 'a picture's worth a thousand words'. But I think words make the picture more vivid and more powerful :)

I think part of the point of this story is to show a different side to Albus, as in many other stories, he tends to be the same kind of character. Plus, music is under used in the wizarding world :P

As for the Jane part, I think I got a little to exicted, and went a bit to fast. I've been working on this chapter a bit, and have been tried to revise it and flesh it out a bit more, but it doesn't have quite the same effect.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, I really appriecate it!

-Louise


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Review #24, by Jess Sweet Child O' Mine

27th November 2010:
Oh my gosh..I love your playlist.
And I wish I could hear their origional songs. Lol the titles are intresing. And I'm not gonna lie, I could hear Freeze in my head as I read the lyrics and it's kinda stuck in there now. And I don't even know how you mean for it to sound, but the way it sounds in my head is really catchy. Hahaha.
So anyway, I really like this. I read it when it was a one shot, and I got all excited when I saw that you decided to continue it.
Update soon, please :]

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this amazing review!
I spent fooorrreevvver on that playlist and it's awesome to know that it went over well :) I have a very specific sound of them in my head, but i guess one of my favorite thing about this is that to everyone they'll sound different :)
thanks again, and i'm working on ch. 3 as we speak :)
-Louise


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Review #25, by _hedwig_ Sweet Child O' Mine

16th November 2010:
I'll review for Al! And you, of course...

I'M SO GLAD YOU DIDN'T JUST MAKE IT A ONE-SHOT!!!

Al's band couldn't get out of my head. I want her to find Jane again...

Author's Response: thanks, Al appreciates it :)
The band couldn't get out of my head either. They were stalking me, i swear ;)
thanks for reviewing!
-Louise


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