Reading Reviews for Aeternum Vale
  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Akussa When the Dust Settles

15th December 2011:
Hi!

Wow, this was so beautiful. I absolutly loved the writting style you chose for this piece. It is original and punchy. I also appreciate the effort you put into details when writting this in such a poetic manner; every word has it's specific importance when writting poems and you did a great job at that.

The story in itself was heartbreaking. I really liked how you described Regulus' pride when getting the mark and the disdain the girl felt but instantly regretted. The emotions were running high and it passed through the screen.

One little detail that I could point out is in the format. At some point, there is a large space between two proses where, I am guessing, the two sentences should be on two different lines.
It's very minor though (I was really looking hard to find something to critique!).

I really enjoyed the originality and the emotional edge of this piece. Your writting style is amazing and I, overall, had a great reading time!

You're the boy who broke my heart, Regulus Black. And I'm the girl who let you.

Author's Response: Thank you :) You're too kind! It's really hard to find the right words that will work together and flow, so I'm glad you like how I put it together.

I always imagined that Regulus was against his families ideals deep down, or else he wouldn't have been able to go against lord voldemort like he did.

Thanks for pointing that out. I was having some formating issues when I transfered it from my word document, and I thought I got everything, but I missed that one! I'll be sure to edit it soon.

Thanks again for your extremely kind review.
-Ronsgirl29


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Review #2, by Ashling586 When the Dust Settles

13th December 2011:
I liked the way you wrote this one shot in a poem form. For the longest time poems were the only thing i wrote so i can appreciate the time and effort you put in. I loved this story there were parts that made me want to tear up. I could almost feel the desperation the girl felt. It sucks that he wasn't really listening and that he still was able to walk away from her in the end.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I had always wanted to write a more poetic piece, so when inspiration struck I just went with it! I hate writing sad endings, but a happy ending just wouldn't have fit with the story so the poor girl had Reg walk away :(

Thanks so much for the review!
-ronsgirl29


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Review #3, by NaidatheRavenclaw When the Dust Settles

9th August 2011:
This was heartbreaking!
I loved the format of this. Italics, and then short setences, and then more italics. It really made your story stand out to me!
The words you use are fantastic. The imagery is just wow. Like this sentence: "The sound of my heel on the stone floor pierces the silence, like a bullet through glass. The echo remains, like the shards that fall to the ground." That just reverberated through my mind after I read it,a and I know that I won't be forgetting it any time soon! It's funny, because just a couple minutes ago, I read a thread about getting rid of unecessary words versus using a lot of description, and you seem to do both of them perfectly. It's short and concise, yet the imagery is powerful.
It was an amazing one shot! Great job!
-NaidatheRavenclaw, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

I took a different approach with this story than anything else I've ever written. I normally am very big on character information, but here I just kind of let the imagery and shorter words speak for itself without being too specific about the girl speaking. Being vague can be rather fun, haha.

Thanks so much for your kind words, it means a lot to me that you liked this :) Maybe I'll try another piece like this soon!

-ronsgirl29


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Review #4, by gingersnape When the Dust Settles

7th August 2011:
Hehe, I am here and I'll admit I picked this story because of the banner! Well, the banner itself is stunning, but the quote got me thinking and I couldn't help but read the story, and it certainly went way beyond expectations! Ahh, this was stunning! The thing about it that I like most is the striking way it is written. Every sentence, every line, it's all so poignant and I feel like every word matters with it. I've never really thought about Regulus like that, but in reading this I know it's something that has now filled me up with emotion and wishes and everything that comes with only the most powerfully written stories. I was a little confused at first with what was going on, but then it became clearer to me and everything fell into place. I am in awe of this, so keep up the fantastic writing!

gingersnape, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Nothing wrong with going by a banner! Haha I do that often myself. Cool banners are hard to resist. (Props to TDA artists!)

Thanks so much for your kind words. Like I've said in other responses, this is really different from anything I've done, so I was super nervous when I decided to post it. It means a lot to hear it's well recieved :)

I'm glad it wasn't too confusing and you were able to make sense of it. It's very vague in many parts, so I understand the confusion.

Thanks again, your review really put a smile on my face!
-ronsgirl29


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Review #5, by Debra20 When the Dust Settles

4th August 2011:
Regulus Black! It's the first story I read about him!

Even though we know so little about him (close to nothing better said) you created a personality for him so close to what I've always imagined him to be, that it's almost impossible not to love your Regulus Black. How he tries so hard to be one of the Death Eaters, swelling with pride. But his eyes showed something else. That was a brilliant hint to what we all know follows...his betrayal.

Also, pairing him with someone added a nice touch to the story. You can imagine how torturous their relationship must have been if in the end Regulus joined Voldemort's side. My favourite part must be the one when she says that her tears would make a stark contrast from the dirty blood that flushed her cheeks. You can't imagine how in character (especially Black character!) that is!


House Cup 2011, End of an Era Review Extravaganza
Forum name: Debra20
House: Gryffindor

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I'm flattered that you like my version of Regulus! I worked really hard on showing his darker side, but also that there was still hope for him someday. That despite it all, there was something in him that made the girl love him.

The idea for this story just came to me one day. It's not really like anything else I've written, but it's one I'm rather proud of. So I'm really glad you like it :)

Thanks again!


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Review #6, by Georgia Weasley When the Dust Settles

10th January 2011:
Oooh, very angsty and desperately sad. I think you got Regulus, wanting so much to make a name for himself, but not really being one of them in the end, done very well. He gave up everything to be a part of Voldemort's inner circle, and didn't realize it until it was too late. I'd like to think there was a girl, before the insanity, whose memory helped Reg choose the right move in the end. Very powerful ending. There was one formatting issue where the second line in the quotations started at the right side, but it was easy to figure out. Very well done.~GW

Author's Response: Haha, angsty. That's the prefect word for it. I'm glad you liked my take on Regulus, in my mind he was never fully into the whole deather eather ideology, he just wasn't as brave as sirius. Oh and thanks for pointing that out! I'll have to fix that (:

thanks for the lovely review!
-ronsgirl29


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Review #7, by ericajen When the Dust Settles

15th December 2010:
Why so amazing?

Honestly, I was just getting on to do my Secret Santa business - you know - leave a few jolly reviews and such, but then you kind of blew me away. And by kind of, I mean completely.

This is really powerful writing. It's the kind that really speaks to me. I love that it's vague and you don't give away the details or the reasons. They're unnecessary and it was smart to leave them out. In a one-shot like this, they really don't matter. I know I've received a bit of criticism from readers who didn't like that I left out all the background information, but I much prefer it this way. I like that you get to think of your own reasons; it's left up to interpretation and I think that's the best thing about reading stories.

Also, the use of present tense really puts emphasis on her emotions and feelings. I think if you had used past tense it would not have been nearly as powerful or good. So great choice there :P

And I love the unhappy ending, and I don't care how cynical that is. Unhappy endings are the best kind sometimes, and this fic proves it.

Well done! I'm more or less (more) psyched to read more of your stuff!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! This review totally made my afternoon filled with school work 100 times better. I'm sitting here smiling so big, I probs look like a crazy person... OH well :D

I'm really glad you liked the vague-ness! (is that even a word?) I do realize why people would want to know more, because frankly it can be a bit confusing. But I did that on purpose to an extent, because the girl doesn't even really understand what's happening, so how can the reader? haha

And ya know, I'm kind of a hypocrite because I don't always like reading unhappy endings, but I like writing them. Like I have to force myself to make it happy sometimes when I'm writing. Except for in this case of course, were a unhappy ending was just right!

Thanks again erica(:


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Review #8, by Katie When the Dust Settles

15th November 2010:
Ugh, God, Regulus just breaks my heart.

Author's Response: Oh, I know, same here! It broke my heart to write this ahaha, it's so sad. But I just couldn't see regulus acting any other way.

Thanks so much for the reivew!


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Review #9, by zeebeescilla When the Dust Settles

15th November 2010:
i feel for the girl. she seemed to be so in love with regulus, but was afraid. they were both afraid weren't they?
they couldn't be together because she was muggleborn or half-blood right?(your reference to 'dirty blood' makes me think that.) and because he wanted so badly to please his family. :(
i also wonder who is the her you speak of when you say 'them instead of us; her instead of me.' i can't seem to figure it out...

on a seperate note, i love how it poetic it seems. all the sentences/lines flow together really well. i also like the thoughts in-between(which is what i'm assuming they are?)they add a nice touch.
my favorite line of the whole story is 'your name may be Black, but your heart is not.' it sums regulus up quite nicely i think.

all in all: i adore it! great job! :)

Author's Response: Thats so much! They were both afraid, though regulus tries to hide his fear behind indifference. And I was using the dirty blood line to imply she was a muggleborn, I'm glad you caught that! (:

"Them" is refering to the death eaters, and they her thing isn't something you can figure out because I never said it haha. I throw it in there because I'm still considering writing a follow up story, explaining their relationship. the "her" is refering to a woman that the Black family wants regulus to be with.

I'm glad you like the poemetic feel (: the in-between things are her thoughts haha, I wasn't sure if I wanted to include them but I thought it made it more personal to her.

Ah, that's my favorite line too, so it's nice to hear you like it :D

THANKS AGAIN!
-ronsgirl29


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Review #10, by Steph When the Dust Settles

3rd November 2010:
Really beautiful. Love the way you have written it.

Author's Response: thanks (: That totally made me smile!
-ronsgirl29


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Review #11, by Reyes91 When the Dust Settles

27th October 2010:
What's up, dude? I'm on a small reviewing spree, so I'm here sooner than I thought.

Now, I'll start off by saying that I'm in no way a fan of Regulus getting with anyone as he seems like such a loner. However, I still enjoyed this one-shot. I liked how, in the end, he still chose the Death Eaters instead of this girl (whoever she is). I also liked how she remained nameless and it was up to us readers to fill in the blanks.

The poetic way you wrote this was nice, and a different style I've only read in other storie a few times. I like different things ;) But I have to ask about the italised parts in between things. They can't be song lyrics since you didn't name any song in the Disclaimer. So, I have to wonder what exactly were they? Were they seperate thoughts of this unnamed OC? It matched a bit with the poetic feel of the story, but still confused me a bit. Of course, that could just be me since my vision is slightly blurry since I've read so many things in the past hour :p

As for any type of improvement? Well, I'm not sure. I've never written this way before, so I'm unsure if any drastic changes or adds to description or background information would help or ruin the whole feel of the writing and what-not. Yeah, I'm not exactly being helpful. I'm sorry for that, dude.

I really liked this despite me not liking Regulus with anyone. The emotions you brought out from this girl seemed real and made you feel sorry for her. Also, when she mentioned how her face was flushed with "dirty blood" did that have anything to do with being a Muggleborn, or am I just reading far too into things...?

Either way, good one-shot. Short, but to the point.

-Reyes91

Author's Response: Thanks! Yeah, I agree that I felt he was a loner. He loved her, but he made a lot of bad choices before he 'saw the light' so to speak.

I'm glad you like the poetic-ness. I've never done anything like that before, but I like to challenge myself by doing different things. And those italizied parts were just kind of abstract thoughts of the OC. I'm sorry if they were confusing! it was a kind of stream of conciousness thing. I'll have to go back and seee if I can clean it up a bit.

Haha, no you aren't reading in to much. The dirty blood was a reference to her being a muggleborn. That was a big factor on why they couldn't be together.

Thank you so much for your input! (:

-ronsgirl29


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Review #12, by Kirsty Weasley When the Dust Settles

9th September 2010:
oh Regulus Black.

I adore this! Its so good (sorry its taken me so long to review! I forgot a little bit :P )

But that poor girl!!! Did Reg really love her or was he just out to hurt her/get a quick snog?

I like to believe that he loves her really (in my head Reg wasnt ALL bad)

But anywho! Love it! I feel so sorry for the unnamed girl though, no one should have to go through that -Kirsty x

Author's Response: thanks for the review! That's okay (:

I know, the poor girl got her heart broken. Reg, well, he's a tricky fellow. In my story though, he did love her, he's just afraid. I hope to write a sequel to this someday and hopefully I can show that!

Thanks for the review!
-sylvia


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Review #13, by lilypotterfan123 When the Dust Settles

5th September 2010:
Wow this story was written so excellent because the sentences can be quite short but they are very in depth because of how they are composed. In general I thought it was awesome!

LpF123 xx

Author's Response: thank you so much! that means a lot (: I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

-ronsgirl29


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Review #14, by obiwancrazy When the Dust Settles

1st September 2010:
I love it! There's so much emotion packed into seconds, and it's prolonged so beautifully. Regulus, isn't it? And I really do like the title, even if it isn't yours. I love it love it love it!

Author's Response: Aw thank you! Yes, it's Regulus (: I've always wanted to write about him, so I did! And thank you (: I thought "When the Dust Settles" sounded good with the chapter when I saw it on the forums, so I used it! I wish I'd thought of it. Haha. But the actually title, Aeternum Vale is my own idea. It's latin for 'farewell forever' which I thought was pretty cool!

Thanks so much for this review, it made me smile :D


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Review #15, by dearharry When the Dust Settles

31st August 2010:
That was beautiful!
I love it, thank you for sharing it with the world
:)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! That really made me smile :D This oneshot currently up is unbeta'd, so if you check back in a week I'll have hopefully an even better version up!

Thanks again!


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Review #16, by PotterGirl75 When the Dust Settles

31st August 2010:
I LOVE IT! LOVE IT! like.

Author's Response: Thank you! (: I'm glad you liked it.

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