Aw, that's really sweet! I loved how he was so disjointed intellectually and emotionally that he couldn't work out why a girl would blush at him. That's so cute! :)
Typo alert, though - you missed the "r" in "shirt" about haflway through, when he looked down at his torn jeans and ripped shirt. Because that's not a 12+ word I thought it was pretty important that it be pointed out to you. *grins*
Anyway, I really liked this. Again, we had that transition from hopelessness to having a true reason to live, to try to survive, to fight FOR someone rather than just with someone. And it was a really sweet epiphany he had, just as Pansy was sticking her big neck out. Great job!
melian (gryffindor)Author's Response: Hehe I strive to bring those little cute moments into my stories. I love when I smile or laugh while reading a fic so I try my hardest to give my readers a few of those moments.
:O OMG this has gone through more than one beta and has been in the queue several times and NO ONE has caught that :O I better go fix that.Thanks so much for pointing it out!!
Yay!! I'm so glad you liked the transition!! I definitely wanted that to be the focus of this chapter and wanted to keep that a constant theme throughout. I always though of Ravenclaws as needing a someone to fight FOR rather than with. :)
THANK YOU!!! I'm just so so so happy that you took the time to read and review 4 chapters!! That's sooo amazing and just made my day :D
Love PP Report Review
Hi Robbi! Here as promised! And I don't know what you were talking about, this is wonderful. I can really feel his hopelessness and dearth of feeling, of emotion. His own personal winter, as you said, and everything was desolate, with even the great Potter wanting to destroy the last remnant of Rowena Ravenclaw. I'd never thought about how that might look to members of that House, to be honest, so you've made me re-think things a little. And that's always good, right?
Anyway this is a really good story and, while it's a shame you didn't get it finished in time for the collab last year, I'm glad you still posted it. Great job!! :)
melian (gryffindor)Author's Response: Haha this is actually the least popular story I have up. But I think that's because it's a weird pairing and era...maybe...haha
I really wanted to convey change in this story, and how Michael changes within the span of the battle and how that can have an impact on a person. His winter is bleak and cold, but it won't always be like that.
I have been a Ravenclaw since I first started reading the series, so when Harry was all like oh let's go destroy the ONLY THING our founder had created I was a little ticked off. So I put all that into Michael haha I'm glad I made you think :P
Thanks again for reviewing!
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I kind of want to slap Michael and get him to snap out of it. Of course you're going to die if you keep up an attitude like that! Sheesh. Still, I think it's realistic to think about your own mortality and the mortality of those around you in a situation like this.
I know emotions can run high in the heat of battle, but I'm not so sure about Michael deciding that he loves Lavender all of a sudden. It seemed like last chapter was the first time they had ever really talked at all, so I could see them starting to like each other, but love seems like a bit of a stretch. Still, now or never I suppose :P
I hope you'll continue this story, because I'd really like to read the rest :)
(Ravenclaw)Author's Response: THANK YOU AGAIN FOR REVIEWING!!!
Again, Michael is at/past his breaking point. So far in the story he's not been a happy camper, so he doesn't CARE if he dies.
Michael and Lavender have been apart of the DA from the beginning, they would have interacted before last chapter ;) Michael probably doesn't really REALLY love her, but he's a broken man in need of some hope. Lavender is that hope for him. I know I kinda just pushed them together, but I think Lavender is the type to fall in love in an instant and to show that love, and Michael was more than willing to take the love she was giving.
I have.like half a page of chapter three written. It's HARD because the battle starts so there's a lot of action and not a lot of talking/deep interaction between characters. More of the relationship stuff will be explained next chapter!! I hope to have it written and posted before the end of this year *crosses fingers* but I've got a lot of other projects that are taking priority right now lol
Thanks again for the awesome review :D Report Review
I love reading stories about canon events from non-major characters, and you did a great job with this. I loved the idea of this being his own internal winter. How he just feels kind of cold and distant and wants it to all be over so things can go back how they were. I think that's so realistic.
I don't know much about Michael Corner, but he seems like one of those characters that doesn't have as much invested in the war. Yes, he's part of the resistance. Yes, he's there to fight, but he doesn't have the excitement or the determination of some of the others. He's doing it because it needs to be done, but he really doesn't want to be involved.
You've set up his characterization well. I'm excited to read the rest of the chapters, although I'm a bit concerned for him if Lavender is his partner, since we know things don't turn out so great for her...
(Ravenclaw)Author's Response: THANKS FOR THE REVIEW!!!
This review (and the one you left for chapter two) made me SOO HAPPY!!!
I don't normally get a lot of reviews after I first post something, so this was refreshing. :D
Michael's internal conflicts are a major part of this story. In this chapter, he's done. He's beyond his limit and he just wants everything to end. He feels like he is no longer welcome in his own world and he's shut out in the cold. His struggles will progress, but I'll leave it up to you to decide if things get better or worse for him.
It's not necessarily that he's not invested, it's that he's fought so much already that he's past his breaking point. He's pretty much shutting down, he knows he has to fight, but he's gotta fix himself (or start too) before he can become invested in anything.
The thing about Lavender...I wrote this before the movie confirmed that she had in fact died during the battle...so I was planning on playing with that a bit (movie kinda stole my thunder). But yeah, Lavender meets her fate, and Michael reacts :P
Thanks again for the review :D Report Review
Haha I haven't even read the chapter yet, but I really like what you're doing with the chapter titles and seasons thing :P Okay, time to read...
Haha, House Cup comment from Luna :P I can't believe I still caught that...O.o Wowzers, Michael needs to watch someone smear makeup all over their face or something to cheer him up :P War makes people like that sometimes though. Good, human, character there. I love seeing a well done character we dont see much of in canon, as opposed to slapping one static personality on them and leaving it. Great job HBSSP :)
He grew 6 inches?! Is he Hagrid's kid? Or is this a naughty line I'm missing the point of? :P Hey, kissing! Woot! *wolf whistles* But its pretty sweet :) Hand holding, huh? Wonder where that came from...
Oh but hey, I must point out the wrong "there" here - "They simultaneously pulled there wands out and prepared for what was to come." Should be their :P
But I can overlook that one, because I love you. Yeah, thats right stalk-y people reading other people's reviews. She's my girl. So don't be gettin' any ideas. But do review. You're already reading other people's reviews. You took the time to read my review, so why not use that time to leave one yourself? Yeah, you feel pretty bad now, huh?
Great story honey bear,
your KangaAuthor's Response: Hahaha yeah I'm really bad at titles so this seemed like the safest course to take. :P
Yeah gotta love Luna!!! I had to throw her in there because of my love for her!
Yeah the war took a lot out of Michael, he's pretty much had it with life and he's basically ready to throw in the towel and just quit. But he's got a bit of Gryffindor courage left in him :P
Hehehe well guys grow a lot!!! lol Yeah I had to throw in some kissing!! Emotions are heightened and they needed to release SOME sort of tension :P Why not through kissing and hand holding?
Drat it!!! I hate there/their/they're!
I love you too kanga!!!
Thanks for the AWESOME review :)
Loved it. Seriously. I haven't read anything in a long time, but this was definitely great :) And hey, there's another chapter! Lol I didn't even realize that when I just read this :P Grammar's good, plot's excellent, character's are perfect (Just like you) :)
If you'd like a bit of nitpicking, here in this bit "Even if Potter came through the portrait and told us he was here to fight..." you switch to first person with the 'us' there. But I LOVE the comment about Michael's own winter. Great phrasing there :)
Did you expect anything but a 10 out of 10? Well you shouldn't, because this is great :) Writing's just one more thing you're amazing at, but I already knew that :)
Love ya honey bear :DAuthor's Response: YAY!
Thanks for the review!! Seriously made my day :D
Yes there is another chapter (and two more half finished chapters), so more for you to review lol.
You nitpicker!!! hehe just kidding. Yeah I tend to switch from 3rd to 1st when I'm not paying close enough attention. Opps my bad :P
Thanks so much for the awesome review!!!
I spotted an error: He quickly ducked hi head to hide his own blush. I do believe you meant his rather than 'hi'. That's okay, it's any easy enough mistake to make when typing quickly.
Other than that I didn't pick up on any grammatical or spelling errors, so that's all peachy!
I love your continuing growing characterizations of Lavender and of Michael. I admire this pairing as it's one I've never seen in any other story and that's saying something as I've been on HPFF for some time. I really want to give Michael a hug. As for Lavender, she's actually likable. I hate you for making me like her, it was clever of you.
In the books I kind-of want to take a shovel and whack her face in, but that's just me. Enough violence to fictional characters. :P
While brief, your characterizations in this were quite lovely. I particularly liked the last line: Michaelís new life gave him the courage to face what was to come, and the strength to live through the night and greet the dawn with the girl he loved by his side. It just stuck with me, and it was very poignant and lovely. He may not be a Gryffindor, but he has so much courage to assert. That's lovely.
I think it's a good thing to point out that not only Gryffindors have courage.
Great work with this, I absolutely adore it!
Keep up the goodness that is this story!
Linders (with a new HPFF account)Author's Response: Yay for random pairings!!! I am a fan of them :P and I was kinda disappointed with the lack of original pairings on HPFF so I decided to add this new one :P
I wanted to make Michael very 'I wanna hug him'-able if that makes sense. The war has taken a lot out of him and he's just about had it. hehe I liked making Lavender more likeable, I wouldn't have chosen her if I didn't think she had that potential to be liked.
Wow it sounds like I'm rambling.
Again, thanks for reading this!! And thanks for leaving such an awesome review!!!
Hey there, PP! I haven't talked to you in forever. But I noticed you posted a request on TDA for a banner, and I was curious to see what you had written.
I was definitely going to say that this looked like something that could fit into the House Collaboration.
I think that you did a terrific job with this!
I really liked your characterizations of Michael and Lavender. They are two characters that most people seem to hate on principal, but you gave them depth and personality. I didn't hate either of them in this story, and this is truly saying something, as much as Lavender annoys me.
I really liked your descriptions, too. They were very well written, and quite nice.
I particularly enjoyed this line: His winter didnít seem so cold anymore as he looked at her and smiled. I don't know why, but it seems like a fitting ending, and struck me as oddly profound.
I read this really quickly, but there were no spelling or grammatical errors that I picked up on. So great job! I really do appreciate pieces that have that polished look.
I really enjoyed this piece, and I'm so excited to see you writing more!
Keep up the good work!
LindersAuthor's Response: Linders!
Thanks so much for the review!!!
Yeah me and time management aren't the best of friends :P I'm late with this review response and I was late in finishing up this story. Opps. So it didn't make it in the collab hehe.
Haha I tried to take two little known characters and give them there own personalities. Or rather, expand on the personalities JKR gave them. I used to hate canon Lavender too, until I realized that there HAD to be more to her then met the eye or why would she be in Gryffindor. SO I gave her a little spruce :P
Yeah I had fun writing this and I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
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