that was unbelievably sad. You were able to build up the anticipation really well and beautifully and I found myself dreading the end :'( especially because we know that Mrs Figg is such a nice lady later on, and just seeing this take on her as a little girl makes it all the worse! So good job with this very original, very well written piece! :DAuthor's Response: I never quite know how to respond to reviews about how sad or heartbreaking my stories are, except to be grateful that I've managed to evoke an emotional response. I love to explore different sides to the minor characters we pay so little attention to, and I'm glad I've been able to do that with Arabella. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Poor Arabella! I never thought about how squibs felt when they didn't receive their letter. Report Review
Oh Arabella, we know she's a Squib, but she's just so painfully unaware.
+ I don't know why, but I really liked the image at the end:
"The sun shone through the window, casting an orange glow on the wall opposite. She could hear the fading sound of the dawn chorus, see the dew on the grass as she looked through the names still smudged on the glass. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin.
A single tear slid down her cheek as she traced the words with a shaking finger.
The letter would never come." Report Review
Short and sad. I think you could have expanded it a little, made it more descriptive. But its perfect as it is so maybe not. I haven't read any stories on Arabella Figg before so I can't compare, but this is beautiful and tragic at the same time.
I can even identify with her. I not even embarrassed to admit that I waited for my owl on my eleventh birthday too.
xx Report Review
I had a tear in my eye. Report Review
Oh, how horrible for poor Arabella. I can empathize with the feeling of not getting the chance to go to that magical school, but it's even worse for her with her magical family getting to go. I'd rather be a Muggle and not know magic existed at all.
Poor, unfortunate Squibs :'(
It was short, sweet and nicely written. c: Report Review
Wow. This is really good! I'd never really thought about what it must be like for squibs to not get their letters. Poor Bella. I loved the discriptions you gave, the brightness of the morning and then how the day faded with her hopes. I felt so sorry for her. I loved how poignent this was and how it got the story across simply without being too long. This, again, was a beautiful piece of writing from you. You really are an amazing writer :D Report Review
Loved this one-shot! A+ for creativity, originality, writing, and excellent grammar! Report Review
So Sad!!! You're writing style for this is completely different to your writing style for the greek one, but it's still amazing. It's so emotional, and it flows so beautifully. At first, when i saw the word count, I thought the shortness might be a problem, but I think that the way it flows from morning to day to night to morning is so stunning, it gives the piece an almost filmlike quality.
The way she told her it would be okay o.o The way her father knew she was a squib. It is so heartbreaking!
The only thing I have to say about this is that it would be really cool if you made it sort of a two-shot and did one about Filch, I think that if you could make the reader feel for him the way you made the reader feel for Arabella (the crazy cat lady) in this, it would be utterly amazing.
xx Report Review
Wow. That was really good! I love the change in mood of the story. How the story started with the bright hopefulness of childhood and ended darker, as if she has lost some innocence. That was really sad and really really well done. It had a lot of impact for such a short piece. You really made me smile with the anticipation at the start and I was hurting for her by the end.
Well done Report Review
I knew this was going to be a sad story. I never thought about how it must be to be a squib. Not really fitting in to either world. Her hopes crushed on her birthday makes it worse. Great story. You caputred her heartache beautifully. Report Review
I was practically sobbing when I read the summary. I think you do a really good job of showing the emotional aspect of being a Squib. As a child, it must have been devastating. The thoughts of Arabella are perfect, that stubborn, refusing-to-believe that the letter isn't coming mind-set. It's quite heart-wrenching.Author's Response: I never know whether to thank a reader or apologise when they say it made them cry - but I suppose it's the highest praise I can ask for. Thank you for this review, this story is one of my favourites and I'm glad you found it so powerful. Report Review
Very interesting. Even though it was short, I loved the writing.Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it :) Report Review
I can't say better than that :'( Report Review
I don't get it Arabella Figg was a witchAuthor's Response: She was a Squib, actually. Report Review
I really liked this, i felt so sorry 4 Arabella! Peace, from peace2lovepotter xxxAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! Report Review
I think because this was so short, it made it more real, sadder. I was actually like "Oh God", because obviously I knew it couldn't end well. I was just scrolling down your page and saw this and-went woah, this is really different. So, so well done. So powerful! Wow! So glad I read this :)Author's Response: Thank you! This is actually one of my favourite stories and I'm glad it's been so well recieved. I'm glad to be able to write stories that are different to the others out there, and for this one it was really a case of untold canon. Really glad you liked it, and thanks again for the review! Report Review
What a shame for Arabella. It must have been heart breaking for an eleven year old from a magical family to realise that they would never see the inside of Hogwarts. But she still took part in the magical world. She was assigned by Dumbledore to watch over Harry when he was with the Dursley's. A well worded one shot and tenderly well thought out. 10/10.Author's Response: I know, right? I started thinking about that one day and just had to write her story. I think she's incredible. Report Review
Oh, how could you write a story so utterly heartwrenching in so few words? I absolutely loved it. The descriptions were beautiful and the image of her writing the names of the houses with her finger on the window was just perfect.
A great little find :)Author's Response: Thank you so much, you just made my day :D Report Review
AHHH I love this. This is so quietly sad. It's the tracing on the window. That really got to me. It's such an innocent thing to do, but it carries so much of her hopes and dreams. And the passage of time, I really liked how you described all the other mail that arrived.
(Nitpicky, but one of the first things that I noticed was this line "At a roughly hewn table in the kitchen sat a girl.", and it sort of threw off the flow I think because of how it's phrased and how it gets its own line)
But I really really like this. It's more than the stigma of being a squib, something that isn't perhaps entirely apparent to an eleven-year-old; it's about her dreams and not being able to get the one thing she wanted more than ever.Author's Response: Thank you! Whenever I come back to this fic and think about Arabella's situation it makes me sad all over again, and I'm glad I've managed to portray some of that through my writing. It was really important to make the disappointment she felt real, so I'm glad I pulled it off. Thanks for the review! Report Review
The reason that I opted to read and review this story was mainly because the main protagonist of this story happened to a relatively minor character, and as many people know, I abolutely LOVE stories that iclude minor characters, they open up so many possibilities.
I like the storyline that you've chosen to weave into Arabella's life; to me it's a very defining moment for her as she's a squib and we as readers know little else about her.
It was a short, sweet, flawless piece of writing with a lovely use of description incorporated in there. This is going straight into my favourites.
KatieAuthor's Response: This is actually my only story with a minor character, though I agree that they do open up many possibilities; since writing this I've actually thought of many other aspects of Arabella's life and am considering writing a sequel :P I think the defining moment for any Squib would be that confirmation that they're never going to Hogwarts, and I wanted to capture that. Thank you so much for the lovely review, and I'm thrilled that you're favouriting it :) Report Review
Aww, poor Arabella. I felt very bad for her during this. I'd never really thought about how squibs would feel when their letters didn't come. I guess that woudl be horrible, knowing that the magical world existed, but never getting to be part of it yourself. You really seemed to capture that feeling well in this one-shot.
I thought you did a good job of making Arabella seem very innocent and like a child, waiting for her letter. You did great with characterizing her. She definetly seems like an eleven year old girl.
This was a little short, but I liked it. The length worked well with the story, making sure that you got the feeling across and didn't ramble on with it. I liked how short it was.
Overall, I thought this was really well-written. My favourite part was probably how she wrote the names of all of the houses on the window. I thought that was kind of cute. Keep up the great work and happy holidays!Author's Response: Thank you so much! This was my first attempt at writing a child; I've always found it a remarkably difficult thing to do, so I'm really glad I've pulled that off. It is intentionally short; I think I've put as much into it as I need to. Once again, thanks for the review and happy holidays to you too! Report Review
Hey Ravenclaw333. Alopex here for a Snowball Fight! :P
Aw, I could just feel Arabella's disappointment! It felt very realistic the way she sat there and kept trying to convince herself that the owl was lost, or that some had to go back before being sent out again, or whatever other excuses she came up with. We humans really do that, trying to convince ourselves of something even after we figure out the truth.
How disheartening it must be to hear about all these fabulous magical things all your life, only to be crushed by the realization (at the tender age of eleven!) that you will never be a part of it. You can only watch from the side. I cannot begin to comprehend her disappointment.
The last two lines are well-crafted, in my opinion. They bring the emotion of the piece home.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review :) The disappointment was at the forefront of my mind when I first thought about Squibs--exactly how you said, that they'd be watching on the sidelines, in the wizarding world but not part of it, and I had to write about it. I'm glad I pulled it off; it's not something people think about much and I wanted to do it justice. Report Review
Hey, I'm here for the Snowball Fight! :D
Such a beautiful story. I never, like so many people, thought about how devastating it would be for a squib to realise they wouldn't be getting their letter. You portrayed it wonderfully with emotion.
I also liked how the last paragraph was very similar to the first, showing the start and end of that very important day.
Sophia xAuthor's Response: Yay for the Snowball Fight! :D
Thank you. A lot of people have said they've never thought about that aspect of being a squib, so I'm glad to have written it and done it justice. Happy holidays to you too! :) Report Review
Wow. A truly sad story :(
Poor Arabella… a character not very much written… but you characterised her perfectly… and you portrayed her feelings and emotions very well, so that I felt very sympathetic to her.
Well written!Author's Response: Thanks so much! Portraying the emotions was really important, so I'm glad I did it well. Thanks again for the review! :) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection