Hah, that's funny "For anything that didn't have glitter or kittens on it." That was Molly, right? You know, that made those?

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Hey there!

This seems like an interesting story. I like your characterisation of Lily so far. She does seem a little "mature" in her thoughts for an eleven year old though, or maybe it's just me who found it so. Nevertheless, I liked the way her thoughts flowed, and the worries she had because of her dream.

The interactions between her and James were also realistically portrayed, as that is how brother-sister relationships usually are, so good job. I also liked the small moment of concern that James showed for Lily before jumping back into the usual teasing.

The dream was retold by Lily's thoughts nicely too, though I'd have liked more description as dreams are best shown vividly.

I also liked how you maintained a balance between humour and suspense/anxiety throughout. I was curious about her dream and such, and at the same time was enjoying the banter between James and Lily. I liked the ending too, it ended on a worrisome yet interesting note and got me intrigued for the next chapter.

All in all, good start of the story. Keep writing!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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I love how you incorporated the old with the new in this beginning chapter. The old wording of the Hogwarts letter to the addition of the new rules really ties the story to the time period and how different the school must really have been after the battle. The sibling rivalry and caring nature was very well written. Lily's mysterious dreams are intriguing and really draw the reader in. Your writing style keeps them guessing on who it might be and what they might want. I love how this first chapter was written in Lily's point of view and your details were great. It really drew a picture in my mind's eye on what her room might have looked. Great job.

~Celtic~

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Well-written, and definitely a different take on a next-gen piece. Most have more to do with James, Albus, and Rose than Lily. Can't wait to read more, it's great so far :)

Author's Response: Thanks :) I feel like Albus, James and Rose were really highlighted in the Epilogue and I wanted to try out the one Potter girl, just for fun. Thanks for reviewing! :D

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