Reading Reviews for The Book of Secrets
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by qtbaby88 Trials and Tribulations

6th June 2011:
Wow amazing please post soon

Author's Response: thank you! I'll Work on the next chapter ASAP

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Review #2, by Raielle Trials and Tribulations

11th December 2010:
The plot certainly is interesting! I like that Hermione is a doctor; it suits her well. I liked the flashback as well! It was nice to see that Blaise had changed a bit, but was still his Slytherin self. After all, we Slytherin's never do change!

Yes, there are a lot of grammatical errors, so you may want to consider getting a beta. The plot is good though, I like the fact that Hermione and Blaise are in America.

Good start!

Author's Response: I am in the process of getting a beta: nobody wants to beta it. I appreciate your review and i'm glad that you liked it.

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Review #3, by sinwillys822 Trials and Tribulations

6th December 2010:
i am liking the story so far, just on a side note though remember the grammar say i before e except after c.

Author's Response: Oh, thanks i'll keep that rythme in mind. Your amazing. Thank you for reviewing.

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Review #4, by lunalovegood520 Trials and Tribulations

5th December 2010:
Interesting concept, very original!

I would recommend fleshing the chapters out more - some more insight on Blaise and Hermione's characters would be really interesting and would add a lot to your plot. :)

Again, very original!

Author's Response: Thank you. I'll keep that in mind when writing the next chapter.

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Review #5, by lunalovegood520 Expectations

5th December 2010:
An interesting first chapter!
I really liked the image you've created with Hermione coming into the office and the introduction to her job. Definitely some creative ideas there :)

I know that you're aware of this, but just wanted (briefly) to recommend you re-read over your chapter to correct grammar/spelling errors.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I'm working on getting a Beta and then i'll revise my chapter for sure. I'm glad you liked the imagery i used.

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Review #6, by philly94 Trials and Tribulations

1st November 2010:
Great start, your descriptions are amazing! I could picture Hermione's office when you were describing it.
Overall, the plot line is good. I know that it's the first two chapters and it's hard to get everything up and running, but it seems good.
There's a few spelling and grammar errors, words capitalized when they shouldn't be and such, so just watch for those.
Other than that, great job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review... I know about the grammar... i'm looking for a beta with no luck so far.

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Review #7, by draconian88 Expectations

31st October 2010:
Hi! This is Saeli from the forums, here for your review.

Whilst reading through your work, I would like to suggest something; it would be details. Try adding details into your stories to lead the reader into imagining what's in your head. Great writers in a way are like painters. Their canvas is the readers mind, and the medium they use are words. Adding details, I also find, add interest for the reader. Have you read Anne Rice's work? She has a way with details that would take you away and make you feel like you are actually there. JKR too has that magic :).

I also noticed that the flow was slightly fast paced. If you are planning for this story to be a Novella, then by all means take your time in developing your story.

I hope the suggestions I made helped you in some way.

-draconian88

Author's Response: I'll try to work on revisions when i get a beta. Thank you for the review

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Review #8, by Maybe Someday Expectations

28th September 2010:
Short chapter, but it was the first, so I'll let it slide. : )
Looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Glad you liked it, i'll try to make the next one longer.

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Review #9, by KinionShip Expectations

24th September 2010:
Hello, Judi_Malfoy here with your review.

Ok, so it was a short chapter, but it was the first chapter so that can slide.

Secondly, this is just me wondering...but why did you space it so much.

Thirdly, read over and you'll find some grammar errors. Nothing really big, but you'll see them.

And finally, my actual review:

Ok, so it was good. It was a bit fast paced though and some parts left me confused. But I am hooked. I'll be waiting for chapter two.

Author's Response: Glad you liked it. I am looking for a beta so i know there are errors and i plan to fix them as soon as possible. I'll get chapter to updated hopefully soon. As to spacing i was not aware thank you for pointing it out, i'll revise that.

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Review #10, by Ravenclaw333 Expectations

14th September 2010:
I can't really comment on your areas of concern as yet with only one chapter, sorry. I did warn you that I am like your English teacher when it comes to spelling and grammar, so I hope you'll forgive me for picking a few bones.
1. Capitalisation: You capitalise some words that really don't need to be capitalised: carpet, children's, walls, etc, and remember I and the start of sentences need capitalisation.
2. Spelling: There are a few errors with regard to spelling; spell check on your word processor should show them.
3. Punctuation: There are a few places where you've missed question marks, but overall it's not too bad.
4. Tense: You change tense halfway through from present to past, try and keep it consistent.
I've deliberately avoided correcting individual errors in this review, but if you want me to I'd be quite happy to, just let me know on the forum. Sorry about all the technical aspects, it seems an interesting idea so far :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much. As to spelling, my word Processor does not have spell check so i'll go back and find those. I'm looking for a Beta for this but no luck so far. Your review means a lot to me.

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