Awesome story :) x Report Review
The story was good. Really made me feel like I was having one of my own sleepovers! But I distinctly remember Goyle burning to death in the war. But other than that it was pretty great.Author's Response: Thanks!
Yeah I knew that but maybe he had other family members that survived. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
This is a unique story in that the main character isn't exactly... likeable. At all. In fact, I have a difficult time not being disgusted with her. Bella is a very strong character. As for advice: I really have none, because anything I would change would pretty much destroy the plotline of the entire story, as far as I can tell. But please, please, please: be careful with the other characters and their reactions to her.
Another thing: I had a very hard time relating to her at all, which is dangerous because the reader's connection or lack thereof to a character can make or break a story. Just keep that in mind. :)
Um, yeah. That's all I really have to say!Author's Response: thanks a ton! Good advice! Report Review
Going on Hushpuppy's review.
*rubs face* I counted 14 guys she's done it with and she's what, barely 16?! And she's slept with those guys within the time span of a little over a year?! I get that this is a story, but make sure that you have people react to her in a realistic manner.
What I'm basically trying to say is that she's not going to be popular with a large part of the population of Hogwarts; in fact I'd say that Petra, Kayla, and Gabby may be her only real friends, seeing as they all appear to be quite comfortable with each other in this chapter. Girls are going to be beyond vicious, or distance themselves from her (with a mindset of "they try not to care about her sex life, but they still have reserved judgments about it" or something like that).
And the guys? I'd say her reputation would be known among the guys - especially the older ones, since at least half of those guys she's slept with so far are upperclassmen. Guys are either going to be looking to her for a hookup, stay very far away from her, or just try and keep it cool and casual.
Remember all of those rumors about Harry that he had to deal with throughout school that spread like wildfire? There's going to be a variation on a theme that will happen to her. And more importantly, depending on if you want Bella and James to be serious in the end, his family is NOT going to like her. The stories about her will have reached any number of the kids and they will have gotten to Harry and Ginny's ears. Yeah, Ginny dated a bit in Hogwarts, but JKR pretty much implied that she snogged, and was a typical teenager that dated as much as one might change socks. What's more typical is a teenager that goes on regular dating with a handful of guys (or girls) for short periods of time that last anywhere from two weeks to two months. Snogging/making out might be the farthest that they go.
But this is a boarding school, so there's only so many places a teenage couple can go to be alone. Bella has gone above and beyond, and I don't see Ginny being accepting of that at all, ESPECIALLY when one of her children is involved with her. In fact, if Ginny is aware of Bella's reputation, I can see her have an attitude of, "it's her life, and I don't care about it as long as she stays away from my boys and doesn't influence Lily."
And of course she hasn't, as she's got quite a dramatic past with James.
This is most definitely your story, so you can mold Bella into any type of character you want, and that's clearly your prerogative; no one can stop you from doing so. But because her lifestyle at her age is a wildly unpopular one and one that's frowned upon, you need to be almost hyper-aware to make sure the way people interact with her is portrayed in a realistic light; and it's not going to be a positive one. Her friends are going to be few, but I imagine they're going to be ones that she can trust without question.
It looks like you've got Bella as someone who doesn't care very much about what people think. Which brings me to the other thing I'm concerned about; her own reaction to the negative reaction of others. Having her not caring is going to be incredibly refreshing and interesting to read about. And I definitely feel that is one realistic route that you can take.
I'll admit right now; I'm not a very big fan of Bella at the moment. But she is definitely refreshing and different to read about. But as you write the story, just make sure that everyone's reaction to Bella is portrayed in a realistic light.Author's Response: Thank you so much! i understand now that Bella isn't a very realistic story, so thank you for that, but as you said, its a story. I see her being friends only with Petra, Kayla, and Gabby, along with a few family members, so good guess! ( if thats what it was, a prediction or something) I hope as the story progresses you are satisfied!
LoonyLady Report Review
Great story! Bella is quite refreshing from your typical sweet and innocent girls you normal see in James/OC. Can't wait to see where you take this!Author's Response: thank you! Report Review
She's a bit of a slag, isn't she? I stopped counting when she stopped naming them and that was only when she was 15. I'm not a teenager and I have to ask if it's viewed as good (these days) to have that many sexual partners before you've graduated post-secondary education? It seems slutty and kinda gross to me but maybe everyone these days has sex with every viable guy they know?Author's Response: No, it's not normal for girls to have sex with every guy they know, at least not to my knowledge. She is supposed to be a slag who sleeps around a lot. She's most likely had sex much more than anyone her age in real life, but this is a story right? Anyways, thanks a ton for reviewing, hope this answers our question.
Monica Report Review
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