Reading Reviews for All that matters
  
22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lady Asphodel All that Matters

29th January 2014:
Hello! I'm Alishya from the common room - reviewing the above. :)


So... onto my review!



It's great how you start it off so dark and very mysteriously! :) You did brilliantly with building up the suspense... When I read this, I can clearly see this in my mind... as if I was watching a movie. I definitely loved how you didn't give away that the character was James because even though I knew from the summary it was about him and Lily, I had thought in the beginning you were writing through an OC point of view. And finally towards the ending - was an absolute - OMG moment! The ending was unbelievably cute and a great way to end this one shot! You did a great job throwing in that twist because I assumed something bad was happening to Lily - but gladly that wasn't the case! And you really brought out the fatherly emotion from James! And I loved how you made him forget all about the healer and just let his whole focus remain on Harry and Lily. ♥

Bravo for writing this! I enjoyed it immensely!


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much for this nice review!

I'm so glad you fell for this story and were surprised by the ending; I'm always very happy when the readers don't see it coming :)

I'm really touched by your comments when you say that you could see it clearly. I remember working quite a lot on the descriptions in this story so I'm really happy that you thought it was well done.

Haha well obviously James would forget about the healer, what with all the emotions he went through that night!

Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate it !


 Report Review

Review #2, by CloakAuror9 All that Matters

31st January 2013:
The first I did after I finished reading your story? Let out a relieved sigh! I didn't even realise I held my breath until the end. I really thought James was going to find Lily stabbed or something equally horrendous when he saw the blood. This was a really clever idea that, no doubt, has its readers at the edge of their seats. :P

The imagery was beautiful! You do well with dark, angsty descriptions, I think. I almost felt like I was walking alongside James and the owl that swooped down at him made me jump a bit too. Hahahha.

The element of surprise, the well-written chapter and just everything about this is perfect! A really great job! ♥

~Izzy

90th review out of 100

 Report Review

Review #3, by CambAngst All that Matters

8th April 2012:
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.

Wow. I can't even explain how much you had me going with this one. The tension that you created through the scenery and James's reactions was amazing. I was absolutely convinced that he was going to find Voldemort in the room with Harry and Lily. The persnickety part of me was even ready to point out how the Killing Curse wouldn't have left any blood. ;)

So there was one thing that seemed a bit odd. If James started off "about one mile to the left of the small house", it's unlikely that he would have been able to tell the difference between candlelight and an electric light bulb. A mile is a really long way. It's nit-picking, but it jumped out at me.

Otherwise, I thought the story was flawless. The pace was great, the narrative flowed really nicely and James's thoughts seemed very consistent with a man who fears for his life and the safety of his family. Lily's reaction was perfect!

I really enjoyed reading this.

Author's Response: Hi and so sorry for the delay in my response. My writter's block is still intact but I do have the motivation to go through my unanswered reviews at least which is an improvement in my situation, I find!

This story was a lot of fun to write and you'd be surprised at how many people don't get it... I'm glad I could mess with you a bit with it though, that always feels nice!!!

You know, after reading your comment I went to check what "one mile" really was and you are right! In my country, we don't use this same mesurements so I didn't think to check and to me, well it seemed quite alright. Now though, I'll go change it because this is the kind of detail that bothers me as well.

Thanks again for this review, it was insightful and I will correct the detail right away :)


 Report Review

Review #4, by Jellytots All that Matters

7th March 2012:
:') that was amazingg

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know!!

 Report Review

Review #5, by Your Secret Santa :) All that Matters

30th December 2011:
Hello again :) Back for another review of another lovely story. This was such a nice one shot! I loved the mystery of the figure at first, how we didn't know it was James. It added so much suspense :) The ending was so funny and unexpected too, Lily's reaction was priceless. And James' thoughts about Harry were just...just aww :D Such a sweet moment... Great job writing this, it was amazing.

Happy New Year!

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm glad you enjoyed this story and how it was built. Creating the mystery and suspense was a new thing for me at that point and I'm glad it worked and you got surprised by the ending.
It was fun to write that scene between the three of them, and imagining how James must have felt, holding his son for the first time. It was pretty much the accomplishement of his life, you know? Since he was eleven, he vanted to be with that girl and now, they had created life together, what more could he ask for?

Thanks for your kind words and for all your lovely reviews!


 Report Review

Review #6, by Secret Santa! All that Matters

18th December 2011:
Hello :)

I'm back with another review from your Secret Santa.
Oh I love the plot! I was not expecting that ending AT ALL! I was preparing myself for a do-or-die fight scene or a tension-filled deal or something along those line - but definetely not a baby Harry!

You've got the tension from the war down completely. I've always seen James as the joval joker but it makes sence for him to be more withdrawn and tense when coming home.

'The golden light reflected on the thick fog that had settled on the village, giving the cottage an eerie feeling' - that right there just set the creepy scene and set me off wondering what I was going to find.

Quick note, in the first paragraph I think you used 'them' instead of 'they' -just so you're aware :)

I also loved Lily's characterisation, although she only said one line;
'James Potter,' came Lilyís exasperate whisper. 'Revive the Healer this instant!'
- it made em smile because I would just imagine her saying something like that.

Hope you carry on with this and I look forward to reading more :)

Until next time,
Secret Santa

Author's Response: SANTA again!

Oh I,m so glad you enjoyed this story and was surprised by the ending! I wasn't so sure it would work at first but the reaction is pretty good apart from a couple people.
James and Lily were fun to create and I'm glad I managed to give Lily's personality through that single line.

Thanks for such a nice review and for pointing out that error, I'll fix it as soon as the queue opens up again!


 Report Review

Review #7, by ginerva_molly_weasley All that Matters

6th December 2011:
I absolubtley love this!

The detail at the beginning is amazing showing us the exact setting as well as building up the tension which made me just want to move on.

I love the way you gave the little twist about James thinking Lily was being hurt by someone and stunning the healer made me laugh as it seems to be the irrational behaviour someone would have if they thought someone they loved was being hurt.

The way you've portrayed his instant bond with Harry is just amazing and you show you're skills as an excellent writer.

Well done!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!

I had a great time writting this, trying to make it something else than what it really is. I was afraid people wouldn't buy it but the reaction is surprisingly positive.
As for the bond between James and Harry, well I can't imagine it any other way. James is such an intense person; one that gives himself, body and soul, to the things he loves and so he would fall straight in love with his son.

Thanks again for your kind words, I've never considered myself a good writter (self critique much?) but I do take your words to heart and it makes my day!


 Report Review

Review #8, by xxJazminexx All that Matters

23rd November 2011:
That was adorable! A little short but I loved it anyway. The way you never actually said in the story who the man was or what was happening till like the last paragraph was great. When I saw the word 'blood' I was like NO! She cant die, that's not right xD But now im relieved :) and that poor lady and animal. Nothing gets in the way of James and his Lily!

Amazing
x

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this nice review!
I love this story a lot and I'm glad that, for most people, the effect works. And yes, poor lady and owl... I should add a note saying that they did not "really" get injured in the making of this story!! Thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #9, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap All that Matters

20th November 2011:
I really thought the Healer was a Death Eater and that something terrible was going to happen. You seriously had me on the edge of my seat (or well, bed). What a pleasant surprise! I loved the ending, the way you contrasted the entire piece, first it was dark and then it became light, much happier than I expected.

Nice job! I love babies! :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, I'm glad you were surprised by the ending! I'm so happy that people fell into my evil trap and that they don't even think about the possibility of Lily giving birth to Harry!
Thanks again and, I love babies as well!


 Report Review

Review #10, by Jade Sterling All that Matters

17th November 2011:
I don't even have anything to say, seriously. This is a fantastic one shot. It's absolutely amazing. It was so sweet! Amazing job. Seriously, amazing.

Author's Response: Wow thank you so much for this review. I'm blushing madly over here!! I'm glad you enjoyed that little story, it was one of the first I wrote!

 Report Review

Review #11, by Ronsgirl29 All that Matters

10th August 2011:
Haha, aww! I was not expecting that! The very dark descriptions and then him seeing blood had me scared, and for a second I thought it was going to go AU or something and have Lily be dead! But then it was actually a healer there to help deliver the baby, haha a sigh of relief!

That was a really cute way to set it up, you definitely got me :) And I love the line about James loving Harry as much as Lily and that they were the things that mattered above all else.

Lovely story!
-Ronsgirl29 (Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review, I'm glad I managed to catch you off guard! I had a blast writting this story but I didn't know how people would react to it. I didn't want it to be extremly fluffy but wanted to show what place Harry took in his father's life.
Thanks again for your kind words, I really appreciate it!


 Report Review

Review #12, by gingersnape All that Matters

7th August 2011:
Hello again! Taking a break from Ronald's Box because this had a pretty banner and I couldn't resist! The summary had me hooked, but then I actually got to the story and it blew me away! Your writing was so descriptive and you said so much with so few words! I really felt like I was there and my heart was racing with James' to see if it would all be okay and what would happen. I especially loved how the story began with this sort of anonymous take on the whole thing and it was just candlelight, and then it grew to have more and more action. Just brilliant, so well done! Other than a few spelling and grammar errors that happen with any fic, I don't have much in the way of CC to give you! Keep up the great writing and go Gryffindor!

gingersnape, Gryffindor

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much for such a nice review. I'm so happy you enjoyed the story; it was a risk (some people don't actually get it) so I always love it when people tell me they actually do get it!
The way you described it, going from a small candelight to an entire scene, is exactly how I wrote it! The emotion just wrote itself and I really appreciate you telling me that you enjoyed my writting.
I was trying for a different style with this story and, although I'm not certain I really pulled it off, I think it's a pretty good try at describing with as little words as possible!
Thanks again for your reviews, they are always so helpful, even if it only is to help build my confidence as a writter :)


 Report Review

Review #13, by SexyDoorFrames All that Matters

7th August 2011:
Hello! What a beautiful ending line to end this one shot too. I thought James was beautifully characterized, you really got him and I thought he was perfect. The descriptions you use to capture the moment are gorgeous. They truly fit and add to the story as a whole. I was quite surprised about the ending, but I'm glad it wasn't something depressing, instead it was something as happy as the birth of Harry. I thought you did a great job and I enjoyed reading this.

This is also my 400th review! Wooo!

- SexyDoorFrames, Gryffindor.

Author's Response: Sorry for the horrible lateness in my respond, I've been kept away from my computer and this place for almost a year!!

Thanks none the less for taking the time to review my story, I'm glad you liked the feeling of it!


 Report Review

Review #14, by CoLorful DreaM All that Matters

7th August 2011:
Hey, Akussa!

I must confess the thing that got me to choose this story for RTPAY was the banner - guilty... Then, I got to the summary. It got me thinking you were going to write about the Holloween night James and Lily were killed. Though, I realized that night James was at home and he had no idea of what was going on until the very end... And so, the curiosity made the decision for me and I just knew I have to rad this.
I really liked how you kept the suspense through the whole story. The descriptions made it all dramatic and full of action - I just adored that fact. By the time he used the spell to identificate how many people where in the house, I thought I knew the true. In the end, the true surprised me. He found out there were two persons and I thought that maybe it was Lily who was pregnant and that's how there were 2. Yeah,m it sounds foolish, because I don't think the spell could actually guess the still, practically, yet non-existing person, but well...
I really loved how it turned out. My only complaint would still have to do with the spell. Harry was born already, so there would be 3 persons already, right.
Anyways, I really loved the ending, too. James was so funny... or rather lovely (I rally don't know which word would fit better) for not even mattering the stunned Healer and his wife's demands. Haha! So lovely! Yep, 'lovely' is the word!

Ramona
Gryffindor

Author's Response: Sorry for the horrible lateness in my respond, I've been kept away from my computer and this place for almost a year!!

Thanks none the less for taking the time to review my story, I'm glad you liked the feeling of it!


 Report Review

Review #15, by daliha All that Matters

6th August 2011:
Aww I panic and thought the Healer was a Death Eater for a moment there :P The way James feels about Harry is realistic, at least that what I've heard some people say.

It was a lovely and I'm glad to have read it :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing this little story of mine! I'm glad you got a reaction to the healer; it means my evil plan worked !!!
Your kind words mean the world to me, thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #16, by In The Shadows I Dwell All that Matters

6th August 2011:
Hi there!
InTheShadowsIDwell from the forums here with your review! I must say, I was absolutely captivated by the banner as I scrolled through your Author's Page, there's something so captivating about such a dark and mysterious banner I simply had to read it. I particularly love how your first line completely set the scene for the entire story, there is something rather unnerving about darkness, and I felt that you really captured this situation perfectly, in particular your characterisation of James, who to me was perfectly in character both in terms of his actions which are often too quick and un-thought through, and in his treatment of Lily and his son, and I think you really highlighted this in the stunning of the Healer, which seemed to come entirely as a defensive reaction to the situation and really showed the danger of the world they were living in.

Your writing is beautiful, I have to say, it was very descriptive (something I really enjoy when reading) and you've captured the emotions of James well, to the point where they are completely and utterly believable! I particularly loved the plot of this small piece, you've managed to capture such an amazing moment in such a short space of time! Well done!

- In The Shadows I Dwell
(Gryffindor)

Author's Response: Alright, this is ackward... I'm really sorry for the delay but can you believe I am finally getting to your review seven months later? Yeah, things got a bit out of my hands in the last couple months and I'm really sorry about the delay.

The banner is awesom, isn't it? I forwarded your compliment to the maker by the way and she thanks you a lot (I don't think a lot of people do that...). As for the story itself, glad it lived up to the banner!!

Your comment about being descriptive makes me very happy because I worked a lot on this aspect in this story so Im glad it showed! Descriptions were also at the heart of this story; in order to set the mood mostly and show what kind of world they were living in. Everything had to be taken like a possible attack and James particularily lost it when it came to his Lily :)

I'm glad you liked it and thank you again for this lovely review. I apologize once more about the delay, I'm really ashamed to have left it go for so long.


 Report Review

Review #17, by moonbaby11 All that Matters

17th September 2010:
This was an interesting story, though I foudn it kind of odd. It just seemed like the story was leadin up to something so dark, evil and angsty, but it was just the birth of a child. It just didn't seem to go together right.

You have quite a few typos here. You might want to look back trhough it and edit.

I'm not sure about the rating, but I think you should keep it where is is. If you really want to know if it's too high, ask a validator.

I liked your characterization of James, though. He seemed rather acurate, being so protective and confused about the birth of his son.

Author's Response: Well Thanks for takng the time to write that down; I really appreciate it!
For the typos, I know, I just had it beta-ed and the new version is on it's way to be validated; I apologise you had to read the one of a lesser quality.
As for the ending, well, that was kind of the point; to build up for something big and for it being not nearly as dramatic as we expect it to be. Don't we all do that at times? Expect the worst to finaly find out we exagerated everything?
Again, thanks for such an honest review, I really appreciate you taking the time to write it down; I know it's a lot harder to do when we have criticism to make, but you did it in a very constructive and helpfull way.


 Report Review

Review #18, by VeniceLily All that Matters

13th September 2010:
Well, this is an interesting idea for a story, in a way. I'm a little bit confused as to why you wrote it the way you did.
Was part of the challenge to make it entirely misleading? I find it very awkward to read, because the first three quarters of the story are dark, and foreboding, and it ends with what would be a funny line in a lighter context, and the birth of a baby boy? It doesn't really make sense, and like I said, i find it awkward to read.

Also, you have numerous typos, and with such a short fic, typos should not be an issue. Even in the first line, it says 'blak' instead of 'black'. Most of them are relatiely minor like this, but it's extremely distracting to the reader.

In terms of the writing, i would suggest varying your descriptions, and your use of words - instead of saying village or cottage repeatedly, say little house, or small town. Quiet home, quaint neighbourhood. Also, I'm unsure of why you didn't use James' name? I didn't think the use of 'the man' was all that effective for this peice.

Overall, I would say the tone of the story is what really throws me off. I was 100% sure James was going to walk up and find Voldemort..
You mentioned about the rating being to high - in my personal opinion, I don't think it is, but that might be something to as a validator, as I don't know the TOS as well.

Your descritions clearly took some thought and effort, so I was impressed with them :). And as I said, it's an interesting idea. I think you just need to take a little more time with your wriing :)

I hope this helps, feel free to PM me if you'd like to discuss anything :)

-Lily

Author's Response: Thank you for such an honest and constuctive review! I am very glad I asked you to review; you give me another point of vue that is very much needed. When people are not that much into a story, they usually don't review so the author only receives praises. But I believe it is essential to receive reviews from people who were a bit put of by the story and the way you present your feeling is clear, constructive and really helpfull. A story cannot please everyone and you show tact in letting me know what you liked less and what could have been done to make it more enjoyable for you. It's not everyone who would like to receive a review like this but I do and I really thank you for your honesty!

 Report Review

Review #19, by Esmerilda All that Matters

13th September 2010:
This is a very sweet story - and the ending was certainly VERY unexpected. I laughed for a while before typing this review. It's so like James to be clueless enough not to know that birth goes along with a great deal of screaming! And then to stun the Healer!

I can't really comment on the rating issue, as I'm not a validater for HPFF. As far as what I think of the intensity of the piece? You went through a great deal of trouble to create angst. Then there is the stunning of the animal and such. I don't think the violent aspect is over the top, but there is the description of a blood-filled scene and lots of screaming. I hope that helps in your own determination. I'm just pointing out both view points.

Please have your work beta'd? There are some typos and a few careless spelling mistakes - not enough to keep a beta busy very long at all, since it is not very serious, but it ruins some of one's enjoyment of your work - and this is a great piece, so it deserves better than that.

Happy writing!
Es

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind review! I followed your recommandation and immediatly requested a beta for this piece (in order to make it more enjoyable to the reader and to have someone show me what I need to work on in my future writting).
Thanks again for your honesty and kindness, I really apreciate the way you point things out!


 Report Review

Review #20, by WhatAboutRegulus All that Matters

12th September 2010:
Spelling errors!: When an owl hooted close to him, the man reacted on instinct and sent a stunning spell at the animal before he even (realised) that it wasnít an (ennemy).

Run on Sentence!: Caught up in his overwhelming stress, his heart beating fast, the man resumed his pace and was back on his way(. Not) even bothering to counter the spell on the innocent animal.

Now for my special reviewing skills :P Just kidding they are not all that special!

I think the rating of this story is where it should be. Only because there is blood and stuff like that and it is about birth. It isn't a 12+ because it wouldn't be 12 under (or so) recommended! But that is only my opinion! At least they didn't make it Mature! That was be wrong. Anyways, onward!

I thought it was a very good one shot! :) James is just as he should be, all protective of Lily (and now Harry). Lily tells James what to do(but her never listened because he is James). Yup everything seems great!

I can totally see James jinxing the medi witch, thinking she was an intruder. I thought it was funny when Lily was yelling at him to revive her!

Basically I think you did a fantastic job on it! Glad you asked me to read it! 10/10

WhatAboutRegulus

Author's Response: Thanks for such a through review; you do have very good reviewing skills and I will certaintly ask you for more in the future!!
I will correct the errors and weird things you pointed out; thank you for taking the time to note them, it is a welcome help in developing my writting skills.
I'm glad you liked my idea and appreciate your kindness, thank you again!


 Report Review

Review #21, by SeverusLove All that Matters

8th September 2010:
LoL...I kinda thought it would be Voldy. But it was nice.

Good Job!
SeverusLove

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! My objective was to make the reader curious about the "unknown person" so I'm very happy to see it worked a little!

 Report Review

Review #22, by philly94 All that Matters

2nd September 2010:
amazing story! i loved it :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I really apreciate you taking the time to let me know you liked it; it's encouraging!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login