Oh my gosh wow! This is the first time I've ever actually believed Harry/Hermione! This is awesome! It all makes so much sense. And I just love the ending it's fantastically well done. I mean, I've always seen Harry/Hermione as a brother-sister relationship to the point where reading it creeps me out but the way you've written it makes me able to look at it from a different perspective. Soo awesome. Nice job thanks for writing!
~madelgrangerAuthor's Response: Hahah, well considering the entire point of the story is that Harry/Hermione just wouldn't happen (if only for the fact that Hermione loved Ron) then I'd hope it'd be a believable way to look at Harry/Hermione. xD
I am certainly glad you enjoyed it! And that, perhaps, it got rid of a bit of the creepy feeling?
Thank you for this lovely review!
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Hm. What an interesting viewpoint to take on. JK makes it so clear how much Hermione thinks of Ron as the only one that you don't think of the little thoughts that could've plagued her in the years over their friendship.
I'm so glad that you had her stay loyal to Ron because while I may be a Dramione writer, I really am a Romione at heart! Plus Harry wouldn't be that mean to Ron by taking Hermione!
xCharAuthor's Response: I think it's totally plausible for Hermione to have had her doubts, even if they weren't strong. Probably just a passing thought, really, but it happens to everyone. Everyone wonders.
Ron/Hermione is definitely my favourite pairing! I couldn't write them apart if I tried. xD
Thank you for the lovely review!
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Hey, orderofthephoenix from the Claws review thread :)
Aw, this is a cute one-shot. Your use of language is brilliant. You use descriptions such as: 'listening as angry words cascaded from my mouth and pounded against his abused ears.' which are so imaginative.
You show how strong Harry & Hermione's bond really is by entertaining the possibility of this being a Harmony fic before revealing she really loves Ron. :)
Spelling and grammar are perfect and I think this is pretty good for a fic written in one day :)
- SophiaAuthor's Response: Hey, thanks!
I'm actually rather fond of this one-shot. I'd definitely like to go back and spend a little more time on it, but it's short and sweet and to the point.
I pretty much think Harmony fics are ridiculous for this very reason: Hermione loves Ron, not Harry. Could she fall in love with Harry? Sure, but she doesn't.
I liked that it seemed like a Harmony fic at first though. That just makes the ending even more powerful.
Thanks for this lovely review!
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Hello there, Zinny (Ilasia) from the forums here with the review you requested! I'll try to address all the concerns you mentioned, and as I said, this review will be divided into two parts:
- You said you were a bit iffy about the beginning being too vague. Personally, I thought the ambiguity was spot-on, in the sense that it adds something extra to the one-shot. It doesn't have the reader thinking that the story is going to be another 'Hermione-loves-Ron-and-she's-telling-us-so' situation, which is really lovely. Also, leaving it vague has us wondering who she could be talking about, and it'll keep us reading on to check up on whether it's Ron or not.
- I enjoyed the concept of this for two reasons: first, you don't see too many Harry/Hermione stories that aren't Harmony and that focus on the unique relationship the two have. This is really a breath of fresh air, your taking on the Harry/Hermione friendship and keeping it platonic - even so, you have Hermione contemplating herself with Harry, which is very realistic. I'd be surprised if the girl hadn't of pictured herself with her best friend at least once during the course of their friendship.
Second reason is because I do love how you have her essentially discussing how Harry is the total package (for lack of a better phrase), and how he's a good man. And yet, she loves what she has in Ron - faults and all - and he's the man for her.
- I found the ending rather confusing. I found myself having to reread it to try and understand whether Hermione was in denial about her loving Harry, or if she was just expressing her strong bon with him. At first, I read it as though she was in denial, but after going back I realized that's not what you meant at all, was it?
I just found it to be a bit abrupt, as she's talking all about how fantastic Harry is in the beginning and then suddenly she's saying she loves Ron. I think it would be beneficial to perhaps stick in a paragraph or so, just having her talk about what she loves about Ron - maybe even taking the 'faults' she describes previously and having her say she fings them endearing and has grown to love his imperfections. I think it would help the overall flow, and have it make a bit more sense.
- As for your summary, I'm partial to short ones, so I implore you to keep it that way. Especially since this one-shot is under 600 words, and I think that a long summary would just contrast against a quick one-shot.
Besides that, I find your two sentences to be almost too contradictory. Love isn't always as simple as everyone makes it out to be sounds very definitive, and then you say it might just be simpler - it's a tad hard to wrap your head around. Perhaps something like "They say love isn't simple as everyone makes it out be. But sometimes, just maybe, it is" would suit it better?
Overall, I did enjoy this. I do hope I covered all the points you mentioned, and feel free to re-request another piece. Hope I helped!Author's Response: Thankies! This was lovely!
I've never really given a ton of thought to Harry/Hermione just because I was ALWAYS a Ron/Hermione fan. So this was really just a bit of challenge for me.
But I think it's pretty much impossible for Hermione to never have thought about the option of being with Harry.
As for the ending, it's supposed to be obvious that she's in love with Ron. *insert blunt statement here*, you know? I didn't really want her to move over to things that she liked about Ron or how she'd grown to enjoy his faults. Because the point was the simplicity of it all. She loves Ron, not Harry. No reasoning, no way to explain it. She just does.
I really like your version of the summary! Definitely changing it to that, thank you. :DDD
And thank you for this awesome review! I will definitely be re-requesting. As you may have seen, I've got a few one-shots looking for love. :P
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I must admit, I am one proud Harmony shipper, and reading through this, I think you really captured the reasons why I think H/Hr is not really as impossible as everyone thinks. Thank you! Haha.
Of course, not all of us who love that pairing are completely delusional. I do understand that Hermione and Ron are meant for each other - they are like two pieces of a puzzle together. They compliment each other, is what I'm trying to say. But then there's always that possibility that Harry and Hermione could work too, except, of course, for the fact that Hermione's in love with Ron, not Harry - the fact that you highlighted beautifully with this story, btw. If you don't mind though, I'd like to ignore that Simple fact for now, because I still think H/Hr is really good together. Okay, so maybe Harmony shippers are a little bit delusional. ^_^
Seriously though, I really enjoyed reading this. I love your Hermione, she's very much in character here. We all know her to be the one to analyze everything, and she's always been good with feelings and stuff like that. It's very much like her to be aware of these things about herself - that she loved Harry but not as much as much as she was in love with Ron (ouch!). Great job! Thank you for writing this! ^_^Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much for this review!
I never really got into the whole Harry/Hermione deal. Probably because I have this weird attraction to redheads, so Ron was always my favorite anyway. :P And I think I caught on to the R/Hr relationship fairly quickly.
But, I can definitely see where people think that H/Hr would be good together. And if circumstances were different, I'm sure it would be a great possibility. I just think it's hilarious how far out some of them go to prove that they should be together. xD
I really enjoyed writing this fic. It was different to look into a doubtful mind rather than the usually certain one Hermione has.
Thank you again for this review!
-Dem- Report Review
That was lovely! Normally I stay very far from anything that might mention Harry/Hermione, but I felt like giving this a try and I am so glad that I did!
At first, it felt to me like you may be describing Ron. I know Harry and him have some similar characteristics, but I felt I was leaning more to Ron at first. You made it pretty obvious though after a few paragraphs, so it may have just been me.
I love the way you wrote Hermione, that she isn't IN love with Harry, though he may be a better guy, Ron is the one for her. I thought that was worded wonderfully! Again great job!
:)BaletGirAuthor's Response: Aww, thank you for trying it out even though it's not your usual deal. I'm sure you were pleasantly surprised that it wasn't really Har/Herm at all. :D
I kinda left it vague with the pronouns at the beginning, and others have thought I was referring to Ron at the beginning as well. So, you're not alone. ^^
That's really the way I think Hermione feels. Harry is a great guy and would probably be a great boyfriend/husband, but Ron (despite, or rather because of his flaws) is the one she fell for.
Thank you for such a lovely review!
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Har/Her FTWeird! ;D
Interesting insight into Hermione's mind with this one. Sounds very much in-character. Perhaps the best part of this is how it shows that the imperfections in the Ron/Her couple are what make it so potent (at least that's how I see it).
Dunno what else to say (not that I ever do), but good story. I liked it a lot.Author's Response: Yup yup! Imperfection is what makes it fun. And at least you reviewed even if you don't know what to say. :P
This made me smile :D I love that even if Harry might be the "better" choice, she knows that she loves Ron too much to ever want anyone else.
All the things she described about Harry is why I think they make great friends, but I could never see them together romantically. She belongs with ron, "simple as that" (;
Great job, 10/10!
-Ronsgirl29Author's Response: Exactly! That is exactly what it is about! I'm really glad you enjoyed it and left such a nice review.
Thanks a ton!
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You know this kinda actually explains the relationship between harry and hermione.well according to me that is...and besides i liked your writingAuthor's Response: Thank you! That's really what I was going for. I mean, I'm sure they both thought of the possibility at some point.
-Dem- Report Review
Hello there! :P It's so awesome leaving reviews for you, because I don't have to be as formal as I normally am because you know me already! It rocks. Anyway, thanks for giving me another challenge story to review (you did it just to spite me, I know it) and a Ron/Hermione one at that! Ugh. I hate you.
...just kidding. I like you lots. On to my review of the story. Because I didn't beta this for you, I'm free to nitpick and point out stuffs! Yay. Here's what I noticed:
- The sentence, "Most of the time heís just being ridiculous, but when youíve lived the life he has, ridiculousness is sometimes just what you need", sounds just a wee bit awkward. I think you intended it to be, "but when you've lived the life I have", because Hermione's talking about how his ridiculousness is sometimes just what she needs, I think? Sorry if I interpreted this wrong, but to me it just seems odd that you'd be saying that sometimes for Ron ridiculousness is just what he needs.
- In the sentence, "Even with all that heís been through, heís so light hearted--jokes dancing off his tongue and filling me with joy", "light hearted" should actually be "lighthearted", unless his heart is particularly pale or it doesn't weigh a lot or something ;P
- I'm not quite sure what you intended by the sentence, "Iím sure he must wonder sometimes, like everyone else, why I stay with Ron", but if you're trying to say she's sure Ron wonders sometimes, then it'd make more sense to have it as, "Iím sure Ron must wonder sometimes, like everyone else, why I stay with him". Or if you're saying Harry must wonder that, it'd be better to clarify that instead of saying just "he", I think.
- This is extremely extremely nit-picky, but since I'm your beta and this is kind of like me betaing this and I know you love me anyway I'm going to say it anyway (...yeah, how do you like them apples? I've always wanted to say that for some reason). Anyways, maybe I'm wrong about this, but I've never believed that loving someone and being in love with someone is the same thing. So in the part that goes, "Because I donít love him. Because, despite all of our issues and his overwhelming desire to avoid growing up, I am deeply and irrevocably in love with Ron Weasley," it seems strange of you to say that Hermione doesn't love Harry, because we know that she does. I think it might be better to say, "Because I'm not in love with him", and that would have the added plus of making it more parallel/contrasting to the end of it where she says that she is in love with Ron.
And that's the only criticism I can really offer you, aside from the fact that this is Ron and Hermione and...y'know, yuck ;)
Your hooking first sentence was awesome, but in reading Someday, You Will I've never thought you've needed to work on them anyway :P I like how you made everything so vague in the beginning so that this story really could be about anyone - at least until you start dropping the names. Vagueness is a really great way of hooking attention because it really makes you wonder, "Who?!!!"...well, that wasn't really the case with me, because I looked at the characters, but still! You know what I mean.
I also really loved how you wrote this in present tense. Just like using semicolons, using present tense seems like a dying form of art sometimes. So few authors realize the advantages of using it and how incredible it can make a story. I think it was a good idea to use it here because it made Hermione's emotions feel more real and just...now. And you also wrote in first person, which is definitely cool beans.
I like how you brought Harry into this, as well. The three of them are such close friends that I've often wondered that Hermione never thought of the idea of Harry being something more, and I like that you didn't ignore that possibility and instead used it to show how strong/different her love for Ron was.
Aaaand that's all I can really think to say about this. Thank you for entering my challenge, be sure to check back after the deadline to see if you've won, blah blah blah. This was cute and simple - bahaha, get it? Simple? I crack myself up.
Off to review the other challenge entry (hopefully the last one!),
Cherry BearAuthor's Response: Bahaha, I dunno if you realize this at all but the entire first part of the story is about Hermione and Harry. Ron doesn't even come into the picture until she mentions crying about him to Harry.
And I actually kinda tried to make it totally vague and confusing until the end, so I guess that worked? O.o
Though I do agree with that bit about the "love" versus "in love" so I'll go change that now. :DDD
And...yeah. I liked this story idea. So, cool.
P.S. You can just kinda not count me for anything in your challenge because you're gonna end up reviewing all my stuff anyway. :P Report Review
Your first sentence did pull me in!
I actually thought, until I saw the line "...irrevocably in love with Ron Weasley," a little down the page ahead of me, that this was about Ginny. And I was thinking how very Harry-centered and damsel-in-distress-like Ginny sounded, until I came to that line and my opinion of the story completely changed.
I loved it! It's so interesting to see Hermione detail exactly why she and Harry are perfect for each other--and exactly why they aren't. I'm an absolute lover of all canon ships, so I enjoyed this even more because of it. I loved the last line, as well: "And really, it is just as simple as that".
This was a great, short read! Hermione was written spot-on and I love the concept of this. 10/10!Author's Response: I am so glad you liked it! I wasn't really attached to it, I probably wrote it in less than an hour and didn't spend any time editing it.
But I thought it was an interesting concept. I mean, I'm sure all of them at one point entertained the idea of Harry and Hermione being together. We know Ron did. And we know Harry only thought of her as a sister, but we were never given Hermione's thoughts on the whole ordeal.
Anywho, I'm super glad you liked it and super thankful for this review. ^^
-Dem- Report Review
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