Hey there! DemetersChild from the forums with your requested review. I know it's a million years late, but at least it's here, right? :P
Oh wow, this was beautiful. The writing flowed together so nicely and I could picture everything really well. I got shivers a few times, especially near the end.
I was a little confused with some things. Did she leave the table or did she open the box there? I don't remember reading about her leaving. Also, how did Zach die? It seemed like they had all be expecting it, the way that Grandfather Nott hadn't had to actually say the words. Just that he'd left something for her. Was he sick?
It really was a great read. Very beautifully written.
DemAuthor's Response: Dem,
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I don't think I ever said if she left the table. How Zach died wasn't really all that important to the plot, though I can see how one would be curious as to the how of it.
Thanks for the lovely review. Report Review
This was a charming little story, sad, but wistful. I definitely enjoyed the unique pairing (Blaise/Gabrielle) and also your less than traditional take on the Next-Gen era. Zoe is an interesting character and peeking through this story, I noticed subtle hints of a rich background and history. Even if you don't expand on her character in another story, I think you did a good job in fleshing her out in this fic. So many times it seems as though writers leave important details of characterization out of their one-shots. In this fic, however, I got the sense that there was much more to Zoe which really made her memorable.
Also, I especially liked the line about the weight of love. It was simple, yet poetic. Very beautiful!
Thanks for posting this one-shot, Len. I'm glad I got the chance to read it. Take care and be well!
Lee AnneAuthor's Response: Lee Anne, thank you so much for taking the time to read this one-shot of mine. It means a lot to hear back from an author I absolutely adore :D
That line about the weight of love, it's my absolute favourite line of the whole fic to be honest. When I was writing it, I was like "wow". I'm so glad you like it too.
Blaise/Gabrielle is such an interesting pairing to write, and I love Zoe. Eventually I plan to write a prequel of sorts to Blaise/Gabrielle. Just don't know when.
Thanks for the fantastic review! As I said, it means a lot. Report Review
Wow, this was certainly a moving piece. That being said, though, as sad as it was - it was seemingly devoid of emotion. At least to me. I read it, and I didn't really feel anything for Zoe. I'm not certain how to tell you to fix this, but I just thought it was worth pointing out.
It seemed odd that her grandfather told her that he had died. I think I would have liked to know what connection Zach had with Grandfather Nott. Because it seems rather weird that he would give her what Zach had wanted her to have.
Another criticism I have has nothing to do with the story, but your model portraying Miss Zabini. Having a white mother and a black father would give me the general idea that she wouldn't be porcelain. . . I know that mulattos come in a variety of colours, but I do disdain the idea that most people make them white simply because it's a possibility. All the mulattos I've met - I can see that they're part black.
Criticisms aside, this was an interesting story.
Not many seem to talk about grief in such a degree. Especially not the death of someone so young. It's obviously a sensitive topic, but one that you tackled with tact.
Your word choices were excellent.
I liked the mysterious feel of this piece, though, one was quite aware of their setting and surrounding in this tale.
Over all, I enjoyed this! This was beautiful in a tragic sort of way, I would just tweak it a little bit. Somehow make it tug a bit more at the heartstrings.
LindersAuthor's Response: Hey Linders!
Grandfather Nott is Zach's grandfather not Zoe's (thought I'd let you know). And the whole reason he showed up was to tell her about his grandson.
Thank you for the criticism, I appreciate it. Not sure how I'm going to fix parts of it. But thank you all the same :D
I am really glad you liked my word choice and the mystery of this piece. I'm sorry you didn't feel anything for Zoe however. I'm also really glad you liked it in a tragic sort of way. Report Review
Heyhey! Heather here with your review request!
This was a very touching story, and a really original one too. I've never considered the pairing Gabrielle/Blaise before, and their daughter Zoe seems like a very intersting character. I like how you've incorporated how the houses at Hogwarts are not so segregated anymore in the years after the war. There is a Zabini in Hufflepuff, who is in love with the grandson of Nott.
I think you really capture the feeling of loss in your story, that feeling where you feel like a part of yourself as died. It's very moving, so well done on that. I like how we get to know the character of Zach throughout the story. I also like the length of the chapter, it's quite short, but it says everything it needs to.
Well done, I really liked this! :)Author's Response: Hey there Heather!
To be honest, I never considered Blaise/Gabrielle either, but I rather like it.
I would imagine after Voldemort's fall, the rebuilding of Hogwarts and all that, things would be a little different. Prejudices obviously won't die out but I don't think they are a huge issue anymore. Plus, we know it's possible for children to not be like their parents. Take Sirius and Andromeda for example. It only goes to reason that a Zabini could end up in Hufflepuff and love the grandson of a Nott.
I've never really experienced loss the way Zoe has, but I can imagine it would be quite similar. I'm glad you found it moving, that was my intention. When I set out to write this I thought "this could be super long" and then the plot sort of took shape and I realized long would be wrong. It's only a glimpse into Zoe's life - her pain she feels - it doesn't need to be long. Or at least that's how I saw it.
I'm really glad you liked it, Heather! I'm also so glad you left me such a lovely review! Report Review
here to review from TGS!
this was nice - sweet and heartfelt. and i liked the way we saw Zach through Zoe's memories, and how you didn't give us this overload of family history, and wow, gabrielle and blaise? i would never in a million years have thought of that - what an usual but sound pairing. i can see how it would work.
zoe was very real. i also liked that she was in hufflepuff, as opposed to slytherin. there aren't enough fics about hufflepuffs. i liked the way you worked through her emotions - there was nothing forced or rushed. it was all smooth. well done!
not really much else i can say only that i liked this.
kate xxAuthor's Response: Kate,
Thank you so much for the kind review.
I'm really glad you like Zoe and how you get to know Zach through her. I don't like overloading the readers with too much information.
Blaise and Gabrielle seem cute to me, I rather like it. She'd be roughly four years younger than him, which is within reason.
I can't see Zoe being in any other house but Hufflepuff. She's not ambitious enough, courageous enough, or smart enough for the other houses. Her friends mean the world to her - which is why she is so upset when no one sees how badly she is hurting.
Thanks again for the review! Report Review
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