This was a great opener. It has everything you need: introduction to the characters,a sprinkling of back story, and action to move everything forward. There's a moody, distrustful protagonist who has been betrayed by her so-called childhood friend, an antoginst who thinks he ca get away with anything by fibbing his way through life, and a terrible danger literally brewing in the sky.
I thought your flow was great. Without dialogue, you carried the action through this chapter, painting a clear picture of where this girl is in her life and what is troubling her. Without a support structure of a close and loving family, she has every right to feel isolated and angry. Sometimes, I feel like the emotional reactions of this type of character are overdone. Here, I felt her justification and you didn't hit me over the head with the circumstances either.
The imagery was well-placed too. The short descriptions of the impending weather change, the way her eyes changed and how it tied in to her anger were just enough for us to get the picture without giving anything away.
I liked her grateful thoughts towards the director of the orphanage, which shows that she does have a heart. I also found her sadly detached thoughts during her ordeal in the play yard appropriate. She's a survivor and she shows us that she knows how to live through the moment to get to the next. I have a feeling that you're going to use this to tell her story more in the coming chapters.Author's Response: Oh my goodness; thank you SO much for taking the time to read and review this!! When I saw that there was another review on this story, I was honestly speechless!!
I'm thrilled to know that you think this is a good opener! And thank you so much for your comments on the back story, flow, imagery and action! And you've really delved deep into Jayde's psychology, which is totally amazing! I'm so glad you feel that her reactions aren't overdone!!
Indeed, Jayde does have a heart and she IS a survivor, even at such a young age.
Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing this! I can't tell you how much it means to me!! Report Review
*SPOILER* * KINDA*
thanks 4 updating can you please not make this like your one on FF where the parents curse him PLEase?Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! No worries; this is a completely different story from that one! :) Report Review
Please update! I love this series, its amazing!Author's Response: Awww, yay! Surprise/unexpected reviews always make my day! Thank you so, SO very much! I'm working on another chapter now; I'll update ASAP! And thank you again!
~Jayde Report Review
We've already had so many ups and downs in our short relationship, and I've spent so much time being mad at him...now that we're finally together, I don't want to fuss and fight anymore; I just want to be with him and be happy.
^ I'm glad that she came to this conclusion because a relationship is really only about the two people that are in it. Yes, sometimes relationships effect other people but if you're happy and the person is good to you then you should be with them and worry when the person doesn't make you happy anymore.
I understand that she wants her friends to be happy too. I think the way Jayde contemplates everything is rather interesting and entertaining because she sometimes thinks like she's much older but her actions are that of a teenager. She still worries about what people say, do or act around her or about her. She needs her friends to accept her relationship with Draco and even apologizes for dating him when she's doing nothing wrong.
I don't think she realizes that you just can't please everyone and things might get worse once they know about the baby because she's a teen mom and people are very judgemental.
"Still," Ginny interjects, "even though we don't have the slightest idea why you're dating Malfoy and we definitely don't approve, we should have at least been there for moral support... that's what friends are for."
^ I thought that was a nice change in Ginny and Hermione but I wouldn't be surprised if they change their tune again. Being friends with Jayde is tricky, especially since they're loyalties are with Harry but I like how you added the element of friendship because it's a big theme in Harry Potter.
No matter what happens, no matter how many fights the trio gets into or anyone else they are able to patch things up and be friends again in the end. I think that's what would happen in the end, they might fight again, they might say terrible things and hate her but if they're her real friends it won't matter and I think they are her real friends.
Nice chapter. I'm kind of secretly excited for this to end soon though! I want even more stories from you. :DAuthor's Response: Awww, thank you SO much Deeds!! Your reviews ALWAYS make my day!
I found your comments about Jayde's personality as well as the 'friendship' theme in the HP series to be very insightful... you just opened my eyes to some things I hadn't noticed before (even things about Jayde :D ).
Thank you SO, SO MUCH for this amazing, sweet, thoughtful and insightful review!! (And you'll be happy to know I'm currently working on a Lily/James songfic! :D ) Report Review
This is fantastic ...I can't wait for more.
KimAuthor's Response: !! You. Just. Made. My. DAY!! Thank you so, SO much for this lovely review! It's such a surprise! I am so, SO thrilled and excited that you like it! I promise, I will update A.S.A.P! EEk!! *huge hugs* Report Review
This is a really great chapter. I think that you did really well and I lvoed reading it. I am goad that she made her decision, and I think that it was a good one. I wonder who her parents are though.
I think that she is doing the right thing and I think that Ms. Fitzpartrick is doing well too. I think this was overall a good chapter and I enjoyed reading it.Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!! :D *hugs* Some of your questions should be answered soon!! Report Review
"She's not an object , Potter!" Draco snaps. "I didn't take her from you - she never even liked you! How can I take something that never belonged to you?"
LOVED THAT PART RIGHT THERE! I read it over three times because I could hear the echo of Draco's voice and see the anger in his face.
I think the only thing I would say is I was a bit disappointed that Harry didn't act a little stronger and said right away that he would still be her friend. The fight was awesome but I feel like Harry would have fought with Draco, found out if Jayde was alright and then left, without giving her any concrete information if he was or was not planning to be her friend in the future. But then again I never really understood the thoughts and action of Harry.
:DAuthor's Response: DEEDS. You just... Wow! You just don't even know how much you made my day right then! There are literally tears in my eyes! You never cease to amaze me with your surprise reviews! I think I'm addicted to them! They just make me want to go "SQUEE!" *Biggest Hug Anyone's Ever Received* Needless to say - THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Haha, I'm rather fond of Draco's line there, myself. :) I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
As for Harry, I agree that he should have been a bit more upset. In the original version of this chapter, I had this whole 'bitter, angsty' Harry (I mean more angsty than usual) portrayed, but I wasn't sure if that was really in character for him, which is why I changed it.
One thing I'm learning through writing this story is that I should leave things the way I'd originally written/planned them. Since I've been editing, I've had several people give me suggestions, like this, and pretty much all of those suggestions were for things that I originally had put in the story before editing! I think this chapter could have been much better if I'd left Harry the way you suggested, also!
I tried to explain away Harry's sudden change in reaction by saying he was concerned when Jayde's eyes turned white, but going forward, I will probably put some more angsty-Harry into the next chapters, if I don't edit this chapter back to its original angsty-Harry-ness! :)
Thank you SO, SO, SO much! My day = made!!
I'm very happy with this chapter. It was a nice chapter, and some of the questions were answered that I wanted to know about.
I love your characters, they are very nice to say the least. I think that this story will be wonderful. The first two chapter were a very nice beginning.Author's Response: Aww, you're so kind! I'm glad to hear that some of your questions were answered! And thank you so much for the compliments about my characters! *blushes*
Again, thanks a MILLION for your amazing reviews! Report Review
I think that you did really well in this chapter. I liked how the flow of it worked, and I really just enjoyed the chapter overall. I think you did a great job introducing your characters. We learned a little bit about them and then at the same time we were left with more information that we had to learn.
I think that you did a wonderful job with how the story was paced and what you included in the chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next, because you left a little bit of a cliff hanger.Author's Response: Wow, that was fast! Thank you SO much for offering your reviews, and for doing it so quickly!
I really appreciate your comments about the flow, pacing, and introduction, and I'm absolutely thrilled that you liked the chapter overall!
Thank you so, SO much for your amazing and thoughtful review! Report Review
A Jayded past. Humorous wordplay. :D
All in all this was a good introductory chapter, you've even put in a cliff-hanger (I'm an avid user of cliff-hangers for first chapters). I'm sorry Jayde had to go through such a terrible time with the Muggles, but I really did like this story. Good job! :DAuthor's Response: YES! Someone finally mentioned the wordplay!! :-D
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, dear! I'm glad you found this to be a good introductory chapter. I'm really glad you liked it! Thanks again! Report Review
OK, so I was definitely going to read the next chapter anyway. Might as well review it.
So I have to say that you've thrown me for a loop. Mrs. McGreggor? Dunamase? We're obviously left to believe one of two things: Either those are made-up names to conceal the true identity of Hogwarts from Ms. Fitzpatrick, or the story we're about to read is nothing like what we were expecting. For the moment, I'm hoping for the former.
Once again, your writing was flawless. A real pleasure to read.
The only thing I found a little troubling about this chapter was how quickly Ms. Fitzpatrick goes from angry and hostile to accepting. I understand that seeing a coat float across a room will change a person's point of view on the existence of magic, but Ms Fitzpatrick was so upset leading up to it. I guess I would have expected her to take a bit longer to come around.
Anyway, 'tis a small thing in the great scheme of things. Jayde is already a character who is easy to identify with. Can't wait to read about her adventures in the magical world...Author's Response: !!You read further and left another review, even though you didn't have to!! *Squeals*
*Looks around in panic* I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw you for a loop! I have the feeling that the latter of your two ideas is about to happen... the beginning of the story is probably nothing like what you're expecting. I really hope, looking at your comment about hoping for the former, that you're not too put-off or disappointed.
Thank you SO much for the comment about the writing. Major props go out again to my amazing Beta reader!
I agree that this transition is a bit quick. Originally, the first 5 chapters of this story were spread out over 9. I condensed them in the hopes of getting the story to Hogwarts, as I was sure that's where the readers would be hoping for all the action to take place. Therefore, some scenes got cut out and sped up, like Ms. Fitzpatrick's hasty acceptance of the magic. Other reviewers have pointed this out to me, and I sincerely regret eliminating and condensing those other 4 chapters. But, what's done is done and now is not the time to dwell on the past! :-) I've decided to just pick up with what I've got and go with it!
I'm thrilled that Jayde is easy to relate to, and also thrilled that you can't wait to read more. I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and that the way things turn out doesn't scare you away. *Crosses fingers*
Again, thank you SO, SO much! Report Review
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.
So this is a very interesting start to your story. You set up the character of Jayde very well, dripping in plenty of tantalizing details that left me speculating wildly about her past, present and future. Were her parents really wizards? Was the "house fire" a consequence of the first war? And what really awful -- and richly deserved -- thing is about to happen to our lad Corey?
Your writing is very good, free of typos and grammatical errors and structurally solid. In spite of the fact that there's very little dialog, it doesn't feel like you're pushing the narrative in the reader's face. Rather, I felt drawn along as the story unfolded, eagerly moving from paragraph to paragraph.
What do I think you could have done better? Not much, to be honest. I felt a bit curious as to why Jayde feels responsible for her parents' death, but perhaps you have an explanation for that upcoming.
Splendid effort. Looking forward to reading more...Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for the tag!!
I'm so very glad that you found this to be an interesting start. I could answer your questions about Jayde in this review, but they're all answered later in the text, so I'll save the surprise for you. :-) It makes me very happy to know that you have questions, though.
As for the grammar and typo-free-ness and the structure, I owe that in part to my wonderful beta, Jane. She has been a tremendous help for me to improve my writing! And *Whew*. I'm thrilled that the narrative wasn't too pushy and drew you in. There will be much more dialog in later chapters, so I hope it still has the same feel for you then.
*Blushes and smiles like a child at Christmas* It feels SO great to hear you say there's not much I could have done better. You'll find that Jayde's feelings of guilt are more like a 'survivor's guilt' than anything, but this won't be discussed until much later in the story.
Thank you so, SO very much for your thoughtful review! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it and hope you continue to do so!
That was really good! Your main character is very convincing and you seem to have her figured out very well, which make the story a lot more believable. The whole thing was very realistic and the end was rather intriuging as well. Great first chapter!Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so, so very much for your amazing and thoughtful review, dear! I'm very glad you enjoyed it and hope you continue to enjoy the story! Thanks again! Report Review
Wow! Can I just say it? Can I? Yeah, Ginny? Really don't like her. This is exactly why I don't like Ginny. THIS IS THE REASON RIGHT HERE! She's so annoying. She gets angry so easily. At least Hermione listens to Jayde and asks her what happened even though she's not telling her the truth but still at least she's calm about it.
Besides Ginny I liked this chapter because you write such a sweet Draco. He kept making me gush at the computer screen and I almost squealed like a little fangirl but I stopped myself. Oh lord, the way he's so sweet to her I almost wish I was Jayde! I can't believe he would make his friends take an Unbreakable Vow, that's so dangerous and not to mention that but Crabbe and Goyle aren't the smartest...err...apples in the orchard. However, I don't think they would tell anyone anyway but that's a heavy vow to take.
Oh I can't wait for Harry's response. It was always quite obvious he had a crush on her and it's a bit sad that he won't get to date her. I don't think he'll understand and I think somehow her friends are going to find out and they won't be her friends any longer which is terrible but teenage pregnancy is hard. Many people who were once your friends won't stick by you. That's how it was for some girls when I was in high school. I try not to judge but anyway...next chapter? Yeah, I think you should start writing it. :DAuthor's Response: !! DEEDS. !! You have officially made my LIFE with this review! I wish there were a way to give out virtual hugs, because you would be getting squished right now!!
Haha! Your first two sentences made me laugh out loud. I'm sorry you had to deal with annoying, easily-angry Ginny in this chapter! Jayde's friends will hopefully calm down a little in the next chapter, especially Ginny. *winks*
Haha! Why yes, I do write a very sweet Draco, don't I? I can't help it. I find it hard to believe that anybody who looks like THAT *Swoons* could act so mean all the time. :-) That and I've always been kind of intrigued by the character... I mean he's clearly the product of his upbringing, but I believe we saw in HBP how he can have a softer side, too... and I'm completely smitten by it!! Hehe... sometimes I gush and get all fan-girly just writing him! I kind of wish I was Jayde too (but that's sort of the point).
It's kind of crazy that he's being so sweet to her now when he was so mean, before though. But everybody gets kind of crazy when they're rejected by the one they love, right?? :-) Alas, Draco did make his friends take the Unbreakable. It kind of felt right, you know? Typical over-protective father-to-be who doesn't want his parents finding out about it yet. :P Pshh! Crabbe and Goyle aren't the smartest 'apples' in ANY bunch. Or at least, not for the purposes of this story.
We shall have Harry's response in the next chapter, dear. You're quite right, he definitely has a crush on her. Poor Harry, I hope he will survive. I've got a feeling that he will, though. Hm... maybe Jayde's friends will find out, maybe they won't. Who knows??! (Oh yeah, that's right - I do!) :P
I'm in the process of writing the next chapter now, and I can not WAIT to see what you think of it! Thank you so, SO SO much for your lengthy and thoughtful review. You have NO idea how awesome you've made me feel!
Wow! What an idea.. kinda like Storm off X-Men? I love X-Men. *cough* I'm not weird *cough*
You've got a fantastic style of writing, and I really think you have a strong character as well.
Great! :)Author's Response: Hey dear! Thanks so much for your review! Yeah, I suppose you could say Jayde is kind of like Storm. There are quite a few differences, though, as you'll see in later chapters. It's okay, I love X-Men, too, and that doesn't make us weird. :-) Awww, I'm glad you think I've got a fantastic style. I owe some of the credit for that to my wonderful Beta. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and thanks again for the review! Report Review
This is a very intriguing and interesting first chapter, one that I quite enjoyed reading.
I found the spare way of running through her life very interesting and fitting because it resembled her own life- she doesn't have much of anything. It really fit with the age of Jayde as well as her attitude- she seems almost detached from everything.
Corey wasn't very nice in this chapter (understatement, I know), but the whole scene involving him was realistic. Little kids do act like that and I can imagine Corey becoming frustrated with her because of her "un-coolness". It's quite sad that kids act that way and I wish that at least someone in the crowd had stood up for her... All those people just watching her being kicked was cruel.
I'm interested to see what exactly being a Nimbimagus means. It seems to be linked to the weather... I enjoyed the subtle ways in which you've hinted at her powers in this chapter. The darkening sky as she was getting beat up, the rain falling as she struggled through her hurt... The weather is linked to her emotions.
All in all, I quite enjoyed this chapter and I think that it sets you up well for the rest of the story. It'll be interesting to see how she goes to Hogwarts, as her powers don't seem to be the typical witch's.Author's Response: Wow. Thank you SO much for your review; I can tell you've put a lot of thought into this and I can't tell you how greatly I appreciate it.
It makes me feel wonderful for you to say that the attitudes of Jayde and Corey, as well as the other children, were believable and realistic. It's been a while since I've been that age and I really hoped to be able to put my reader into that mindset again... it's nice to hear it paid off.
Yes, her being a Nimbimagus does indeed have something to do with the weather, as I've tried to indicate in this chapter... I'm glad you picked up on the hints I gave with the differing weather throughout the day.
I'm really very glad that you enjoyed this chapter, and as I said above, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness when writing this review. Thank you SO much! Report Review
Hey! Here from review tag :)
This is definitely an interesting start to a story. I thought your portrayal of an orphan was pretty accurate, as far as I know, and I like the twist that Jayde's mortal enemy was another orphan. You would think that he would suffer her fate as well, since he probably wore tattered hand-me-downs too, but you can see a clear and important difference in their personalities.
I liked all the detail in this chapter, and I like the style in which you've written it. I also like that you tried to end on a bit of a cliffhanger, even though it concluded a bit too abruptly for my taste. I think it would have been nice to include the whole incident and then end right in the middle of the aftermath, but that's just a personal preference. All in all, it was a very interesting way for Jayde to discover her "uniqueness" :)
academicaAuthor's Response: Hey there! First off, thank you SO much for taking the time to read and review this for me! I'm glad you find the portrayal of the orphan to be accurate. I'm not writing that from experience, so I was hoping to convey it as accurately as possible. And I agree, you'd think Corey would be in the same boat as Jayde. I'm glad you see the huge differences between their personalities. :-)
I am thrilled to hear that you liked all the detail, detail/description is one of the things I worry about most in my writing. I really appreciate your commenting about the cliffhanger, even though you'd have preferred for it not to end at this moment.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, dear! Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Elenia here from the Gryffie review tag (:
I must say, an excellent first chapter! You really managed to capture the readers interest with this one. I'm actually dying to click the 'next chapter'-button to see what happens next, but I have to give you my review first (:
You described everything very well, the feelings and the situations. I felt really sad for Jayde and wanted somebody to rush to her rescue. But I guess it made her stronger and she finally managed to defend herself, so that's a good thing!
Everything else about this chapter was perfect too. The flow, grammar and all the rest. So now I'm going to submit the review and continue reading my new fav. story (: I'll give you another review when I'm done!Author's Response: Hi there Elenia! Thanks a billion for taking the time to read and review this!!
Hehe, I'm really glad that you think the first chapter is so interest-grabbing that you want to keep reading. :-)
I really appreciate your comments about the description, that's one of the things I've been worried about with my writing. And yes, everything did make her stronger!
I owe the flow and grammar praise to my wonderful beta/twin Jane (TenthWeasleyWriter); I couldn't have done any of that without her and I'm learning a lot.
Haha, I really hope you enjoy the next chapter, and that it continues to be your new fav. story. :-) Thanks again! Report Review
Here from review tag!
This was a very strong introduction to this story and to Jayde's character. It felt a little bit like Tom Riddle's background, except that she was sympathetic and not evil of course.
So many kids have to go through horrible bullying at school, and I think you portrayed that very well, and we could really relate to her emotions.
The flow, grammar, and structure were all really good, and the ending was a great suspense building cliffhanger.Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you SO much for taking the time to read and review this for me! And for leaving such a kind and thoughtful review!
I agree that Jayde's background is a bit like Tom's, and I tried to include as much of a difference as possible (like her sympathy) to make it different.
I'm really glad you think I portrayed the school scene realistically, and that you felt you can relate to those emotions. And I'm glad the suspense I tried to insert paid off. :-)
Thanks again, dear! Report Review
I know. I know. I know. It's supposed to be a serious situation but i could not help but laugh as I read this chapter. I could see Crabbe and Goyle laughing and then silently gaping at Draco and Jayde at the very end. I couldn't stop giggling!
But I am nervous to see how his parents are going to react because he is a Malfoy and he's their only son so it's going to be a big thing and they are teenagers. Update whenever you can! I'm excited to read more! :D It's getting too good!Author's Response: Awww; yay!! A surprise review!! Haha, I'm glad I made you giggle, and that you enjoyed the chapter!
You've got a good point there; this certainly would be a big deal with Lucius and Narcissa. I will update absolutely as soon as I possibly can!! I'm glad to know that you're excited to read more, and that it's getting 'too' good! Thank you SO, SO much for reading and reviewing; I can't tell you how much it means to me. You have truly made my day! Report Review
Hey, I'm here for Gryffie review tag!
I found this to be a really interesting chapter. At first I was a little afraid that the orphanage thing would end up feeling too similar to Riddle, but you quickly dispelled that fear. The way you describe Jayde's first unintentional bits of magic was great, and I felt like you really captured her emotions really well - her sense of betrayal in particular, and the anger that ended up bubbling to the surface. It felt quite realistic, and I though that it was an excellent job.
I also thought that your writing style was quite strong - I'm big on the mechanics and prose aspects of stories, and I'm always excited to see an author who can do them well. You definitely did a great job with this. I hope you're still active!Author's Response: Awww, what a pleasant surprise! I thought the Gryffie tag had died! Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing, dear! I'm really glad you liked the chapter! Thank you for all the compliments; this is the first review I've gotten in MONTHS! Thanks a billion! *hugs* Report Review
Oh my God. I have read this whole story tonight and I am so addicted, this is so good, I absolutely love this. I love Draco in this story and I love Jayde. Story is very exciting and I am looking for more. Please, write more soon. Author's Response: Awww! Thank you so much! Wow! You really read this whole thing tonight?!? *blushes* I feel so special! I'm SO glad you love the story and think it's exciting, and that you feel addicted! Thank you SO much for your sweet review dear, it really has made my day! I'm in the process of moving right now, but I'll update as soon as I'm settled in! Thanks again!! Report Review
It has taken me awhile to read this chapter because when I saw the word count I went 'woah!' I'm insanely jealous, I wish I could write something as long as this chapter and make it flow as wonderfully.
Ooo! I got a little chill just now. I'm up to the part where Draco eyes her with 'such intensity' that she might explode. I actually really felt that!
Holy smokes! I didn't see that coming actually, you think I would you know. I didn't actually expect Draco to have his wand in his hand. I mean I know he's not stupid but he is a hormonal teenage boy. They tend to have one-track minds when snogging.
The paternity spell was a very good idea! I find that very clever! It sort of creeped me out though but I still think it's very cool.
The Seer thing threw me off BUT WHO CARES! BECAUSE (let me stop writing in caps but I’m trying to make a point) because that...MrsJaydeMalfoy was what I have been waiting for from you all along! There was passion, there was emotion. I mean I've felt the other chapters as well but this, this was just one long piece that worked perfectly. It pretty much put together what I had been expecting and wanting all along. It was wonderful.Author's Response: Awww! Thank you SO MUCH!! That's got to be one of the best reviews I've ever gotten!! *Squeals with review fangirl joy* :-D I was really concerned about how this chapter would come across, so it's really gratifying to know that it's been received SO well!
Aww, I'm really glad you thought this flowed wonderfully! And that I conveyed the emotions well enough that you could actually feel them! This was meant to be an emotionally-packed chapter. Haha; yeah, the paternity spell was kind of creepy, wasn't it? But I had to have SOME way for him to know for SURE who's baby it was.
As for the seer bit, I felt like I needed to add SOMETHING in there to explain why two people who haven't really even dated would be talking about marriage (other than the baby, of course). I didn't want the 'engagement' to seem like it was ONLY because of the baby... and I really couldn't think of anything else that would make two teenagers start talking about marriage so suddenly unless they KNEW they were meant for each other.
I'm really glad that this chapter put together everything you'd been expecting and wanting to happen, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you SO MUCH for your absolutely amazing review, dear! *hugs* Report Review
Yay! More of Jayde's magical adventures. Did I tell you before how much I'm enjoying your story? I can't exactly explain why, but I am so so curious to know more about Jayde! There's something about her that draws me to her. I still remember that odd happening in earlier chapters and I can't stop speculating what is happening to her. I can't wait to meet Draco too :D
This was a sweet and light chapter. It was fun reading her first reactions and experiences in the wizarding world. I'm also intrigued by the wand event. I never knew two types of wand could suit the same wielder. Hopefully that's a part of the plot and I'm not spoiling it haha.
House Cup 2011, End of an Era Review Extravaganza
Forum name: Debra20
House: GryffindorAuthor's Response: Yay! Another review! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story!! You'll meet Draco soon enough!! :-P
Yes, the wand event is definitely part of the plot, but it won't show up until later in the story! Thanks so much for the review, Debra! Ã¢Â™Â¥ *hugs* Report Review
Oh my goodness! This was amazing. I feel so, so sorry for Jayde now. You really got across her feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and even despair. I like how she is somewhat strong, but like any normal person, she gradually breaks apart by repeated bullying. I just feel so absolutely terrible for her, and hope that what's happening next will cheer her up!
Corey is an absolutely despicable person, and obviously you've painted him as the villain very strongly. I like the plot of this so far, it's kept me very engaged and curious about what's happening next! Really well written.
- maskedmuggle, Ravenclaw :)Author's Response: Oh wow; a review! Thank you SO much, dear, you may have just made my day! I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I have to give credit to my amazing beta for the well-written aspect of it, though; she's really a gem! Thanks again! Report Review
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