I think you have got the language of Hagrid dialect spo t on in this! As a writer its probably the one thing I find difficult to do, write accents, so its nice to know that its not impossible!
I just think you really do need to continue this story! You have written it so well, conveying Lily as quite fiesty and authoritive even before she was sorted into Gryffindor and I liked that you showed those traits in her as thats exactly what I imagine her to be like.
Oh dear the Emma and Gemma thing really did make me laugh which was a little cruel really. Also when it was said that they thought Hufflepuff was the boring house that was really sad but I'm sure everyone feels like that and that they soon settled in!
The hats song was brilliant Amy! You need to become a professional song writer or something (If being a normal writer doesn't work out!)
Well done, I loved it and you'd better update soon because I can't wait to see what Dumbledore has to say!Author's Response: I spent so long doing Hagrid's speech! I was going through the books and trying to find certain words just to make sure it was right!!
I wish I could continue it, and I have tried several times. I just lack plot ideas and motive for it. I will keep trying though!
Once I realised the names, I just had to :P I really couldn't resist. And can you tell I wrote this after watching AVPM? ;)
I love writing songs! I just lack the ability to create the music and sing! :P
Thank you so much for the review!! Report Review
This is fabulous!
I love eleven year old Lily, she is so innocent and loving. I also love how you made me dislike Petunia for making Lily upset. Its a hard situation for Petunia I guess because she was best friends with someone she'd probably cross the street to avoid and she's losing her sister. Petunia probably didn't know what to do but I do like how you've shown the hurt and rejection coursing through Lily. The fact she sends Severus away really shows that.
I also love how you have made her so mesmorised by the trolley just like Harry was on the first time. It shows that whilst some of the wizarding families would have been used to it, Lily was just getting used to the whole idea of the wizarding world let alone the different foods.
And she made a friend :D That makes me happy! Go amy for this wonderful piece!Author's Response: The whole Lily and Petunia situation is so different depending on whose perspective you think of it from. There are so many feelings being covered up with other feelings and you just don't know what causes what. I tried to show Lily's whilst giving a slight insight into Petunia's potential feelings.
How Harry reacted to the new things he discovered is probably how every muggle-born feels, which is why I wrote Lily very similar.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
I must admit that nothing then my love for Harry Potter and my wife (who is awesome fic writer) could make me read a fanfic. I am quite sceptical to those who try to change, rearrange and modify Jo's stories.
Now to this fic..Well, the author of this fic obviously managed to open to us Lily's character and did it so well that for me it seemed that this Lily was the same as Jo's possible Lily would be. I liked the way Lily's emtions were presented before going to Hogwarts.I could see Harry in her , I don't know why but I felt that she is his mother and that was wonderful! James and Sirus bits were quite well done as well, because that necessary friendly but arrogant outlook we had in Jo's stories were kept. The only not really good point of this chapter was lack of discriptions, I mean we weren't told what kind of weather it was , was it cloudy or sunny. We weren't told much about newly introduced characters . But at the same time there were some nice ways of discribing characters (part where Sirius was mentioned as shorter then James , or Alice's hair ) . All in all , story worths reading !!! :)Author's Response: Aww...thank you Asi! =D I'm glad you liked it =D The one thing I was worried about was that Lily was too like Harry..so I hope I didn't overdo it. I am terrible when it comes to describing..but I like the way that I did it. I am very concious about over describing =/
Thanks again =D *hugs* Report Review
it's an awesome stiry!
it's very funny and i really like your writing!!!
dariaAuthor's Response: Thanks =D
I will try to get another chapter up soon =D School likes to make that impossible though =P Report Review
I love this story! It's kind of interesting to read a story from the beginning of Lily's time at hogwarts, normally all the ones I read/write are from the sixth-seventh year when her and James get together :) but this story is great and I hope you continue it because I will be make to read more when you update :)
10/10Author's Response: Thank you!! =D I hope I can get it that far =D I'm a bit slow with updates at the moment..you know what school is like..exams..homework..and just plain old stress =P But my exams are next week so I should be able to get lots done after that =D Report Review
Awesome! I think you wrote a really good Sorting Hat poem; that can be hard I imagine. I'm putting your story on my favorites... you've earned a ninja emoticon!
*Author's Response: Thank you!! It took me ages. I don't know how JK managed it! It has to be one of the most difficult things I have done..And I do Physics so that is saying something =P Thank you!!! Hahaha..I love the emoticon =D Report Review
Wow I really love this! You did really well capturing the characters and what their first impressions of each other are. I love your descriptions; how everything is so magical... wow, literally magical, and that was no pun intended lol... to Lily, who is just discovering this all at once. I thought it was funny how she and Harry's first experiences on the Hogwarts Express have a lot of similarities. And I'm guessing Alice will be Neville's mom? Ha ha, well done. I can't wait to go and read Chap. 2 now. 10 out of 10.Author's Response: Wow! Thank you!! I tried not to make them too similar..but I couldn't help myself =P Ahh..you will have to wait to find that out ;P Thank you!! Report Review
I really look forward to more!Author's Response: I haven't got much time at the moment..But I am quite a way into chapter 3..so hopefully I won't be long =D =D Report Review
This is really good, and I'm glad Gemma and Emma were put into Hufflepuff. It's my favorite house ever, even if it's been always overshadowed. Thanks for including it; I was sure that they were going into Ravenclaw together.Author's Response: Thanks =D It was always planned =P Awesome =D =D Hahah..I never really thought of puttting them into Ravenclaw..It was always between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff =D Report Review
Incredibly cute! I absolutely love James/ Lily fics!Author's Response: Thanks =D =D I'm glad you like it =D Report Review
Another wonderful chapter! I love the way you're describing Sirius. He makes me laugh so much! I also love little Sevvy...Author's Response: Thanks =D =D Sirius and James are such fun characters to write for =D Haha =P Report Review
Wow, what a great start! I really like this. I've never read a story with Lily and Petunia before, but this is awesome. :) I also can't believe this is your first fic...you're an amazing writer!Author's Response: Thanks =D =D There will be more Lily/Petunia bits soon =D Thanks =D Report Review
OMG. That was INCREDIBLE! seriously! your writing just flows, it's written perfectly and so easy to read =D The song was incredible and the last line was hilarious haha.
My favorite part of this chapter has got to be of Alice saying they'd be fine in the boats as long as they didn't jump off the edge and Sirius is all like, "DAMN! I was just thinking about doing that." hahahaha, loved it ahhah =P
Hurry with the next chapter please!! can't wait for it!!!
-Theia..=]Author's Response: Thanks =D =D =D =D Haha..that song took me ages =P I don't know how Jo managed it =P Hahaha..I couldn't resist putting that line in =D It just felt like something Sirius would do =D Especially as he has a little thing for Alice =D I will try to do it soon..but I have homework and school and homework and school and homework =P So it is difficult =P But the next chapter is going to be good..I hope =P Report Review
Yay! I loved this chappie! I think Gemma and Emma are great and I want to see more of them because I love them a whole lot! I think this chapter was well paced, but I think that James and Sirius were painted a little off in terms of being mean marauders to Snape. Other than their being harsh on Snape, I think it was a very well done chapter and can't wait for the next update!
hugs, gingerAuthor's Response: Thanks =D There will be more of them soon =D They have to be mean though! And they weren't that bad..=P Report Review
This is really good, I definietely like it so far. Update soon, I can't wait to see what you do with the rest of the story :DAuthor's Response: Thanks =D I will write as fast as I can..but I don't have much time because of school Report Review
Great! The spacing is a bit off, though. I have the same problem when I copy and past my stories sometimes.
Also, I think everyone was very in character! That was quite ironic how Gemma and Emma are Hufflepuffs now, though I can't say I didn't expect that! :)
Will you please, please, update soon?Author's Response: I don't know what happened with the spacing..it messed up..I sorted it out..and then It messed up again..but it was 1:30am when I was doing it..and I had to be up at 3:30am to go to Spain..I will tyr and sort it out now =D
Thanks =D Haha =P That was planned from when they said the stuff in the boat =P
I will do it as soon as possible..though school is making that difficult Report Review
Very good! I love stories with Lily and Petunia! But I wish you'd describe Hogwarts, you could do it very well because you put in so much rich description!
Keep writing!Author's Response: Thanks =D There will be more description of Hogwarts soon..Probably in chapters 3 and 4 =D Report Review
As I told you, here I am reading the first chapter!
The way you developed the begining of the fic, introducing and describing all of the characters, was pretty good. I like the first person perspective and your writing style is very captivating and seriously good. I'm looking forward to read the next chapter!
~xBookworm_GirlxAuthor's Response: Thanks =] =] =]
The second chapter will be up soon..I hope...I am in the middle of transferring all my files from my old laptop to my new one..and I only have a 2GB USB to do it with so it is taking a while =P And I haven't got around to transferring my story yet Report Review
This is really good! I love how you write Lily! I could also make you a banner if you'd want one...update sooney!Author's Response: Thanks =] =] =] I have been thinking about a banner..but I haven't found a good picture yet Report Review
It was great! I haven't read any fanfiction before, so you have set the bar pretty high for the next ones I read. =]Author's Response: Thanks =] =] I'm sure you will read some that are a lot better than mine =] But I'm glad you like it =] Report Review
Wonderful story, great writing, and it definitely pulls you in right from the start! Can't wait for chapter 2 and great job!Author's Response: Thank you!! =] I'm glad you like it =] Report Review
OMG! yay! first chapter already up! well it's incredible. Your style of writing, to me seems to be completely accurate =D I love the way you're portraying Lily. You're writing is stunning and pure awesomeness =P *sigh* I love how James is such a little gentleman, and how Sirius has that little cocky aura around him haha. Alice seems to have an admirer ;). By the way, i love how you wrote her. she seems incredible just like Lily =D
Can't wait for the second chapter! please update soon!!
-Theia..=]Author's Response: Thank you, Thank you, thank you!!! I'm glad you loved it =] =] =]
The second chapter will be put in for validation as soon as I finish it =] Report Review
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