He would ponder what she meant by that later.
You slip a bit of narrator into the text now and again. I noticed last chapter with Severus sending the owl. I think the story's more satisfying when readers learn information along with the viewpoint character.
What the heck did Andie do to the marriage contract, change it to a handfasting year and a day agreement, or one of those "as long as both shall love" sort of things? Her cryptic talk of agendas and the kind of marriage theirs would be remind me of a Regency heroine who thinks the hero has set up a false marriage to get what he wants and goes along with it out of love, only to learn later that it was real and she's misjudged him.
I wonder how long it will be before he finds out what she's done...and if he'll stalk out of her life and make her do the chasing for a change. ;) Report Review
Aw, thanks for the shout out (and the plug, heh). I'm mystified why people read and don't review on a site that allows anonymous reviews, but even if people are too busy or too shy to share their thoughts, every hit/view/read/whatever they call it on HPFF reveals that you gave someone "a few moments of joy" hehheh, and like Snape, you will refuse to apologize for it! :)
Now about the chapter...Why the h-e-double hockey sticks did Andie let Cissy get away with striking her and calling her foul names? Her sister's obsession with throwing Hermione at Severus is disturbing. I'm starting to wonder if she's loonier than Bellatrix.
Gah, more miscommunication outside the bedroom. When will it stop? Guess I'll see. ;) Report Review
How readers could finish this chapter and not ask you to update so they'd find out Tim's reaction, find out if Severus stopped being so inscrutable and was open with Andromeda about Hermione is hard to fathom. Maybe they don't know you accept anonymous reviews and couldn't log in on a school or home computer. Whatever the reasons, I'll be the Lorax speaking for the trees, or rather a reader speaking for others. :D
Update soon.Author's Response: I can't seem to open the box for the previous review response, so I'll respond to both reviews here. (and get back to the other one when it lets me)
I like the idea of a Severus who decides that "Drink to me only with thine eyes" was why he failed with Lily, so this time he's going to be very clear about what he wants. He's a bit of a caveman with Andromeda. Then again, he's only capable of taking it so far, so what he wants *along* with her in bed is left up to her very muddled imagination.
The first person to react is pretty explosive. I suspect others will not react well, either. I think Tim made assumptions based on the fact that his mum's robe was all mis-fastened a few nights before. Anyhow, the next chapter is up and the chapter after will be in the queue right away.
Thanks again for all the great notes. One of the things I love most about fanfic is that it gives a context for discussing various canon issues and what-ifs leading from them. Report Review
You don't need anyone who isn't me.”,/i>
That's my favorite line.
Classic Severus. :D
I did giggle when he mentioned respecting her.hehheh.and asked how she could just leave him like that. Report Review
“Everything is coming together, my dove,”
You're upping the Regency Romance drama with Andromeda's mistaken belief that Severus is a cad with intentions to marry Hermione and have it off with her in the meantime. I can't help grinning as they talk and have entirely different conversations. :DAuthor's Response: Yeah, his answers to her concerns and questions aren't doing much to allay her fears. One can understand why he's so bad at communicating. Her inability after 25 years of a good marriage is less understandable, unless it's that Snape speaks a slightly different language than the rest of the world and she doesn't really understand it yet.
Thanks, again! Report Review
I told Vermouth that his Aftermath story had a Victorian vibe between his OC and Severus. After reading this chapter, I've decided that your story has a Regency Romance tone, and I'm enjoying it so much I barely raise an eyebrow at the "my dove" usage or the double standard of Severus being expected to marry someone young and fertile while Andromeda is stuck with the older suitors...and they're the same age (or near enough to make no difference)!
I did notice several descriptions-instead-of-names dialogue tags, which I won't say anymore about since you know my sentiments about them, my lady. ;)Author's Response: In the movie You've Got Mail, Greg Kinnear quotes somebody by saying, "You are what you read." :0 I don't read much regency any more excepting Jane Austen (I probably am channelling a certain amount of Persuasion here), but I guess it's my go-to genre when writing.
I'm also looking at some of the issues 40-something women have. It's easy to think one is used up and worthless just because she isn't young and cute. What the older women bring to the table (for example, knowing how to run a sick-room) can sometimes seem less interesting.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
“You can't possibly mean that—I'm old, past it. You have a future to consider.”
The man tells her he's smitten with her and calls her "my dove" so much anyone can tell he wants her to bill and coo. I think he means it.
Poor Hermione, you make her so sad.Author's Response: Yeah... Hermione. I love her, so I have to torture her.
Andromeda is a little too willing to believe Narcissa. I don't know why. Maybe it's because she's the only member of the family who's ever reached out to her in 25 years. Of course, that was because she wanted something. She should listen more to Severus, with whom she has much more in common, but she's muddled. At the back of a lot of this is a 40-something woman who's fairly certain that she doesn't have much in comparison with a fresh face.
Thank you again! Report Review
“They say I needn't come for Christmas. They say that they knew all along I never really belonged to them.”
Aw, you made the Grangers bad parents!
I'm not sure how to take the Ministry's veiled threat to the Slytherin kids leading to Severus tutoring them for their N.E.W.Ts. He's seeming very Professor Bhaer from Little Women.
Hermione's outburst makes me wonder how you're going to handle the "Luke, I am your father" moment. Right now it looks like it's going to be ugly.Author's Response: I wasn't trying to make the Grangers bad parents, but I have come across stories where the reunion didn't go beautifully. The Grangers were a little miffed. Plus, I'm foreshadowing the other little fact that will be revealed at a later date in a chapter already titled "Big Bang". It goes with my physics theme.
I'm projecting that the authorities are making all Slytherins take the heat for the actions of the Tedious One and his minions. Maybe they aren't. I've seen a lot of fanon where Andromeda opens a school to support herself and Teddy, so this path seemed natural.
Thanks, again for your reviews! Report Review
Excellent though the man had been, Severus Snape didn't really want to be an aging Hufflepuff Ministry hack.
He's so attractive when he's snarky. :D
Loved the umbrella scene. Very romantic in a comforting-want-to-be-more sort of way.
"Always something there to remind me" is a line from a song and seems to fit Andromeda this chapter.
Hermione's characterization...sigh...it doesn't seem right. I can't help it, I don't like her wondering if she could get Snape to touch her again. Why can't she just feel massive guilt for thinking so badly of him and want to do penance by showing him she doesn't think that now?Author's Response: Hermione in fanon tends to be the way 30-something women wish they had been at the age of 19. I'm drawing from the 19yo who lives at my house and memories of myself at that age. (It's very painful.) We have this amazingly brilliant girl who's probably starting to come into her beauty and hasn't got much clue about how to deal with romance or relationships. I do need to go back to the fact that she's very smart and have a few scenes specifically show that so we see her in the setting we recognize and know her as herself.
Meanwhile, speaking of snarky, in a different story I wrote, I have a less eager Severus tell Andromeda that you can't go out and replace husbands the way you can a cauldron when it breaks. (I've met a few women who've pulled it off, but it's pretty rare.)
In timing, this chapter corresponds to the very last one of the prequel, particularly the part where Andromeda goes outside on Ted's birthday to wish him happy birthday.
Thanks for the nifty review and the fun conversation! Report Review
She patted his hand. Quick as a flash, he seized her hand and brought it to his lips.
That startled me. "He gently seized her hand and brought it to his lips" would have been more romantic, less jolting. :D
I like Tim's Slytherin streak, accusing Severus of trying to sponge off Andromeda. Interesting, too, how her dream lovers are getting mixed up.
Draco complaining rang so true, both for his character and teenagers in general, hehheh.Author's Response: I had fun writing that Draco passage. If memory serves, I had just had a conversation very much like it with an 18yo who lived at my house.
In my mental fanon, Tonks was a Hufflepuff, like her father, so Andromeda should have had a Slytherin child to even the family out. ;) Tim is good at math... and calculating.
I think Andromeda found that scene jolting. It certainly wasn't what she expected. Snape was grabbing his chance, there. Maybe you're right, though, about the romance.
Thank you so much for the notes! Report Review
“That's my smart girl,” he said. She was a bit surprised by his tone of voice and the smile on his face,
That made two of us! :D
If I didn't know your Hermione-as-the-love-child-of-Lily-and-Snape theory, I would've been seriously creeped out by him calling her fetching and his manner toward her in general. Did you grin evilly at the faces you imagined uninformed readers making?
Does Hermione know he's her father? If not, why is she wanting a "further relationship"? Do you not have her and Ron together as a couple? At the end there seems to be some Dramoine foreshadowing.
This line made me laugh along with Andromeda:
“Is that all he does?” asked the dark-haired boy.
It's great, really shows Harry's still a boy. The line also shows something about writing that I used to do all the time (which is why it pops up at me in 3D when I see it in other writers' stories), try to vary names and he/she with descriptions. I thought I was making sure the reader wouldn't get bored or there wouldn't be too much repetition, but really, all I (and you, and everyone else who does it) did was give the reader more names to keep track of, to make them think a second (taking them out of the story) to connect the description to the person it's describing.
Tim Tonks is a likable character. You have me hoping someone did steal his magic, so he can get it back. :)Author's Response: I'll have to think about that thing with the dialog. I do it quite a bit for the very reason you mention.
Meanwhile, the relationship with Hermione here is meant to be confusing. She feels like there must be someting between them, and his behavior doesn't discourage that thought.
I haven't really addressed what's happened between her and Ron. In my mind, they never "officially" got together yet, and she's atarting to think that she's outgrown her schoolfriends.
Thanks, again, for your thoughts! Report Review
It's taking some getting use to, Draco calling Andromeda "Aunt Andie", especially to Hermione and Harry. Calling Teddy a half-breed pup seems as worthy of a hex as Cissy calling her sister's recently deceased child a freak.
I agree with Hermione, I'd want Andie to take care of me if I was sick. :) It's no wonder Snape is attracted.
I do wonder if he would've really said "Those poor kids. They followed Potter to the very end." I could more easily imagine him saying "Those poor dunderheads."
I noticed a lot of "coffee talk" in this chapter. Draco telling Severus all about his aunt. It serves the plot and gives the reader information, but would a teenage boy and a grown man really have that conversation, with Draco recalling all that detail?Author's Response: You're right about the "poor dunderheads." He hasn't gotten those memories back, yet, and perhaps without them, he's not quite in the frame of mind he would be?
The coffee talk is probably a little contrived with Draco. I do suspect that they're used to talking once in a while. In book six both act as if a certain rapport is now gone, but you're right, they might not talk about it quite that way. That's something for me to think about, for sure as I frame future situations.
It is no wonder Snape's attracted, but likewise, it's no wonder that Andromeda doesn't believe his motivations.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Lord Voldemort droned on and on
Monologue-ing. Villains can't resist. :D
I couldn't resist reading your story to see how you write Andromeda/Snape. I can see Hermione binding Snape's wounds, she's the most compassionate of the trio and the most logical.
How intriguing that you had Snape teach Andie (Dromeda is such an AWFUL nickname I can't bear to use it) to make Wolfsbane Potion (in your previous story?). You left off the "Potion", which people naturally do in talking, but in text you should have it to distinguish potion from plant.
I had a hard time imagining Severus admitting to being smitten or sad to leave, but you capture his personality delightfully overall, and he would be the type to resent Ted Tonks' good fortune and "endure the day" at Hogwarts.
The hardest thing for me to adjust to is Andromeda being calm and kind when she's just lost her daughter and son-in-law. You explained it well with the line, "I need to have something to do with myself, anyway, or I'll start brooding and that won't be good for anyone."
Andromeda just seems so cold, telling Draco, "your facts are technically correct" and then saying about Ted, "I wasn't in love with him or anything." I'm hoping she's like Spock in Star Trek 2009, doing her best to suppress emotion.
Just read the end, yes, that's it. I'm glad my faith was justified. :)Author's Response: You're so sweet to read and review this! Thank you!
This Andromeda was attracted to, but not in love when she got married to Ted. (She actually called him 'Mudblood' on their wedding night.) I tried to keep pretty close to canon in the Perseus story, but part of the premise is that the mythical Perseus never met Princess Andromeda before he saw her chained to the rock and I was using that story as my jumping off point. In the chapter after he dies, I have her basically bedridden in a funk that doesn't go away until her grandson is born.
In my mind, there's this Black thing that enables Andromeda to be emotionless when there's work to do, so she doesn't get emotional until she gets a chance to sit down and catch her breath. Ted's the most likeable character in the entire canon, so of course she came to love him. She had to get used to feeling safe first, and then the attraction she always had toward him took over.
Interesting thought about Snape admitting he was smitten. Maybe he wouldn't. It seemed to me that things like that might come to mind as he's trying to place himself... now I'm starting to wonder. I tend to write him as wishing he could be emotional if only he didn't have all that other stuff to deal with. I probably tend to go too far in that direction. Report Review
Welcome home Tim! What a crazy mix of love you're created! I pairs I can think of are almost endless and I can't wait to read more to see how they all come together.
I like the little section with Narcissa speaking to Andie and Hermione and Snape. Very interesting and so her! She would try to do anything to save her family.
Nice job!Author's Response: Thank you! Narcissa is at loose ends and very worried about her family... a mixture that leads to meddling, I'm afraid.
There are a lot of possibilities right now. We'll just have to see how they narrow down. ;) Report Review
Interesting to throw Draco in the mix. I am interested to see how you develop him in your world.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Draco needs a place to recover from the war as much as anyone. Hopefully he'll get a chance to do well. Report Review
Nice start! I like Andie's connect to Draco or atleast the beginning of. I am intrigued by a possible Snape/ Andie pairing could be interesting.
Looking forward to more.Author's Response: Aha! With this, I catch up to my reviews!
I'm glad you're intrigued by this beginning. It's going to be very different from the first story, but the people are the same. More is coming, I promise! Thanks for the review! Report Review
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