The end gave me chills. The simple "Goodbye" being all Severus had to say was perfect, as was the teardrop shaped pendant on a silver chain with a touch of green (Slytherin colours). On a more cheerful note, James's proposal was absolutely adorable and I couldn't help but grin through it. This was all quite touching, good job! =)

Author's Response: Thanks! I personally loved the end :D I had trouble deciding what Severus would say, but the simply goodbye fit perfectly :) I'm glad you liked it!! Thanks so much for the review, it means so much to meee :D
Thanks again

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more chapters pwease! I LOVE IT!!!

Author's Response: Sorry darling, that's all that there is gonna be for this story :/ I'm glad you love it so much though!!
Thanks for the review!!
Hayleekins

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Awww! I literally awwe'ed out loud at that last part! That's so cute! I love it. :) soo sweet. Great job.

Author's Response: Thank-you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the ending, I myself thought it was pretty good for the end :). Thanks for the review!!
Happy writing,
Hayleekins

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Mon amie
sil vous plait
Really good story :)i love the topic and the way its carried out so far

Author's Response: merci merci, mon amie ;)
I'm thrilled you like the way my story is sounding! thanks very much for the review, and happy writing,
Hayleekins

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Hi! I promised to review one of your stories so here it is.

I liked the whole concept of it--Severus being invited to the wedding by Lily and James sort-of apologising to him and stuff. It was written fairly well, and I quite liked Severus' characterisation and the plot was pretty good for a two-shot.

However, I think you need to get a beta. There are quite a few grammatical errors such as dialogue punctuation and awkward wording. Added to that is unnecessary capitalisation of words which aren't proper nouns or names--things like that really get on a nitpicker's nerves--like me. As well as that is the fact that you feel the need to use the word "flashback" to indicate a flashback when you could do this quite easily with italics, to be perfectly honest. It was just little things like this which bugged me and to be frank it detracted me from the story quite a bit. In the future, I think you need a beta to point out your mistakes as one of my pet peeves is to find a story which is actually quite good riddled with errors so I can't even read it properly without wishing a comma was here or whatever. I hope I haven't offended you as this wasn't my intention--I just want you to know what I thought of the story, and it is that I think that overall it's good, barring the grammar mistakes.

Keep writing and keep reading Checkmate--the next chapter will be up soon!

~Soraya~

Author's Response: I'm very, very sorry about not responding to this right away! Thank you very much for your review! I have been interesting in getting a beta for a while now, but I haven't been able to find anyone that is able to do so, but I am still looking. Sometimes I am in a writing frenzy and don't pick up on the grammatical errors, and some slip by me when I read them over again as well, so a beta could be very very helpful. Don't worry, you did not offend me with this review, because it has been very helpful with my work. I will now look a little harder into getting a beta, and try to read my things over very carefully in the meantime. Although I am very bad when it comes to grammar myself, I also find myself picking through other stories and doing the exact same thing-- finding missing commas, or missed periods, etc.
Thank you very much, and Happy writing
Hayleekins

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Aw, the ending made me tear up a bit. I'm such a sap! But, anyway, enjoyed reading this. Great job! :D

Author's Response: You're not the first person to tell me that the ending made them feel like crying!!! I guess I didn't realize how sad it might be while writing it!! I'm just glad that you liked this story!! And I am VERY sorry for not replying to this review in a REALLY long time, I didn't realize that I had any new reviews for this story!!!
Well, thanks again for the very nice review! AND don't worry, I Don't think you're a sap!
~ Hayleekins

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That was really good well done :) I really loved the special place and the gift Severus gave her, and the way it said 'goodbye' at the end, for a moment I wondered if he comitted suicide, and then I remembered he was in the Harry Potter books! I fail, I know. Anyway, that was amazing :D

Author's Response: Thanks! It took me a while to think of James' place, I wanted something different, and beautiful, and... sort of spontaneous to have as a wedding proposal spot for James and Lily... and I thought his secret place fit the bill! I might even snag it for another story?? Who knows ;)
Hahaha, you don't FAIL, I guess he COULD have been committing suicide, but I just meant it as an official end to their friendship... oops!
Thanks again for the review! And like I said in the last review thing, I am SO sorry for not replying >.< I'm so dummy sometimes!
~Hayleekins

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This is good, and you should totally add to it. Although I see you've already added to it... anyway, I really like it :)

Author's Response: haha thanks :) This is actually the FIRST fanfic that I have ACTUALLY completed! I KNOW, I'm proud of myself too! hehehe!!! Thank you so very much for the review!!!
AND I'm sorry for not replying to this review for. like half a month, I didn't realize that I had any new reviews! GAH boo me :)
~ Hayleekins!

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Wow I really love this story - especially the flashback from James' proposal...you've brought out the soppy romantic in me!! Loved it :)

Author's Response: GASP, I thought I already responded to this! My SINCERE apologies!!!
Why thank-you! I enjoyed writing James' part, and was thinking of possible, in the future after all the story itches have been scratched, using his flashback to create a bigger story!
Anyways, I'm REALLY glad you loved it, and I hope that me brining out your inner sop is a good thing... :)
Thanks a bunch, and Happy Writing!
Hayleekins

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*sniff*
so sad!
goodbye? u bring a tear to my eye.
but seriously now, really nicelly cunstructed story, gotta love those hormonal fourth years!

Author's Response: Yes, but I found it a nice ending... poor Severus though.
aha thanks much!! i was worried it night have been a little too 'out-there', so I'm glad you likey!!!
Thanks a bunch for the amazing review, and check back soon, I am getting a banner for this story!! It is REALLY pretty, but there were some changes thatt were needed... either way, it should be up soon!!
thanks agin!
~Hayleekins
if you're looking for more stories, I have a couple more you can check out ;)

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Yay! I like how this ended. I think you did a marvelous job! I loved that there were flashbacks so that there was a more in depth look into their lives. I found that to be a really quite nice touch! Keep up the great writing and UPDATE YOUR OTHER STORY!!! No pressure though! :)

Author's Response: Thank-you! I love the flashback :) YAY!!! You're complements mean so much!
Aha I'M TRYING!!! I'm slow :( It SHOULD be up pretty soon tho, and, I'm getting a banner for it! Yippee!!!
Thanks again!!
~Hayleekins
I give your review a Ten out of Ten!!!

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hello! I just finished reviewing another one of your stories and then went to your profile and stumbled upon this one! I really enjoyed it because I havent really read something like this from Snape's point of view and I think you did a fantastic job! It would be magnificent if this was made into a two shot :)

Author's Response: Hello dear fellow! Well I'm glad you stalked me ;) ahaha Thanks!! I'm glad you liked it! I have been working on another part to it, and it is ubsurdly loong... 3,605 words to be exact : AND ther is still more I'd like to write! GAH! Well, I WILL be posting more onto it, whether it be a long two-shot, or a three-shot, if that's still concidered a -shot :)
Thanks for another review!
~Hayleekins

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As promised, I am reviewing! :)
It was well-written, and a very good idea. I really enjoyed it!
As you said at the beginning, I think it would be good if you made it into a two-shot? Maybe Severus ends up going to the wedding after all? Just an idea.
Over-all though, it was a job well done!

Author's Response: Yay! You're good to your word ;)
Thanks soo much! You're the ONLY one to review this yet, so I owe you another major thanks!
I think I will add on, after the chapter for my other story makes it past validation, but you're just going to have to read what happens for yourself!
Thanks a lot,
Hayleekins

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