I love your opening scene. It's something I could see being played out in front of me and I love how it sort of invites us readers to join him in the back room (well, as you said, not that kind of room). That way you make it much more personal and it holds more meaning than if you used another perspective, say third.
Hmm, Sirius has that bros before hoes mentality which is understandable (Seriously, I had no idea you used that phrase...I'm reviewing as I read). They've been best friends since first year, almost always inseparable then a girl comes along to cause a rift. And it always has to be poor Peter, doesn't it?
I like your characterisation of Sirius just like the one we all know and love the few chances we've gotten to read about him in the books, especially the addition of immature and stubborn. If there is one thing he truly cared about, it was friendship and I like that he could show some loyalty to Peter by insisting to write him a letter, something, as you've pointed out, he rarely ever does.
Something I noticed in this line: A quick smile was she needed to show us that it was only natural for her to do this. , it looks as if you're missing a word in that sentence.
I won't lie to you though, then ending left me rather confused. Though if only Tonks didn't have to leave, then we would have seen the most important part of what he was trying to bring across from his story.
This was a rather unique piece, something I think you should be proud of.
Lia Report Review
It's always good to read things more than once because I picked up some interesting points in this that I hadn't seen before. It's still a fantastic story with a unique and attention-grabbing style the second time, which has to be a good sign. ;)
As for what I saw this time... Remus is Scottish! That would be perfect, not only for the great accent, but also because the isolated regions of Scotland would be a great place to hide as a werewolf. Not to mention a number of sheep for eating. Anyway, the other main thing I noticed was the connection to one of your other stories - it didn't catch in my mind until this time (more awake while reading?), and it fits very well in this, as do the other intriguing details about Sirius you included. For example, you've set him in a different light in terms of his relationship with his family.
There is one thing that I'm uncertain of in all this, and it's why Remus is talking about all this in the first place. He seemed to be very quiet and kept his cards close to his chest. So either he's drunk too much in this (likely) or he already feels an affinity with Tonks. I didn't think of it when I first read this, but now, I'm curious about his statement that he needs to hear himself talk - what has led up to that? Has something made his guilt too unbearable?
Another excellent story, Kali! I don't know how you keep doing it (it's really not fair :P). When are you going to get published, anyway? ;) Report Review
wow. just wow. This completely blew me away. I have never read 1st person written to this degree of perfection! Don't even get me started on the description. Splendid. As Remus talked I could see it all in my head (which was his intention and executed perfectly yeh). All in all this was beautiful work. I loved it. Faved.
Kay~Author's Response: Thank you so much! I can't tell you how monumentally flattered I am by this review, truly. *blush* I am so happy you enjoyed it, and thank you for taking the time to review! :)
XOXO, Kalina. Report Review
I love it, Kali!
I love that Remus is telling the story, and I don't just mean by the point of view, I mean that I could almost hear him telling me his story - even if he was telling Tonks. It was fabulous! I loved the description, the emotion, and Sirius. Did I mention I love Sirius? It's great!
The slash is insanely subtle that even looking for it, I hardly found it. But I can see how Remus would love him (who wouldn't?). It's such a lovely story and you've written it fantastically!Author's Response: Len! Thank you so much for reviewing.
Oh, I'm so glad you liked Remus. I worked super hard on his voice and it's great to hear that you appreciated it ... and I'm glad that you could visualize it! Haha, I'm thrilled you liked Sirius! He's always so childish to me.
Yes, I didn't want to make it too apparent, but maybe I'll write a sequel or Sirius's counterpart story or something along those lines, to build the story up.
Thank you so much for reviewing, Len! *hugs* XOXO, K. Report Review
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