Reading Reviews for Hidden Magic
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by kezza4george Of Understandings and Accusations

24th July 2011:
really good, plz write more.

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm having a bit of a writers block on this one at the moment, but I'm hoping to get the next chapter up ASAP. x

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Review #2, by Barbara Of Angels and Forgiveness

9th November 2010:
Seems like Eva is a very strong willed witch! And, Jace obviously loves her very much--he is quite the protector isn't he? I like the telepathic connection they have. I wonder what Snape is going to do about Jace running out in the middle of detention--even for such a good reason. Snape undoubtable won't think it a good enough reason...

Author's Response: She is indeed strong willed and Jace definately does love her. The telepathic connection between them is part of their past, so more will be revealed later. Yes, I see much detention for Jace lol :D

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Review #3, by Barbara Of Hospitals and Blood

9th November 2010:
Can't wait to learn more about whatever it is that Eva is hiding about herself and her friends. Also, who "them" are and why these transfer students are so afraid of them.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, I'm glad you liked it! All will be revealed, I promise! :D

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Review #4, by jeograph Of Sickness and Trains

24th September 2010:
Just started your story. An interesting beginning... You might have warned people not to start while they are eating! An awful lot of retching going on in this story. Still, I am curious about your little band of transfer students. Lots more to reveal about who they are and where they come from.
Saw that you have been reading my story... Hope you will do me the honor of leaving a few reviews? Every author adores feedback.
I am definitely going to continue reading. I am so far, quite curious.

Good start.

Author's Response: Thank you and yeah, I probably should have.didn't think about it to be honest, :P

I will do that. Yes, I find it helps to inspire me to write more!

Well, I am glad I have caught your attention, hope you enjoy what happens.

Thanks again. x

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Review #5, by Shanice Of Secrets and Side-effects

17th September 2010:
I love it seriously :)

Author's Response: Aww, thank you. :) x

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Review #6, by Elizabeth_Black Of Re-encounters and New beginnings

16th September 2010:
Gosh, I have to say, Eva's full name is beautiful! I love it! :D

First things first, I noticed a few typos:
Sod odd - off.
Timed - times.
I found myself sat in - sitting in.
Breakfst - breakfast.

There were a few grammar mistakes, like some missing or unnecessary capitals and punctuation. (I am obsessive when it comes to grammar, so bear with me!)
Example: "...our transfer students." she said, "You'll be sorted..."
--there should be no full stop (or period, depending on where you're from) after "students"; there should be a comma instead. Also, the "y" in "you" should not be capitalised if it comes after a comma, either. So, really, it's nothing a read over wouldn't fix, as your grammar is pretty good so far. :)

Anyway, moving on from that, like the last chapter, this one was still a bit fluffy, but this still had the (very memorable) sorting hat conversation. (I always love sorting Hat conversations :P)

Jace's personality is really starting to shine through. I like how he is so protective of Eva, and all this mystery surrounding both of them is driving me mental!

It's good that we got to see a bit more of Draco, as I do like how he's been written so far. "Malfoy's don't apologise" - I've seen lines similar to that in a few fanfics but it fits well with this story, and I like how you've used it so far. But, be warned, use it sparingly, as it can get repetitive. However, the line will always make me laugh, as it is so something Draco would say!

I do like how Hermione is written. It's good to see that she and Eva have a few things in common, and I am interested to see where their friendship will lead.

Ron was definitely very cannon - the cake line made me laugh, as did the jab at Malfoy! Both lines were just so "Ron"!

Just out of curiosity, how many more chapters are you planning for this story? Looking forward to the next update!!! :D

~Lizzie xx

Author's Response: I know, it's such a lovely name. I had her shortened to Eva as it is a bit of a mouthful and I always find that people with lovely names like 'Evangeline' ALWAYS hate the full version. :P

Yeah, I get a bit carried away when I type and my fingers twitch (They think quicker than my brain and I have trouble catching up lol. I am forever having to stop and go through the whole thing again lol) I read through countless times and yet bits still creep through.

That's fine. I can be a bit of a grammer freak but punctuation isn't my strongest point.

So do I. The sorting hat is always fun to read (and write). The sorting was a good way of getting a little more info in on Eva and her background/future.

I'm afraid I'm planning on driving you mental for a while yet. Lol :P

I like Draco too, he's turning out better then I'd hoped and I'm hoping to get a bit more of him in too. Yeah, I know what you mean about the "Malfoy's don't apologise" it can get a bit repetitive and boring - especially when not used in the right context.

Hermione for me needs to be a bit of a bookworm, keeping everyone on track with homework and keeping them out of trouble ;D but she also needs to let her hair down every now and then. So I'm hoping that I'll get that across in my story.

I find Ron a little difficult to write; the odd line or two like the cake and jab are easy enough, but trying to get a while section with him is hard. I'll keep trying though! :D

Umm, I don't know is the answer. Hopefull a fair few more - in my head the story is only really at the beginning.

Glad you liked it, next chapter should be up soon. :D

*hugs* xx

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Review #7, by Elizabeth_Black Of Silences and Friends

8th September 2010:
*blushes profusely* Aw, you are too sweet! Thank you so much! Glad I could help :D

This chapter certainly was a bit of a filler/fluff one, but it was quite funny. I liked how it just showed what the group was like, and their personalities are coming through.

Despite the fluffiness, this chapter did set the scene well, there was good conversation and it's great to see more canon characters make an appearance.

I'm glad to see that you added the character descriptions, even if it was just in an A/N. Re-writing the chapters to add the descriptions in would be tedious work!

Your story is moving along, and the beginnings of an interesting plot line are getting clearer, so WELL DONE!!! And there is still the mysteriousness surrounding Eva, so that does make me anxious for more!

~Lizzie xo

Author's Response: You are very welcome! :D

Yes, I completely agree, it is a bit of a fluff chapter but I suppose it was needed to move the story on.

I'm glad you liked it despite the fluff, I'm hoping that the next is a little less fluffy.

That's what I thought. I didn't want to have to go through the previous chapters to add in the descriptions, then wait for the chapters to be re-validated.

The mysteriousness surrounding Eva will be there for a while yet, but I will let bits out as I go along: slowly unraveling the mystery.

Next chapter should be up soon.

Thank you xx

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Review #8, by Elizabeth_Black Of Secrets and Side-effects

30th August 2010:
Ah, well this does explain a few things! Very interesting, and I really do want to find out more about Eva as to why she is both sick and in the dark as to "who she is".

Again, the small details are lacking, but a beta reader could assist. Like wise for the few minor grammar mistakes.

This chapter really shows Jace in a different way. Last chapter, I thought he was a little bit mean to Eva when she was sick, but this does elaborate the situation nicely.

Draco was explained brilliantly as well, and it was unexpected to read something from his POV. I am interested to see where he will go throughout future chapters!

Like I said for the chapter before, I really do see great potential for this story! If you want any help with anything at all regarding this story, feel free to shoot me an email: wayward_angel_66 @ hotmail . com (minus the spaces :P) I would be happy to assist in any way =]

Either way, I am looking forward to reading more and seeing where this story will lead.

~Lizzie xx

Author's Response: :O Two reviews in one day! I feel special :D Yay! Thank you!

I'm glad you like this chapter. I thought at first it would be too repetative, and I didn't even think about Jace (how it would make him seem) so that's even better :)

I added Draco's POV because as I said, I thought the chapter might be repetative, so I wanted to break it up.

I'm a little stuck on what Eva and her friends are doing in the next chapter so it may take me a week or so to get the next chapter up - hope you like it.

Thank you, again. x

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Review #9, by Elizabeth_Black Of Sickness and Trains

30th August 2010:
Interesting story idea so far, I must say. It really is enticing, and I find I want to know more. I love stories that start off already intriguing, and then back-track x amount of months/years. It really keeps the reader guessing =]

Your characterisations are good, but a bit more detail would be welcome. Just little things, like hair and eye colour really help when you're trying to get a visual of the character. But apart from that, it still was a really good opening chapter.

There were some very minor grammar mistakes, nothing that couldn't be fixed in ten minutes.

The flow of the story was good and, I have to say, the opening paragraph was amazing. The choice of words were absolutely beautiful for something quite dark.

I have to point out, though, I was a bit confused as to why Eva was so violently ill ... but it keeps the reader guessing. However, if it was elaborated slightly [either something that's along the lines of a) being sick from nerves is a character flaw, or b) this was a first, and maybe suggest bad luck or something light hearted], it would just clear a few things up. However, that's only my opinion, so feel free to disregard it :)

I hope this review wasn't too harsh! If it is, I am very sorry, but I really see great potential for this story to grow. :) Off to read the second chapter now!

~Lizzie xx

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. Yes, I am rather proud of the first paragraph :P I wanted to show the feelings that the character was feeling rather than just saying that the character was feeling bad, so I'm glad that it actually turned out like I had hoped.

Yeah, I know what you mean about Eva being ill, but I didn't know how to work it into the story without ruining the suspence about WHY she is ill (if that makes any sense).

No, it wasn't too harsh. I like to get some creative critisism - it helps to motivate me :D

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