Oh my goodness sad!
The way you have used the words and phrases in this story fills it with this sorrowful yearning that you physically feel while reading. Seriously I kinda feel sorry for your Tom Riddle who is (by the sounds of it) on this road that will, or already is, leading to Voldermort. Report Review
I really enjoyed the style this story was written in, as well as the couple portrayed. good job :) Report Review
Ritaaa, I miss you. Hope you're doing well. And I miss your writing, too. The delicacy, the care you put in every word. You make doing this look easy when it's nothing but. So, Uber. Jealous.
You know I love Tom/Minerva more than most ships (and if you didn't, here you go), so whenever you post another one of these glimpses into their relationship, I get happy. The first entry in your "series" was beautiful, but I wasn't sure if I'd read this before, hence why I'm here. Now I'm pretty sure I have, but it was nice to sit down and drink this in again. It's gorgeous in so many ways, particularly your diction, which is luxurious yet restrained and, er, gorgeous. Your characterizations seem to take a backseat, though, but as it's a backseat to such beautiful word choice, I can let it slide. There's the enchantment of the sort of attraction - I can't use the word love for them, no matter how much it seems Minerva would like to - and then the pulling apart, and then the coming together again. And it's... beautiful. (It took a second to think of a word that wasn't gorgeous).
And the technical side of this seemingly very simple one-shot: the second person. Which, as you know, I love. It's not done enough and it's not done well enough, either, so it's wonderful to see it after so long. This made me want to write second person again, because it's been so long, and also because I've never done it to this effect before. It's just so pretty, and it works so well with this dynamic. Also, the ellipses at the beginning and end imply that this is a cycle, and I love that little stylistic quirk. It's so unique. It reminds me of that movement when people did the forwards-backwards stories, which always seemed so beyond me, except this is simpler and yet just as, if not more so, poignant. Just flat-out pretty, and we all know I can't resist pretty.
Gosh, how I've missed you! Come back soon, happy and healthy and ready to give the world more of this gorgeousness. Report Review
Beautiful. ^-^ Simply Beautiful. Report Review
Ooh, Tom and Minerva? I've never read one of these.
I love love love how it began and ended! So creative. I sometimes try to do that kind of thing with my titles.
This was a really nice, short fic. :D
Dem Report Review
You really have to stop writing such amazing pieces for my challenges ;P There's only so many times I can leave you gushing reviews without you starting to feel like I'm a typical gushing sort of person, which I most certainly am not. That being said, I'm now going into gushing mode for the rest of this review.
Your hooking first sentence was amazingly hooking. Reading your other stories, I wouldn't have said you had any problem with writing them anyway, but here it seems like you went out of your way to make sure it was absolutely hooking and it made it even more wonderful. I can't really say anything more about the first sentence; it was hooking, short, and to the point.
I loved how this story had something of a rhythm to it as well. It's rare that authors pay attention to that, but you've seen to constructed each sentence painstakingly so that the words just...flow. The short, simple sentences mixed with simple fragments and, just, occasionally, a few different ones thrown in to really catch your attention. I sound like a freak for noticing something like that, but I thought that structuring made this piece even more beautiful.
Even though I've only read one other Minevra/Tom fanfiction, I still think the relationship seems very intriguing and I was definitely interested in seeing your take on them when I read the summary. I might even have to check out the companion piece to this, because the ending of this was unsatisfying (not by any fault of yours, mind you). It was just the barest, most tantalizing glimpse into their relationship and it left me craving more. I've already babbled about format and structure, but I like how you started off with more and more simple sentences and then near the middle you had the least and then near the end you started having more and more. That last clump of lines ("Minevra, he calls. Tom, you gasp" especially) really gave me chills. You're pretty good at doing that, d'you know?
Anyway, back to the whole Tom/Minevra relationship thing. It's so outrageous to me to even think that Voldemort could ever love or be in a relationship with anyone, but, here - even when you give just the barest of details - you've managed to convince me that it could happen. The way you to describe him from Minevra's point of view makes it seem entirely possible. He's charming and smart and respected at school - we know that much - and what girl doesn't love a good mystery, right? And maybe that would be enough to explain his appeal to her, but somehow you manage to make it into so much more than just that.
And I'm a sucker for amazing titles, so I really can't write this review without commenting on yours. Somehow, you always seem to pick the best titles, and this is no exception. I've noticed you seem to have quite a fascination with the French language, and the title here just looks so pretty, and the translation of it is just so fitting. Excellent job with that.
I don't really know what else to say about this except that you are incredible. You have an amazing way with words and, if I haven't told you this in any of my reviews before, I think that you have real talent as a writer, and that's definitely not something I could say about everyone on this fanfiction site. Half of the things I read by you feel like they belong in a novel already; if anyone on this site deserves to be published, I'd say it was you (: Thank you so much for entering my challenge and giving me the opportunity to read this fantastic piece of writing. Remember to check back after the deadline to see if you've won.
Cherry Bear Report Review
That was oh, so pretty. The style--I love second-person POV--the diction. It was gorgeous. Report Review
Admittedly, I'm not a huge fan of Minerva/Tom, but the words are just so beautiful here :)
Loved every second of it. Report Review
So I clicked on this, expecting to see something that I wouldn't enjoy, but wanting to try it out all the same. And I am so, so glad I did, because this is... wow. I never, never thought I would enjoy a Tom/Anyone, but this one has made its way onto my favorites, for sure.
I love your description, the way you describe her feelings and the paragraph about him loving her and then not, what she heard at each stage of their relationship.
I'd like to know just when this took place, but I think it works well just as it is. (:
I loved the repetition you had, especially near the end. It added a feeling of desperation, and whether that was intentional or not, I liked it.
Great job. I will be reading more of your stories, for sure. (:
-Jasmine Report Review
This is excellent, Rita! The short, choppy sentences work perfectly in this, as does the repetition with subtle changes. These things set the mood and reveal a lot more about Minerva than one can actually see in the words themselves. How tense she is, and how fractured she must feel, still longing for him, but knowing that what happened between them in the past can never be repeated. And you only emphasize this further with the last, unfinished line.
The title of this deserves even more praise. The gender switch works so well for this ship - Tom is just like that, without pity or mercy, and the pain that Minerva experiences is a mirror of the knight's pain in the poem. I'm very jealous of your use of it - wish I had thought of it. ;)
Again you've written another brilliant story, though it's almost more like poetry in the way you've formatted the lines. Either way, it's still amazing and I loved reading it. ^_^ Report Review
First of all, gorgeous banner! I saw it at TDA, and I loved it then. I love it even more when it's attached to a story as good as this one is!
First of all, Tomerva is one of my favourite ships, so of course I had to read it :D. You've done it very well here :D.
I loved the first line (I saw it was for the hooking first line challenge, so I guess that's a good thing!). It gave an idea of what the story was about, and at the same time gives a completely false impression of it :P.
I liked the shortness of it, it worked beautifully as it was, still keeping some sense of the mood. I know how easy it is to ramble on and on in these kind of pieces, but you didn't.
The characterisation is good, although there's not much time to appreciate it. I really like the way you use short lines in this too - it adds to the sense of a brief, bittersweet romance. Unless I'm reading too much into it here!
The only thing I'm not so sure about, and it is a small thing, is sometimes the repetition seems a little overdone? I love most of it, but a couple of lines just jarred slightly. For instance, I wasn't completely sure this one worked-
'The moment has passed again.
An eternity has passed again. '
It was more the again I wasn't sure about.
Apart from that, this is a wonderful piece! Everything you write is incredible though, so I really shouldn't be surprised. Report Review
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