You know, I think this was actually one of the harder quotes from this challenge. Maybe it's just me but I think it's sometimes easier to work with something that's off the wall. This one was different, and you utilized it very well.
It was a very realistic depiction of a trap I think a lot of people fall into: giving a cheater a second chance. Compassion and understanding are certainly extremely valuable traits, just the same there are times that call for a firm "NO". :)
I really like your writing style. It flows nicely, and there is something sort of casual about it (I'm not sure that's the right word). It really gives a naturalness to the interactions between characters.
Overall I really enjoyed reading this. :)Author's Response: You may be right there. I don't know about everyone else, but it was quite a challenge to work the quote into the story. But it was supposed to be a challenge, of course :) Thanks!
Thank you, I'm glad you thought it was realistic! I agree; it can be a good thing, being compassionate, just not all the time.
Oh, thanks, that's great to hear! I'm glad you thought the interactions seemed natural too :)
Thanks a lot for your very nice review! Report Review
And interesting concept, I like the characters that you picked, minor characters, yet they still have recognizable names. I loved that. Also I think that most people think the Hufflepuffs have fairly simple lives because they are so kind, caring, and loyal, but you showed how things aren't always easy. Even that those traits can work against themselves sometimes. I really felt for Hannah reading this, that is such an awful thing for one to experience, and even through Susan telling the story, I could feel some of Hannah's emotions, so great job with that.
I feel a few parts of this is a little lacking. Now it is a great start, but it could really use more, to put it simply. I love the flashback, but it takes up about half of this piece, I am not suggesting you should shorten that, but lengthen the other parts. Tell us why Susan was thinking about this in the first place, did someone judge her too quickly and she wishes they hadn't? And the ending, I would have really enjoyed a bit more from Hannah, not necessarily about the ex-boyfriend (who by the way I loved how he was nameless), but as to why SHE thinks this is such a bad idea. The ending seemed a bit abrupt too.
I really enjoyed reading this! Great job!
:)BaletGirAuthor's Response: Thank you :) I like writing minor characters, so it's good to hear you like them too (at least these two, that is). I know; but if Hufflepuffs always had it easy, everyone would want to be a Hufflepuff, right? :)
Thanks! It must be very awful indeed, and I'm glad that Hannah's emotions were still visible even though Susan was narrating.
Ah, yes... I know it's not really my best piece, although that isn't really an excuse, of course. I didn't have a huge plot idea for this, so it's kind of short... When I'll edit this, I'll keep your points in mind, I think they should help me expand this at least a little bit, so thanks a lot for those! As to why Hannah thought it was a bad idea, though, that's right before the flashback - she listened to the boyfriend (I'm glad you liked him remaining nameless!) and was understanding, and it didn't do her much good. I'll make that a little more obvious, then :) As to the ending, it was even more abrupt originally, but I guess I'll try to make it less abrupt when I'm editing this.
I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway, and thanks a lot for your review! :) Report Review
This was interesting, using minor characters to talk about giving people second chances and that kind of stuff. I liked the idea you had, and I really enjoyed the flashback. (Really, I just love flashbacks. ;) )
Anyways, I wouldn't exatcly say that this is your best peice that I've read, but I also wouldn't say that it's horrible. I still enjoyed it, nonetheless, so I wouldn't really worry about it.
Good story and interesting idea. Good job. :)Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you thought it was interesting :) I love minor characters. So it's good to hear you liked that part (and the flashback!).
I agree :( But thanks - I'm glad that it's not horrible! I was afraid people would think that. I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway!
Thanks a lot for the review! :) Report Review
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