This is an extremely original story and feels experimental -- I very much enjoyed the ending with Luna physically gathering up the pieces of Lorcan's broken heart. (Whether this is metaphorical or in the magical realm of possibility is nicely left open for interpretation!)
Your word choices in this piece are so original -- the sun as a "yolky star" brings the color you're after vividly alive in my head while being a strangely otherworldly, sci-fi type description.
Interesting choice to make Lorcan's last name Lovegood rather than Scamander; is there a back story behind this or a free spirited choice befitting one of Luna's kids?
I'm really curious about Hugo & Lorcan's relationship and how it broke down... I'll be thinking about this little piece for a while!Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I haven't had a review on this story for ages, so this is very unexpected. Thank you so much, again!
I think the pieces of the heart were physical in my head, but may have been metaphorical in the story. I dunno - like I said, it was a sort of odd one, even for me.
Ah, word choice. I think that's a high compliment for any writer to receive, so thanks again!
Thanks again for the lovely review. It was super unexpected and completely made my week.
xx Rin Report Review
Oh, oh, oh, this. Why have I not read more of your work before? This is fabulous. I can't even put into words how much my heart aches. I'm left with a sort of hollow feeling in my chest, much like Lorcan, whose heart is laying on the floor at his feet.
Your characterizations are so strong here, so real. Luna, especially, oh my goodness..when she swooped in and spied her son's heart on the floor and then told him time would put it back together? Just, such a Luna thing to say and so perfect.
Poor Lorcan. Your imagery with his broken heart is fantastic and as I said, it dragged me in right with him. And Hugo - he thinks what he's doing is right, that he knows what's best and it kind of hurts that he doesn't seem as affected by this as Lorcan is. Poor, poor Lorcan. I just want to hug him.
The end was beautiful too. The repetition of Lorcan Lovegood sat alone...I don't know, I love the rhythm of it when I'm reading it, and that last bit, his heart all but tangled in his hand. Oomph. So powerful.
Your writing is so unbelievably gorgeous and I definitely need to make it a priority to read more of your work ASAP. Thanks for sharing this little piece of Lorcan's heart with us.Author's Response: Ack, thank you. I don't even know how to respond to this coherently, so forgive my tangled mess of words as they come spilling out now.
Luna really, really scares me. It's not just that she's a canon character (though that scares me quite a bit just by itself). It's that everybody knows Luna, you know? Everybody knows what she's supposed to be like, and if you put one little word out of line (ha, English pun) they're going to come to your house and burn it down.
SO. That being said. Thank you for liking my Luna. I didn't want to have her say too much because I was afraid of her being OOC, but... thanks. :) It is very comforting to hear.
Ah, comments on writing just make my heart explode (in a good way, of course). I think they're some of the highest compliments someone can receive (which I may or may not have said before), so... thanks.
You are beyond lovely. Thanks for dropping by and liking my odd little Lorcan.
xx Rin Report Review
I claimed the review for this story because a) your banner is STUNNING and b) your summary is STUNNING too. I don't even need to read the rest to know it's going to be a work of art.
That line is a stunner to open with. I want to gobble it up. You always create the most fabulous imagery - you did it in Thunderous too, with that memorable depiction of thunder punching across the sky. You have SUCH a gift with words. The way you wrote about Luna picking up and handing him the fragments of his heart... oh my, I could just cry from the beauty and sadness of it. It's one of the most beautiful metaphors I have ever seen.
And he sits there with it "all but tangled in his hand"... How did you think of that? It's so vivid, so real, so gorgeous! I can see him sat there clutching the broken pieces of his heart and it's right there, it's there in front of me, it's real. Fantastic, Rin. Honestly, superb.Author's Response: Whoever you are, lovely mystery reviewer, you are my hero. My absolute, marvelous hero.
Well, to start: THANK YOU. You have no idea what a review like this means to me. I'm flabbergasted, pleased and entirely thrilled to have it left for me. So, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I said it in a review response earlier today, but I'll say it again. I think a review that comments (and compliments) on a writer's style are the most flattering an author can receive. Your praise on my "way with words" is absolutely marvelous to hear. So, again, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You've entirely made my week. Report Review
You left me such lovely reviews I had to come over and return the favor! I'm SOOO glad I did because this was absolutely GORGEOUS!
I can't get over how much you've done with so few words. Lorcan and Hugo and even Luna's characterizations all are so fleshed out it is unreal. How can you tell us so much about a character in a single sentence? In a single word choice, even! And you don't just do it once, you do it over and over: each sentence tells its own story, and makes this one shot so much bigger than it actually is.
"Lorcan, please, I didn't think you'd react this way." His breath floated to the ceiling, light with no meaning, light with no sincerity. "We're adults now."
Pretty sure my heart broke right along with Lorcan's when Hugo said this; so cold and sad and tragically realistic. It's unfortunate that there are people out there who reject that about themselves, and it's believable (and, as I said, tragic) that the son of Ron (who was always so concerned with how others perceived him) and Hermione (always able to coolly use logic to push her case) would react this way.
But then, just when I'm convinced this is going to be all SUPANGST from Lorcan in walks Luna literally like a breath of fresh air. She was just absolute genius. It's so funny, I hardly ever read Luna fics because she is a character that is so hard to get right and now in like a week, without even meaning to, I've read three stories where she was just perfect. I just want to quote the entire section with her because it was all absolutely perfect.
I'm in absolute awe and am super jealous of your mad skillz, but am going to stop gushing now. Looove it!Author's Response: OMIGOSH YOU ARE SO LOVELY I CAN'T STAND IT.
Um... thank you? I'm overwhelmed. I mean, seriously. Flattered here. Everything you just wrote up there made my heart melt a little. I'm so... wow. Blown away. Thank you. Thank you!
LUNA. She scares the bajezzus out of me. I actually hate writing canon characters because I'm terrified of people thinking that they're NOT canon. Because they've been written perfectly before, I don't want to write them myself and then have them turn out OOC. So... thank you. Luna is beautiful in her own way, and I'm super glad that you can see that and I'm ALSO super glad that she's not OOC.
This is... wow. Thank you. You are a lovely, wonderful person. Report Review
Wow, you're descriptions were lovely. Lorcan's reaction to this was well written and really sad. I'm surprised that he could even find it within himself to form words but then again, that's what heart break does. To me he seemed just like a shell of what he could possibly have been before as his heart lay in pieces at his feet.
I like how you sort of personified his broken heart, having it out in the open for all to see, in jagged shards. Luna's role in all this really suited the situation, because when it comes down to it, your mum is always there to help.
I wonder if you used Lovegood as Lorcan's last name on purpose...
Anyway, this was a good piece, even if you think it's odd, lol.
Lia =]Author's Response: Haha, I definitely think it's a bit odd. Especially for what I usually write. :)
Thank you so much! Lorcan Lovegood... I'd never tried writing him before, and he seemed like just the person who'd have his heart literally in pieces. Anyway, I'm glad you liked him, as he seemed to grow on me as I was writing him. He was something new and different, something that I'd never tried, so I'm definitely very pleased that you ended up liking him.
Luna... I was deathly terrified of writing Luna. I usually try to stray away from canon characters because I'm afraid I'll write them all wrong. Still, I'm really glad you liked her as well.
Thank you so much! I really, really appreciate such lovely reviews (especially from you!). Report Review
This was lovely! I loved the descriptive language of the piece. It flowed quite nicely together. This wasn't just a normal tale of a break up it was the shattering of someone's heart at it's core, and I really enjoyed that (as twisted as that may sound).
I also loved how obscure the pairing was. I don't think I've ever seen or read a Hugo/Lorcan before this. It was quite an interesting ship.
As far as characterizations go you got Luna spot on. I absolutely adored her. & I like the characterizations of Hugo and Lysander.
I could sense the tension in the room, and I couldn't help but pity poor Lorcan.
Great job with this piece. It was certainly original and unique! I really could appreciate that.
As far as spelling, grammar, and syntax go I didn't find any errors. So kudos there. Pieces with polished grammar are always something I can appreciate.
Great job with this piece! Though, depressing and strained, the melody of this piece was quite beautiful.
LindersAuthor's Response: Oh, wow, thank you!
I was absolutely terrified to write Luna. I usually try to stay away from Hogwarts Era canon characters, because I'm always so scared I'll write them completely wrong and people will throw eggs at my house. But thank you! My mind is eased. :)
Ah, Hugo/Lorcan. I didn't think I'd read one of these before, so I decided to try my own! I'm really glad you liked the result. Lorcan just seemed like the kind of person who would have his heart -literally- on the floor.
Thank you so much! I'm... flattered. I appreciate it more than you know. Report Review
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