Reading Reviews for Oblivious
  
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheHeirOfSlytherin We only part to meet again

30th May 2012:
Interesting first chapter, I'm intrigued to know more. Why is Hermione in hospital? Exactly what happened in the beginning?

And Ron has a wife! Wow...

Great start.

Author's Response: :) :)
thanks for reading/reviewing!!

well the reason why hermione is in the hospital will be soon revealed at chapter three..
now back to ur first question i'm afraid the story will go on for a while without me giving out what happened at the beginning and what is the grave discovery hermione had made.. *wink*

~marlita


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Review #2, by charlottetrips We only part to meet again

27th May 2012:
OK, so here we go on a brand new Dramione. I immediately liked the premise from the start. Hermione waking up without memories, a mystery to solve and a possible romance? That's just got my mind going in all sorts of directions!

A little point to make this a little clearer and therefore flow better, you put an author's note at the end clarifying what was happening up top. I would actually just back up and take a look at what you could add to the above to make it even more descriptive and flow. You've got a good concept of dialogue and basic description but you can actually add more so that we KNOW it's Hermione, Draco and Ron's POVs at the time. Just a little name or thoughts about their families (like you kind of did in the end) would make it easier.

Also the spacing between paragraphs could be fixed. You don't have to have a new line for each sentence, but if the sentences are about the same sort of concept, you can keep them together into a paragraph - like in books and such.

I like that you've given us a little bit with each person on what's happening in their lives. Then Ron being married but still thinking of having feelings for Hermione! Whoa! I hope that you'll explain and draw out the growth these people have had in 10 years. Though why would Hermione be in Hogwarts (was it?) if it was 10 years later...unless she was a teacher...I guess I'll have to read and see!

xChar

Author's Response: char!!:)
hi!!i'm glad you liked the story..
all feedback is extremely valued; i will revise all the validated chapters and update this story first as it's my favorite...!
~marlita


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Review #3, by Kwan Meet the Redhead

20th May 2012:
Tagging from the Slytherin review thread!

This was a good start with a decent premise. There's nothing wrong with your writing, but there were a lot of formatting issues that made it difficult to read. Paragraphs that weren't double spaced and the strange breaks sort of disrupted the flow and made it difficult to read sometimes.

Otherwise, I like the character of Belvina is interesting and the interactions between Ron and Draco, while a bit overblown, were in character and well portrayed. It'll be interesting to see what happens once Hermione wakes up.

Author's Response: thanks so much for reviewing :)
i know i suck at formating the story and i'm working on finding a beta to help me with my mess of thoughts :$
i will revise the chapter and update the story soon!!!:)
~marlita


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Review #4, by confused Meet the Redhead

6th May 2012:
what did the background information add to the story? we understand that ron didn't marry hermione but do we really need to know that belvina likes to paint and fly? i think once the story takes off it will be good so good job on that

Author's Response: thanks for reviewing:)
well belvina's likes and dislikes are just additions to her character..what's important is to know that even she is a pureblood she still enjoys muggle things..that's essential *wink*
~marlita


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Review #5, by clairevampiress Meet the Redhead

6th May 2012:
I like how your going back and forth. It makes a reader try to put peices together. I look forward to the next chappy.

Author's Response: thanks so so much for reviewing!!:)
i'm glad you liked the story!!!
~marlita


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Review #6, by ms simone Meet the Redhead

10th August 2011:
love the plot.. please update soon!

Author's Response: :):)
i promise i will!!
thanks for reviewing!xx


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Review #7, by loz Meet the Redhead

9th December 2010:
oh ron.you can't just barge into her life again. you choose.
great story so far. cheers

Author's Response: thanx for reading and reviewing :)
xxx


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Review #8, by Jakeyboyxxx We only part to meet again

3rd December 2010:
Oh my gosh this was so good! Ahahaha I love the way you always end things in a cliffhanger I'm definately going to read the next chapter
Lol I love the way Malfoy acts all mature and dignified ahaha he's my favourite character :)
I really think your a great writer btw and now I'm off to read the next chapter!
xxx

Author's Response: thanks for gr8 feedback once again sweetie :)
glad u liked it..i looove cliffhangers but you probably got that =P
let me know what you think about the next chapter..
xxx


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Review #9, by Jessica Caron Meet the Redhead

15th November 2010:
no it was not confusing. i wish you would have mentioned Ron's wife.

Author's Response: on the next chpater there will be more about belvina's mother dont worry..
im finally writing the next chapter!:))
thanx for reviewing!!
xxx


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Review #10, by Jessica Caron We only part to meet again

15th November 2010:
oh this is a god chapter continue the story please. i would give you higher but i can't

Author's Response: thank you so much for the positive feedback!:):)
it really means a lot to me!:)
xxx


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Review #11, by dracorocks Meet the Redhead

28th October 2010:
blaise?
hmmm i wonder what he has to do with everything..
UPDATE
10/10

Author's Response: i guess you just have to wait and see:)
*wink*
thanks for reviewing!
xxx


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Review #12, by TheFourMusketeers Meet the Redhead

24th October 2010:
Hmmm I kinda like it update soon

Author's Response: im goin to update asap!:)
thanks for reviewing..!xx


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Review #13, by Nia is a Rose Meet the Redhead

15th October 2010:
Um, I found the whole thing with Belvina to be completely random considering what happened in the first chapter. Also it might have helped had you mentioned when everything was happening before readers read the chapter. It just makes the reading go smoother and less confusing.
I still want to see where this story goes.

Author's Response: you mean like at the beginning?
my email is marlita1311@hotmail,com (replace the comma with full stop) and i could use some help while moving on with this story..could you email me in case u are intersted..?
thanks for reviewing!:)
it's always nice to read suggestions so i can improve my writing :)


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Review #14, by amazinghermione Meet the Redhead

14th October 2010:
ron still has feelings for hermione..and his wife is somewhere nearby right..??
ohh that's intersting..
and draco can't get the image of hermione's eyes out of his head...
UPDATE SOON!

Author's Response: i will update asap..
yeah there is goin to be some major drama..
i loove those!
thanx for reviewing!:)


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Review #15, by d.for.draco Meet the Redhead

14th October 2010:
little confused at first..
i was like "am i reading the wrong story?"
hehe
but then i got it..
so belvina is the daughter of ron and this girl Ariel? (nice name by the way..)
im looking forward to read moreee..!!
update soon!!
xxx

Author's Response: hehe
sorry for the confusion..
i know im giving limited information but it's only because it's the beginning of the story..
think of it as the foundation..
oh and about the name,,
i actually looked it up a bit:
Ariel is the Angel of Healing and New Beginnings.
And that's what Ariel is to Ron: a new beginning...
stay tuned for moreee :)
thanks for reviewing!


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Review #16, by TheWolfLover Meet the Redhead

14th October 2010:
Interesting. I'm looking forward to more.

Author's Response: thanks!:):)
i will try and update as soon as i can :)


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Review #17, by d.for.draco We only part to meet again

12th October 2010:
wow..
sooo much mystery!
what was that with Hermione??
nice switching between povs :)
keep it up!

Author's Response: thanks for the review :)
chapter two sould be up the next couple of days!
xx


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Review #18, by quirkycharm We only part to meet again

12th October 2010:
oh my goodness, i cannot wait to find out what happens next!

there's already a good amount of mystery, plus there's the whole ron thing. keep it up and post again soon please!

Author's Response: the next chapter should be up soon..
thanks sooo much for the review!! :):)
hugs,
xxx


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Review #19, by TheWolfLover We only part to meet again

12th October 2010:
I like this so far, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: it's up for validating :)
thanks for reviewing!!
hugs
xx


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Review #20, by amazinghermione We only part to meet again

26th September 2010:
nice start!!
i think its a gr8 idea to have a healer draco and a hermione teacher..
what happened in the beginning??
mysteryy..
i want chapter two:)

Author's Response: im glad u like it!!
stay tuned for more...
x


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Review #21, by dracorocks We only part to meet again

26th September 2010:
i like the beginning of ur story:):)
cant wait to read more!!!

Author's Response: thanx:):)
im goin to update soon dont worry!
xxx


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Review #22, by Nia is a Rose We only part to meet again

24th August 2010:
You caught my attention but the chapter was kind of hard to read. You have paragraphs but it's hard to tell when you start a new one. I double space my paragraphs to make it easier.

Other than that is was good.

Author's Response: sorry about that..
i wrote it in a different format but i had problem with validation..im gonna try and edit it again..
glad you liked it!
thanx for reading:)
xx


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Review #23, by rj_sunshine We only part to meet again

23rd August 2010:
OMG. husband? and ron might have feelings for hermione? drama! cant wait to read more 9/10 great idea to make draco a healer ;)

Author's Response: thanx!!im working on the next chapter:)

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