Reading Reviews for A Sin With No Name
75 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Illuminate Prologue: Over Coffee

19th May 2011:
Hey there! It's been so long I doubt you even remember that you requested reviews from me! xD I'm very sorry!

This prologue was very well written, and I got into it. It did its job :) And all components- dialogue, characterisation, description etc- were all carried out well! The only issue I had were that I didn't think that the two storylines didn't particularly connect or really make sense together, but that's definetely just my nitpickyness :)

Overall, awesome job! Well done!

Author's Response: I think I win for the how-long-it's-been thing =P So sorry. But I really appreciate your review! I agree that the two storylines don't really connect as well as I would like. I hope to take another look at this story and maybe give it a rewrite. Thank you so much for your review!

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Review #2, by MaraudersRule96 Caught in Circles

8th February 2011:
I like this story alot. It's very well written and has a great plot. I can't wait for the next chapter! Update soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hope to update this story soon!

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Review #3, by TenthWeasley Caught in Circles

18th January 2011:
No one's stopped by to review this yet? Well, they must have Nargles floating 'round their brains, that's all I can figure. =) I'm honored to be the first!

Okay. As I have stated, I think your picture of Teddy and Victoire is absolutely spot-on. I love reading their parts most - Teddy's unbearable sweetness makes me smile, and sad when we move the focus off him! I'm so sad for him, though, he is obviously struggling a lot with his marriage. Poor Teddy.

I love the character of Cort, too - it's nice to break away from the lovely but much-used ScoRose. (I'm as guilty of this ship as anyone - gotta love a star-crossed pair!) And Cort's such a gentleman, I really hope thing turn out happily ever after for him and Rose. For some reason, I think he's a really good match for her.

You write very well - effortlessly, I might even say, although that's certainly my own opinion. Your words flow very nicely on the page and make for a very nice, easy, and comfortable read. I look forward to more chapters of this story! Feel free to request more any time. =)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I have always had this image of Ted and Victoire's relationship, and I'm glad you think it works. I am so honored by your kind words! Thank you so much for taking the time to review my work. I really appreciate your time.

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Review #4, by TenthWeasley Our Only Daughter

18th January 2011:
Awww. I absolutely love the Teddy/Victoire parts. My heart goes out to Teddy every time he appears on the page. What a great husband he is! ♥ You're writing him so, so, so well. Definitely my favorite in this fic. =)

Okay. ONE more chapter, and then you will get the review you deserve. Honest to Merlin! (Heehee, I made Fred say that in my novella. I just got reminded of that.)

Sorry. Digression. UGH. =) Here we go!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review. I hope to continue working on this story.

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Review #5, by TenthWeasley The Empty Slide

18th January 2011:
Oh, dear. Poor Ron. And Rose. And Teddy. And Victoire. And Cort.

Poor, poor, poor everyone, it seems!

I'm so sorry I can't stop to say more. I really want to, but I simply must keep going! I must seem like a terrible reviewer now, huh? =/ I promise you'll get a nice review at the end! So, onward and forward it is!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

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Review #6, by TenthWeasley Vanilla Latte, Sprinkle of Cinnamon

18th January 2011:
Woah woah woah! What is this now, with Teddy and Rose?!

Haha, I'm like hanging onto the edge of my seat, wondering where this is going. It's been a while since I read such a purely enjoyable fic, one that wasn't seemingly trying to unravel life's mysteries as it went. That's weird, I know, but I'm trying to tell you that it's VERY GOOD. =)

Chapter four, ahoy! Brilliant so far!

Author's Response: Thank you! You know me, I like to push the boundaries, especially with romance =P Thank you! I hope you continue to enjoy the story! Thanks!

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Review #7, by TenthWeasley True Colors

18th January 2011:
Nooo! Come back, Teddy, she didn't mean it!

Whoops. Got a little carried away there. ^^ I really like this story - honestly, it's much better than I was expecting! (Sorry if that sounds mean, but I intend it as a compliment!) I like the romance, I love the way you write the characters - I'm just so hooked, now!

Onto chapter 3, then! (I'm really sorry these are kind of short reviews - I'll leave a longer one at the end of chapter six. Yeah, I'm reading all the way with this one!!)

Author's Response: Haha! Thank you so much! I am so glad I am surprising you in a good way! I hope to take another look at this story and maybe rework it so that it's even better. Thank you so much for your reviews!

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Review #8, by TenthWeasley Prologue: Over Coffee

18th January 2011:
Hello! This is TenthWeasleyWriter from the forums, with your review. =)

I really like this story so far! It's very sweet and tender, and not over-long, which I also like. Sometimes people tend to drag out their stories just for word count, and it gets a bit tedious sometimes. I kept reading right to the end in this story, though!

I'm very intrigued to keep reading - onto chapter 2!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I know it's only the first chapter, but I'm so glad you are so interested right away! Thank you so much for your review!

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Review #9, by Jackson Robles True Colors

17th January 2011:
So I've got a better way to put it! It's like you cast a line to us - the reader - like you're fishing. And we're the fish. And we're coming to the hook, ready to bite at the worm. But then you retract it! Right as we're about to bite - and instead of feeling cheated and left to twist in the wind, we're relieved and surprised! It's like you played a bit of a joke on us and we're left grinning, feeling oddly at peace. (If that makes ANY sense!) haha

So where are we. Obvious strife, and a bit of communication error where people assume this (people meaning Vic.. and maybe to some extent the Rose/Cort fiasco) wrong idea and all that goes along with the whole extortion ;) (I'm watching Return of the King while writing this.. so if some of the wording seems strange it is because I'm watching Gandalf scold Pippin...) RIGHT! So after an hour, I'm back to writing! (Good stuff though)

I think what I really like, for me, about these chapters, is their like pictures (worth how many words) - we're getting glimpses, and I don't exactly feel as though the story has started up quite yet. And while I don't see that as a bad thing, I really do like this 'picturesque' style I've found you writing in.

You continue with those powerful sentences - a wonderful tool to use. It is exemplified right off the bat when you are in Vic's head and she over and over and over implies that THIS TIME it would be different - THIS TIME it would work - and then there's the sentence - just a lone sentence - that contradicts her entire thought process. That's powerful, poignant writing at it's best. And I love it.

I also adore those short, bright sentences that take control of everything, and the best example of those is the sentences that end this chapter. It's powerful - he tries, she rejects him - he seemingly rejects her. And the slamming door means so much! .. I mean, quite a lot does, and I find myself reading the first romance that I'm not already predicting through to the end - or bored with, you know?

Her reaction seemed kind of blatant - and not really at first, but then when she said "Well I don't feel like your wife" - that feels blocky to me, like she's indicating, I suppose, you know? And I HATE to say this - but who really talks like that? It struck me as a form of melodrama, but I guess to me it sounds like that.

Uhm. I hate to end this review on a low note, so I will say I enjoyed the character development. Rose strikes me as a romantic, but regular, girl just trying to connect with someone she has a good time talking to - but losing her patience wit him (and being unable to figure out that early on that the relationship just can't work). Teddy feels stagnant in that he really is supportive of his wife and is unbelievably forgiving - though it's HER mentality that ruins most of it. Her controlling personality just causes her to become so emotionally frustrated at not being able to control one of the most important aspects of her being.

So! I liked it :) If that wasn't clear at all.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Jackson! I really adore your reviews--you open up a real conversation about writing as a craft, which I really appreciate!

I'm honored by your fishing metaphor!

Thank you so much for your comments on my writing style. I experimented with playwriting and screenwriting which are more visual, and I am very happy to see that this same sort of picture style of writing works in prose too.

Thank you so much for your critique! I hope to take another look at this story and rework it.

Thank you!

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Review #10, by Jackson Robles Prologue: Over Coffee

17th January 2011:
Right! So that two week turnaround has hopefully been thrown away and most definitely ignored completely. I am Jackson and I'm here to look over this lovely little prologue that introduces your story - A Sin With No Name! I enjoy that, it makes me feel like this story will be a tale of adultery - now, I know that's giving the sin a name and I most definitely DON'T enjoy adultery, but you will definitely have to excuse my rambling...

Let's start out shall we? I haven't reviewed since the Summer, so we'll see how this goes, right? I'm going to start off with little ... bit of observation. I don't have much of an opinion on whether these things are good or not (I'm not THAT guy) haha, but they did stick out to me.

You have a slight affinity for rather interesting sentence structure. You withhold what is perceived as the interesting (and in most cases a bit of irony, as I feel like the clever aspect of your writing is portioned in those cases) I mean these:

"The drapes were, in fact, shower curtains; the young couple couldn't afford the burgundy ones that fit Victoire's liking."

(twice in the following sentences)

"Picking out their home, too, was a decision on which Victorie had the final say. For Teddy, life would be about making his new wife happy.

At the moment, he knew what that meant."

The latter sentence exemplifies it perfectly! I haven't had a straight up English class this semester and I forgot the literary term for this style, but it is very potent when used sparingly, and in this instance it manages to condense itself in such a way that it makes reading feel like ... a report, but creative and pulls me in most easily.

Muggle, I think, should be capitalized. At least in the American HP books it always shows up as a capitalized word when I read -I suppose.

I liked the repetitive start of the final three sentences. A sincere sense of romanticism is changed then to foreboding just by those alone. That, I think, is my favorite part of this chapter. The switch from narrative back and forth wasn't adherent to the plot or flow at all! In fact, I much liked it. It felt, to me at least, like we were getting just the facts and quick points of a newspaper article, but in fact much better written than a newspaper article. ;)

Even the POV, though it was subtle, the piece was obviously through the eyes of Teddy and Rose. Which, considering there's a pairing listed as Teddy/Rose - I find that compelling. Also! Cort... such an interesting name to me. I think of 'court' - then I think of tennis and it goes into a list of Roger Federer and Andre Agassi (I think that's the spelling).

So! Structure was very interesting, especially concerning most sentences - it really added to the start drama (as it should, since you are introducing a heavily dramatic story). Characters are obviously well defined, although Rose is still foggy to me.. Cort is obviously a very good guy (in this prologue), Teddy was outrightly defined, as was Victorie... and it all works very well. I want to know more, and I have a feeling I know a slight amount, but I can see there's plenty I still want to know!

So.. good job? XD A very good job!

Author's Response: Wow, this is a wonderful review! I am so sorry I sort of dropped off the planet for a while. But I sincerely appreciate this review! You touch on some sophisticated things that I was hoping someone would pick up on. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review!

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Review #11, by The Captain Vanilla Latte, Sprinkle of Cinnamon

16th January 2011:
Bad Cort! I'm loving your story, but I'm not really sure if I find Cort and his behavior believable. He seems a bit out of place, since he isn't thinking about what's on all guys' minds, while Rose is. How long were they together before this? I'm not sure if you said that earlier. I may have missed it. Anyways, the fight seemed a little off. Of course, they had to break up so that Rose would be single for Teddy, but Cort seemed a little out of character. I had a difficult time believing that he would be so forward and blunt with Rose considering how shy he normally is. He doesn't seem like a confrontational type.
Teddy seems so much better in comparison. He's a sweetheart, comforting Victoire and getting her coffee.
There is a rather large age difference between Rose and Teddy, and I'm looking forward to seeing how you deal with that.

Author's Response: Thanks! I understand what you mean, but just because it's not the norm for male behavior at his age, that doesn't mean it's wrong. Men have this problem more than they'd like to admit. I've just created a character who admits it. I wanted to write a story that shows a different side of male characters that people don't usually see.

They have been together about three months.

It's a bit more involved than Rose being single for Teddy, but I appreciate that you are understanding the pieces I've already placed. =) Though Cort is normally shy, he is comfortable around Rose enough to say what is on his mind. Rose brings out that side of him.

Thank you so much! I hope you continue reading to find out how they get together!

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Review #12, by The Captain True Colors

15th January 2011:
Haha! I called it. Of course things can't stay perfect. What fun is reading a story then?
I'm getting a little suspicious of Cort. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like there's something going on with him. He's got a hidden agenda of some sort. Maybe not a vicious secret, but there's something going on with that boy.
Victoire is a rather emotional woman, isn't she? I feel bad for poor Teddy. He is trying to make her happy. On to the next chapter to see what happens between them!

Author's Response: Haha! Exactly! We have to have some drama here and there ;)

Perhaps you'll have to stick around and see what Cort's deal is! I'm so glad you are reading into this story the way you are, though. It makes me feel so good as an author =)

Thank you so much!

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Review #13, by The Captain Prologue: Over Coffee

15th January 2011:
I adored how you didn't beat around the bush. The first line told us everything. Time, plot, main character. Have you ever seen (500) Days of Summer? Your opening line reminds me of the things that the narrator says in that movie.
I'm looking forward to finding out why the story keeps switching over to Teddy and Victoire.
Everything seems so perfect at the end of the chapter, so I'm expecting disaster or some sort of drama will occur soon.
Also, I really like when Rose mentions liking the way Cort bobs his knee when he's anxious. It's a small thing, but it's sweet, and it shows how well she knows him.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I haven't seen that movie but I am dying to! Thanks!

The four of them have very intricate story lines and I hope you find them nicely woven =)

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review =)

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Review #14, by libby103 True Colors

15th January 2011:
Hey! It's Liberty from my review thread on the forums!

So now I see where you're going with this now. I also just looked back at my thread and saw that this is a Teddy/Rose I definitely know where this is going to lead.

Only strange thing is...don't Rose and Teddy have 9 years of age separating them?

Anyways, transitions came after longer segments in this chapter, so I liked the flow better.

Victoire's hopelessness at her womb being barren makes me sad! At the same time, this is the 21st century that this is set in, it's not as a big of a deal to not get pregnant these days. However, Victoire might've grown up with that view that wives are for baby-making.

Cort is also a bit out of the 21st century, not wanting to have sex first chance he got.

Rose seems a bit eager to get to sex, which is strange, because it seems like a bit of role-reversal between the male and female parts of a relationship.

Teddy seems to be a bit hopeless about his situation with Victoire. It seems like he cares much less than she does whether she conceives or not.

So your characters are definitely gaining some depth. Your plot is thickening dramatically, and in a good way. I love dysfunctional relationships.

p.s. Feel free to re-request me on my thread, I actually skimmed through other chapters and think this story has a lot of potential!

Author's Response: Haha! Now you see where my ideas are going =)

I have thought this through several times. They have about eight or nine years of age separating them, but I promise I can justify their being together. Please stick around and see how it works out!

It's not that she thinks wives are for baby-making, but she just feels somewhat useless because she can't. She knows that there is more to being a wife than producing children, but it makes her feel like less of a woman because it's something she's supposed to be able to do but she just can't.

I know it's rather odd for the guy in a relationship not to want to have sex, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing to include in a story. The "role-reversal" as you called it, is something that I had planned from the beginning. I wanted to make this story different from any story one had read before. I wanted to show that while this isn't the norm for relationships, it can still happen.

Well, it's not that Teddy doesn't care if she conceives or not. He just doesn't want her to feel like she is worthless. Ultimately, Victoire is his wife, and that's all she has to be. The mother of his children is secondary.

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like the story thus far. I'll pop back into your review thread!

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Review #15, by libby103 Prologue: Over Coffee

15th January 2011:
Hey! It's Liberty from my review thread on the forums!

So this is a nice little introduction to the characters, it also gives a bit of a foundation to build the rest of your story on.

However, the flow of this chapter is really rough. It's not the transitions aren't obvious, the dashed line informs us very well, but I feel as if the cut off points come too soon, all the while, however, the cut off points come at appropriate times.

The chapter is a Prologue, so it's really short, we're just introduced to what seems to be the main relationships of this story; Rose and Cort, Teddy and Victoire. I'm not really sure where you're going with it, but it's really cute.

I love how Rose and Cort meet under the slide, and how much they take to eachother.

However, I got a little annoyed with Cort. He kept telling Rose she was pretty...over and over...without saying anything else really. I don't know whether he's shallow, nervous, but it just sounds weird, and he doesn't really sound like a person I'd want to date. But Rose might, to each their own.

Teddy and Victoire's relationship seems a but strange, considering she seems a bit bossy, but they seem to truly love eachother.

I don't really have much...short chapters and short reviews go together...

Author's Response: Thank you! I can see where you would find the transitions rough, but I didn't want to cram too much into one chapter because I didn't want to confuse any readers. I didn't want to go into too much depth because there would just be too much information about too many different people.

Thank you! I'm glad you like the characters =)

I understand what you mean but it wasn't my intention for Cort to appear shallow. Just nervous. I wanted it to seem like he was nervous to tell a girl that he thought she was pretty because he had never done it before. I meant for it to be a cute, nervous thing, not a shallow thing.

Thank you so much!

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Review #16, by katebabelovesharrypotter Our Only Daughter

15th January 2011:
I have to compliment you on your dialogue. It feels so real! I think that you do a good job giving your characters the right words and thoughts. It sticks out as something I can relate to without being able to relate to the actual events on an empathic level. This was wonderful!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you like my dialogue because it's something I pride myself on. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review and I hope you continue reading!

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Review #17, by katebabelovesharrypotter The Empty Slide

15th January 2011:
I loved this chapter! your writing is so eloquent and I immediately get into the story, almost the second I beguin reading. I love the wya the story flows and how you develop where your characters are in their relationships. It feels natural, like these thigs are really happening. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you! "Elegant", eh? Wow, thank you! I appreciate your review so much. I am so honored to hear that the story feels natural and that it feels like it's really happening. That's such a high compliment - I can't thank you enough!

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Review #18, by NeverGotHerLetter Vanilla Latte, Sprinkle of Cinnamon

15th January 2011:
Aww this chapter was really really sweet, a change from last chapter which was good - it's good to have variety :)
I especially liked the last section and it's nice that you've kind of intertwined the two view points now :)
When Cort called Rose a trashy whore, my mouth literally dropped open!
Also, the relationship between Rose and Teddy is really good :) I like how you've made them close, and that he has a special nickname for her, and that she can tell his voice anywhere :)
You're a really good writer, and I like what you've done with this story. If you'd like me to review some more chapters, then repost on the forum. Good luck with this story!! ~NeverGotHerLetter x x x
- Chapter 1: 9/10
- Chapter 2: 10/10
- Chapter 3: 9/10

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, it was my plan to have the two stories meet now. I'm glad you liked that. =)

Thank you! I'm glad you can see the relationship between Teddy and Rose beginning to develop. That was my plan :D

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your reviews. Maybe I'll check out your review forum later! =)

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Review #19, by NeverGotHerLetter True Colors

15th January 2011:
Me again! Wow! This was a really powerful chapter!! Really really good. I got an insight in to your characterisation of the next gens which was good; both Rose and Victoire's selfishness was good, except I suppose that in Vic's case it's cause she was over emotional. The end kind of confused me though; why did Teddy have to leave :( I love Teddy! I don't want him to go!! Oh, one more thing; i really really really liked the beginning, it was really effective and really hooked me in. This chapter gave me a good insight in to each relationship's 'True Colours' :) Well done :) xx

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you like this chapter. I'm glad you thought the characters were well done. I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

Thank you so much!

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Review #20, by NeverGotHerLetter Prologue: Over Coffee

15th January 2011:
Hello! It's NeverGotHerLetter from the forums here!
I think this is a really really good start. Really deep and really shows both couple's love and emotions.
I love how you've portrayed Teddy and Victoire's relationship; I think it's realistic that Victoire's very controlling and Teddy's really laid back, but then that all changes when they're making love. A really sweet detail.
The only thing in this chapter is that Cort's personality has kind of confused me; in the beginning he was really cool and confident, and then towards the end, he's all nervous and stuttery? Did you want his personality to change with age?
Other than that, brilliant :)
~NeverGotHerLetter x x x

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it as a start. =)

My intention wasn't that his personality changes with age, but just that he gets nervous around Rose because he really likes her. I can see how it would be confusing though. I'll see what I can do about that.

Thank you!

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Review #21, by LovelyMioneWeasley Vanilla Latte, Sprinkle of Cinnamon

14th January 2011:
I think Rose and Cort were both justified in the argument which makes it an argument. Rose was wrong to bring up maturity and Cort was wrong to call Rose a trashy whore-- not a classy move indeed. Well done on their scene and I liked the intersection of both of the dialogues finally taking place in a coffee shop. I do love coffee shops.

In general, the dialogue seemed natural and the flow was done well enough. There was something about the way that Rose looked up to Teddy though that unnevered me. "Whenever making an important decision, her subconscious asked, “What would Teddy think of this?”' That line in particular just sent warning signals off in my head. To start out a relationship so one-sided seems a bit unnerving. I imagine the build up from here will be interesting.

Teddy was sweet as a husband and his friend. His advice was well placed and seemed well received so approving all around. The little things do really count the most in a marriage so I really enjoyed that line.

The pacing in this chapter seemed a bit off compared to the other chapters; the explosion of the break up seemed to come out of nowhere as Teddy thought about his sweetheart, and Rose's crying did not seem extended enough. Rose's immediate rebound in the conversation with Teddy also seemed a bit unrealistic. All suggestions though; I do really enjoy your writing style. I still think its similiar to the first chapter where I discussed the storytelling feel.


Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you thought their fight scene was well done. I feel like it might be a bit rushed still, but I'll see what I can do about that. I'm glad you like it!

I see how it would seem one-sided at this point, but I promise I justify it from both angles in future chapters. Thank you so much!

Yes, I agree with you. The pacing is somewhat off on this chapter. I'll see what I can do to fix that.

Thank you so much!

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Review #22, by LovelyMioneWeasley True Colors

14th January 2011:
Dum dum dum...

I really liked this chapter and the chapter title. Another suggestion I would give for the title is "crumbling." Because I feel like that was the entire theme of the chapter was the ideas that all the walls were crumblings.

Cort's a very different male character; Rose's guilt is understood but I'm intrigued by the idea of the guy not being ready. It actually shows a great side of maturity and almost confidence for a guy to admit that. If Cort was really shy and unconfident, then I feel he would have clumsily gone a long with it. So the matching could be iffy if you want Cort to be unconfident, but if you wanted him to have some semeblance of confidence, then well done.

Victorie's desire to be pregnant was heartbreaking because I have older friends going through the same issues. Five years is a hard, long road but her cowardly nature to not pursue magical helps is a fault. It is no one's fault but her own at that point to not try to take all measures; I liked the focus more on Vic's view over Teddy's so why not do the same with Rose and Cort? Why not tell the shocking story from Cort's POV? It would have made an interesting change. Well done on the progress though.

I also meant to comment on your TA status last chapter; well done on that front. Its intidimating though too because you can post whenever you are done and have edited, but there is also this pressure to update because you have no queue to wait on. Best of luck with it all!

9/10 Lindsey

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, 'crumbling' does sound like what is happening. =)

Thank you! I'm so glad you find it mature for Cort to admit that he is not ready. I was afraid that readers would not think it believable, but I wanted to write it because I wanted to show that men have just as much of a choice in the matter as women do, and they can have apprehensions, too. Thank you so much!

I understand what you mean about showing the story from Cort's POV. I have done that in a later chapter. Thank you =)

Thank you! Being a TA is so freeing ♥ It is definitely a lot of pressure, though. Thank you!

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Review #23, by LovelyMioneWeasley Prologue: Over Coffee

14th January 2011:
Hello, LMW from the forums to review!

First off, I think you have a lovely banner and I find the whole three pairings intriguing; Teddy/Vic, Rose/OC, and Rose/Teddy so well done on all those.

I really enjoyed this prologue. I think you wrote enough to intrigue the reader but not give too much away. That is a hard balance to achieve and maintain; I hope the pacing and flow continues on as well through the story.

There was something very story tellinglike in the style; some authors will directly regard the audience but this story is like when you watch a movie and you see the actors look once or twice in the camera. It makes seem like they know you are there without really acknowledging it. Your writing is the same way, very subtle but almost acknowledging the reader. I think its clever.

I think that you do have an unbalanced amount of sharing, though. Rose and Cort seem to have more attention than Teddy and Victorie. If Teddy is such a reader, then why not give him a voice and part similiar to the lovemaking scene. His voice is very strong there and you could have expanded. I understand the prologue and I like the fact that you restrained how much you revealed about the characters but the unfair balance just didn't sit well with me.

On that note, I'll have to share my favorite line: 'She downed the rest of her coffee, which had become cold, and said, “Come home with me.”' I honestly thought they went home to have sex but the next meeting was with the parents so I'm not quite sure what happened. If they did spend the night together, my bad on assuming that it led to actually the parent's meeting. If you really did mean that Rose took him home to meet her parents, then I think its a rather brilliant and clever trick. Overall, well done on pacing, grammar, and syntax.


Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like the pairings - I hope you enjoy the way they work throughout the story. The banner IS beautiful, isn't it? Thanks goes to Lady Malfoy =)

I don't usually care for prologues, but I'm glad to hear that you thought I did a good job with this one. Thank you very much =)

It is honestly such a high compliment to be compared to movies. That has been my goal since the first day I started writing. Thank you so much!

I understand what you mean about the unbalanced amount of sharing, but please keep in mind that I have four distinct characters going through four very different states. If I went into the same amount of depth with each of them in every chapter, the chapter would be incredibly long and messy. I don't want to put too much into one chapter because I don't want to confuse the reader with whose storyline is whose. Thank you.

I had planned for that line to sound like they would go home to have sex, but really they just went home to meet Rose's parents. Thank you very much!

I appreciate your review =)

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Review #24, by Violet Gryfindor Our Only Daughter

9th January 2011:
It was worth the wait for this chapter because it has really made me stop and think about this story and about people and their relationships. Your characters are so realistic and it's almost scary to see how perfectly you've captured people as they are, fractured and unpredictable. It's amazing to see in any story.

The scenes with Teddy are incredibly touching - he really loves her no matter how she treats him and how he treats her, and seeing Teddy's inner conflicts was heart-wrenching because I wonder whether he is unnecessarily blaming himself for their near-failed relationship. Yes, he's made mistakes within it, but Victoire seems like a lot to handle, and she's placing too much emphasis on the wrong things, thus bringing their relationship to this painful point.

There! I'm thinking too much now that I've read this story. I should stop now, though I could talk about Rose as well because she's also very interesting in this. Being her age is difficult; she keeps looking up, toward being an adult and toward Teddy, but even he sees her as "a young girl". So what's going to happen next?

This story is coming along fantastically, and it was great to see that you had updated it!

Author's Response: Oh, Susan. You are too kind to me ♥

Thank you so much. I'll admit to waiting and hoping that you would read and review this chapter once I finally got it out. I was worried that because I hadn't updated in so long, you had forgotten about this story. Like I've already told you, I feel humbled and honored that you have picked this story to follow. I look forward to hearing what you thought of my chapters. I often think of you when I am writing the next chapter; I don't want to disappoint such a dedicated reader.

Anyway. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you like the way my characters are coming together. It's actually rather difficult creating four distinct characters with four unique stories to them... but I'm glad you like the way it's working. I really appreciate your comments =)

It warms my heart, actually, to see that you are reading into my story with such depth. It makes me feel like I am doing a good job as a writer. I'm also glad to see that you are reading into it exactly as I had hoped. You are seeing all the dynamics of Ted's relationship with Victoire that I didn't necessarily write. Thank you!

I hope you stick around to see the next chapter! I promise it won't be another four months. Thank you so much! ♥

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Review #25, by ochalke5 Our Only Daughter

5th January 2011:
It was a good a chapter. I cannot wait to see more of Teddy and Rose!


Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it and I hope you keep reading!

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