Reading Reviews for Marital Bliss
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by the_edge_of_love Ron&Hermione

17th January 2012:
Aw, this is so sweet! It's a great Hermione/Ron fic! I particularly like how he keeps mentioning he read Deathly Hallows before her- this is so Ron-like:D

Author's Response: Sorry I didn't get to this sooner, took a break from HPFF.
Thank you! I loved that little idea, that was the original idea for the story. It is very Ron like XD
Emma x


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Review #2, by LadyMalfoy23 Ron&Hermione

11th March 2011:
AW RON!! I love this i love this i love this! It is the BEST ron i have ever seen done in Fanfiction! (granted i usually read the jerk ron in dramiones) BUT THIS WAS AMAZING! The story behind it was so cute and so short and just to the point. I loved how silly they were and just the initial point behind the bookcase! it was so, aw! :) GREAT story!

Author's Response: I haven't read many Ron stories so I didn't have much to compare too but I don't see how Ron could be a jerk more than is normal misunderstanding things way.
Thank You so much! I ove this reivew made me smile.
Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #3, by LadyMalfoy23 Harry&Luna

11th March 2011:
hehe this is funny!! :) Its really adorable! I like how they had lily before they got married and that it mentioned why he and Ginny where no longer together. I think the part with the quibbler added in the luna factor that was needed! :) This was a great little story i loved it hun!!!

Author's Response: I was so worried about my Luna in this so I was trying to add as much Luna-esque things in as possible.

Thank You so much for the lovely review! :D

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #4, by LadyMalfoy23 Draco&Ginny

25th February 2011:
Aw, this is cute RR! :) I never really have been a fan of Ginny/Draco. and i still am not really :/ BUT aside from not liking the ship i thoroughly ENJOYED the story!! The mention of house elves being freed made me happy (LONG LIVE S.P.E.W). Seeing how you so shortly and so simply talked about how they loved eachother was a unique touch to it all! :D This is a great story, maybe a few more details to touch it up? hehe cant wait to find the time to read more!! ^_^

Author's Response: Hi!

Spew had to be added in. Hermione would have made it her first goal after the war haha.

I am going to edit this after I did TSC which is slowly happening after the numerous challenges I am doing. Planning too much!

Thank you for the review, made me smile. :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #5, by marinahill Harry&Luna

25th February 2011:
Awesome, obscure pairings! ♥ I think it's very easy for a reader to avoid a story just because of a pairing, but that doesn't mean a story can't be well written and interesting. This is clearly very well-written and I commend you for that. Harry is so hard to characterise and Luna is equally so. I think that you caught their personalities well here - Harry's loyalty and Luna's... Luna-ness. I'm sure you know what I mean, she's hard to pin down. Which makes this all the better, because you portrayed her as this carefree woman, which I think Luna always was, no matter what she faced.

Excellent work :)

Author's Response: Hi!
I only actually did this for a challange but I got the date confused and never got it in. Luna is really hard to write but thank you for saying I did it well.

I am really happy you said that. Made me smile like a mad women. :)

I do understand what you mean. :D

Thank you very much :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #6, by ericajen Ron&Hermione

25th February 2011:
Hey there! ericajen from the forums here(:

This was a cute little story! I think you wrote it well. I was actually expecting something dark and creepy to happen at first! I don't know why. I just thought Ron was hiding something a bit more disturbing, LOL. But I liked what he was doing! It was a nice gesture and I can see how it would mean a lot to the pair of them. It seems like a very Ron thing to do. I love when people write him showing off his more sensitive side.

Nice work!

Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you for the lovely review. :)
It never reall occured to me to make it something disturbing. haha.

I wanted to show that the war still gave them some good memories even if they were few and far between.

Thank you again for the lovely review :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #7, by Beaming Brilliant Harry&Luna

24th January 2011:
Hey love, it's DoubleBee
Luna seems very out of character. But to give you my honest opinion, I honestly don't think anyone but J.k. Rowling can master Luna, so that wasn't really a suprise. I'm really loving this story, and your discription and dialougue are great!! Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Hi! :)

Thank you for the lovely review. I agree, JK will be the only one ever able to master Luna. Thank you, this was my first ever Harry/Luna glad to hear you liked it.

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #8, by ZurriCaverly Ron&Hermione

12th January 2011:
I like the story, and i like how you didn't mix up tis pairing. although i've never really like ron/hermione, this makes me like them better. i agree with how you've portrayed them and i like the little argument that they get in, it's really cute.

Author's Response: I have never attempted to write them before but I like them as a pairing. I had this idea though and it wouldn't go away. The argument is very Hermione/Ron they always have them. :)

Thank you for the lovely reviews. :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #9, by ZurriCaverly Harry&Luna

12th January 2011:
once again, a great little story. like you said above, luna isn't very luna, but i think that after the war it is plausible for her to have changed, just like Harry and Ginny. I really like Lily, and I'm glad that you names her that, it always seemed to me that Harry would name his little girl Lily, I can't think of anything else that he would.

Author's Response: Hi. :)
Luna is very hard to characterise but war changes everyone.
I ador ethe name Lily and I completely agree with you that there is nothing else Harry would name his little girl.

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #10, by ZurriCaverly Draco&Ginny

12th January 2011:
good chapter. although i was never one for a draco/ginny pairing, i liked it. can't wait to read the next one.

Author's Response: Thank You for the review. I never was either until I read one story. I am glad you liked it. :)

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #11, by Grammar Freak Harry&Luna

11th December 2010:
One word: COMMAS! YOU NEED TO USE THEM!

Author's Response: Ok, I know. I accept your point.

However, next time a little nicer would be appreciated :).

Thanks for the review!

Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #12, by angeless7fallenstarsong Draco&Ginny

23rd November 2010:
So cuuute! :) I've never been a huge fan of Draco/Ginny but I like this.

Your descriptions of the house/day are lovely, but I want to read more of this! Maybe descriptions of Draco's or Ginny's appearances. I'm also kind of skeptical of Ron's acceptance. Maybe you could sort of branch off about that and tell us what made him accept the marriage?

Overall, great start. :)

Author's Response: Hi. :)
I wasn't either, until I read someone's storybut I cannot remember which one it was.

Hmm... Sounds like a plan. Although Ron's acceptance would be a 2 line sentence about Hermione making him realise how much of an idiot he was.

Thank you!
Ginny45 xxx


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Review #13, by colin creevey Harry&Luna

3rd October 2010:
Really liked this particularly in comparison to your other. It was a little more descriptive and began to paint a picture in my mind. It would be excellent if you continued to bulk up the descriptions and also try and get inside the characters heads. Hope you keep writing!!!

Author's Response: Hey, I really prefer this one as well. The whole picture is just lovely.
I am going through all my stories at the moment and I will keep writing.
:)
Ginny45/RandomRed xxx


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Review #14, by DeaVanity Draco&Ginny

25th July 2010:
Hello, I'm FINALLY here with your requested review :)

I'm so sorry I wasn't able to do this earlier but life suddenly got hectic though I've managed to work everything out ^^

Anyhow - the one-shot was full of cuteness. ;) The descriptive language you've used at the beginning was amazing, I could really get the whole picture in my head. I'd suggest that you maybe, if you wish and think it would be okay, add a bit of a more description on Draco and Ginny. Even though we, as readers, can imagine them due to the books and the movies, I think it would add something extra to the story :)

Oh, and I loved the part about house elves, I've always found that they make me go all warm and fuzzy inside, especially when I remember Dobby...

I've noticed a few spelling errors, though I'm sure if you read the story once again, you'll fix them :D

All in all - I liked it ;)

Author's Response: Hi sorry for the late response my computer is broken. This reply is being done on my phone so i am sorry for mistakes.
About the bit about adding more description in about Ginny and Draco. I am getting round to that i was planning doing it when i got back but like i said my computer broke. House elfs are the cutest! :-).
I will read through it and double check spellings thank you for the heads up.
Ginny45 xxx


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Review #15, by Jane_Volturi Draco&Ginny

25th July 2010:
Hi there hun, it's me again. I was just scrolling lazily around the archives and I came across this cute little one/shot of yours whilst searching for some Draco/Ginny material to entertain my incredibly overworked brain. It's very rare that I ever see this pairing in a story, I don't know why that is but it all seems to be about Draco/Hermione these days and Ginny hardly ever gets a chance in the spotlight.

This was a really cute One-Shot. In all honesty it was a real pleasure to read. It was short, light and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside because there was no angst or complex plotline hovering in the background. I also like the fact that there was no dialogue in this story - ooh, I love stories with no dialogue, it shows the writers ability to show rather than tell which is something that I think you handled really well.

The description that you used at the beggining was stunning may I add. I could picture it all in my head almost as if I was there, and it was just so pretty to imagine.

I also like the storyline - it's quite light and romantic; overall a real pleasure to read.

I honestly could find no fault with this story, it was a lovely One-Shot and it's definitley going into my favourites without a doubt.

I hope you do write the other One-Shots, they'd be great to read, especially the Harry and Luna one - I haven't seen many stories with that ship either.

Keep up the magnificent work.

10/10

Katie (JaneTwilight)

Author's Response: Hi! sorry for the late response and all the mistakes in this reply my computer is broken and i'm stuck doing this on my phone. I adore Ginny/Draco my second favorite ship after James/Lily. I'm glad someone else feels the same about all the Dramione stories.
I didn't actually set out to not use much dialouge it just didn't fit right in my mind.
I have finished the Harry/Luna one and started the James/Lily one.
I really wanted to use more description in the story and i'm glad people like it.
Yay got favorited :-D.
thank you so much for reviewing i greatly appreciate it. Ginny45 xxx


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Review #16, by schoenemaedchen Draco&Ginny

20th July 2010:
Hi there, schoenemaedchen here with a review from the boards!

So, I do think this is an unlikely couple that you've chosen! They fit very well for the challenge.

So you mentioned in your review you weren't sure if you should continue the idea as planned. Do you mean continue the story or the collection of stories? A collection of stories sharing a common theme is something I always find to be an excellent ideas! Very important, though, is to focus on each individual story one at a time before taking on this project. After all, writing individual stories is different than writing chapters for one novel, so a collection usually takes longer!

That being said, I wanted to talk with you about what you've started here in your one-shot. I think you've set up a great situation, but I think you're long from being finished. (Which was one of your concerns on the boards, that you hadn't spent enough time.)

I just want to say, writing a fanfiction isn't always about the quantity of hours you spend or how long your story is, but about the quality. Here you've started some great things, I want to point some stuff out, though, that will hopefully help assure that the great things continue and to help you fill out this story.

For me, it kind of felt like you just wrote the beginning of a story. You've set up a great situation, but now I want to know what happens! I want to know what makes Ginny and Draco worth writing about. We all know newlyweds spend a lot of time in each others company, but perhaps tell the reader about what special event they lived on that day. Maybe Ginny and the elves don't get along...I dunno (just giving a very poor example!), but you need some sort of situation that makes them unique! Maybe its a problem. Maybe its their honeymoon vacation. Some sort of exciting climax or high point of the story can come here too. Then you can work with how the characters deal with this situation.

Then of course you need some kind of conclusion, something that brings the whole story to an end. It can end many ways, but it looks here like you're going for fluff and romance so it's probably a happy ending.

When you add those two elements to your story, you'll really have a great structure going for you! Another thing I wanted to caution you about was also flow from paragraph.

It's really challenging, especially if you're relatively at the beginning of writing, but once you got it down, you can do about anything. Writing fanfiction while I was still in school and in college really improved my writing overall! This is why I must emphasize the flow.

I like your description at the beginning! It's a nice imagery of the Malfoy Mannor, first on the exterior of the building and the gardens, then to the inside where the house elves are making breakfast. This is great, but then you kind of move away from the descriptions and talk about the elves. I think it's great that you mention those details, but you have to ask if the details are really necessary to a story about Draco and Ginny.

The reason it seems a bit awkward, is because then it jumps directly into the next paragraphs from elf treatment to the betrothed couple. And all of a sudden, you speak of Draco's father. I would rather expect a description of their new marital bedroom, not a boring old dead Lucius...there's time to bring him in, but not where you've introduced the newlyweds. See what I mean?

I think all the details you've mentioned have a time and place, but they have to be brought in appropriately. So watch carefully for those jumps in details. They can really take away from the flow of your story.

Other details in your story can really be brought out. You briefly mention the wedding. That's something I imagine a newlywed daydreaming about, for example. Bring it out, talk about all the details, bring in beautiful description. It doesn't have to be too long. You can always bring out what brought Draco and Ginny together!

So, so many things to consider when writing a story, I know! In case its overwhelming, I would really recommend getting a Beta. They're a great support team. You do have some rather minor grammatical errors in your story, so a Beta could help you with that as well. I swear by my Beta, and I've been writing fiction for over 10 years now! I don't leave the house without one ;)

So. All things said, great beginning! Just bring out the development, watch the flow and you'll have such a great story going on here! Once you have this one under control, then you can move on to the next in your series :)!

-schoenemaedchen

Author's Response: Hi! I love long reviews :).
I am a major Ginny/Draco shipper so I had to do them. :)
I really tried to do my descriptions well as I usually write 1st person so it is harder to write descriptions into the story. So I really wanted to set it well.
The story was really short because I was just going for a snapshot of their life on the first day they got married but after I get back from holiday I am really going to work on it and I have one other chapter sitting in a notebook that I did ages ago. I like the Harry/Luna one that I have, I think I go into detail about them and get a story going.
The bit about Dracos father was to stop people going Lucius would never let them get married so I wrote he was dead and then used it too explain that it was one of the reasons differences were being patched up. Again so I had the war involved and I wasn't ignoring it.
I see what you mean about the paragraphs being all over the place and I'll be sure to add more steps when I get back.
I meant to continue with the collection. I thought was a good idea seeing how all the different backgrounds and couples spend the first day of their married life.
Yeah it is compleate fluff I wanted to see if I could do it as I have never tried it before.
The description of their bedroom is a good idea I never did it because I thought I would be throwing too much description down the readers throat.
I have a beta for one of my other stories I could get her to have a look at it if not I'll go to the forums. Grammar isn't my strong point at all.
Anyway I'll stop rambling but Thank you for the amazing review I hope it saved you from boredom yesterday. I will use all you very helpful points when I get back from holiday and I will probably ask you to review other chapters. LIke I said I love long reviews!
Ginny45
xxx


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Review #17, by lunas patronus Draco&Ginny

18th July 2010:
It was really good. I think you should go for the slightly less obvious couples next, cos who's harry going to end up with?

xxx
me :)

Author's Response: Hey thank you for the review :)
I was going to put Harry with Luna as I really like that ship but whatever I do there probably will be a Lily/James one :)
Again thanks :)
Ginny45


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