Reading Reviews for Bella Luna
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MajiKat Bella Luna

10th September 2011:
Hi Dee!

Here to review as requested!! Alright, first off, can I say that I enjoyed this a lot. It is dark, and it is creepy. I seriously cannot get the image of Bella and Voldie out of my head now O.O thanks for that, lol.

I always suspected she loved him, more than her husband, whom I imagine she loved also, but in a different way. I don't know if her love for Voldie would be romantic love but more obsession of the deepest and darkest sort, and i kind of feel that you have captured that here, particularly the last paragraph and the last few lines. she is completely owned by him and she is happy with that.

i like the way Voldie's emotions flared from one extreme to the other and i love the fact that he didn't say he loved her - that would have spoilt everything about this fic! he would never ever say that. love was the bane of his existence - it was the reason he ended up where he did. thank you for sticking to that canon aspect of his character.

okay, you wanted to know how you could improve on this style. I would suggest getting in touch with your inner poet and incorporating more poetic language into your writing. work at writing with the senses as well - i find touch and sound are great for this sort of writing, and taste as well, for instance, having an instance where a character can taste someone's fear, or other emotion. grammatically speaking this is okay - i didn't notice anything blindingly obvious - and your sentence structure is okay. i see you favour longer sentences, which is cool, but remember to change it up a little by throwing in some hard-hitting simple sentences because sometimes simple language can be more effective than a staggering vocabulary, when used right.

um the only other thing i can say is keep at it and continue experimenting with this style.

thank you for requesting - i enjoyed this little piece a lot.
Kate xx

Author's Response: First of all, thanks so much for taking the time to read and review this piece! It means a lot to me!
Eeeks, sorry about that gross Bella/Voldie image, Kate! I wanted to try an obscure ship because everything I write is always so mainstream but I guess I went a little too out of the norm. Heh.
And that's exactly what I wanted to get across. She is indeed so devoted and captivated by him that she cannot distinguish this obsession from love. She's amazed by him so she sort of deludes herself into thinking she loves him.
Oh, thank you! The books show Voldemort as a very tempermental character, so I wanted to make sure I kept with that. And yes, exactly, we can't have him loving Bella, can we? He's basically just using her and she's completely fine with it.
Oooh, I'm not so sure my inner poet exists, haha. I think I'll have to dig a tad more for it. I'll definitely try with the different senses. In fact, I wrote a one-shot yesterday and that's exactly what I looked to add! That's also another great point - I'll be sure to vary my sentences more.
I definitely will do! I love writing Bella because she's such a complex and intense character, so I do want to work more with her, where I can put all these amazing tips you gave me to good use ^_^
Honestly, the fact that you enjoyed this made my day! I look up to you so much as a writer, Kate, thank you for the amazingly kind and useful review!


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Review #2, by The Paragon Bella Luna

4th September 2011:
That was beautiful. Bellatrix is one of my favourite characters and I absolutely loved this. It was all so smooth and believable. Very well-written indeed! Can't wait to read more of your work. Keep up the great job! 10/10

Author's Response: Oh my, thank you so much! She's one of my favorites as well because I truly believe there's more to her than an evil, heartless killer. I think I might do a couple more one-shots on her, actually. I'm so glad it was believable! Thank you so much, will do! (:

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Review #3, by CK Bella Luna

6th December 2010:
I loved it!Great job!

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #4, by nox Bella Luna

21st November 2010:
it gives me the chills but 10/10

Author's Response: thanks so much!

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