So sweet and funny! I have never read this pairing before, but it's great! :-)Author's Response: Thank you so much. ^_^ --Jenna Report Review
I loved it. You write well 9/10 : )Author's Response: Thank you! ^_^ --Jenna Report Review
This is a truly lovely story. I've never thought about the pairing before, and I think that as my first experience of this pairing, you did it justice! I think that the characterisation seemed realistic, and I also think that the dialogue was great! So natural.
No grammar or spelling issues, as usual... Just a very good piece of slash, which is thoroughly enjoyable and interesting!Author's Response: Aww thank you so much! ^.^ This was my first go at the pairing also. Since I've turned into a Teddy/Vic shipper. Lol. :) --Jenna Report Review
OMG OMG OMG! :D So incredibly cute, I love it! :D 10/10 and favourited. Wooo :DAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it and thanks for the fave!! --Jenna Report Review
JENNA! This is beautiful! I love the writing, the characters, all of it! I never would have even considered Teddy and Louis together. You see him with Fleur and Dominique but never Louis so the pairing is so intriguing. This is the first story of yours that I've read and I'm off to read more of them because I love this one so much. :)
Author's Response: Aww, thank you. Yeah, I've not seen too many Teddy/Louis stories, though there are a few around. :D It's a cute idea if you can pull past the Teddy/Vic in the Epilogue and write it away without seeming forced. I've actually stopped with this pair though. Lol. I got to reading a Teddy/Vic that has me shipping them pretty good. :D And of course, I love Louis with the male OC that he fits with.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! :D --Jenna Report Review
Awww its so sweet! Good use of the quote by the way, it blended into the story really well and was really good with your story-telling.
I love the Louis/Teddy pairing. I've never really thought of it but I like the way you put it here.
It was sweet but powerful too, well done
~IzzyAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. :D I'm glad that you enjoyed this. I've seen a few versions of the Louis/Teddy, so I thought it would be fun to have a go at one of my own. Thanks for reviewing! --Jenna Report Review
You know, I never really thought that a slash pairing could be so beautifully written! :D
Wonderful job, really :DAuthor's Response: Aww, thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :D --Jenna Report Review
Man, I just love all of your fics!
This one is SO cute! This pairing is really unique, and I like how the characters come straight off saying that they're gay. Good job! :):)Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I happen to love the idea of Teddy/Louis, but I never see many fics with them, so it was fun to try one myself. Thank you for reviewing!! --Jenna Report Review
Once again, you have a hit on your hands. I truly enjoyed the dramatic dynamic between Teddy and Louis. Though I'm sure it's a one-shot, I'm hoping there's a future! I'd love to see another couple batches of endless flirting among these two.
You made great use of the Gilmore Girls quote. May I ask you find another one to continue this love-story?
Cheers, MischiefMitchedAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so much for that. :D I've actually considered making a sequel/prequel/companion to this. I just haven't decided how to do it yet. You're words are too kind. You definitely brightened my night! Thank you. :D --Jenna Report Review
I love this!
This is amazing. Its going under favorites.Author's Response: Awww, thank you so much! I'm glad that you enjoyed it and I appreciate your taking time to review. :D --Jenna Report Review
That was really cute. It was well-detailed and an interesting couple. I thoroughly enjoyed it! Thanks for the ten minutes of enjoyment I had reading your detailed descriptions and the very good use of a Gilmore Girls quote:D I loved everything about your characters, your settings, absolutely everything! Most definitley becoming a favouritre :DAuthor's Response: Awww, thank you so much. :D I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I get a lot of people saying that the description was over done, so I'm glad at least a few people are liking that part. *searching for a right balance*
Again, thank you for reading and leaving a review. :D --Jenna Report Review
Hey it is RandomRed here. Sorry for the late review my computer broke.
So on with the review.
This is only the second story I have ever read with Louis as a main character. Not many people think to use him.
Anyway. I like your version of slash. I think there is two different ways of doing it in your face and subtle I prefer the subtle which you have done here. In your face can be hilarious when done properly though.
I think it is a nice one shot it doesn't feel like a story it is like a small part of his life which works so well.
Your description is amazingly detailed but maybe too much at once.
I just like the ease the characters have together. Really nice.
Ginny45/RandomRed xxxAuthor's Response: That's okay, not a problem :D Thank you for coming by and I hope everything is okay with your computer.
I have to say, I do write both versions of Slash, but Louis never felt like an in your face type. LOL Thank you so much for that. :D I completely get what you mean by 'too much at once'. I'm working on that habit with my next stuff. Thank you again. --Jenna Report Review
it was good!! i'm not much of a slash person but i enjoyed it :) thank you for leaving out a kiss, that would have completely turned me off it
but overall i loved it :)Author's Response: If you don't like slash, why did you choose a slash story?
I'm glad you liked it, but you should probably be careful more, seeing as most stories do contain kissing. --Jenna Report Review
wow. i don't read slash often but i'm starting to think maybe i should take a look at it more. i truly enjoyed this. it was an interesting concept, an unexpected way of getting the two of them together but i don't think it could have worked better any other way. i loved the line you used from Gilmore Girls. it just fit incredibly well with this story and i loved it.
this was very believable in my opinion. like i said, i don't read slash often so i'm no expert but i think you created an atmosphere with this story where you could go a number of directions, some that would be more effective than others, and the way you went was probably the most effective of them all. the dialogue between the characters was playful and humorous, also believable in a situation such as the one they were in. i don't have any complaints at all with how i perceived this one-shot.
your characterization was probably my favorite aspect of all in this story. i'm not sure why. to be honest, there didn't appear to be anything exactly special about it but i think the interaction between the two characters is what ultimately makes me so pleased. Teddy was charming and original, as was Louis. and their interaction! i know i just commented a little on it but i honestly loved the way everything developed! great job.
overall, i thought this was an amazing one-shot that lived up to anything and everything it was supposed to and more. i really should take a look at slash more often! haha. i hope you did wonderful in this challenge. also, feel free to request again any time on my review thread. i would love to hear some more from you. i hope you have a fantastic day! keep on with the amazing writing! (:Author's Response: I almost can't respond to that, it was just so nice. Thank you so much for the time and the kind words. You left a huge smile on my face, what a way to head off the night! I can't say more, just thank you very very much!! --Jenna Report Review
That was better than many slash fics for two reasons: a) it wasn't focused entirely on physical attraction, and b) the characters were blatantly in your face gay. I could barely tell what Teddy's preferences were, when he started talking about dating Victoire. That was was a good thing. It was more realistic, more enjoyable, more unique.
My one big piece of advice is this: You don't need to describe every single itsy bitsy little detail. The first five or six paragraphs were huge chunks of description, leaving nothing to the imagination, during which my mind began to seriously wander. One of the great parts of reading is imagining some details for yourself. And if I'm being honest, I almost immediately forgot what the two men were wearing anyway. Toning those parts down a bit would help you gain many readers, I'm sure.
On the other hand, once I got past the beginning, it was a very pleasant read. It flowed nicely, the conversation was natural, the two characters' personalities shone out. And, your less-detailed description was great, such as when you talked about the werewolf picture.
Characterization of Teddy, and pretty much all the Next Gen characters, is hard to mess up. The one thing that's arguably hard to do is make Teddy gay, since we saw him kissing Victoire, and you even worked out that bit nicely by having him mention it. You had a lot of free reign and you used it nicely.
Besides the blocks of description, it was a nice read, and, to me, a well written slash story as well. Nice job.
~lllbAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I really wanted to make it more of a slow realization. I get a lot of grief about my gay guys being too girly, so that was a really big compliment to me. :D I also strive for canon-twisting, so I didn't want to ignore that Teddy and Vic were together in the Epilogue. The physical stuff, that is usually my better area, and oddly enough, it was written for this one. I wrote about 3 extra paragraphs with a kiss and a little more, but then reading it back, it just didn't feel right, so it landed on the cutting room floor. Thank you for assuring me that I made a wise choice there. :D
Yeah, the desription is getting a lot of that. LOL. 6 months ago, I couldn't describe anything, now I over do it. Call it compensation. I'm really trying to learn how to weave the description into the action a little better (now that I know I need to thanks to wonderfully helpful reviewers such as yourself).
Well, I went with Bisexual. That's the beauty of a Bi character, No matter what is written in Canon, you can add to it. :D Thank you so much for your time and your review. I really appreciate it. --Jenna Report Review
Hiya there :) Here with your review from the boards.
So you mentioned in your post on the boards that I should cover believability, characterization and things just in general.
So I see you've also written it around a Gilmore Girl's quote (Love that show) and you've really weaved it into the story well. Even Louis damsel bit was almost a bit Lorelai Gilmore ;)
SO, as for characterization, I think this is something that is always hard to comment on for Next-Gen stories. We know so entirely little about their "canon-like" characterization, simply because we've only seen them in the epilogue, more or less. I did like HOW you portrayed their characters though. I enjoyed the "starving artist" Louis and the hair-changing emotions of Louis, who is also a bit more on the sensitive side.
It was well written, so as far as believability goes, there wasn't really anything that stuck out so much where I went "well that doesn't fit" or anything. :)
I don't read so much slash, though I don't mind it, but for Fluff, Drama, and Romance, you've really hit the head on the nail. I thought the scene was sent nicely and that the dialogue helped develop the characters movements wonderfully.
One thing that I thought disturbed your flow just a LITTLE bit, was the descriptions at the beginning. I liked a lot of your descriptions, so I don't want you to understand me wrong, but I thought some of them were just a bit too much and, for me, slowed my reading down somewhat.
I'm not saying go in and delete stuff, I'm suggesting maybe condensing some of the descriptions somewhat. Something that popped out of me was the mention of the jacket that was draped over Teddy's arm. About three paragraphs later, you have Louis taking the jacket. At first...I thought...where did the jacket come from? It was there all along, but there was just such a large space between mentions, it threw off the flow (at least for me).
I really enjoyed the descriptions, they were beautiful and had a lot of detail. I think you could speed up the flow, though, if you integrated some dialogue to give it a rest in some spots. Once you got into the dialogue portion of your piece, for me, the flow sped up immediately and there you had such a great balance of description and dialogue.
Otherwise, great job. I know you mentioned this was only your second attempt at writing Next-Gen, but you could have fooled me :-P Thanks for visiting my review thread, hope I could give you the feedback you were looking for.
-schoenemaedchen :DAuthor's Response: I've been getting that a lot, with the descriptions. So, I'll definitely be working on that for my future endevors, weaving the description and action together more, rather than set apart. I get what you mean about the jacket as well. Reading it back, I see how far they were. Your review certainly helped out. :D Thank you so much for taking the time to leave it. --Jenna Report Review
I thought that was awesome, I liked the beginning especially with the description. I liked he dialogue yet I thought it may have been directed on the kiss a bit too much. Other than that I thought it was good! BTW sorry it's a bit short but that's all I could find wrong with it!
LpF123 xxAuthor's Response: Thank you for reviewing. :D
I think I get what you mean about it being directed towards the kiss. I'll consider that when I give these two another go. Short is fine.
Thank you so much. --Jenna Report Review
Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! What a wonderful piece! This is the most lovely, most delicious, most heart warming fluffy slashy short I've read in ages! I came here all geared up for some acerbic and helpful review and all I've got to say it: wow!
But seriously, gushing aside. This was really well written and I'm very much impressed with the amazing amount of characterization you achieved in such a short amount of writing. Details like the tea -- Louis likes honey, Teddy likes sugar -- and the bits about Teddy's changing hair color were really delicate and unobstructed means of creating great presence on the page.
I also love the romance element. I like that Louis is flirty and witty (a lot like Lorelai!) and his silly confidence in that romance in juxtaposition to him downgrading his artistic talent is very engaging. I forgot I was reviewing and ended up just reading for pleasure.
Thank you for coming by my thread. I loved this piece. Feel free to come back again (especially if you've got more slash!). 10/10
BBAuthor's Response: Well, you certainly made my day! Thank you so much. It means a lot that you found their characters to be done well, especially in such a limited amount of "time". Thank you so much for taking your time to review. I will drop back by, I have lots of slash, the rest is all angsty though. I was considering taking these two on a few more one shots, just wasn't sure if they were going to be well accepted, now I do have a bit more confidence in their respect, so I will come back when I get another go at them. :D --Jenna Report Review
Oh, love it love it love it! I've never read a slash fic that I really liked [nor one that didn't make me slightly ill with its bad grammar and spelling] but here's one I love, and one with /excellent/ spelling and grammar.
I love the direction in which you took the quote. It's not conventional, and I appreciate your originality and creativity. The dialogue was realistic and believable, as was the entire situation. I also really like how Teddy still can't always control his powers, and how his hair color changes with his emotions. I didn't find one single spelling, grammar, or punctuation error, either.
You did my challenge proud. Bravo. :)Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Grammar is like my biggest pet peeve, so I'm glad that you didn't find any wrong. :D
I'm glad tat you liked their characterization. With the emotion/change thing, can't really take credit for that. I figure since it happened to Tonks, it would happen to him.
Thank you so much for making a great challenge. I'm really glad that I went for it. :D --Jenna Report Review
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