This one is beautiful Alex, really creative! You took a completely different angle and I absolutely love itAuthor's Response: Thanks Case. It's really my most favorite thing I've written. Glad you like it :D Report Review
You have truly done this quote justice (and that's saying a lot as it was a doozy of a weird quote).
I suppose this story is open to interpretation, but I took it sort of as what happens when a witch has an imaginary friend. You conveyed a nice childlike dreaminess both in the setting and in Lily's spirit, even as she grows. You also really showed how much of a comfort this place was to Lily. The end was sad and beautiful all at the same time. In short, you packed quite a lot into 1000 words. You weren't overly descriptive, but gave just enough to create some good sharp images of the changing meadow.
I guess my one little note would be that there are one or two sentences that deviate from present tense. "'Marley?' she called once more" would be one of them. The piece is good enough though that it was easy to overlook them though. :)
I really enjoyed reading this. Great job. :)Author's Response: Yay! Thanks! It was a great quote that really inspired me (obviously). Thanks for this great challenge!
And that's the one thing I was worried about, straying from the present tense but everytime I read it, I apparently missed some! I'm happy you liked it anyway.
On another note, I know you're reviewing this for the challenge, but ever since I saw that it was on hold until today I was excited because it meant reviews on my birthday! :P
~alex Report Review
Hi there! Schoenemaedchen here with your review.
So first things first, a major kudos to you for writing a story like this, I don't think I could do it! You took this great line (what a line from that challenge...wow) and created this beautiful story full of imagery.
I love how her dreamland developed with her and how it was full of foreshadowing. The symbolism and description *sigh* just wonderful!
I think we all have our "dream land" where we reach for comfort in some way shape or form and I just love the dream land you've created for Lily.
The last part where the valley is wilting gave me GOOSEBUMPS! And then I read...this story gave me tingles in the last bit. Rightfully so! I think the actual eminent death of Lily and James is a powerful moment in fanfiction and you've captured it beautifully and poetically here...especially how she continues to show her love for Harry and wishes that he is protected. Such a HUGE theme in the books!
-schoenemaedchenAuthor's Response: Thanks for the wonderfully awesome review!! I am extremely happy you liked it so much. I don't think I could have picked a better quote for this challenge if I tried, it really got me thinking about dreams and all the things that can happen in them, especially for a witch or wizard. I like to think Lily's dreamland was a piece of magic and that she could share Marley with Harry so he could have the sort of safety she felt when she was in her dreams. I was surprised how much the ending affected me, being the one who wrote it. It feels good knowing I'm not the only one :P
Thanks again for the great review!
This is such an interesting idea. So Marley in Lily's dreamland represented the people from her future? Such a beautiful idea. Do you think Lily knew that James had a Stag animagus form?
I loved all the symbolism too, especially of the sapling representing Harry.
I can really see this being something that happens. It seems as though Lily relyed on this magical dream land when her own life wasn't magical enough, but duing the years at Hogwarts she had plenty of magic so she didn't need her dreamland... she was already in it.
I certainly did get tingles as I read that last part. It's beautiful. Bravo :)
Lorren.Author's Response: Thanks! Yes and I figure if Marely wanted to then from her past as well, but in the story Marley appears as James, an older version of herself, and Harry. Thanks! And I feel like she might have found out once they started dating, because I don't think she would have accepted anything less than the truth about where the four of them disappeared to every month.
Now that you mention it, I agree totally. She definitely would visit a few times throughout her Hogwarts career, especially mostly during breaks when she wasn't allowed to do magic outside of school.
Thanks again. This is seriously my favorite story of mine, so I'm happy others like it too.
~alex Report Review
That was very sweet and in the end sad too. I liked how you made everything a bit mysterious with the whole dreamland concept and I wasn't even sure at times if she went to a real meadow to dream up the rest or if she dreamt up the meadow too. Now I think she dreamt everything up. This is just a pet peeve of mine, but what bothered me here was your use of the name Lily-flower. That's mainly because it's mostly used in certain kinds of stories, usually marauder stories with a mix of humour, drama and romance, I think. But, yeah, that's probably my problem that I find it cheesy and I should just get over it. :P But I liked the dreamyness of your story and how it worked well at different times of your life. There was some symbolism too in the meadow I think: the flowers dieing in the end of course and was the sapling symbolising Harry? I loved the last sentense, with "where the shoes meet the footprints".Author's Response: First let me say that I am very excited that you reviewed this story!
The meadow was definitely her dream. I understand where you're coming from for her nickname, and the first time it's used, the voice that Marley speaks in is supposed to be James' so to me that made it ok. Then I decided that Marley would get attached to calling her that and that would be the way Marley would refer to her and so when James might use it in real life before they were together she could be angry about it, especially if she hadn't seen Marley in her dreams in a while. And you're right about the symbolism, the dying flowers are because it's the night before You-Know-Who comes and she herself won't be alive much longer and yes the sapling tree was baby Harry. The last sentence was actually the quote I had to use for this challenge, I just changed the name that was there to Lily, but it was the reason that I mentioned the fact that Lily's feet never touched the ground but left footprints in the grass nonetheless.
~alex Report Review
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