It was definitely cute enough for me :) I love a nice Lily/James like this that's devoid of the usual drama and spastic arguing you often find in such stories...that all has its place of course, but it's nice to have a break once in a while with something cute like this.
Anyways, I kind of adore James in this story. Thank you for giving that pompous attitude of his a rest - seeing the inside of James instead of the cocky exterior was nice for a change.
Great story, I loved it :)
~AlexAuthor's Response: Oh good! I think school-aged Lily/James should be cute, let them be serious later no?
I loveee fanon Lily/James rage. With this was kind of trying to write it more how I actually see it being, so I do hope it worked!
Definitely two sides to James. Wrote this as the tipping point for him personally, the moment when he realised it might actually be worth growing up a bit :P
Thank you so much lovely! Report Review
I'm glad it wasn't pure James and Lily fluff. Sometimes that's overbearing. (It's my favorite ship, too.)
I thought this was outright, flat-out sweet. It was...original. (Or as original as we'll ever get down here.) I thought it was funny and refreshing.
Bravo to you.Author's Response: I love pure L/J fluff. You're right though, I think the trick is to make things sweet without getting completely over the top?
-hides- You're really far too kind. Especially about the original bit, even though I did try! Thanks so much for reviewing, just lovely and reaffirming to get. Report Review
I swear, it really does give you that melting feeling. The chapter name ("Smile") went well with it, because I think anybody who read this and didn't smile would be crazy.
I love the simplicity you gave this - most L/J fics are over-dramatised, with James leaping upwards and declaring his love for Lily, Lily refusing point-blank to accept his love, but, with the help of Remus, Sirius, and her band of crazy girlfriends(insert eye roll here), she manages realise she is, really in love with James Potter, and has always been.
Your take was just so much more refreshing.
And that's what this story really was - simple, beautiful, refreshing, realistic. The dialogue between the marauders was classic, and the 'Hi'...as I've said, made me utterly melt.
I've always been a huge Remus, Lily, Sirius and James fan - I mean, how awesome is Lily? She's amazingly smart, pretty, vivacious, AND she won the ever-amazing James' heart? And Remus and Sirius? How could you NOT love them? They both go through a lot - Remus and his Furry Little Problem, Sirius with his family - yet they still manage to have a sense of humour and be great friends.
So I'm going to applaud you for writing some of my favourite fictional characters absolutely perfectly.
Well, seeing as we don't know too much about them, I suppose perfectly in a sense that I could imagine something like this happening in the book. Especially the way you described Lily.
~ LTAuthor's Response: Naww thank you! L/J should be all about the melting, especially Hogwarts-based stories.
Hmm I agree with you to a point. For the most part L/J fics are exactly like that, and they're really badly executed. At the same time my all time most favouritest L/J - Obsessive Lily Disorder - is exactly like that. I guess good writing is good writing, no matter what? Oh I don't know.
The Marauders + Lily - Peter = THE BEST EVER. Peter annoys me actually, having to write him and make him likeable is really quite hard. He's more than made up for by Lily though who is just the best character in the entire series. Fact.
Wow thank you! That's seriously just like mega amounts of compliment right there. Everyone has such a strong idea about how the Marauders should be, to do it justice is all kinds of hard. As for Lily, well I just love her. Don't think I'll ever be able to write her exactly how I imagine her, can always keep trying though!
Thanks again! Report Review
Aw, this one-shot was beyond cute.
I loved how James showed his soft spot for Lily. And I just loved how he waited for hours just to say 'Hi.' Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. :)
Haha, I loved this part, by the way:
she stomps all over your little stag heart.
I don't know, I just really liked 'little stag heart', haha. The flow was smooth and it definitely kept me attention till the end. And it was great that Lily turned back! :D
Keep writing! :DAuthor's Response: This one-shot was definitely something a bit different for me. Normally my stuff is sort of all high drama, flouncing everywhere. Did try and pull it back towards something a bit more cute and normal, really glad it worked!
What I like about that line is the way it works two ways. First it's the whole super clever Animagus reference, second it's that whole idea of stag = freedom/pride/whatever. The more she shuts him down, the more he falls in love with her. I don't know, I'll shut up now :P
Of course she turned back! Lily/James has to be happy, otherwise it's just way, way too sad.
Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
sweet, and not over dramatic.
just right :)Author's Response: I like to think so :P
Glad you liked it and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
-melts into puddle of L/J squishy fluffy loveyness-
As always, Jack, I love your wry style, the effortless way you write dialogue and banter, and your engaging tone. Love the title, too - it's so YOU.
And I like how it was just a little moment at the end - just a little something to leave you thinking. That totally could have been The Moment, you know? I think "Hi" is almost more believable than any of the bazillion cliches floating around out there.
Anyway...loved it. :-)Author's Response: NAWW
It actually worked out alright didn't it? Was honestly really quite shocked. Definitely not effortless, pretty happy it comes off like that though :P
I actually didn't write it as The Moment, was more meant to be the beginning of things. Although it actually works much better that way :P I never really thought it would be some huge massive thing that convinced her, more a gradual progression where she suddenly realised she actually liked him. Does that make sense?
Thank you SO much, really is amazing to hear that from you! XD Report Review
I love this one-shot. So cute! You're great at Lily/James!Author's Response: Thank you! Really glad you like it, even if you are a complete liar :P I'm definitely not great at Lily/James, I do think I'm getting better though. Thanks for the review! Report Review
You should definitely not keep such a distance from James/Lily because you are BRILLIANT at writing them. Brilliant enough to warrant capslock (which is pretty brilliant, let me tell you). The interactions between the marauders are sublime and just how I would imagine them to relate to eachother. And I think it's great that the end of this story didn't result in some cataclysmic snog session or profession of undying love; I'm much more interested in little (realistic) moments like these, to be honest :) I'm always hunting for good J/L fic, and it's such a pleasure to stumble upon gems like this story.Author's Response: Lily/James scares me! Seriously, I have such a perfect idea of them in my head that I'm always afraid I won't actually be able to write it properly. It's hard to say no after a review like this though!
The good bit about actually being a teenage boy is it gives you quite a good idea as to how they actually talk and act and think. Glad it's coming across properly though!
I kind of wish I could write some cataclysmic snog session to be honest :P Problem is I'd start laughing at myself halfway through and the whole thing would rather fall apart.
There definitely does need to be some more L/J realism around, you're right. Seriously though, L/J resurgence is happening! You have a look, it's starting to pop up again and there are some BRILLIANT things being written.
Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
Nice dialogue between the boys.Author's Response: Always fun to write the boys, can't really go wrong with them! Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
ar what a lovely little story :DAuthor's Response: Aww thank you! I'm so glad you liked it xD Report Review
OMG, CUTEST EVER.
I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it.
I love it.
Cutest ending ever, James was the cutest boy ever and I WANT ONE, Lily was cute too, BUT OVERALL, CUTECUTECUTE. And, you know, well-written and all the rest.
“Tell him, Moony. Tell him it’s a bad idea.”
For some reason, this struck me as something very Sirius-like to say. I actually laughed out loud when I read it because I could totally see it happening in my head - Sirius rubbing his eyes, looking all resigned and adorable :)
Brilliant work, my love!Author's Response: Oh shuddup you!
I mean, while that is pretty much completely the reaction I want, obviously have to ignore you. I think it's his whole determined thing. I reckon once he sort of grew up and got past his whole harassing Lily to get her attention phase, he would have been much more attractive to Lily. There's a line about that sort of thing in High Fidelity that rather applies, I'll tell you some other time :P
Oh good! I really do quite feel for the other boys, imagine dealing with James' love for Lily for all those years. Would drive you insaneee. So that's where that little scene came from anyway :)
Thank you so much lovely, I'm glad you enjoyed! Report Review
Loved it. Need I say more? James is great. A real hero, indeed. And Lily's amazing as ever. I think this is a start to a beautiful relationship for the two. :)
And Sirius and Remus were just hysterical. As was James.
Not much more I can say, really. Everything you right is sheer brilliance. You made James and Lily the cutest thing in the world whilst not even really having much interaction between them...at all.
You're a bloody genius. Simple as that.
Loved it.Author's Response: Oh, well that would have been a pretty accurate summary! Concise to say the least. I kind of like this way better though. Spot on, this is meant to be the start, of James actually growing up anyway.
Good comic relief those two, very easy to write as well, snark and frustration always fun.
-hides- That's all I have to say about THAT! Lily and James ARE the cutest thing in the world, all I to really do is put them out there.
Shall have to continue to ignore your delusions I fear, else ego would just EXPLODE!
Thanks so much for the review, much appreciated! Report Review
I'm not actually here because of a priority list reshuffle. I am here because it is the only thing on said priority list that I actually have the slightest bit of interest in reading (sorry to any lurking TGSers who are on said list).
Honestly, the beginning made me think 'okay, where's this going? It looks short but there's a whole lot of build up' but then the end made me say 'awww' but with more 'w's' than the review box will let me use and it was sooo cuuuteee that I want to squish it into a big puddle of drinkable L/J adorableness.
Earl Gray is the only way for any real Englishman to wake up.
This line amused me solely for the irony of the American spelling of Grey (which, as it's a proper noun, is actually just a misspelling)
Actually, who am I kidding? That's the only reason I've actually reviewed because I'm too lazy today to be all overly squeey and stuff but I couldn't let that slide, as pathetic as it makes me sound. I'm in one of those moods where I'm even annoying myself.
Oh gosh, the rambleee. Anyway, was lovely and whilst this is not pure L/J fluff amazingness of Obsessive Lily Disorder Author Whose Name Escapes Me standard, and nor was it the Jack amazingness of the MM world, it was still worthy of a little bit of a happy girly clap and grin and the aforementioned squeal of 'awww' that the ending forced from me.
OH and James = growing up. Was lovely and believable and adorable and so on. But this is bordering on silly squee and I'm meant to be in a strop today so I'm going to stop.
Cuteness ^_^Author's Response: Hahaha you are snarky tonight. Would definitely have put the 'are' in italics, but it seems I'm not allowed to do that -sulks-
Truee there was lots and lots of build up but that's kind of the point? Like, it's a tiny little thing to do, but there's all the build up and nervousness and etc. Well, that's what it was meant to be anyway.
Gahh did I spell it with an 'a'? Well that's just horribly embarrassing. Clearly will have to be fixed in an edit, although does rather add another layer of irony as pointed out.
I don't think I could write pure fluff actually, this is about as close as I can get! And well, the amazingness of those two worlds is pretty much untouchable so would be rather shocked if I even got close to that. A clap and a smile and an awww is just about the perfect reaction really!
Yes yes yes to James growing up! That's pretty much the entire point about this, him finally starting to pull himself together. What was it that made Lily start warming to him and all that.
Oh come on, you had a couple of decent stroppy moments! Thanks for reviewing lovely ^^ Report Review
Would like to quote my favorite parts, but as usual, might end up pasting the entire thing in this tiny box. :P
Shall resort to squeeing about my favorite moments, then.
- Coffee vs. tea = EPIC
- Your Sirius and Remus = LOVE
- That one little Hi = me melting
- Your Lily = GORGEOUS
So there. Good job, and I hope you write more L/J!
P.S. Clearly I'm not stalking you.Author's Response: Ooh we couldn't have that, my ego would just get TOO large. Could be rather undignified :P
Word -manly fist bump-
OMG SHE'S SO AMAZING I LOVE HER
I'm with you all the way! I probably will actually, more stuff like this actually!
Oh clearly not, and I clearly wouldn't care even if you were xD Report Review
This is so squishly-fluffy-cute, just what an L/J should be, and used to be in the dark ages of Potterverse fiction. :P I can tell that it's your favourite ship because you make it so convincing that it's a perfect ship. I so don't believe that you've never been good at writing it before!
James is adorable. Big-headed, but adorable. No wonder Lily can't resist (I probably couldn't either).
You've done it again, Jack! What's your secret? ;)Author's Response: Exactly! Why would would anyone want to make L/J all dark and twisty when you know how things end for them? I mean, can understand that after Hogwarts, but at least let them have some fun while they're there! :P
I've honestly never been ever, trying too hard to make them perfect maybe
I think James has to be adorable! Pretty much exactly what you said really.
Oh I just copy everyone else xD Thank you so much Susan, it really does mean a lot. Report Review
This was wonderful the first time around, but even more enjoyable the second! So glad that you wrote/posted this. :D :D
I love your James. Really, I just love the piece. It's cute and all, but not overly flufftastic. It's just the right amount of fluff, really. So yeah. I loved it. And this review is making very little sense, I imagine. Haha.
ANYWAY. LOVED IT. Superb! :DAuthor's Response: Molly!
Well once it was written, seemed like a bit of a waste not to:P Oh, and thank you ^^
-sigh of relief- As long as you liked James, I can't be going too far wrong! Sense shmense! I completely get what you're saying xD
WELL NOW YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO POST LIKE IMMEDIATELY DON'T YOU? L/J revolution is totally starting. Report Review
It was BEYOND cute! Molly should bully you more often because this was absolutely adorable and without any of your trademark Insane!Girl as well!
Basically had me at the title, and the tea/coffee bicker made it for me, as did 'your little stag heart'! I also liked how the boys were verty much boys and distinctively themselves despite only having a few lines each. Short, but very sweet. You should write MORE -threatening face-Author's Response: Oh please, am not listening to your insanity. Seriously though, having no insane!Girl felt v.v. strange. Actually felt quite restrained and author-ly.
Can't go wrong with tea/coffee dramas, am firmly on the coffee side of things myself. That was actually properly something I tried to get across. Quite hard trying to isolate their personalities while all keeping them definitely masculine. We shall see about more, thank you so much for the review lovely! Report Review
JACK. The sheer genius of this title pulled me in, and then the fact that YOU had written it made it an all-together delightful read.
Well, yes, that's really all I have to say. It was lovely, my dear. And I loved this line especially: "your little stag heart." Haha. Anyway, wonderful job.
Author's Response: RIN. Ahh just one of those lovely flukes of fate, there's no other way I could come up with a reasonable title.
Well that's all I really need to hear! You're just far, far too kind. Lily and James don't really behave themselves when I'm writing, so really just thrilled you liked it!
Thanks for reviewing lovely. Report Review
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