54 Reviews Found

Review #1, by harrypotterfan12345 Bad Idea

12th August 2011:
please keep writing! it would make me sad to see this story not continue :(

Author's Response: I will! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I'm planning on updating in October-ish once my RL stuff is all settled :)

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Review #2, by harrypotterfan12345 What?!

10th April 2011:
I loved this chapter :) thanks for updating i feel like a lot of writers are abandoning their stories. Anyways, I'm glad that Amelia is getting back at Sirius, he definitely deserved it. And don't worry I'll be here until the end of the story I can already tell :)

Author's Response: Yay! This review seriously just made my day! I'm smiling to big right now haha. You make me siriusly happy ;) I will never abandon my stories...maybe a hiatus if I have to, but I'll keep on writing! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

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Review #3, by comet855 What?!

9th April 2011:
That was adorable, and a really good chapter. Its always nice when you add little things like the cat and not being able to wake up Alice. About the cat, it fits in perfectly, because I do think I remember something in one of the books about the Potters having a cat. Pumpkin should stay until the end, and I really hope you do go all the way to their deaths!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! It honestly just made my day so much happier! I'll be sure to go as far as I can with this and Pumpkin will definitely be staying! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #4, by Mintleaf Bad Idea

25th March 2011:
Wrapping up! I like how creative you've been with making things up and incorporating things like the weird sisters and Frank being in the same year as the marauders. I like this chapter and I like that there's seeming to be more mystery and less cliche so I'm glad that you haven't disappointed me! :)

Author's Response: Thank you!

I'm honestly honored that you read the whole thing and you seem to enjoy it!

I want very hard for this story to be as original as it can without being ridiculous. I have to say my next chapter is a bit out there...but certainly NOTHING like I've ever read before and I hope cliche free.

I really cannot thank you enough for your times and your very excellent reviews. You really educated me to my own writing! Thank you!


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Review #5, by Mintleaf Unexpected

25th March 2011:
Back again :)

Grammar/Readability:
A very minor slip up but, “What is common misconception about yourself?” I think you wanted 'what is a common...'


Characterization:
In the last two chapters Sirius just seems really loud and annoying! It's bizarre!

“Are you bloody serious?” “No, that's me!” Sirius butted in cheerily. Lily shot him a look and he quelled under her glare. - I do love a bad pun hahahaha! :)

Lily's full name is hilarious and I completely believe it! I'm not a big fan of the name petunia and I think names like Beatrice are pretty much on par. Theodosius is another league of bad though.


Plot/Flow:
I think the passage when they were reminicising on the highlights of their time in the girl's dorm was lovely!

The portrait questions were clever, and a good way to bring some more drama/emotion into the story.

Again, I like the detail you've put into their surroundings. Having their dorms look like their rooms at home was smart and creative!

I'm a bit confused at the last two paragraphs though. They are good and all but I think they needed a bit more lead up and I thinkt hey should have happened while James and Lily were alone. At the moment aren't they in the same room as everyone else? It seems very odd!

Author's Response: I'll fix that little slip asap!

Sirius... I don't know. He's a hard nut to crack. I would think he would have a little bit of a swinging personality. Maybe I just developed that wya of thinking, but I just can't see him always being calm or polite. All that family crud has to get through his thick heads sometimes in some way right?

Ah, puns, I'm not the biggest fan, but it is my FAVORITE pun ever and I had to use it at least once!

My mother wanted to name me Theodosius. *shudders* Thankfully, my dad talked her out of it, but I still shiver at the idea and I thought it would be very fun to create such horror from a name :P

The last two paragraphs... I have to say I was very hesitant about that. I think all the loosing up from their drinking had a lot to do with that. Though, I have absolutely zero experience with alcohol I have seen people act rather rashly and/or very out of character while under the influence. Lily just couldn't hold it in for one more minute, you know? I hope you can forgive the slight bizareness of it!


Thank you a million times over for such a wonderful, instructive review!


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Review #6, by Mintleaf Share a B-b-ba-bathroom?

25th March 2011:
Grammar/Readability:
Again, no issues :)


Characterization:
Did James already start asking her out on dates in their first week at school though? He didn't seem at all interested at her on the train and they were very young! It worries me a little to think of eleven year olds dating.


Plot/Flow:
I really enjoy the detail you've put into thinking up their common room. The idea of having their pictures on the walls is great, and really cute!

I don't thinkt hey would be learning Aguamenti in seventh year! Seems a bit too remedial...

I'll keep reading and see where you go with them moving in! :)

Author's Response: I wasn't sure when to have her start asking him out, although I will say, at least in my life experience I've known plenty of people who started "dating" as young as 9 or 10... So, I thought it was possible. Maybe not exactly probable, but James does like to break tradtion a bit, right? Or is that just me...? Haha

Thank you so much! It took me quite awhile to develop their common room so I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Yes, the remedial spell... The students learn it waht year? It's between fourth and sixth in my head... I thought I'd have them do a little "returning to the basics", you know? I figured that in their last year it would be important to weed out the slipping students and reaffirm their abilities and past lessons... Does that make any sense?

Thank you again for such a helpful review!


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Review #7, by Mintleaf Interesting...

25th March 2011:
Hi again!

Grammar/Readability:
This chapter seems fine!


Characterization:
I will say though, I think they are all very polite to each other for people who pretty much live together. Not within the girls and boys but when they mix together... they're just too lovely for teenagers haha! This isn't really a big deal or anything though.

Filch's stupidity is perfect. So amusing hahaha.

Dumbledore is also excellent! Good work, he's a tricky one to write! Why isn't his password a type of sweet though?!


Plot/Flow:
This was a way better start than I was expecting! It was so James-like but not cliche either! :)

I'm worried at the announcement of the head's dorm! I'm scared of cliches. Oh so scared! Please don't disappoint me haha! :) That being said, I think the issue would be resolved if you offered some kind of explanation, because it didn't sound like this was tradition or anything. They seemed surprised which leads me to believe that it was new protocol and this would become ten times more viable if you offered some kind of explanation!

Author's Response: Thank you!

The Head Dorm thing... I was absolutely terrfied to do that! It really just works so well as a device and I'm going to try extra, extra hard not to let it become cliche in anyway... I want it to be a gathering place where they happen to live and not the scene of their torrid affairs or anything like that so hopefully I can just use it as a device and not fall into anything there!

Thank you for another so very enlightening review!


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Review #8, by Mintleaf A Little Introduction

25th March 2011:
Hello! Here with your review! I'm excited to be reading more marauder stories haha :)

Grammar/Readability:
I've never been a particular fan of things written in the present tense, but I think this is well written enough to excuse that haha! :)

'smattering of polite applause' this is perfect for this sentence! :)

I think you might benefit from going back and running a critical eye over the complexity of each sentence. Particularly watch your use of commas, as in you could use a few more!


Characterization:
I hope that James and Lily don't become too cliche! Remus and Alice are written well though when they're mentioned! Make that Sirius too :)

So is Frank the fifth Gryffindor boy in their year? I like that, he always seems to be older but this is a nice change!


Plot/Flow:
Your opening sequence was precious! It was really, really cute.

I definitely don't think you should give up (although I obviously know you didn't), but I hope you don't fall into too many cliches, although I know how avoidable it is with marauders era stories; i'm guilty of the same!

Author's Response: I'm trying so darn hard not to fall into cliches! Please tell me if you find any and I will gladly go back and try to rework them! I'll also look over this again and tryo to fix anything small.

Thank you so much for such a helpful review!


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Review #9, by Maya Bad Idea

20th March 2011:
Awesome Story! Keep it up. I love it. And I love the complicity between James and Lily!
Can't wait until the next update!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm writing the next chapter now! Thanks again :)

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Review #10, by Rita Skeeter Bad Idea

15th February 2011:
Ooh, Sirius likes Amelia?? ahaha just a guess :)

I love this story!!

Author's Response: I did make that quite obvious didn't I? Haha thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #11, by Rita Skeeter Unexpected

15th February 2011:
Reeoww ;) ahaha i love this story!!

Author's Response: Glad you love it and thanks for reading!

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Review #12, by Rita Skeeter Share a B-b-ba-bathroom?

15th February 2011:
love it :) great job- i've favourited this :)
10/10

Author's Response: Thank you for reading, reviewing and favouriting!

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Review #13, by comet855 Bad Idea

7th February 2011:
Great. Sirius obviously fancies Mel, are they going to get together? This chapter was a little short, but I liked it :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I just wanted to update! I don't know about them gettig together, but he might like her... ;)

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Review #14, by hpfanatic2010 Unexpected

4th February 2011:
So, I just read all four chapters of this story, I finished your Charisma/James Potter II story yesterday, and the day before that, I read the Fred/Dixie story. Well, what you have of it, anyway. I absolutely loved every single one of them! I hope you update them soon. :D

Author's Response: I think you read anothert author's stuff but I'm glad you liked my story! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #15, by weasly_wannabe Unexpected

21st January 2011:
super super cute chapter!!!i love the ending, and its so cute how james knew her better than she knew herself...can wait fo the next chapter!!!

Author's Response: I just finished writing it! I've been so bad abotu updating *cringes* I have one story in the queue and have to add a challenge after that and then chappie 5 will be up! Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #16, by weasly_wannabe Interesting...

20th January 2011:
i was wondering where the heads dorms was...i like it! and i love how the portrait mans name is harry =)

Author's Response: Thank you for your review and I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #17, by C A L M Unexpected

16th January 2011:
I love this story!! You are a brillant writer and you have written the characters personality really well (for example most people make Lily sound like a cow and hates James because of Snapes worst memory in harry potter 5, but Remus said in the prisoner of azkaban that she was an unusually kind witch which is what you have written her as :). Hope that made sense haha but yeah love the story and look foward to reading more :).

10/10

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you so much for the review and I'm happy you liked the way I wrote them :D

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Review #18, by harrypotterfan12345 Share a B-b-ba-bathroom?

12th December 2010:
have you stopped writing? please dont i really love this story :(

Author's Response: Oh my I feel so bad... I'll put up a new chapter in the next week... Real life has just horribly kicked my butt the last months... I won't stop writing until it's done! :) Thank you for letting me someone still cares about the story ;)

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Review #19, by 4ever&Always Unexpected

20th November 2010:
WOW! That WAS very unexpected! (Nice pun eh?) Seriously, (That one I didn't do on purpose) I didn't see that one coming. I love your banner or whatever y'all call them, its adorable. As for your story I adore it too. Keep writin' and I'll keep readin'!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the story! Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #20, by Tonks101 Unexpected

28th October 2010:
Aw so sweet! I luv it

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it :)

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Review #21, by HarryPotterLover Unexpected

28th September 2010:
Oh gosh, this is SOOO GOOD! I want to read more! Please, please, please write more very soon. I absolutely love the relation between James and Lily! :D

Author's Response: AW! Thank you! You totally made my day! I'll put another chapter up asap.

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Review #22, by harrypotterfan12345 Unexpected

27th September 2010:
omg :) this story is amazing i love it! please keep writing this is a new favorite

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, thank you so much! I'm actually working on the next chapter at the moment. *hides face in shame* I've been crazy with challenges and other plot bunnies xD I am so honored that you called this your favorite! Thank you so very much for reading and reviewing! You totally made my day! :D

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Review #23, by nitenel Unexpected

27th September 2010:
Eeek a kiss! Wasn't expecting that so soon! I luv this story so far!!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I didn't expect that to happen myself. It kind of just flowe dout of my fingers (which tends to happen a lot when I'm writing my stories...). Thanks for reading and reviewing and I'm so happy you're enjoying it!

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Review #24, by lilylunapotter26 Unexpected

26th September 2010:
I realized that I had started reading this a while ago, but never finished!! So sorry about that!! I LOVED IT! James and Lily are so cute!! I loved Sirius's line when Lily said "Are you serious." and he replied with "Actually I am." LOL That was a great line!! I love this story!! Sometimes I hesitate to read these because I know the fates to all the characters and it makes me sad :( But I lovvvee this one!!

My favorite part was when James apologized for calling her Lily and then she called him James. That was adorable!! AW!! Pleasse update soon!! Pretty please?
100/10
-Graceyn

Author's Response: You make me smile! Thanks so much for review and I'm so glad you liked this... I'm not sure where it'll end or when I'll be able to get the next chapter up... Thanks so much for taking the time to come review! You are so my hero!

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Review #25, by dobbyismyhero22 Unexpected

22nd September 2010:
Ah thank you for mentioning me! It pretty much like made my life!!! I loved this chapter so muchh:) When they kissed at the end I was pretty much freaking out! Gahhh I loved it. I already said that but whatever because I loved it. Okay now three timeesss... I'm just rambling now. Blah. Okay bye and thanks again:)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing and I'm so glad you loved it! I really love this story... I like my writing which is so egotisitcal, but at least someone else enjoys it too! Thanks for reading and you're very welcome! :)

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