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Reading Reviews for Fallen
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lunarocks14 One

13th October 2010:
Wow, I love this. Poor Lily :(. She's soo sweet. And it's really lovely; I may go listen to that song at some point. Not at the moment as I'm in ICT xD. But I will :) this is really sad but I love it. Snuffles again. 10/10!

Author's Response: Thank you! haha! :)

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Review #2, by Illuminate One

1st October 2010:

I think this is a lovely story. Your characters are very believable and realistic, especially your main character. The whole idea of it is very sad and romantic. I think you could extend it a little at the end and give a little info on Lily's life after he leaves, and perhaps when he just gets back. When it end it sort of feels cut off.

But apart from that, it's a very inspired piece :) Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #3, by moonbaby11 One

25th September 2010:
I really loved this. You had so much emotion and depth to this story, that it was just really great! :)

First, I really liked how you characterized Lily. She just couldn't stop grieving over her family, which just made her seem really believable. Also, I liked the bit about how she hated her eyes. I thought that that was rather interesting. ;)

The character of Liam was interesting also. I liked how he didn't give up on Lily, even after she'd rejected him.

You had a few errors, but most of them were just typos, so it was nothing to major or glaring! You might just want to go back and fix them up.

The one thing that I was waiting for was to learn how Harry, Ginny, James and Al died. It was somethign that I thought you might've wanted to include in the one-shot, since Lily grieving over their death was a major part of this story.

Overall, I thought this was really great! I loved the bitter-sweet ending. Great job and keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #4, by Ravenclaw333 One

25th September 2010:
A powerful story and concept, well written, though I think it would have more impact if you stripped away some unneccesary details and just left what was really essential to the story. How did Lily's entire family die? You touch on her grief and her regrets, but perhaps some more detail on what's actually haunting her, what happened to them, would be good. Other than that, good job :)

Author's Response: Thank you! :)
I thought how they died could be a story by itself, so ... :)
But, I'm glad you liked it :D

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Review #5, by Elizabeth_Black One

24th September 2010:
Hi! It's Elizabeth23 from the forums, here with the review you requested :)

I truly loved this. It's written very well, and, despite being bitter sweet, I couldn't look away. It was also very real, and there weren't really any cliches.

First things first, I did notice a couple of grammar mistakes. Nothing major, just a few forgotten spaces: "wasinfectious" and "togive", however, that is my only complaint.

Lily's characterisation was brilliant for a one-shot, and very well thought out. The grieving process that she was still going through was written brilliantly. I liked how you wrote her with OCD... it made her appear very human, and more believable.

Liam was a very interesting character, and I admire him for not giving up on Lily. I thought it was sweet how he only subtly tried to tell her his feelings at first.

The end was so sweet! I loved it, and I liked how you didn't make it really "soppy", or had the dramatic "fall into each others arms" scene. You just kept it nice with a hint of sadness and still left me wondering about what would happen next.

The little added things, like how she hated her eyes, just added to the story. It seems like such a little thing that could be over-looked, but I loved how you included it.

You asked for critique, but I can't think of anything. Just go over it to fix the spacing and that's it!

You are most welcome to drop off anything else you would like reviewed. I would be delighted to read more of your work :)

Thank you so much for the request! I really loved this story - it really was beautiful. 10/10!


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Review #6, by Harrypotterbookworm One

14th August 2010:
This is such a breathtaking story. You bring such emotion and depth to it. It is a very different plot as well. No one would think that Harry would die. But if you think about it, no one can actually live forever (well, except for Nicholas Flamel, but he doesn't have the stone any more) and even though Harry seems kind of indestructible, he will die at some point. But poor Lily, with all of them dying. That must have been so painful. I love the best friend romance who was the rock during the trouble, I'm a sucker for things like that. There are a few little grammar things such as missing out some spaces and letter, but those can be easily fixed. The last line is especially powerful.
I really hope they get together! I love Liam!
Hugs, HPB.

Author's Response: Thank you! x

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Review #7, by amanda One

28th July 2010:
this story is really good keep up the good work update soon =)

Author's Response: First of all, thanks so much for reviewing. :) Secondly, this is a one-shot. :) so no more updates.
Thanks for reading anyway. :D

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