And so it ends - and with an absolute cracker of a final chapter. I knew that something had to happen at the quidditch game - the title was a dead giveaway, if nothing else - but I don't think I was quite prepared for how brutal it was. I noticed that good old Zacharias Smith was the tratior - I never liked him either, so it was kind of nice to see that my suspicions were verified. It really was one heck of a finale, I'll say that much. And Harry? Is he alive or dead? You really did leave that up in the air, though like I said I do think that this is fairly epilogue-compliant, so I'm choosing to think that he lives.
All in all another fabulous story, Eldy. I don't know where you get your ideas from but this was gripping from the very start, despite my grumbling about over-long chapters. All in all a most intriguing read, and again my apologies for taking so long to get around to it. Then again, I seem to remember I have a short story collection that you've promised to read, too, so I don't feel too bad. (This isn't a hint, by the way, just me pointing out that we're in the same boat. Damn RL and all that.)
melian (gryffindor)Author's Response: Mel,
Its been an honor and a pleasure to get all these great reviews from you. Thanks again!
Yep, Zack's the bad guy. Couldn't help doing that, since, in the Clocks reality, he was a good guy and Colin (one L ;) is the traitor. Zack makes another appearance in the Crusadiverse in "Tipping Point."
Harry is alive. Ginny got to him just in the nick of time. Mayhap I should go back and make that more clear...
Gripping? Thank you again! I'm not quite sure where my muse gets this stuff, but I'm very grateful that she keeps it up. This one was about the hardest to write. The transitions, as I'd mentioned earlier, became a REAL pain.
the primary problem was the one that transitions into King shouting "Arthur!" I broke Harry POV there and didn't want to. But I just HAD to have that Arthur/King discussion to, once again, flesh out the backstory on why the "kids" (Ron and Harry) are running the Aurors and not someone with more experience. Finally, I just resolved to break Harry POV and do what needed doing. As you didn't mention it, I assume I was able to get away with it and not damage the tale.
Now, on to more important matters
Process is the next thing I will read - and don't worry about guilting me ;) I already made that promise in a previous review response - although I think I said HTM instead of Process - alzheimers...
Can't thank you enough!
Eldy Report Review
Ooh! Nice twist! Rather scary, I admit, but I hold to the idea that Harry was well and truly alive in the epilogue to DH and I don't think you've strayed that far from canon. So I remain hopeful.
I liked the conversation between Molly and Kingsley, with her trying to find him a wife and then ordering him to stay for dinner. Really captured the human side of the MInister and gave a really good dynamic for his relationship with the Weasleys. I also liked how impressed he was with how well Hermione and Ginny were picking up the fighting skills, because I dare say it would take a lot to impress him.
Speaking of which, again your characterisation of the quartet is excellent, with that whole conversation ringing true to life. It was a bit grim, I admit, but then again the circumstances did warrant that. All in all no complaints.
Next one's the last chapter, right? I'm dying to see how this plays out.
melian (gryffindor)Author's Response: Mwahahaha! I just couldn't resist throwing Death in there at the end of the chapter. It had all been building up to that moment.
Keep in mind, I wrote this after Crusade. So, anyone who read that would know that everyone survived the Battle of the Pitch. I needed the "B" story line (set after Crusade) to keep the suspense up. Will Harry live? Good question...
Moving on. Thanks for the praise of the Molly/King exchange. Its one of my favorite parts, so to hear it praised is really cool.
His opinion of their dueling was key, as in all of these pre-Crusade tales, I'm filling in back story. In Crusade, Ginny tells Hermione that she's noticed how strong the quartet's magic is compared to everyone else. So I needed to more thoroughly address that here. Hence, King's comments on their prowess.
The convo the quartet had was key as well to explain the new fighting we see in Crusade - Expulso's, Reducto's and Bombarda's all over the place, and not much Stupefy and how rare the AK is and why. hence the grimness. Again, I'm really flattered by the praise of the characterizations - Thanks!
Eldy Report Review
Eldy, what's with these 8000 word chapters? You do realise how long it takes to read this???
That aside, my pedantic side must point out that Colin Creevey's name has only one "l", not two. *takes picky hat off* Apart from that, it was a really good chapter. I remember you saying in a review of HTM that, in this story Ron and Harry decided that Hermione and Ginny needed to be trained up in order to protect them, so I knew it was coming. I think you handled it pretty well, though. I liked Ron's hesitance that Hermione get in the thick of things at all (sounds familiar, that) but, as Harry pointed out, it was necessary.
I also liked the bit about Tom Riddle's wand - something tells me that it didn't get burnt in the fire, did it? Maybe someone Accio'd it from Harry without him noticing, there was enough else going on to make that plausible.
Overall, a good - if long -chapter. Onwards I go!!
melian (gryffindor)Author's Response: ROFL. Sorry about the wordy, but I had a LOT to cover here. And, as finding a way to transition from "past" to "Present" became harder and harder, i was desperately trying to limit the number of chapters this story would get. Hence the LONG one here.
Colin. Check. will fix! Promise!
I forgot I mentioned this scene in that review for HTM (which was a brilliant tale, I must say yet again. You rock!)
I figured Ron's still got a bit of a chauvanistic streek in him that he's working through. Don't worry, hermione will eventually beat it out of him.
Now, as to Riddle's wand...All I can say, is that gets addressed in "The Tipping Point," Chapters 5-7 of "Tales from the Crusadiverse."
Thanks again for the great review!
Eldy Report Review
I meant to say this last chapter, but I think it's really interesting that you've got Hermione still using Bellatrix's wand. I'm not really sure why she'd choose to do that but I assume that your reasoning will be explained at some stage in this story. I await it expectantly. :)
Right. This chapter. Nice introduction of Percy and Audrey, though like Harry I was rather surprised that it was Percy in the pond with a girl. It was a good touch, though, because as Ginny pointed out it really cemented Percy as a Weasley rather than the aberration he is so often portrayed as. I liked Audrey, too, she seems a good foil to him. Nice characterisation!
Speaking of which, I liked the Ron/Hermione bit at the start of the chapter as well - again, your characterisation of these Hogwarts-era characters is spot-on. It's much harder to get them right than, say, the Marauders or next gen, because we know them so well, but these ones could have stepped right out of JKR's notepads. Great job!
PS - I understand the chapter title now. Cute.
melian (gryffindor)Author's Response: "could have stepped right out of JKR's notepads."
Mel, that's HUGE praise. Thank you so much!
This chapter was probably the single most fun I've had since I started writing again. I got a real kick out of all the bait and switches: Ron and Hermione on the verge of a huge row that turns into a snog fest. Harry and Ginny going all intimate and then getting interupted, not for a duel, but for Percy being completely Un Percy-ish. And then, out of left field, Harry's brood at almost losing Hermione. I just couldn't help myself in this chapter - sometimes I think I may have let this story go off the rails here, but then I get a great review like this and it totally makes my day.
P.S. Almost forgot. The whole wand thing gets addressed in chapter 1 of "Tales from the Crusadiverse," which is aptly titled "Hermione's Wand."
I spent most of the stories in "Tales" cleaning up and answering a lot of questions left unresolved in the backstory of Crusade. Like Hermione keeping Bella's wand, why Harry and Yaxley's wands lock (Chapters 5-7 of "Tales", called "The Tipping Point). But again, that's a tale for another day...
P.P.S. You're the first person to get the chapter title! I really should give you a prize. Been waiting for that for a while! Report Review
Well, that was action packed! I admit that with kids running around it took a bit of re-reading to get it all in, but I think I managed in the end. I liked the Azkaban scene - okay, I admit that was most of the chapter, but it was pretty gripping, what with Hermione doing the forensic work to find out how the escape occured, and then the curse parchment at the end. It was almost like a detective story (which I have a bit of a weakness for), which is probably why I enjoyed it so much.
Great banter from Ron and Harry at the start as well. Your characterisation of those two is, as always, excellent. :)
melian (gryffindor)Author's Response: I am a Ron/Harry shipper. LOL! Really appreciate you complimenting the way I write them. I do get a great deal of satisfaction out of the Ron/Harry "buddy cop" movie.
The Azkaban scene was the first time I really and truly got to delve into what is only hinted at in Crusade: that Harry, Ron and Hermione are still "on the job," just like during their Hogwarts days. To me, it just seemed very crucial in a Post Hogwart world. These three are so close (and Ginny too) that I can't imagine them going separate ways after DH.
I've never really written a detective story before (and I don't pretend to have done so yet!:) But, I'm glad you liked how this all plays out. There is a "mystery" twist in this tale that actually doesn't get resolved until my short story "The Tipping Point." But that is a tale for another day...
Eldy Report Review
Eldy! I finally made it to this story, after meaning to for the past, um, year. Yeah, sorry about that. *hangs head in shame* At least ReviewFest has now given me the impetus to get up off my rear end and do something about it. :)
Anyway, a superb start. I'm not usually a huge fan of flashbacks but this really works, though I'm kinda dying to know what got Harry into this situation in the first place. Naturally I know it'll be revealed in due course, but then that assumes I'm willing to wait that long. Hahaha.
The conversation around the Weasley kitchen table was brilliant. I especially liked the bit where Arthur is revealed to be an evil genius, and he just points out that Fred and George had to get it from somewhere. I always saw that trait in Arthur but it unfortunately goes unacknowledged far too often.
Also loved Hermione getting the Undersecretary job. Perfect person for the role! Can't wait to see how that plays out.
Onward I go!
melian (gryffindor)Author's Response: Eldy is a bad house elf...
I MUST get off my keester and get with review fest and HTM has been on my "to read" list longer than Pitch has been on yours. I'll try my best O Captain, My Captain! RL...no more excuses...
So glad you're reading Pitch! Flattered!!
The flashback thing was a necessity. you see, I had two competeing plot bunnies. One for the Battle of the Pitch mentioned in Crusade. The other involved Harry stumbling, wounded, down a lonesome road. I HATE writing more than one story at a time, so I combined them. The transitions were easy at first, then they became nearly impossible. I almost scrapped the whole story and started over.
Anyway, so glad you liked the Burrow scene. I love the Weasleys almost as much as the farmgirl. And its too much fun to write a scene like this. And I totally agree with you as to Arthur - making him the source of all "Weasleyishness" just makes infinite sense to me as well.
Hermione Rules! Glad you liked that Undersecretary fourish too - and it seems like you bought my explanation as to how and why she got the job at such a young age. later in the tale I expain/justify more fully why Harry and Ron are so highly placed in the ministry, as well. I hope that rings true with you when you come to it.
Again, thanks so much!
Eldy Report Review
Eldy, can I say this is brilliant! I just love reading your work over and over because of the detail and the characterization you build! The plots are utterly fantastic too! I love reading these stories with Harry and Ron as Aurors, and you probably do it the best along with justanothermuggle, but sadly they like disappeared off of this fanfiction universe! Made me devastated! Especially since in my personal opinion you two make your universes so close in characterization with I love! But I am getting off my point.
You have an extreme gift with your writing and your action scenes are so good! I love the link that Harry and Ginny shares and how worried he gets about her! It brings so much emotion into play! Love it! Honestly you have done such a wonderful job and reading this makes me go off and daydream other stories about Harry and Ron as Aurors.. sad really.
I love the weakness you portray with Harry! Its kinda sad for me to admit this but I am one who likes Harry getting hurt. Ugh terrible I know! But I guess seeing him in true weakness unlike other stories where he comes out heroically strong and unscathed. Those annoy me. I hope to hear many more adventures! Such a great piece of work! Thanks Eldy!Author's Response: Hello godricsword! And thanks for this stupendous review.
I am very much inspired by JAM and SD. You can still find there stories over at ffdotnet. Sadly, SD passed away back in May. A horrible loss as she was truly brilliant. JAM and I have chatted and he intends to complete his universe but it will, naturally, be much more difficult without her.
Action scenes and the Ron/Harry partnership are my favorite things to write, so I'm really glad you enjoy it. It just seems to me that Ron and Harry as Aurors would simply have to be like a really good buddy-cop movie and that's what I've striven to make it look like.
Guilty pleasure, but I like seeing Harry in tight spots too. Just more dramatic, like with what happened to Hermione in the Archives. A good portion of this tale was written around the idea of Ron holding an unconcsious Hermione while he desperately fought off a pack of DE's and the whole time Ron had gone totally balistically mad dog angry.
The link is a flourish I absolutely love. As I've said, tho, its not my original idea. JAM used it long before me and I believe MyGinevra may have used it before JAM. Edward Ollivander used it before either of them (I think) but I have no clue who actually came up with the original idea. That said, Harry is still very human - a very strong character, definitely a hero, but still human. I'm glad you like how it all comes together.
Not sure if you've seen them, but there are a whole slew of tales that I've written in "Tales from the Crusadiverse." Its a collection of short stories that covers the background before Children's Crusade.
Again, its great to get a wonderful review like this.
WOW! I think you know deep down that you have produced yet another phenomenal story and you really, really really don't need me to tell you how much I enjoyed it and how wonderously talented you are at writing dramas surrounding the Quartet. Your stories never fail to entertain in many ways, comedy, love, action, suspense and drama to the absolute max. You are a phenomenal writer who really does deserve every accolade this site could provide. I'm honoured to call you my friend :)
And so, to a review, well, I'll do my best because as always I get so caught up I can't make myself keep notes to make my review coherent lol!
The start with Harry was so dramatic, it really felt like it was a premonition of the drama I knew was going to come in this chapter.
But then you disperse it with the humour at the start of the chapter with the boys being late and Ron fussing about food again. You really do write Ron superbly, it's the best I;ve read him on the site and I actually prefer your Ron to JKR's, you give him so much more credit as a character :)
Now the encounter with Zack was brilliant, and it was there I really started to get jittery about the whole calm before the storm feeling I was having. Having read the stories totally out of order I knew there was a huge battle coming up but here was where I really felt it starting to develop.
I had to stifle my laughter about Ron's hinting about the pond incident ;) Absolutely classic bit of humour there, great to lighten the mood slightly. This whole scene was a great snippet into Weasley life after the war, to an extent, and it made the fighting all the worse after seeing such a happy family scene. But bless Arthur for his Muggle obsession! I'm so glad you included that :)
Gosh! Isn't Ron a sharp little knife now! That's why I love the way you write him, you give him so much more depth and credit him so much more than JKR ever did, it's like he's always been Harry's equal, but in the books it was never that way.
But by Merlin! Those action scenes were more heart in mouth than a ride on a Hippogriff! They were so dramatic, so full of action and you really felt like your heart was in your mouth for the whole second half of the chapter! I really felt like I could feel the emotion and the tension the characters were feeling and I so wanted to grab my wand and jump in to help! You write these scenes brilliantly :) I was so glad to see the end of Greyback finally, but Yaxley is a slimy snake indeed!
The ending, with Ginny finding Harry in the future was also great, it concluded and rounded off the story beautifully and really showed a rgeat eloquence to your writing :)
And so, another story you have written that I am truly in love with, that has gripped me from the start and that I have struggled to find enough kind and appropriate words to review. You really do leave me speechless with your extraodinary talent at writing and I am definitely looking forward to reading my way through everything you have written, so get to my review thread to request and make sure I do! I hate that RL got in the way all those months ago and stopped me reading this when I planned to, but never fear, I will be reading everything :)
You are fantastic, don't ever forget that!Author's Response: Ok. Uh. Wow.
Speechless here. Truly speechless.
Lily, one of the greatest things about this site, and me finding writing again, is getting to meet all the great folks out here in "potterdom"
It really is the icing on the cake. Thank YOU. Heck, you were my first big supporter, nearly, three years ago now. I'll never forget that. I'm eternally in your debt and count myself lucky to have you as a friend.
Ron. I really do like the kid. Maturing him, growing him based on the way JKR wrote him during the Battle of Hogwarts is my favorite thing to do. He truly is a dangerous adversary now, Harry's equal. And the two of them together are nearly unstoppable - except where their witches are concerned. LOL!
And, again, to hear my version of Ron praised really makes my day. Thanks!!
As to the actions scenes, this says it all "I wanted to grab my wand and jump in to help" I really can't thank you enough. The Battle here was one of the toughest to write because there was just so much going on. At least in Crusade, I could cut away and take it in pieces, but I desperately wanted to keep a Harry POV here, and that was DEVILISHLY hard. But, if I got you to the point that you wanted to join the Weasleys in kicking some DE posterior, I know I've suceeded.
Balanceing the humor, romance, drama and action...well, I tend to write the kind of stuff I like to read - I can never stay too serious for too long, or dwell on any single angle without having to cut to some other aspect. Maybe I've got ADD? LOL! Just the same, thank you again.
Lils, I promise to get back to your review thread just as soon as I can. With amazing reviews like these, how could I not?
RL has been brutal. About the only thing I've been able to keep up with is reviewing, and ocasionally checking in with the forums so I'm not completely out of touch.
What I'd really like to do is write. But there just isn't the time. This summer has been far to hectic. Just the same, hearing from you has made it all worth while.
Thank you my friend, for everything.
P.S. There's a complete timeline at the end of this chapter, to help navigate through the Crusadiverse.
A lovely glimpse of normality at the Burrow to start the chapter :) It's so great to see glimpses of happy canon throughout the whole story, it really gives it a great grounding in the here and now so to speak :)
I loved the little 'heart to heart' between Arthur and Kingsley. You gave us a great insight into these two characters which was wonderful to read :) I loved how they linked to Dumbledore and all the other canon battles that have happened :)
You capture the dynamics between the Quartet so perfectly that it is truly phenomenal to read. You have it so perfectly on the balance, it really does leave me speechless with your ability to write this :)
The ending with Harry talking to Death himself was a fantastic twist, absolutely fabulous and totally unexpected!
Another fantastic chapter, truly brilliant and a real feeling of calm before the storm again!Author's Response: On the whole, the year leading up to the Battle of the Pitch has been a good one for the quartet. Harry and Ginny moved out of the Burrow ("Journey of a Thousand Miles" is the tale that covers that), the DE's are leaderless and are being rounded up, Harry's gotten comfortable leading the Corps, with Ron's help, the House Elf laws been passed and peace is being restored. I wanted to show a glimpse of that happiness here and in chapter 1. Then, of course, I go and let Yaxley escape and ruin everything.
But there still are some light hearted moments before Crusade comes crashing down on everyone. "The Adventures of Reckless Git and Danger Ponce" which takes place a few months after Pitch is fairly light hearted, but then as the war drags on, the strain really starts to tell on Harry, as "Tipping Point" makes clear.
The Arthur/King dialogue was what threw me. I needed to get that speech in there, to justify why the DA HAD to take over the Auror Corps; but the transition, without a Harry POV was troublesome. I'm really pleased you liked it.
OK, blushing with the praise in your third paragraph. Thanks!! I just had to have Hermione wack Ron with a pillow, couldn't help myself. That whole scene was a blast to write, especially the part where Ron gets the better of Hermione.
Yep. It's Death, come to claim his due.
Thanks so much for this great review!
Eldy Report Review
Framing either end of the chapter with the snippets of Harry in the future is a great touch, it really does give the story an edge to it :) It's a great technique to almost tell 2 stories at once :)
I love the banter between George and the Aurors at the start of the chapter, it was a great snippet of normality, a calm before the storm as it were, but I didn't realise just how much it was! You hinted with the fear over Greyback, it's like they speak of him with the same fear they spoke of Bellatrix or even Baldy Shorts himself when he wasn't around.
What a twist after a little lull though! The drama and action was tremendously fast paced, incredibly well written and real nail biting stuff. I was literally on the edge of my seat, well, as much as you can be when you're propped up on pillows in bed haha! The duel with Yaxley was absolutely phenomenal and boy were the Angels just in time!
The way you revealed the new aspect to the link was brilliantly done, and really lovely to read. Ron and Hermione are total nightmares though! They don't half make me laugh ;)
Kingsley's debrief, if I can call it that, was fantastically done also, as was the scene between Ron and Harry in the flat. It was all so detailed and brilliant and just super de dooper :) LOVE IT! LOVE the whole story :)Author's Response: This was the last "easy chapter" as far as the bookend story line goes. It got devilishly hard to make it work after this.
The George/Aurors scene was somthing I always wanted to do. Kind of a "guys cutting up in the locker room" thing. I'm really glad you liked that. And then everything goes to Hades...
This chapter was actually built around the idea of Ron fighting off a slew of DE's while he clings to an unconscious Hermione. And then Ron just goes full-on angry-mad-mean. I just always liked the idea of Ron whipping up on anyone who threatens her well being.
And, yes, Harry just about bought the farm there - thanks to the ANgels for saving the day. Sooner or later, I'm gonna have to write a story just for them.
Ron and Harry's scene was crucial. REALLY appreciative of the praise there. Although Harry and Ron have been growing closer since DH, they really didn't become equals (in Ron's mind) until the DE's made him undesirable number 2. It was that act that finally allowed Ron to put to rest his last doubts that he was just harry's side-kick. As a result, he could finally tell Harry how he really felt - that they were brothers and had been for quite a while.
These reviews are amazing!
Eldy Report Review
This chapter, this story is all just so perfect :) I truly love it to a huge extent :)
The details of how things have changed, like Seamus taking some more control etc really does help explain things yet also give the reader a slight break from the tension that is building. I don't know whether you mean to but after each little tension break it feels like you're knocking it up another level, it's fantastically done :)
The discussions around the Death Eater plans were fantastic and detailed. It's great to see Ron having a more active part in the Trio, sorry! Quartet ;) and the detail you provide just knocks it to another level :)
The argument and make up with Ron and Hermione was ever so funny, you write these so well and they always make me laugh!
And oh do I love that link! The way you write Harry and Ginny is so unique and brilliant, I could read it all day if I'm honest. You really do show in a fantastic way how brilliant they are for each other :)
Another rolling on the floor moment in this chapter, Percy skinny dipping with a woman! Where did you come up with that, it's comic genius and I actually spat lemonade all over my keyboard, not that I mind, I had such a belly laugh it was well worth it! Brilliantly written though, just perfect to break the tension again!
And what a great ending with flashing back to Harry in danger, just fantastically done and another superb chapter :)Author's Response: This chapter has to be about my favorite of all the fluff/friendship/relationship stuff I've written. Psyched you enjoyed it!
The couples should be close, tight friends, who are exceedingly familiar with each other. Even without a link, it seems to me that Harry and Ron and Ron and Hermione and Harry and Hermione all know what the other is thinking to a fair degree. Its great fun to write them all like this.
The link is a favorite flourish of mine. But again, it's not my original creation. Justanothermuggle, MyGinevra and Edward Ollivander all used it before I did. I honestly don't know who first created it, but it is a fun flourish.
That said, the Harry Ginny romance and the R/Hr romance always compete as being my favorite. Right now, R/Hr is my favorite, but that changes month-to-month. Harry and Ginny's scene at the pond has got to be one of my all time favorites.
Got you laughing with Percy/Audrey in the pond? Classic! Hope I didn't ruin your computer. I just couldn't help myself with that scene.
Usually, I interupt my characters mid sentence to start a duel. here, I thought it would be fun to interupt H/G's conversation for a...well..."Out of character Percy Moment". Yeah, that's what we'll call it. LOL! The muse just dumped that scene on me - I really don't know where it came from, but It cracked me up too. My muse is not well.
Thanks again for this amazing review!
Eldy Report Review
I get so carried away reading your writing that I forget to make notes so that my reviews make even an ounce of common sense.
I honestly don't know why you worry about anything you write, I can't criticise or wish for anything to be changed, and the time switches are brilliantly done. I know how hard it can be making them work but you've doen a darn sight better that I did!
The Ron and Harry friendship is written perfectly throughout. You really have nailed that and it's a joy to read. If I didn't know better I would say this was a secret story from JKR because in all honesty, it is so believable and just perfect I'd have thought she'd written it ;)
The tension building throughout the chapter to the reveal that it's Greyback who's the one they really need to watch is perfectly done. You just feed it gently, let the tension build and then go the whole hog and drop it at the end of the chapter!
The drama at Azkaban is also fantastically written, with great tension and detail. Also, it's fabulous to see them solving puzzles again, well Hermione at least!
Just simply another fantastic chapter, I'm intrigued by so many different things and without further ado I'm moving onto the next chapter!Author's Response: Your reviews make LOADS of sense. No worries!
I was worried that the transitions flow properly. The format for this story, with the shifts was a real problem. For the first three chapters it was ludicrously easy. then it got hard. REALLY hard. So much so, i nearly dumped the whole tale and started over. So I'm really glad that you think it works.
R/H is my new favorite, non-slash, pairing. LOL! I've really turned them into a bit of a bromance. I have a real ball writing them this way.
Secret story from JKR? Ok, head's swelling! I really liked getting back to the trio doing what they do best and I figured it would've taken them several years after DH before they could get to that point in their lives. That's another reason I never bothered writing a book 8; I wanted to skip ahead a bit and get to the point where they're back to being themselves, without dwelling on the transition to RL. Also, there are SO MANY great book 8's out there, hard to be original.
Even with me skipping a few years ahead, I still take a lot of inspiration from justanothermuggle and siledubghlhase, to name a few.
Flattered I've got you hooked!
Eldy Report Review
Ach! I'm going to write this super super quick cause
I want to carry on reading so excuse the waffle and incomprehensible mess I am about to leave you!
I loved the way you jumped straight in with an action scene :) You always write these so well and it was a great way to kick off the story, and then to swap and give us the build up slowly was another great touch and very well done :)
Two words. BALDY SHORTS! I actually rolled with laughter! I'm so pinching that to use in general conversation haha! ;)
The whole piece is just so smoothly written, it all follows on naturally and makes complete sense, as it always does :) But why do I worry when I read nice happy scenes... Probably because knowing you, you're going to make me cry again later, and boy did you come close with that ending of this chapter, I was so worried for Harry, and you are the only author on here I know who evokes such strong emotions so well.
You've linked the canon in superbly, as always, and it's just so great to know all the background to keep the readers informed :)
The family relationships were spot on, as always, and display some superb writing skills indeed :)
Great links between the time changes, great characterisation, great plot, just perfect if you ask me ;)Author's Response: Waffle excused! LOL!
Hey Lils! this is far from "an incomprehensible mess" Great review! Thanks!
When I first starting writing this tale, I actually had two plot bunnies going at the same time. First, I wanted to do a story about the Battle of the Pitch mentioned in Crusade. But I also had this image of Harry, wounded, stumbling down a lonely country road. I hate writing more than one tale at once, so I combined the two. The result is Pitch as it is now. It also solved a problem I was having, keeping the suspense building in Pitch, because everyone that read Crusade would generally know how he story turns out. However, adding in the "bookend" story line that takes place after Crusade helped give it an air of suspense. Glad you liked it!
Baldy Shorts. I like that too; but I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere else, so I can't take credit. Problem is, I've read so much fic, I can't keep all of my inspiration straight! Regardless, whoever came up with it gave me a really good laugh, too.
Yep, I kinda cut short the happy scene at the Burrow with Harry dying and all. Evil of me...Sorry! But thank you so much for all the praise and this STUPENDOUS review.
Eldy Report Review
Why am I blanking on what exactly happened to Harry in this 2004 storyline? Was it a hidden Crematius Curse left over from a few years earlier?
Anyway, this fic was a lot of fun to read. What I really like is how you actually have built a whole universe of fics, and you have your timeline and everything fitting together in a cohesive way, one big body of work. I really admire that. You apparently don't suffer from the same literary schizophrenia that I do. XD It was good to finally read about the Battle of the Pitch I'd heard referenced in Crusade.
Looking forward to reading the remaining couple of fics - very soon, I promise! :-)
MelanieAuthor's Response: Yep. Harry got hit by a dark object that was cursed. Crematius curse, to be exact. He'd received an anonymous owl, tipping him off that a dark object was hidden in a clearing. the message also contained a picture of the locale, which is what Harry used to Apparate there. He went without a partner (which was stupid) blanketed the area with strong revelio spells which triggered the Crematius. Once he was hurt, he didn't have the strength to Apparate or cast a patronus. He let his gaurd down and it cost him. This backstory is outlined in Chapter 3, during Harry's talk with Death (although we didn't know, at the time, that it was Death he was talking too)
Really glad you enjoyed Pitch; its starting to vy with Crusade as my favorite.
Thanks for the praise of the Crusadiverse. I hadn't planned out all these tales in advance; in fact, I haven't written them in chronological order, as you know. Would've been a lot easier if I had. Its been hard to stay within my own "canon."
I may not suffer from your flavor of "literary schizophrenia", as you put it, but rest assured, I'm more than laiden with my own. LOL!
Melanie, its always a pleasure when you drop by. Really, this was a great surprise. I do hope to see you again and am waiting impatiently for the next installment of "The Morning Waffle," which is thoroughly HYSTERICAL. I HIGHLY recommend it!
Well, I hope to hear from you again soon; there are more Crusadiverse stories yet to be written. Currently I'm toying with a collection of one shots to flesh out the rest of the Guerilla war and I've started to plot out the final Crusadiverse story, which will take place much later in the quartet's lives, in and around the time they become grandparents.
Again, it was great to hear from you and thanks for all the stupendous reviews!
Eldy Report Review
Death!! I love it! That's such a cool touch, actually personifying Death the way it was done in the Tale of the Three Brothers - making the personification "real" in the context of this story.Author's Response: Ah, the Death reveal. I'm so totally psyched that you think that works. I thought it would be great fun. That is, Harry has dodged the old cloak-wearing meany for so long, he's come to collect. In Person. Yikes!!
I also thought it fit well with the Tale of the Three Brothers; it was fun to treat it as if it were a true story and not a parable.
Eldy Report Review
Dear me. Awkwarrrd. XD
I actually love Percy to death. He's my favorite Weasley dude after Ron. He's quite complex, but also very good one-dimensional fodder for humor, as here. As much as I think the guy would have loosened up after DH, maybe I don't think he'd have become quite as frivolous as he was here (Percy + skinny dipping = error, does not compute, contact your service provider... haha... and also, if for some godawful reason I ever stumbled across one of my brothers without clothes on while I also didn't have clothes, let me tell you just how fast I'd be running in the opposite direction... ugh, bad image...) - but anyway, we're in your mind here, not mine! (Your mind, man... that's one spelunking expedition I'm not sure I want to go on...) XD
I must say, though, I don't think I'll ever get tired of the Ron/Hermione trope where a furious argument turns into furious snogging. Sometimes it's a bit over-the-top, but they are an over-the-top couple, and they really just beg you to be almost satirical with them at times.
On to a serious point I actually wanted to make in this review: You really have a knack for coming up with interesting action-centric plot points, crazy spells and magical tactics, etc. I love this thing where the curse is triggered by Revelio. I'm always looking forward to seeing where you go with your plot. Your action-adventure substance is some of the most creative I've read.
MelanieAuthor's Response: Hehehehe.
Percy. I think anyone, once they find the right companion, can do some pretty OOC things. Everyone gets thrown off kilter by love and Percy is no exception. Although he was hesitating introducing Audrey to the fam, given her prodding, he was willing to take a little swimming excursion at what was supposed to be an empty Burrow. Ooops.
As for Ginny's reaction, remember she's the youngest daughter in a family filled with boys. I can't help but imagine that she's gotten more than a little used to being comfortable around her famlies nudity. Think about it. the Burrow ain't that big, very little privacy. This of course begs the question as to why Percy wasn't as inured to this situation as Ginny. Answer: Percy is Percy. LOL! He's got more Prewett in him than Weasley, hence his mortification (and "redification").
The Ron/Hermione fight that turns into an allout snog is one of my favorite parts here. Really really pleased you liked it! There's nothing I find as much fun to read or write than one of their fights, especially if it ends like this (there's a bit more of this kind of thing in Chapter 4).
Thanks so much for the praise of the actiony stuff.
"...some of the most creative I've read."
Wow! Ok, severely swelled head here. Can't thank you enough!
Eldy Report Review
I like how you're structuring this, with the scene involving Harry at the beginning and end of each chapter, and the scene involving earlier events in the middle. Transitioning from one scene to another using the dialogue is a nice touch.Author's Response: Thanks!
It was ridiculously easy to do for the first three chapters. However, by chapter four, the transitions got so difficult to do, I nearly scrapped the whole story and started over from scratch.
I had two different plot bunnies fighting it out in my head. One was of Harry, stumbling down a road wounded. The other was the story of what happened at and just before the Battle of the Pitch. Since I hate working on more than one story at a time I decided to combine the two. The result is the story as it is now.
Eldy Report Review
"Merlin's loaded dice." Bahahahaha.
So I'm here and reviewing - I figured I'd start with book 1 of the Crusadiverse and go in order. Can't tell you how coherent my reviews will be, as it's past the middle of the night and I can't sleep, so what better to do than review? But I'll give it my best! :-D
MelanieAuthor's Response: Hey Mel!!
Didn't expect you, but really glad you came. Coherent, incoherent, makes no difference to me. I'm a review trolip. LOL!
"Merlin's loaded dice" I liked that one too.
Eldy Report Review
Harry’s dying. What? NO!!! No Harry can’t die!!!
Well no really he can’t he’s in the sequel.
But things aren’t looking pretty, he’s spitting up blood and there are voices in his head.
Well there are voices in your head and you aren’t dying.
Too true!! Okay let’s keep reading.
Hehehe Ron and his pie :P He’s always hungry!! The link!!! It’s back haha I had almost forgotten about Ginny and Harry’s happy special alone time in their heads. I wonder how that will come into play in this story. Hmmm…
Harry and the boys are going to gamble!!! Woot!!! Well Harry might not…but eh maybe he’ll change his mind. Where’s the fun in NOT taking chances?!?!
Hermione!!! Oh I’m so happy for her!! I’m glad you wrote this scene because when I was reading Crusade I had been wondering how Hermione got her position.
AGAIN!!! HARRY CAN”T DIE!!!
Lovely chapter as always!! I’m excited to find out what happenes next!!!
P.S. I wrote this review as I was reading so my freakouts should be in order :PAuthor's Response: And thank you for ordering your freakouts. LOL!
Really thrilled to have you reviewing Pitch, and this was a great one.
I wrote this to fill in the back story from Crusade a bit. I wanted to justify how and why Hermione, Ron and Harry were so highly placed in the Ministry at such a young age. This gets addressed more throughout, but Hermione's back story here I thought was key. I'm glad you think it works.
Odd though. The Battle of the Pitch was originally just a plot device in Crusade, a way to justify why the girls were as well trained as Aurors. Now it's its own story. I had great fun writing it and I'm really pleased your enjoying it.
Harry dying? But he's in the sequel...or is it a sequel? Keep in mind, those portions that address Harry stumbling down the road take place two years AFTER Crusade. The parts in between take place two years before Crusade. So, anything's possible.
Eldy Report Review
Re-reading my reviews and your answers. Always eager to get a dialog going with one of the few really good authors on the site. I notice that you do a lot more reviewing than original writing. I am sure the authors appreciate it. I am also learning more how the site works.
I am trying to decide how to post a few things. I have my first story written up past the birth of Lilly, with all the older brother’s of Ginny having their families before Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermione start. I also have a couple of “asides,” one 5 to 6 year old Teddy Lupin’s thoughts as he lives through a few chapters of the main story and learns what “dead” means, another Lilly Luna at 16, at what may if I continue this madness come close to the end of the 2nd of the 2 big stories. Any advice.
Magi. Ah, what can you do with Magi? One theme in the story I am working on is what I see would be the inevitable use of modern technology by the Magi, plus how fantastically handy a little magic would be to Muggle enterprises. Who when building something would not have wanted a saw to cut something longer as well as shorter, on packing things wanted a box stretcher. You run a stamping press and throw away sometimes over half of the metal, recycled it is true but what if you could just add the scrap metal onto the back of the roll.
The other theme is belief, written into my story long before I read your stories and the word Magi. The modern secular world does not believe in resurrection. Christians have been at war with Witches and Wizards. But Witches and Wizards believe in an afterlife. Harry Potter was baptized. Magi came to worship the baby Jesus, and tradition has it that the decedents of the Magi became Christians. Being a Christian and a Magi has to be an extraordinarily awkward thing; I would think that the decedents of the Magi would have to have had their own denomination, to allow them to stay true to who and what they are.
Harry, as close as he has come to death, having met more than once people who have passed on, would I think wrestle with some of these questions.
Can a house elf believe? How can you not allow a sentient being not to believe? “Freedom” for house elves has to be something much harder than freeing human slaves, and we can see how hard even freeing human slaves became. Does anybody else care? I find the struggles to even understand what “freedom” would mean to a house elf fascinating. Somehow in the best of the wizard/house elf relationships there is more than slavery; there is love also. We did not see love in the Malfoy/Dobby relationship, but we did in the Dobby/Harry Potter relationship, and that changed everything.Author's Response: Jet, I fear the breadth of the discussion here does not easily lend itself to reviews/responses both due to space constraints as well as the ToS strictures regarding the parameters of reviews and review responses - that is, reviews are meant to be limited to discussion of the chapter/story at hand, with in reason. Deeper discussions regarding works in progress are required to be addressed in the forums.
To insure neither of us run afoul of the rules, I suggest carrying this discussion on there rather than here.
That said, I tend to shy away from religion in my tales for the same reasons that JKR did; however, that is not to be confused with abhoring faith and a belief in somthing greater than ourselves or a belief in the afterlife. I've always gotten the impression from JKR that she tried to avoid a narrow christian view in favor of a more encompassing "Supreme Being view" compatable to all Magi. Naturally, this view requires belief in an afterlife.
In Pitch I take the view that Harry does not fear dying, having already seen at least a piece of the afterlife and several souls after they crossed over, he knows there's nothing to fear. However, by the same token, he doesn't want to leave an orphaned son behind. Choices. It always comes down to choices.
This is a theme I've taken from JKR and weave repeatedly through all my tales in the Crusadiverse. Incidentally, "The Ultimate Harry Potter and Philosophy" by Irwin, is a great resource to delve into issues such as this; I only wish I'd had it before I began writing as it would've made for wonderful grist for the Cursadiverse.
Elder Report Review
If you start with Ron's constant complaints about not having any money, and add in (as I do) 1917farmgirl's story about the Christmas with no money, you can develop a family that really has been struggling for most of its existence, one of the points that I am trying to develop in my story. I agree that post the Battle of Hogwarts the whole Weasley family should be much more prosperous, Arthur and Percy in important positions in the Ministry. WWW should be prosperous. I can not see Hermione staying in a minor position; she is too brilliant. How you develop her continued cooperation with Harry and Ron is an author’s choice, but you have it working well. I’m not sure I have read many stories that develop the part of Hermione who is brilliant at developing new spells; you do as good a job as anyone.
I know you have read a lot of stories on this site. I find that when I get to a good story and author it is more fun, and vastly more instructive, to read the reviews than to try and find a good story amongst the tripe on the site.
Again I really am amazed at how good you are with the details of the magic, and how inventive. You would expect that Hermione and Harry would make major changes in how the ministry would function. I am curious how long it will take for some of Muggle technology to infiltrate the magi. And I love the word Magi instead of magical people or witches and wizards!
I’ll pick away at your Children’s Crusade series over the next few weeks.
JetAuthor's Response: There were several reasons that Pitch and Crusade take place years after the Battle. First and foremost is that there are so many Book 8's already out there, I found it hard to be original - that said, I am not at all ashamed to take inspiration from some of the great Book 8's (and 9's) I've read. As my old creative writing professor used to say: "In order to write good fiction, you have to read good fiction."
Second, there did not seem to be many that tales out here that catch up with the characters after they had established themselves in their new Post DH world. Third, I really didn't want to have to deal with all the funerals and memorials after the Battle.
A happy consequence of "skipping ahead" is that I can show the Weasleys as they should be post DH - richer, happier and generally doing well. I agree, it seems only logical that their fortunes should turn at this stage of the story.
As for Hermione, given what we know of canon post DH, it stood to reason that, even while she was at DMC she would still be involved with Ron and Harry's line of work. Also, it seemed a logical progression for her to move on to spell development, as well as mastery of spells she may not have "authority" to know - somthing she was fond of doing pre DH as well. Glad you liked the flourish.
I was concerned that putting Hermione in administration only two years after Hogwarts might feel a bit rushed, but I think (Hope) that I filled that potential plot hole with the explanation regarding how riddled (pun intended) the Ministry still is with Death Eater Sympathizers and how few completely loyal people Kingsley has at his disposal.
Thanks for the compliment on the word "Magi." I like it, and its a handy short cut (feel free to appropriate it, if you like - I'm not at all sticky about things like that - find it flattering actually).
As to Muggle technology - I was never that fond of includeing it in my fic, although its absence does make communication difficult. Nonetheless, I'll never say never. It may just end up in a post Crusade story. We'll just have to see.
As usualy, its been a real pleasure hearing from you. Thanks for the great review.
I have been reading 1917 farmgirl's stories. I even have her permission to use her little christmas tale in a story I am writing. So I do not know why it took me so long to get to your stories. Especially since they are good.
1917 farmgirl violates everything I look for in a story. Not cannon, with Fred alive. Takes way too long to update. But they are GOOD! So I keep her ongoing story on my favorite list.
This story and what I have read of your other stories are more like what I look for. Reasonably true to cannon, at least as I know it. Also reasonably true to what I imagine the time right after the war would be. Not all sweetness and light and everything magically OK. Rowling's magic does not work that way. Lots of very hard and dangerous work trying to capture the rest of the death eaters. Ongoing problems with death eater supporters and supporters of the pure blood agenda.
The way you created this story, with flashbacks, is also creative.
More reviews as I re-read your stories.
Oh, I never review a story on the first read. If it is not good enough to re-read it's not good enough for a review.Author's Response: Always a pleasure to hear from a new reviewer, and any friend of the Farmgirl's...She is great isn't she? I count myself lucky to beta for her; she is by far and away they best emotion writer on the site.
I try to stay as close to canon as possible. As I read the epilogue, "All was well" meant that, at that time in their lives, everything had settled down. I find it difficult to beleive it was all "sunshine and roses" immediately after the Battle of Hogwarts. There were too many Death Eaters who had nothing to lose by continuing the fight. In fact, most of them probably would've had little choice but to go underground. Regardless, this set-up was vital to make Crusade believable.
But before I get ahead of myself, I am deathly curious as to what order you're reading (or have read) these tales.
Frankly, I think they work in just about any order, (Crusade was written first), but I'd always wondered if they read better if taken in chronological order.
The flashback sequences were devilishly hard to seamlessly meld into the story. It became so difficult, in fact, that I almost scrapped the format and started over. In retrospect, I'm glad I stuck with it. Thats a long way of saying, Thanks!
Flattered I'm getting a "second read" from you and hope to hear from you soon. Us older males are few and far between out here. We gotta stick together.
Elder Report Review
And here we go with the final chapter! Before I launch into this last review, I must apologize for how late I am in giving the last two. I know you know how busy life was, but I still feel badly. And I feel especially bad after reading the praise you heap on me in here. *blushes* Don't listen to him, folks. All I do is find the odd spelling or punctuation mistake here and there. The genius of these tales is all Eldy.
Now, on with the review.
ARGH!!! Death just makes me so mad! Can I kill him? Oh, er...guess not... The whole conversation Death has been having with him was just to distract him from remembering about the cloak, wasn't it. That's not fair!
Hm. I sense real life frustration in those first few paragraphs. Ever had to go in on a Sat. to sigh paperwork, Eldy? LOL.
Had to laugh again at the food conversation. Boys and their stomachs: one of the constants of the universe.
And giggling insanely at the "Rupert" bit. I know, I giggled the first time around as well.
And I have to say, once again, I'm very, very impressed with your brilliance for the Zach Smith bit. Bringing him in, have it opposite what happened in Crusade. Just very, very brilliant.
I surely hope Audrey knows what she's getting into. Although, I have a feeling she'll do just fine.
Poor Percy - always the butt of the jokes. Someday, he's gonna prank them all and it will be earthshattering.
Glad to see Bill and Fleur again. I do like the oldest Weasley.
AH, you threw in a mention of Charlie! Cool!
Yes, where ARE George and Angelina? *hands on hips* Even though I KNOW where they are, having read this before, I still have to say it, because...well...I'm me. Hehehehe And I must say, the thought of ordering tea at a sporting event sorta boggles my mind.
Yeah, Oliver! I love it when characters come back! Such good times! And Oliver, I'm sure they'd root for you, but they don't want to be bat-bogeyed to death. I absolutely LOVE Bill's response to him. So classic. Bravo!
And a brilliant nod to your House Cup piece. Which is in and of itself brilliant.
I just love Arthur getting distracted by Muggle things. He's such a fun character!
And now the other shoe starts to drop. Too many Muggles. Good thing Ron is paying attention for once.
Oh, I'd forgotten Luna did commentary for a while. Those were good times. I'll have to go re-read that part!
Ugh...I can feel the tension rising. Harry, listen to Ron!
And then it all goes to heck...
And a wonderfully evil move to block apparition and raise tensions that much higher! And I just adore Ron's devotion to Hermione.
I really hate the thought of all the innocent people dying in this part of the story. I know, it's just a story, but it makes me sad.
Handy thing that link is.
Okay, sorry I haven't been commenting as much now but I'm completely sucked back into this story. GRIPPING! But I have to say, the line about Bellatrix's wand again spitting death gave me chills again. Wow!
YEAH! GEORGE! Okay, I'm done now...
GO WEASLEY WOMEN! And I agree with Harry completely "Bless the Weasleys!"
(Nods to the wonderful close of the Great Broom Plot Hole.)
Yaxley is such a coward.
AWWW, the last scene on the pitch with Ginny and Harry had me tearing up a bit. Nice job! And then to switch back to the later scene with Ginny finding Harry just in time! FINALLY! Again, thank heavens for the bond.
BRAVO, Eldy! This was a masterpiece. And I'm so glad I got to read it again. Thanks for the shout out at the end, although it really wasn't needed. Anyway, this was excellent work and I can't wait until you have time to give us the next Eldy Tale!Author's Response: Now, I should respond point by point to your magnificent review (especially your pointing out the different take on Zack here as opposed to his characterization in Crusade, which is one of my favorite flourishes) but instead, I think I'm gonna tell a little story to my constant readers.
Folks, the Farmgirl has this bad habit of going all humble when I thank her for her help on this story and claiming that she didn't do much. That, of course, overlooks the fact that if it hadn't been for a chat session we had about four months ago, this story never would've even existed.
However, most importantly, the Farmgirl pointed out a HUGE plot hole in this chapter. But let me back up.
There were a lot of complex pieces to the last chapter, which is quite long by my standards, (nearly as long as the first short story I wrote for this site). And I kept having to back up and re read the summary I give of this Battle in "Strategy and the Ecstasy" in Crusade to make sure I kept continuity. Then I'd tweak, and re write, back and fill, add characters and flourishes and then, finally, I sent it off to the Farmgirl.
I was rather proud of myself; thought I'd put together a real winner, caught all the problems and hitches. So as I was patting myself on the back, and nearly breaking my arm in the process, I got the Farmgirl's edits. I'm reading through them, making corrections here and there, laughing at some of the jokes she threw in (always does that, cracks me up), when we get to the part where Harry realizes he's got to get up in the tower to kill the warder. This is what she says in her notes to me:
"Harry, you are on a Quidditch pitch with downed players. Steal a broom and either go help her or go get the bad guy in the tower! Or if you can't think to at least do that, get George to build a homemade bomb for you and throw it at the blasted tower!"
Ooops. Here I've got Harry, the youngest Seeker in a century, standing on a Quidditch Pitch, trying to find a way to get up to the top of the tower, and it NEVER occured to me that maybe Harry might just grab one of the brooms lying around. Or that maybe just blasting the tower would be an easier way to solve the problem.
I was dropped on my head as a child, did I mention that?
So, I added the bit about the brooms all being broken and that blasting the tower wasn't an option because the announcer was essentially a human shield.
So that's the tale of the Massive Broom Plot Hole. Thanks to the Farmgirl, I was able to fill that thing in and keep everyone from going "Well, that's pretty stupid. But, I guess it makes sense since Eldy was dropped on his head as a child."
This is just one of the many ways she's helped make this tale so much better than it would've been.
Thanks, Farmgirl, for all your help and this magnificent review.
Now, where's that next chapter of Healing for me to Beta before Aurorofthelight hexes us both to Hampshire?
Eldy Report Review
You know, I'm kinda glad (although I'm sure you aren't) that I waited this long to review. It meant I had an excuse to go and read this brilliant tale all over again, AND have the fun of it feeling like it was the first time. And I must say, every time I read something of yours I'm struck again with exactly how talented you are. Not kidding, Eldy, your writing puts many of us to shame. :)
Now, to comment on the actual chapter. I shall be making comments as I read along so I don't forget anything I want to say. If things seem jumbled, well...deal with it. LOL.
The opening lines about him not being able to walk anymore simply because his legs stopped working were very good. And Mr. CAPSLOCK MAN is making me mad, all over again! Makes me want to sic Fluffy on him. I do love Harry's stubbornness and tenacity.
And, side note, I totally agree. At least one of the grandkids should have been named Arthur.
Now, Kingsley. Poor, poor Kingsley. (And love the return of the Grangers.) When Molly Weasley decides to take someone on as a project...well, you'd better either hide well or give in. I fully expect to see you marrying him off to some witch of Molly's finding in one of these later crusadeverse stories you know...
Loved the line about who was in charge. Hehehehe
I really do love this scene with King and Arthur. A lot. So much so that I can completely overlook your little break with POV, LOL. Seriously, though. You should wrote the two of them more often.
And stupid, stupid prophet. You need to have Fred and George hex the press into oblivioun, or at least mix all the letters up so it only prints knock, knock jokes.
(And, as a side note that I've thought of as reading this, are you ever gonna let Harry be at ease in this verse? I know he's a Auror and will always chase the bad guys, but will the war ever officially be over for him?)
*Cries for lost Order of the Phoenix*
I've said it a million times and I'll say it again - no one can write dueling and action sequences like you. *bows*
And I love the brother sister banter between Ron and Ginny. Such an overlooked area in fanfic.
The pillow fight was hysterical, if short. I miss the times they could just be silly sometimes.
GO RON! Finally one up on Hermione! Wait, I need my journal - gotta write this down!
Stupid, evil, nasty, MEANIE Death! I do hope you let Ginny deck him... LOL.
GREAT stuff, bro! Enjoyed it completely reading it again.Author's Response: Farmgirl!
Great to hear from you, and no worries about the wait. I figured I'd hear from you before 2011. LOL!
"CAPSLOCK man," I like that! Kind of an "X Files" type nickname for him. I know how much he cheeses you off, but, as you know he does serve a vital purpose.
I take most of my Weasleyish inspiration from you, SD and JAM. While I'll never write them as well as you three, I do appreciate your praise.
The Arthur/Kingsley talk was key (even tho I did have to break Harry-POV to get it in there). It was vital for two reasons. First, I had to explain why Harry and Ron were running the Aurors, and why the Auror Corps was so young. Second, SOMEONE needed to acknowledge the great sacrifices the extended Weasley clan had made throughout the war. Arthur and Molly deserved that and who better than King to say it?
"You need to have Fred and George hex the press into oblivioun, or at least mix all the letters up so it only prints knock, knock jokes."
What a great idea for a oneshot!
Thanks for the praise of the dueling - I always have a blast writing those scenes. But, I really think I love the pillow fight and banter parts of this chapter the best. Glad you liked that, and Ron finally getting one up on Hermione. Hehehe.
Thanks for this great review! It was definitely worth the wait.
TEW: Can't get enough. I'm reading the BotP again. Love this story. It's one of the best fanfics out in the HP universe. Waiting to read more of your genius...PWAuthor's Response: Hey PW!
Thanks for dropping by again. I'm still on hiatus, and to make matters worse, my computer blew its illumination tube back in September and I've been waiting a month now for a new part. That's effectively put me out of action - using my blackberry to keep up with HPFF, but writing's not an option.
Never fear. I'll be back eventually.
Eldy (AKA TEW) Report Review
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