Dose Seamus hav a wrapsut? :Lx lved itAuthor's Response: haha.that would be awesome!! (: thank you so much for the lovely review. i am so pleased to see that you enjoyed this story! i had a lot of fun writing it!! (: thanks again for your positive feedback. Report Review
Okay so I am going to start off with WOW and I dislike you at the present because I have tears running down my face... Let me collect myself for a few minutes and I will be back.
There we go. :) All better. You have no idea - well you porbably do but - how sad and emotional your ending really is. I creid. Like cried like Full on bawled. I felt so sorry for Dean , I just wanted to wrap him up in a tight ball and cuddle him to death.
I noticed a few times, though they where minor and I nly noticed them because I got a little lost with my reading and went back over them, so it's nothing glaring, but you went in and out of past tense and present tense a little bit, it was nothing major though and your story still flowed really well.
Now on the happoer note, I now love Dean/Luna. Yes I love Dean/Luna all thanks too you ^.^ I think the way you write this in first person and coming from Dean's point of view is really good.
I also like the fact you mixed things up and went for an underloved character, I myself adore Seamus - Your main character best friend :P - && thought Dean was really in character here, taking it from my own reading experience. Also, because we don't know much about Dean it sort of gave you the oppurtunity to have a bigger explad on what you wanted Dean to be like and I think you portrayed him quite fetchingly.
I loved how you explained the train scene with the kiss, I thought that was rather cute and had me going 'naw' ^.^
10/10. ;) xx
Forum Name: MyMyMiss
House: Slytherin.Author's Response: I'm sorry you cried! :( I'm so glad I found you a new pairing and also that you think I wrote this story very well. I've always found that when I cry while reading a story it is seriously amazing and the writer is too so to be perceived as that sort of author is truly incredible. I never thought I could be that way!
I want to give you a HUGE thank you for all of your faithful, committed, and honest reviews. I'm savoring ever one of them. I will not forget you or how happy your reviews have made me feel!! (: Report Review
I like it :D (ada sd asda sdasd why do you have to write 20 characters?))Author's Response: haha I have no idea!! but thank you so much for the wonderful review!! (: I really appreciate your support and am very pleased to hear that you enjoyed this read! Report Review
That made me sad. I mean, I appreciate the canon, but the ending stilll made me sad.
I did love it though. I wish more people had caught on to Dean and Luna.Author's Response: thank you so much for the purely wonderful review! (: i agree, i certainly wish more people accepted Dean/Luna and made a go of it!! and this made me very sad to write, but i appreciate the fact that you felt emotion. honestly, that is all i can ask for with my writing! thank again for the lovely review! i appreciate it so much!! (: Report Review
This was BRILLIANT! Truly, it was.
I read this quickly and loved every moment of it.
I even had TEARS in my eyes. I very rarely cry at fanfic.
And even though I've never been a Dean/Luna shipper, I actually see the appeal to it. A great great read. Excellent work. 10/10 :)Author's Response: thank you SO much for the incredible review. this honestly put tears in MY tears. i appreciate your time and effort in reading and reviewing so much. thanks for your support! i wasn't sure what i was doing when i wrote this story but i'm certainly glad you thought it turned out well! (: thanks again!! (: Report Review
This was so creative, and poetic; I really enjoyed reading it. I loved when you said, "I fell in love with her...and I'll admit it was the easiest thing I've ever done". When I read that I just had one of those, "Wow" moments, it was so accurate. I would have liked to see more descriptions, the mood set a bit more maybe. I think they would have been really good, because you have a knack for dispersing really beautiful lines throughout the story, like "a woman who shined brighter than the sun and dreamed wider than the seas..." so beautiful. The portrayals were really good too:)Author's Response: thank you so much!! i'm really glad you thought such positive thoughts about this story. i could never thank you enough for the joy you've given me right now! THANKS! (: i hope you have a wonderful day! Report Review
i like this.
because i mean... i sooo shipped them while reading DH but then she marries rolf.. and ruins things :(
so it was refreshing to see a way things turned out for deanAuthor's Response: thank you! i shipped them too throughout DH and am terribly sad things never worked out. i'm really pleased to see that you enjoyed this! (: thank a lot for the lovely review and i wish you a very happy day! Report Review
Hi, there. So... this was a requested review, but it was from more than a month ago. My sincerest apologies; I kept becoming busy, and life kept getting in the way.
Anyway. The story.
I liked it. It was really sweet, and while I don't usually read Dean/Luna (Neville/Luna all the way!), I liked it. (:
There were some grammar issues, and a lot of runons, but it wasn't anything that majorly detracted from the story.
Luna... she doesn't really sound like herself, in this. I can't see her pretending to be with Dean if she didn't want to, and some of her dialogue was out of character. I mean, we never really see her in this situation in the series, but it just doesn't seem like how she would react. To me.
You tell a lot of things, rather than showing. I could see this easily being expanded into a short story, if you wished, because I know I'd be interested to see more of the events fleshed out.
All that aside, this was a really sweet and overall sad one-shot. I liked reading it. (:
-JasmineAuthor's Response: thank you very much for the in depth and helpful review. i really appreciate it and definitely think your ideas are fantastic and exact. i would love to improve this and, if i do, i think your suggestions will be what i work off of. thanks again for all your help! (: Report Review
Aw, so cute! :)
I was a Duna shipper at one point, til canon killed it, but I still really liked this! The thing I would work on with this piece is trying to rely more on showing than telling. I like all the little stories Dean has, but I'd have liked a better transition between each one, as opposed to him talking a little too much between every scene.
Otherwise, so cute!Author's Response: i understand where you are getting at. thank you very much for the wonderful suggestion! i'll definitely take it seriously! Report Review
This is soo cute! There were a few spelling errors here and there, but it was really original and I liked that it is from Deans' point of view. Good job!Author's Response: thank you very much! i'm really very pleased to see that you enjoyed this story. ahhh...mistakes? makes sense. it's quite difficult to catch them all when it's my own work. thank you very much for pointing that out thought. i'll definitely look into them.
i really appreciate you taking the time to review this story and could never thank you enough. i hope you have an absolutely wonderful day! (: Report Review
Hello, silverink from the forums here with your review :)
This was so sweet and adorable. The entire story. I love your interpretation of Dean-- he's so sweet and insecure and scared. Who would've thought? This is why I love minor characters. You can interpret them in so many ways. I like how it's written-- It's like some kind of flashback, and he's retelling the entire story of their lives together. I positively adore the last paragraph. It was perfect for the story. Another thing I adore is how Dean was in love with Luna and all and how he described her was so wonderful. Excellent job. The fact that Luna wasn't in love with him the way he was with her was perfect for canon, as was the situation in which she began to fall in love with Rolf. And I thought it was great that you stayed so close to canon, it made everything seem to fit together in a story like this as if it were a kind of puzzle piece. While it never said that Luna and Dean were together in the book, it was indeed remarkable how JKR provided us with the perfect circumstances to pair the two, what with being imprisoned together and the Shell Cottage thing.
One thing that I wasn't so fond of was how this whole story was rather jumpy-- I kept getting confused. I know he was meant to be telling it and looking back, but there were a few stray paragraphs about what their relationship meant between the events and after those paragraphs you would go on to explain what happened and I was confused for a few seconds. Maybe that's my fault, I don't know, but some things just... For example, the paragraph beginning with, "My feelings for Luna definitely aren't what they were..." and then you explained how she was remarkable in the Wizarding World. It was kind of placed in the middle of the story when it seems more suitable for the end. That was the only thing I was confused about, the flow. Oh, and this sentence puzzled me: "But the next year I would realize just how blissful I could be." I'm not quite sure what you meant by that.
Anyway, here are some very slight grammar mistakes that certainly did not take away from the story but that you should consider fixing nonetheless:
--"I first actually met Luna..." I think it should be "I actually first met Luna". Or I could be wrong, because depending on what you meant by that... It kind of seems like an awkward arrangement of words though.
--"oh I was a blubbering mess!" There should be a handy little comma after "oh" ;)
--"I wasn't' sure if..." Probably just a typo, but the apostrophe after the 't' shouldn't be there.
All in all, this was an adorable little romance story an I quite liked it. The emotions of the characters were very well written, and once again I adore your characterization of Dean :hearts: And you managed to keep Luna in character, too, which must have been difficult. She always seemed like a difficult one to write in my opinion. Good job and I'm sure you'll do well in the challenge :)
silver inkAuthor's Response: thanks for everything!! the thoughts, the comments, the wishes...ahhh! i really appreciate you taking the time to review this for me. i'll check up on the grammar mistakes you pointed out. also, i get where you are going with the flow of this piece. it was very jumpy but that was simply a part of the style of writing i was aiming for. it works for some and not for others. i understand how that can change things. (:
thanks again for your help! i wish you an amazing day!! Report Review
"I wanted to wrap myself into a ball and roll down a mountain. Luna, Iím sure, desired to fly."
That was my favorite quote. I think that somehow summed up their relationship so perfectly and describes their differences as well as why they work together so well. I also loved the parallel you drew between them being tied up and laying next to each other and then them doing the same thing months later in a different setting. Wow...everything about the story- especially the unrequited love- truly stands out in my mind. Great job! Thanks for participating in my challenge! thanks so much for sharing this with me! If you get the chance, please check out my own stories here on HPFF! Please check the forum topic periodically to stay tuned for updates regarding the challenge!
LLAuthor's Response: well, thanks very much for the challenge, my friend!! i will definitely stay tuned in with the challenge thread. thanks for the wonderful review!! Report Review
Hi! JohnnyPickAlot from the forums.
Firstly, I would like to say how beautiful this one-shot is. You wrote it superbly and your characterization of Luna was right on. I really felt for Dean to have to go through Luna's everchanging ways but felt that he was lucky to have someone so straightup and blunt as her.
I really liked the plot and overall, 10/10. Well done. :D
One little spelling error, in the beginning you spelt Ollivander without the 'd'. :]
Other than that, great. :DAuthor's Response: thank you so much! i'm really glad that you liked this. also, thanks for pointing out that error. i'll fixt hat up right away. thanks again for taking your time to review this. i really really appreciate it!!
(: Report Review
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