Reading Reviews for Diary Drama
  
78 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Fawkes394 Albus and an aftermath

9th January 2013:
I really enjoyed reading this story. I love your characters, specially Lily and James.

 Report Review

Review #2, by Fawkes394 Prefect Patrols, Pranking and Planning

8th January 2013:
I've really liked your story so far. I've always pictured Al being really similar to Harry, and I've never thought he'd end up being such an idiot, but it's fun to see him act differently. Hugo sounds like a little kid to me, he's kind of cute, though idiotic. And the prank was genius, I laughed too much reading it. : )

 Report Review

Review #3, by Ias98 Misjudged Maps

23rd November 2012:
I was laughing so hard about the argument on the insults

You're an absolutely amazing writer,you should know that

 Report Review

Review #4, by Helen Keller Fidgety Frogs

15th April 2012:
Wow, Al is such a jerk. And this Professor Bell guy... Why hasn't he been sacked? It has to be illegal to force a student to take that kind of potion, McGonagall flipped shit on Moody for using transfiguration on Malfoy in book 4 so why should a potion be any different?

Author's Response: Yes, he kind of is :)
And that's a good one. I don't think I'd even thought of that. Let's just say he got extremely lucky this time. And he probably doesn't go around force-feeding his students their own potions. No one complained this time around, but I bet that would be different if he tried to do it another time. If that makes sense...? :)


 Report Review

Review #5, by Flavia Albus and an aftermath

10th April 2012:
Aw! This was a really nice ending to the story. I've been slowly reading this story over the last week and I really enjoyed it. I'm surprised it doesn't have more reviews because it's really quite a sweet, funny story. I thought your characterisation was really good, and Rose was really funny. I thought the story arc between Rose and Lorcan was really great too...you paced it really well. So yeah, well done and I'll definitely be keeping this on my favourites list.

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you think so! :) And that's great to hear. Thanks for all the compliments! I'm very glad you liked this :D

Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #6, by hiddenbyhair Vengeance and verification

18th March 2012:
cant remeber what ive said in these but it's stil amazing!!!

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you think so! :D

 Report Review

Review #7, by xjamesandlilyx Vengeance and verification

18th March 2012:
I LOVE IT!
Please, please, please update soon. - I can't wait!

Author's Response: Thank you! :D I'm very glad you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #8, by xjamesandlilyx Keen kin and killjoys

11th March 2012:
I really, really love this story. I'm serious.
I like Rose, Lorcan, (Albus not so much because he's kind of a jerk), and everybody. (Natasha's such an idiot!) You're a really, really good writer too - please upload soon? I've added it to my favorites(:

Author's Response: Aw, thank you :) I'm really glad you like it so far! And that's great to hear too :)
I'll probably update again on Saturday, as that's sort of become my regular update day for this story.
Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #9, by hiddenbyhair Brothers and Breakdowns

27th February 2012:
one quick question. what happened to quiditch?

Author's Response: Quidditch doesn't really play a big role in this story, seeing as Rose, the main character, is not really into it. In my head, this story also started around the start of the year, so I think the first Quidditch match hasn't taken place yet. It still exists, of course, but it's not really important for this story :) Hope that clears it up!

 Report Review

Review #10, by tripping over isolines Impersonation issues

11th July 2011:
is it strange that i still don't trust lorcan, and that i'm sort of rooting for scorpius/rose?

ah, i'm just always like that. though you're making me love lorcan and rose despite my bias :)

great chapter!

Author's Response: Hm, I'm not sure. If you feel like you've got a good reason not to trust him... Hahaha :D There will be some Scorpius/Rose interaction later on, but not all too much. I'm afraid their relationship isn't really going anywhere in this story :) (So I hope you'll grow to love Rose with someone else than Scorpius!)
Thank you for your review! :)


 Report Review

Review #11, by cocoxoxo Impersonation issues

10th July 2011:
Yay! Lorcan finally made a move! I came across your story today and just kept reading. It's amazing- I love Rose's fiery temper and the trouble she gets herself into. I've seen Albus portrayed in many different ways, but never like this. He's always the good guy. Update quickly!

Author's Response: Yes, he has! :D Thank you, I'm glad you liked it so far! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond/update, though.
Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #12, by theupsidedownquibbler Rose: rambling and rational

25th May 2011:
Did Al steal her wand? To break the spell? Or to try and figure it out? Because I feel like that must be what happened! I'm so glad you updated! It was a good addition to this story. Please update quickly, again?

Author's Response: Ah, you're close :) It'll all be revealed in the next chapter. I'm glad you liked the chapter, thanks! I'll try to update quicker this time!
Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #13, by Forever Brothers and Breakdowns

22nd April 2011:
above, when Rose and Francis were talking to Natasha about Mark, it didnt really seem like the way teenage girls usually talk. that dialogue might want to be edited. also, some of the advice seemed more like a mother (or even grandmother!) talking to younger girls. just that scene seemed a little awkward and uncomfortable, as well as unrealistic, for me.

Author's Response: Oh, okay. I suppose that makes sense. Thanks for pointing that out :)

 Report Review

Review #14, by HermGinnyHarryRon Hilarious Howler and hesitation

3rd April 2011:
Hahaha, this is good ;D I love the Howler bit :) xx 10/10! xxx

Author's Response: Thanks! :D I'm glad you liked that!

 Report Review

Review #15, by agingerrose Hilarious Howler and hesitation

31st March 2011:
why does it say eyebrow alot in random spots?

Author's Response: That was part of the April Fool's joke, as I'm sure you already found out :)

 Report Review

Review #16, by catalina Brothers and Breakdowns

2nd March 2011:
that was good plas add more i want the sleez bag Erin vane to go down in flames or humalited your choice

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! :)
Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #17, by HermGinnyHarryRon James' Jokes and Joyous Jitters

16th February 2011:
Excuse meee, IS ANYONE HOME?! No, thought not, i'll just leave a message:
Pretty pretty pretty please, UPDATE SOON! I'v been waiting for WEEKS!!! I love this story! I NEED moreee ;D Pwetty pweaseee? with a snitch oj top?
Lovin' it xx
HERMIE xxx
PS: When my first chapter has been checked could you pwetty pweasee read/review? It would mean alott ;D
PPS: It is called Roxanne Weasley...Violence, Complications and...WHY ME?!

HERMIE

Author's Response: You're right, I haven't been on the site much these past few weeks, but sometimes RL is just too much, and I sort of needed a break. Yes, I'm posting again, but when juggling four WIPs, I can't constantly update only one of them - that's not exactly fair. There's a new chapter coming up; maybe around this time next week, maybe somewhat later.

 Report Review

Review #18, by writeyourheartout Clever cousins and confidential conversations

24th January 2011:
Hello again! Sorry I took so long! I'll get right to it!

"Deciding that it's no use trying to eat *some (any) more lunch"

"My least favourite group of people is sitting prominently in the middle, and Lorcan is sitting somewhere at the side of their group, looking as if he's part of the group and not part of the group at the same time." - So this is a perfect example of wordiness because if you read that sentence again, you used the word 'group' four times! I think you could easily either condense this sentence to become less wordy, or you could at least find replacement words so it's not so repetitive. That line really stood out to me, and it's right at the top, so watch out for those!

I really liked the choice to use a flashback sequence in this chapter! It was very effective in raising my interest because at the end of the last chapter we were excited to see how Rose and Lorcan would interact in their first real scene together, but then you started the chapter with a scene taking place after that moment we'd been looking forward too, only to go back to it! ...Did that make sense? LOL It was clever - perked my interest immediately!

So I remember you mentioned that you were a little concerned with Lorcan maybe being too similar to Remus, so I wanted to say that you put a good distance between them in that flashback. It's clear that Lorcan gets tense quicker and bites back if need be - he doesn't have that need to be liked by everyone the way Remus does, so you've given them distinctions. And even though his quick-temper is a flaw, it's good to see that the love interest isn't perfect. Your characters are truly flawed and it's refreshing to read about!

Then we get to this little Al-Rose spat: Alright, as far as all of these threats between Al and Rose about opening the diary versus giving back that diary, well, I really think that you need to raise the stakes! Rose saying she'll simply tell everyone that Al tried to break into her diary is hardly going to effect him at all, and Al promising to annoy her until she tells him how to break into the diary hardly seems worth anything because Al already annoys her all the time! Neither of them would feel threatened by the others words at all! So there was no real tension there because the stakes weren't high enough, you know?

And that actually leads me to another question: Why exactly are these boys so adamant on reading Rose's diary? I think most boys would give up on trying to pry into some chicks diary simply for a laugh if it took this much work to get into it! Unless if the boys have reason to believe that her diary holds some huge secret that they absolutely need to know? Because otherwise I feel like there's no need for them to be fighting this hard, and if there is something special about the diary that is indeed vital to the boys, I think you should introduce that idea really soon so us readers understand why this diary is important at all to these guys, because right now it just seems like a really trivial dilemma to be carrying an entire storyline on. Again, higher stakes!

"Tell us how to open the diary and be spared, or don't tell us." -That's not even a threat, so why would Al think Rose would be upset by that?- "But we will find out, I can promise you that much, Rose. And when we do, we will be terribly annoyed, irritated and frustrated." -Why are they gonna be so upset After they get the diary opened? Wouldn't they be relieved? Excited? Anxious? Feeling victorious and clever for winning?- "You know what will happen then." As a matter of fact, I don't, but I get the idea." -Maybe Rose gets the idea, but I don't think I do... This paragraph in general is just confusing and completely non-threatening. Higher stakes!

This is just an observation, but Lysander seems a little dense for Ravenclaw if he can't even hold a book right side up... lol

I thought it was really clever of you to have Al use Lorcan as the diary keeper without Lorcan's knowledge, knowing that Rose would never jump him. That added a nice new layer to the story!

I was SO happy to finally get some background on the Al and Rose relationship this chapter! Really, it's that history that makes your characters more three dimensional and realistic, not to mention that entire section is the best writing I've seen of yours so far! Yay for description, history, and details from an uninterrupted Rose! Finally we get to see some real development, and if you ever go back and edit your previous chapters, look to that as your guide, because it's simple and straight forward, but it provided this great depth to the story that had been missing in all the early chapters.

I liked the interaction with Natasha, and I liked that you chose the boy she's crushing on to be outside of the group of main four guys. It's a nice subplot to start up and it adds a separate layer to the story so it's becoming fuller and more dynamic!

I think the Hugo idea was another clever move of yours, but the execution was a bit confusing - did Hugo hear Rose telling Lily how to open the diary? Or were you just using that as an example of something he potentially could have heard, had it come up in conversation between them? Lily's dialogue at the end is just a little too wordy that I got confused between what was the example and what was the reality.

As a whole I really think that this is your best chapter yet! You finally gave us some history, a Rose/Lorcan scene, a future scenario for them, a new subplot, and the writing showed great improvement! There's still some bumps and moments of confusion, but you're really coming along and it's great to see your progress from chapter to chapter!

I hope this review was helpful and I'll see you in chapter 6! Keep up the good work! :-)

xTanya

Author's Response: I am so sorry it took me so long to reply! :( So of course you shouldn't apologise for taking long to review; I'm just as bad :P

Ah, thanks for pointing that out. It seems that no matter how often I read those chapters, there will always be certain mistakes in them. As soon as I'm done replying, I'll edit them out, so thank you! :)

I can see what you mean *cringes* That is pretty bad indeed. As said, I'll do something about it asap! :)

I'm glad you liked the flashback sequence; it's good to hear it perked your interest :D Thank you!

Oh, that's good to know :) I'm glad Lorcan isn't too similar to Remus, and you're right - he doesn't have the compulsive need (well, sort of) to be liked because he doesn't have such a big secret to hide. The weird thing is, I didn't really plan on him having a bit of a temper, he just... suddenly had one, haha. But Rose knows now that Lorcan isn't as perfect as she thought he was indeed :) I'm glad you like that.

I can see your point there. Al and Rose are a bit... weird. I think they just don't have much else to threaten each other with, as pathetic as that might be. Yes, they might reveal the other's secrets (if they're there) or start a duel but I don't think either of them wants to go there (yet). But I'll see what I can do about it :)

The boys' reason for wanting to read Rose's diary is pretty trivial, actually. You're right, they could just give up and give Rose her diary back, but - to Albus, that would mean giving in and losing to Rose, and he doesn't want that. So they keep trying to read it, if only to irk Rose.

Well, the threat continued beyond that, actually. Rose figures they'll just read her diary and tell everyone about what's in there. As for the annoyed (etc.) thing - since Rose doesn't lend them a hand, it'll take longer for the boys to open the diary and that's what they'll be annoyed about - the fact that it took them so much time. They will, indeed, feel very victorious if they manage to open the diary :)

Ah yes, Lysander... you're right, he's a bit dense, but maybe he just wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing. I don't think he holds his books upside down very often ;)

I'm glad you like that little layer, thank you! :D

Wow, thank you! I'm very glad you liked that description so much! That's really great to hear, so thanks!

I'm also glad you liked the interaction with Natasha :) I think having Natasha crushing on one of those four boys would've only complicated the whole story, so I figured I'd better pick someone else (though I do sort of worry about too many OCs now, but oh well).

No, Hugo was telling his friends that Al had made him follow Rose around, so Hugo might hear Rose tell Lily how to open her diary - Hugo hasn't heard anything yet, though. I'm sorry if that wasn't clear.

Thank you, that really is great to hear :D I'm very glad you think so :)
And yes, this was certainly very helpful!

Thank you very much for your review!!


 Report Review

Review #19, by liza_potter James' Jokes and Joyous Jitters

22nd January 2011:
Is Lorcan really with Erin? Or is he somewhere else? It doesn't seem like him, and I hope it turns out to be something else, but you never know. I was so convinced Lorcan would never do that, but now... I guess I'll have to keep reading!

On a side note, I just noticed all of the chapter titles were alliterated. The title of the story, too, come to think of it. I just thought that was so, so clever of you!

I'm really curious as to what Mark will do. I hope he doesn't take up Erin's 'offer'. Boys can be so superficial sometimes. Natasha seems like such a sweet girl, too.

I suppose I'll see what happens next! Awesome chapter! :)

Author's Response: Well, you'll have to wait and see, right? ;) I'm not saying anything :P

Yes, they are! I'm so glad you noticed! (I have no clue if many people notice, but I figured it'd be fun. Even though it gets harder and harder to come up with titles after a while (I don't want to use the same letter more than once))

Ah, Mark... boys are superficial alright. He'll make up his mind... some time in the future, I reckon.

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #20, by liza_potter Lily, a letter and lacking luck

22nd January 2011:
Somehow, I knew it would be James! Ooh, his ideas would be so interesting...

Rose's first fight with Lorcan! Dun dun dunnn. :P I really don't think he would do that to Al; I think it's just Rose blowing it out of proportion. Still, I hope they make up soon! Patrolling is going to be very awkward now, I bet.

I like the subplot of Natasha and Mark. Actually, at first, I thought she liked Al. xD Haha. That was before she told Rose about Mark. But yay for good subplots! Let's see how the conversation with Mark goes...

Author's Response: Well, that was a good guess! Hopefully you'll like what he ultimately comes up with - I had some trouble coming up with something :S

Yes, you can very well call it their first fight... it certainly won't be their last, sadly. But Rose it very good at blowing things out of proportion indeed - it's something I like writing, haha. But yes, patrolling would be very awkward now. They'll try to make the best of it, though.

I'm glad you liked that little subplot! I considered doing that, but I felt that this might be at least a little more original... not sure if that worked out :P

Again, thanks for your review!


 Report Review

Review #21, by liza_potter Prefect Patrols, Pranking and Planning

22nd January 2011:
Very creative prank! Haha. That entire scene was funny. ^_^ Ooh, I can't wait to find out who this 'expert' is. Maybe a cousin? Or an OC?

Ahh, good thing you explained why Bell seems to hate Lorcan and Lysander. Otherwise, I would've kept bugging you about it. :P Haha.

More Rose/Lorcan! Yay! I really like when they patrol together- whenever the two of them interact together, I know it'll be funny. ;) And some great character development, as well.

Author's Response: Haha, thank you! I'm glad you liked the prank - and the rest of the scene, too. Well, you seem to have already found out who the expert is...

Now I'm very glad I explained that little mystery ;) I usually don't like it myself when pieces of information in stories aren't given, so I couldn't possibly do the same thing here :P

:D I'm glad you like the Rose/Lorcan bits so far. Rose just can't seem to behave normally around him.

Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #22, by liza_potter Fidgety Frogs

22nd January 2011:
I enjoyed this chapter. Haha. I was a bit surprised Hugo didn't actually make an appearance, but the list about him was very funny. :)

I didn't think the Potions project was a cliche! There always seems to be some sort of Potions accident, but yours was rather creative and original. I loved how everyone thought she was crazy for carrying around a frog all day. Though I'm confused as to why the Potions Professor seems to hate Lorcan (and Lysander, too, of course) so much.

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I sure enjoyed writing it, too ^^ Hugo was supposed to make an appearance, but then, the scene in Potions class turned out longer than I had expected, so I split the chapter in two.

That's very good to hear. There are so many Potions projects in stories, it tends to become cliche pretty quickly. I think I would think someone carrying a frog around all day would be pretty weird as well, actually :P

Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #23, by liza_potter Clever cousins and confidential conversations

22nd January 2011:
Hello hello!

I would hate to be Hugo right now, that's for sure. ;) Though I'm a bit confused as to why it took so long for him to make an appearance. But I can't wait to see what Rose and Lily have planned for him! You know I just noticed Rose and Lily both have flower names and are working together? Just a little random note for you. Hehe.

At least we now know Lorcan does have a backbone of sorts? And you're developing his character that way, too, so that's good! :) Al knowing about Rose's crush on Lorcan does add a little twist to it, hehe.

Congrats on hitting the 10k mark, btw. ^_^ Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hey! Again, sorry it took me a while to respond to your reviews.

Hm, so would I! Yeah, you're right; he could've made a much earlier appearance; I have no idea why he didn't. To be honest, he won't play a very big role in the story, I think.

Haha, that's quite a coincidence indeed! I knew there were some flower names in the series, but I hadn't realised that these partners-in-crime had such matching names :P

Lorcan has a backbone, yes. At least, where Rose and Lily (maybe it's in their names?) are concerned. And Al certainly likes that little twist...

Thanks! I was so glad that finally happened :) Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #24, by HermRon James' Jokes and Joyous Jitters

20th January 2011:
Nice Chapter, but its not my fav...Although I do LOVE the bit with Erin getting a pigs tail, funny as? Is Lorcan actually intrested in that slut...? Come on, him and Rose have got to get together! And Mark should go out with Natasha, she seems so nice :)
Love HermRon xx

Author's Response: Thanks :) Ah... honestly, I don't think it's my favourite either. But still, things can (and will) get worse... you'll see :P As for Lorcan and Erin, you'll see about that as well - same with the other couples ;)
Thank you for your review!


 Report Review

Review #25, by tripping over isolines James' Jokes and Joyous Jitters

18th January 2011:
UPDATE SOON! this is CAPTIVATING.

Author's Response: I'll do my best, I'm glad you like it so far!
Thanks for reading and reviewing!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>