(Prize Review #3)
Yay! Eloise gets to go to Hogwarts too. :D
This story has a lot of potential and I'm curious to find out where it leads to. I think your idea is really great and you have a talent with wording. Your style is quite smooth and I don't ever trip over the flow or dialogue. :D --Jenna
8/10Author's Response: I'm glad that you like the style, sometimes I wonder if the wording is a little strange, but you seem to think its working and that's a good thing. Thank you so much for the reviews! Report Review
(Prize Review #2)
Okay, your summary was really intriguing. It was mysterious, but at the same time, you know it can't happen, you know he snaps, so it was foreboding and a little saddening. But, that is meant as a compliment. It sets up a mood for the story before it even begins.
One suggestion? I noticed in the last story I read as well, you need a way to break the ANs from the story. Either bolded or a horizontal bar. It just makes the switch easier to take.
This is a nice start for a story. I mean that. I didn't expect the girl to be in the orphanage or for it to start so young. I like that though, it was different and I think you have a great idea here. Your writing style is great, but there are a few grammatical issues here and there. :D --Jenna
8/10Author's Response: I probably wrote the summary a million different times, so I'm glad that you mentioned it, and that it actually ended up working out. I'm really glad that you mentioned that.
Obviously Tom Riddle didn't just wake up one morning and think that he was going to hate muggleborns, and I thought it was important that it started young to show how he slowly changes. Although it'll probably jump as the story goes on!
And I'll take that advice on the AN, I started doing that on other things, but I need to go back and fix it on this! Report Review
Yay! I loved that she seemed to remember the kind of clothes Dumbledore wears but couldn't remember from whence she saw them.
I also liked the way the children were around Tom and around Dumbledore. Most people won't go anywhere near the cruelty of children, but the truth is, they can be kind of awful at times.
I'm excited to see where this story is going! And I really can't find anything to critique. Great job - 9/10Author's Response: Yes, the remembering is going to come into play a little later into the story, so it's good that you caught that. I agree about people not mentioning how cruel children are, they say 'kids are kids' but they can really be nasty. I'm glad that you liked when it's going, thanks for the review! Report Review
Well, I liked that. The sullen-ness of Tom on his birthday was priceless. I loved the precociousness of the little girl and the authentic quality of the name you gave her. I can't say that it's my favorite, but it certainly fits the time period nicely.
It was a fascinating idea, having a witch be at the orphanage with him. A good dynamic, that.
9/10Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked it, I was trying to make Tom already a little antisocial, without going too far, and I hope that I managed to balance that. And I'm not a big fan of the name either, I just thought it worked very well.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
I like this story so far. I dont usually read Tom Riddle stories, but this one seemed pretty interesting. Cant wait to read more! :)Author's Response: I'm glad that you gave it a shot even though its not something you usually read, as it not something I'd usually write! Thanks for the review. :) Report Review
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