Reading Reviews for Lying Josephine
  
227 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Onediedforlove Brave Face, Kid

8th February 2016:
Oh, my gosh. I love this story already. Please update!! Your writing style is fantastic. Good work so far.

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Review #2, by MeIsMoonie Promises, Promises

6th February 2016:
Gahh, this story is so so beautiful!

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Review #3, by Diogenissa Promises, Promises

22nd January 2016:
Hello-o-o-o-o LOVELY TANYA! HAPPY BELATED HOT SEAT DAY!

Firstly I must apologize for the absolutely unacceptable lateness of this--still have no 'net at home and the new years just been insane but settling down a bit. I must also admit the touch of irony given the title of this chapter and the fact that I said that I'd be reviewing it shortly after I did chapter one. Ugh I'm very sorry about that :-( .

The first thing I noticed is how seamlessly you write Fred and his overall character. It's not very hard to tell to see that that Dobby is more than well earned! You nailed his cheeky and funny manner yet seriousness when it comes to the depth of his relationship with George, especially with the twin dynamic: the closeness, loyalty, and love shines through. Something else I found refreshing was Fred's honesty--he cares so much for everyone in his life that means so much to him (including Jo), absolutely lovely!

“So I’ve been thinking…”

I waste no time in deciding that Fred Weasley thinking is never a good sign…
-- THIS--THIS had me laughing SO HARD! The truth of that is so real you have to love it--Jo's a smart girl! *lol*

Another point I enjoyed was Fred's 'blackmail'--going back to his honesty and love for those who matter most. As I was reading it, the prevalent thought in my head was 'It's for your own good.and George's' as I could almost see him perhaps thinking something along those lines.


Your descriptions and word choices were both very strong and colorful, easy to engage and picture throughout! :-)


Jo's introspection is also very strong and I could see quite a bit of personal growth already in her. Her struggles are so very real it's tangible and relatable!


Finally that very last line was a great way to close the chapter, as well as draw back to mind the chapter title.

Overall this was absolutely beautiful piece of work darlin' and you should be proud of yourself. It was both amusing yet serious and I like that I saw character growth. Congratulations and thank you for a great story (and again sorry that it took me so terribly long :-( ).


Karen xoxo

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Review #4, by cherry_pop94 Nice to Meet You

25th December 2015:
Hi again! Back for more of this wonderful story!

Fred IS hilarious. Oh my god. That job interview. I was howling. It was just too funny! His long speeches to Josephine, his pranks, the deal. I can't believe it. What I wouldn't give to be in that job interview. I'm obviously a cherry, if I were a fruit.

I really like the time jumps in this. It really gives the sense of who Josephine is and who Fred is and how their relationship was. He really was her best friend, her only friend. It's sweet.

Her love for George is a little weird. I have to agree with Fred. It's mighty strange how much she loves him and they've never spoken. He is barely aware of his existence!

Anyway, can't wait to read more, but it'll probably have to wait until later :(

Stefanie

PS. This chapter felt so short for 7000 words! I don't know how you do it!

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Review #5, by cherry_pop94 Promises, Promises

25th December 2015:
Hi again!

This is another great chapter. It's so emotional. Fred was a great friend to Josephine. She's unlike anyone else I've ever read about. I wonder why she doesn't speak? What happened to her family? She's in intriguing character.

It seems that George has noticed her. She did love him, but I wonder how as they've never spoken. But I understand that kind of admiring from afar love. It's definitely a very curious thing to read about.

Thanks for sharing your talent!

Stefanie

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Review #6, by cherry_pop94 Introduction: Boxes

25th December 2015:
Hello Tanya!

I just wanted to stop by with a little Christmas gift as a thank you for being such an awesome staffer. I've always known that you're incredible, but I've just read Rose's thread on the forums about all the incredible work you've done for us! So this is just a little token of my appreciation!

This story is amazing. I love Fred Weasley. I mean, who didn't sob uncontrollably when he was killed? I'm still sobbing and it's been eight years since the book came out.

Your summary seemed so interesting, I just could not turn away from this. And this prologue is great. There's so much emotion in Josephine's voice. She'd devastated at the funeral. I feel her pain.

I can't wait to read more! Thanks again for everything you do for us Tanya

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Review #7, by ohmymerlin Brave Face, Kid

14th December 2015:
Hello again!

OOH THE PLOT IS THICKENING! I was wondering how she'd become 'Lying Josephine', because I couldn't imagine George ever asking her but I love the way it's all panned out!

Again, George's emotions were just ugh... ♥ My heart literally broke when the letters weren't sent and George just broke down over it. I do feel so sorry for Josephine though as well because she'll just take it. She just accepts the abuse that's hurled at her, and George always apologises but she shouldn't have to go through that. It;s like she's just going through with it and won't stand up for herself because she likes him so much but COME ON JO, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

I don't blame George for lashing out, but he needs to release his anger in a healthy way that IS NOT ON JO.

(I kinda want to snuggle Jo in a cocoon of protectiveness and warmth WHERE NO ONE HURTS HER EVER)

The way you write emotions is so phenomenal. You're such a talented writer, and I always knew it, but actually reading your work makes it so much more obvious and it's like 'HOW DID I NEVER READ THIS BEFORE!?'

Also, I know this was a few chapters ago, but the snow globe incident was also so emotional and moving and GOSH DARN IT TANYA YOU'RE SO FANTASTIC AT MAKING ME WAN TTO SNUGGLE GEORGE AND JOSEPHINE AND THE WAY YOU WRITE THEIR HEART BREAK IS NOTHING I'VE TRULY EXPERIENCED AND YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO MANY THINGS.

So many.

And I don't know why I get this vibe, but a lot of your story feels like a song. It flows so nicely and they bounce off each other so well and everything matches so perfectly, but it truly feels like something musical.

Probably because you write music but there's nothing I've ever read that flows so well. It's hard to explain but hopefully you get the gist of what I'm trying to say?

This was such an amazing chapter, again. I'm so excited to see how George and Josephine's relationship develops, and how she interacts with the rest of the Weasleys (will they make her come out of her shell a bit?)

I'm also really looking forward to seeing how the story progresses! I don't want to pressure you and annoy you but I really can't wait to read the next chapter, hehe!

10/10 again ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #8, by ohmymerlin Eye of the Storm

14th December 2015:
TANYAAA

I meant to review for the Hot Seat but real life has been a bit of a pain lately! I know I haven't reviewed every single chapter but these last two chapters seemed to have less reviews and I thought that was an ABSOLUTE TRAVESTY so I decided to review them ♥

Okay, first of all, I LOVE THE WAY YOU HAVE WRITTEN THIS WHOLE NOVEL. JUST PHENOMENAL. I LOVE THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN FRED AND JOSEPHINE, AND THIS CHAPTER WAS SUCH A HUGE STEP WITH 'COMMUNICATION' BETWEEN GEORGE AND JOSEPHINE.

I put the communication in quotes because Josephine doesn't seem to talk much does she? Also, can I just say that I love how you've made her so quiet, yet so powerful? You've written her phenomenally and I feel like I can really relate to her. The way you write her quietness is so moving, I just adore it. I truly adore it. Just like I adore you ♥

And ugh, George's emotions about how he could have been the one who died were just so painful and raw. I feel so sorry for him, but you've written his frustration at being pitied so well. I can totally see him being frustrated that his family are being like that, and it's not like he hates his family, but I can see him being torn between not wanting any sympathy and wanting to keep talking about him.

But omg... the way you write Fred ♥ It's perfect. I also just love how you've written him not fussed about Josephine's quietness and he accepts it, not bothering too force her to talk. He makes her comfortable and I think that's just so sweet.

And the poo items hAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS THE BEST. I CAN SEE FRED AND GEORGE SITTING IN THIER OFFICES/ROOMS AND GIGGLING ABOUT SELLING LITERAL POO.

I loved this chapter so much and I love this story so much! I'm so excited to see a chapter seven soon (hopefully? ;))

10/10 ofc any other score would not be true to the story

- Kayla :)

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Review #9, by Felpata Lupin Promises, Promises

9th December 2015:
Oh, Tanya... *sobbing*
So many feels, so heartbreaking, so touching...
I don't even know what to say...

The first part was interesting. It surely showed a lot about Josephine's character, and I liked Fred's monologues opposed to her talking-with-her-eyes (At first I wondered if she was mute...) Fred was a great friend, if a bit perfidius... She needed a push...

The second part really broke my heart... The pain of losing your best friend... And the guilt, the feeling that you haven't lived up to their expectations, that you've disappointed them... And that point of envy you can't avoid to prove when you see the love of a family and you're prived of it. You wrote all this wonderfully. You really touched me so deeply with your beautiful writing.

This is such a great story, Tanya! I can see why everyone love it so much!

I'll try to be back again soon!

All my love,
Chiara

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Review #10, by SunshineDaisies Nice to Meet You

7th December 2015:
I'M SO BEHIND ON LIFE. (Reading this story AND the hot seat.)

Every time I read one of your stories I am left in total awe. Your writing is so effortlessly lovely and lyrical, and it's just so pretty! That is one of my favorite qualities in writing and it's so nice to find it in a fic with such an interesting plot as well! (I'm also insanely jealous because you make this writing seem so easy and I'm just like, banging my head on the keyboard)

I love the way you write Josephine. I am very much the same way she is, so I totally understand falling in love with someone who doesn't know you exist, and then simultaneously wanting to be near them and be as far away from them as possible. It brought back a lot of embarrassing memories, actually. I feel you, Jo. I also love that you've made her so unsure of herself, and maybe not great at magic, but with total business savvy. It's such an interesting idea to explore, because it's not like they teach business at Hogwarts. (HOW DO WIZARDS FUNCTION WITHOUT THESE CLASSES I DON'T UNDERSTAND)

This is such a lovely story and I'm so excited to see what happens! Whether or not Jo starts procreating. ;)

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Review #11, by CassiePotter Nice to Meet You

5th December 2015:
Hi Tanya! I'm back with another hot seat review for you!
This was another wonderful chapter! I think every new chapter I read becomes my favorite. I'm getting so invested in Josephine's character and there are so many things about her that I want to know! I'm definitely hooked on this story!
I loved reading Josephine's interview with Fred. Their personalities are so, so different that it makes for a really interesting dynamic between the two characters.
I felt so bad for Josephine when she sat in the chair and it farted! I wouldn't expect anything less from the Weasley twins, but I know that if I were in her position, I would be just as embarrassed! I'm also pretty shy (though not as shy as Josephine is), so if something like that happening to me I would blush like crazy and not know what to say!
I thought the fact that Josephine rehearsed what she was going to say in her interview was so relatable. I've definitely done that before!
I was not expecting George to come in! And poor Josephine's feelings were so obvious to Fred. I'm glad that he agreed not to tell George in the end, though. He can really see that Josephine does love him, and I think it says a lot about him that he's not going to interfere, but also that he won't lie to his brother if George asks about Josephine's feelings.
I know I said this before, but I have to say once again how incredible the dialogue in this story is. You do so much in the interactions between Fred and Josephine, even though she hardly speaks. It's really amazing that he can read her so clearly, and I love the way they communicate with each other, with him speaking so much and her so little.
I never really thought about the shop opening back up for the first time after the war, but I'm really not surprised that it was so crowded. It got so popular so quickly that I bet people were waiting for it to open again. But I bet Josephine had a hard day with so many people around.
I can't wait to continue on with this fantastic story! I also added it to my favorites!
Cassie :)

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Review #12, by Felpata Lupin Introduction: Boxes

5th December 2015:
Hello, Tanya!
I'm here for your Hot Seat, and because I've heard so much enthusiasm around this story that I was feeling horribly not stopping by sooner... Anyway, I'm here now! :)

Wow, this was such a brilliant incipit! Your writing is so smooth, so beautiful, and the emotions flow so easily and authentically. It's like poetry.

"We are taught and told that tears are for the weak, for those of us not strong enough to keep emotions at bay, but I believe it is that reason alone that makes crying such an act of courage." This sentence particularly touched me, simply because it is so true. I know that there are those moments I really wish to cry and I just don't find in myself the strength to do so... Does it make sense?

Anyway, I loved this. I loved the descriptions, and how well they work with the mood, with the grief. I loved the irony of the shining sun opposed to the darkness of the narrating voice's (Josephine, I guess?) thoughts and feelings. It's just brilliant.

Really, Tanya! Once again you leave me speechless with your incredible talent. I have no words to describe the perfection of this.

I'll be back! :)
Much love and hugs,
Chiara.

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Review #13, by Freda_and_Georgina Brave Face, Kid

4th December 2015:
All of your chapters have been so mind-boggling, but this one especially was insane. It is kind of sad Jo couldn't have told George she cared for him before Fred died, not necessarily in a romantic light but in a friendly light. I absolutely loved George's conversation with Jo about how she seems able to fake being strong so well. That was such a relatable conversation and it was probably my favorite part in this entire chapter, though it was all really good.

I'm really glad you continued this story; it's kind of hard not to now that it's won a Dobby.

Hope you got a lot of reviews on your hot seat day!
--Georgina

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Review #14, by CassiePotter Promises, Promises

4th December 2015:
Hi Tanya! I'm back to leave you another hot seat review!
Oh my gosh, this chapter was even better than the last one! We got to know Josephine a little more, which was lovely. She's a brilliant OC. She's really different from all the other characters I've read on this site, and I love her already. I think she's fascinating and I want to know more about her! You've hinted at something happening to her family, so I'm definitely curious about that. Am I right in saying that that's part of the reason she doesn't talk much? I thought making her so quiet was a really nice choice on your part, because while it may cause some people to overlook her, I think it makes other people pay even more attention to her, to try and figure out what she's thinking.
The way she and Fred interacted was so fantastic. He does all the talking, but in no way is it a one-sided conversation. Just because Josephine doesn't say much out loud doesn't mean that she's not responding to Fred and letting him know what's on her mind. They're really sweet together and I think it's great that he wants her to tell George how she feels. He knows that if she takes that chance it could lead to her being really happy, and will give her a little push towards that happiness if need be.
Fred's funeral was so sad. I was not ready for the pictures by his casket! I think it's so wonderful that there were pictures of him with his family there, so they can look at them and remember the good times they had with him.
My heart broke a little when Mrs. Weasley and George were crying together. I can't even imagine what they must be going through, and if I were in Josephine's position I think I'd feel the same way she does. Like I was intruding on a private moment.
Josephine's goodbye to Fred at the end of the chapter was so sad. But I think it's wonderful that she said she'd keep her promise to him. It shows the strength of their friendship, and how important he was to her. She's willing to step out of her comfort zone because it's what Fred wanted.
This was a fantastic second chapter! I can't wait to keep reading!
Cassie :)

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Review #15, by CassiePotter Introduction: Boxes

4th December 2015:
Hi Tanya! Happy hot seat!
This was such a sad opening chapter! But I'm also really intrigued! I want to know more about the main character and her relationship with Fred. And, of course, I want to know what she lied about and why she started lying in the first place. I'm assuming that it just started out as a little white lie, and then spiraled into bigger lies, but I'll just have to keep reading and see!
I haven't read tons of stories that take place right after the war ends- usually it's been a few years- so I'll be really interested to see how that impacts your characters. The whole Wizarding World is trying to cope with losing people they loved and also rebuild since Voldemort has been defeated.
This was a great introduction to your story, and I'll definitely be back to read more!
Cassie :)

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Review #16, by Julia Brave Face, Kid

30th November 2015:
Just a friendly reminder that I think this story is great! I check in every so often to see if you've updated, but I only review when a chapter comes up.
Idk why, but I feel like making sure you know that we all love and appreciate every chapter, and you're awesome.

Author's Response: You are just... so beyond lovely. Like... this makes me want to cry. My heart just swelled so much reading this. I was having a not so great day, and was really, really put-out and feeling unappreciated and looked over and invisible, and then this happened and... Wow.

Thank you. Honestly, just endless thank you's your way. It's like the universe knew I needed a pick me up, and you appeared with the most beautiful and perfect message imaginable. ♥

I'm going to do my very best to get the next chapter out this week, too. ^.^ Thank you for the love and appreciation. I could not mean that more. You're so wonderful. Just... thank you. *hugs*


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Review #17, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Brave Face, Kid

16th October 2015:
WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME I GOT HERE TO REVIEW THIS, ISN'T IT?! I hope you didn't think all the love you gave me a while back was going to go un-answered!!! :P *Squishes* I really hope you're feeling better, and I hope I can lift your spirits a little with my review! ♥

This was another perfectly-written, sweet and sad and lovely and heartbreaking chapter. I had almost forgotten that the Weasleys had gone into hiding, until you mentioned them switching to 'mail order only' in the first part of the chapter. And Poor Josephine, she was so upset when she saw what happened to George!

And Fred... just, Fred. He's so protective and caring with Josephine, always looking out for her and keeping her secret. It's so sweet.

It really broke my heart to see George snapping at Josephine like that, but I was so happy that he apologized, and that they were able to laugh and come up with this interesting plan together.

I'm so, so intrigued to see what's going to happen next - will this bring everyone some closure, or will it lead to more problems? Will it bring George and Josephine closer together? (I REALLY HOPE SO!)

As usual, you did an excellent job conveying ALL of the emotions here, and, I read your Author's Note - you have absolutely NOTHING to feel insecure about!

I really can't wait to see where you go next with this, lovely! And Congratulations on your Dobby win!! *Throws confetti*

WELL DONE! ♥

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Review #18, by Huff_n Puff Brave Face, Kid

21st September 2015:
Okay, so this is my very first review ever, so I don`t know if it`s helpful or not
First of all I want you to know that you`ve got me hooked with your story...
I love the idea, I can totally feel the sorrow of loosing the person closest too you and the pain of not being able to tell someone about it.

In my opinion it`s hard to create an OC without turning her (or him) at least a little bit Mary-Sueish, if you know what I`m trying to say, but I think that Josephine is a very well written character that doesn`t seem shallow at all...
I feel really bad for her, because no one actually sees her suffering or understands how heavily she is affected by Fred`s death, because no one knew that they were friends...
And George too. He not only lost his twin who he loved deeply but also had to realise that he may not knew everything about him as he had thought. I think it will be hard for him to deal with that...
You actually made me cry a few times...

Right now I`m thrilled to see the rest of the story unfolding :O
I hope my review made sense and you`ll be able to understand what I was trying to say, english is not my first language ^^

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Review #19, by Julia Brave Face, Kid

21st September 2015:
Oh I see
I'm just an idiot
This was updated late July.
Huh.

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Review #20, by Julia Brave Face, Kid

21st September 2015:
WAIT HOLD ON
HOLD THE /fudge/ ON
THIS HAS BEEN UPDATED FOREVER AGO?!!!?!??!?!
BUT IT SAID IT WAS UPDATED A FEW DAYS AGO
I AM SEEING REVIEWS FROM AUGUST
IT IS NOT AUGUST
HAS MY COMPUTER BEEN FAILING ME THIS WHOLE TIME
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS
IS CHAPTER 7 OUT AND I JUST CANT SEE IT?!
WHAT
I STILL LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS THOUGH.
HAVE NO DOUBTS.
WHAT

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Review #21, by Julia Brave Face, Kid

21st September 2015:
you
upDATED
YES
THANK YOU
YOU'RE WONDERFUL
I would check this SO OFTEN since the beginning, and I am SO GLAD I KEPT CHECKING
I love this chapter and this story and you
Please continue being great

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Review #22, by LittleMissAutumn Brave Face, Kid

19th September 2015:
I LOVE THIS STORY! It's so sad that it makes me cry but then I laugh, and then cry again...

Josephine is talking! She's actually talking to George! I'm so proud of her!!! At first I thought this was kind of going to be the Harry Potter version of While You Were Sleeping (1995 movie with Sandra Bullock), but this is so much better and I just adore it. Update soon please!

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Review #23, by TreacleTart Breakable Girls and Boys

18th September 2015:
Hey Tanya!

Back to check out chapter four!

Have I told you lately that I adore this story? If not, I ADORE THIS STORY!

At first, I was a little bit thrown by Josephine and her quiet, nervous behavior, but just as she's grown on Fred, she's also grown on me. I love how comfortable she is with Fred and how much she struggles with George. It's such an interesting idea and one that I've never seen anywhere else in fic. You've done such a lovely job of making the twins two unique, separate characters and that is possibly my favorite thing about this.

The idea of Fred making George this lovely intricate snow globe is so touching because unfortunately I know that Fred will die and that the snow globe will be something tangible for George to hold onto. It's funny that as he's showing it to Josephine I kept hoping that you were going to take a sudden turn into AU and keep Fred alive because I was dreading the moment that the snow globe became a thing of tragedy instead of a thing of beauty.

The scene with George in his utter desperation was really heartbreaking. You did a beautiful job of describing the utter desolation that he feels. All of his actions really illustrate how empty he is...and at the same time how much rage is in him as well.

I was really proud of Josephine for putting aside her inhibitions for a bit to help someone in need even though she was terrified. George is alone and there is a void in his life that seems insurmountable at the moment. All of the other employees seem to be tip toeing around him, unsure of exactly what to say or do. And I know in this type of situation there really isn't a right thing to say, but Jo did do the write thing by giving him some company. I think just the presence of another person when you're grieving can sometimes make you feel better and I really believe that Jo helped George a bit.

I hope that the voice on the snow globe isn't broken. While George is angry at it right now, I think that someday he'll be able to look at it fondly and be happy that he can still hear Fred tell jokes.

This story is really keeping me on my toes. A lot of the times I have the plot of a story figured out once I'm a few chapters in, but with this one, I really have no idea what's next. I'm curious to see if Jo will keep building up more courage in regards to George. She has a promise to keep and he needs some support to help himself heal. I see a lot of potential for them, but based on Jo's unusual behavior, I'm just not sure.

Really great job so far! I am thoroughly enjoying this read!

~Kaitlin

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Review #24, by TreacleTart Nice to Meet You

17th September 2015:
Hi Tanya!

Making my way through and I'm quite pleased so far!

Poor Josephine! That whole interview was absolutely mortifying. She seems like a painfully shy person as is, so to consider that she went through the whoopee cushion, hiding from George, dropping her papers all over the floor, and then panicking and trying to escape, it's really incredible that she stayed. I don't know that I could personally handle that much humiliation.

I thought you did a good job of characterizing Fred in this. He's friendly and kind for the most part, but occasionally his sense of humor can push the boundaries just a little bit. There were a few times when I could tell that he really made Josephine uncomfortable at a deep level. I think that perhaps as they become best friends he'll become more aware of it and she'll become less flustered by him.

I am a little baffled at Fred's willingness to hire a girl who is, in essence, stalking his brother. I mean I get that she's good for a laugh, but she's going to some pretty drastic lengths to be around George. That could get pretty creepy pretty quickly I would think.

The re-opening of the shop was pretty depressing. Just from the brief little bit about it, I can tell that there's just this huge void because Fred isn't there. I imagine it must've been tough for everyone because they're feeling sad and unsure. I can't imagine that George was of too much help either because he's probably feeling so upset that he can't lead the team properly.

I did want to point out that you're handling the balance between the different time frames quite well. You have a good balance going of funny, happy memories of Fred and then the sad memories from after Fred's death. It makes the story feel so much deeper and realistic. Life is filled with both laughter and tears and you're doing a successful job of giving us both.

In all of the technical aspects, this story is excellent so far. Your writing is clean and easy to follow. The pace moves along nicely without really stalling anywhere. The dynamic between all of the characters is believable.

Really great work so far!

~Kaitlin

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Review #25, by TreacleTart Promises, Promises

17th September 2015:
Hi Tanya,

Back for another chapter!

I was really excited to see that in this chapter we get to see some interaction between Fred and Josephine. I really like the contrast between the two of them. Immediately, it was clear that Josephine is really quiet and that Fred sort of forces her out of her shell a bit. That seems like something he'd do.

I also enjoyed the idea that Jo has this massive infatuation with George. All too often in fics, I see Fred and George written as the same person, so I was thrilled that you've made distinctions between them in their lives. Fred is friends with Jo. George is not. Jo has a crush on George, but not on Fred. It makes them two separate people.

I'm glad that Fred is giving Jo a push to tell George about her feelings. I personally believe that it's really unhealthy to sit and obsess about someone and much better to just clear the air. I think Fred realizes that Jo will never do it on her own and that odds are she'll regret it in the end.

The scene at Fred's funeral was tragic on so many levels. It was heart breaking to see Jo's reaction and her feelings of being alone. I think her flashes of jealousy about how much Mrs.Weasley loves her children really demonstrate just how bleak her life is and really make me sympathize with her all the more. Then there's George and the way that you can tell he's just barely pulled himself back together after falling apart. And Mrs. Weasley and her despair. I mean really it's just sadness all around.

I did like that Jo worked up the courage to talk to Fred. I think it felt very natural for her to be standing at the casket pouring her heart out to him. And I'm glad that she's decided to keep her promise. Now that Fred is gone, I feel like it's important for her to start working on breaking down some of the walls that she's created for herself.

Jo's response to George is unusual. She's so into hima and yet she's also terrified of him. I wonder why that is. If she can talk to Fred, surely she can talk to him as well.

Again, I scoured this for any bit of CC that I could leave you, but came up empty. Your first two chapters have been well written and very polished.

Great job! On to the next chapter right now!

~Kaitlin

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