Reading Reviews for Lying Josephine
  
113 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HeyMrsPotter Breakable Girls and Boys

24th April 2014:
Me again! I feel incredibly guilty for not reading this sooner after seeing your Author Note at the bottom :p You're very welcome by the way!

So, I am most definitely, positively, absolutely NOT furiously wiping tears away after reading this so that I can leave one of my usual incoherent reviews. Not even a little bit. This chapter (as with everything you write) was just beyond perfect. I think the talent fairy was far to generous when she sprinkled her dust on you. It's very rare that I get teary at fanfiction (okay, I admit it, this made me cry) but I just couldn't help it! Between George's grief and Josephine's grief and her continued unrequited love for him and him breaking the globe and basically every word in this whole chapter, how could I not cry like a baby?!

Their moment at the end was just...gah. Beyond words. The way you wrote it just created this amazing palpable tension between then, I was nervous and excited for her finally approaching him, my heart was racing as though it was me healing his hand and not Josephine.

As always, I cannot praise your writing enough, Tanya. Please stop reading this and go write the next chapter. NOW.

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Review #2, by HeyMrsPotter Nice to Meet You

24th April 2014:
Tanya! Apologies for my lateness in getting around to reading this chapter, I'm not going to lie, laziness is my only excuse :p

I just ADORE how you write Fred in this chapter. It's so refreshing to see him as a stand alone character as opposed to how we always saw him in the books with George all the time. Not that I didn't love that but they are two people after all. It's great that even though he's not with George through most of this chapter, he's still true to his character; funny and witty. I particularly LOVED this line:

Well, drape me in purple velvet and call me Dumbledore

Please tell me how you are so funny?

I also really like that this chapter tells us a lot more about Josephine's character beyond her stalkerish love for George :p She's obviously got a lot of common sense and a good business head, and I liked that you added in that she didn't get brilliant grades at Hogwarts, and that it didn't make her stupid or stop her from getting a good job (albeit one she only wanted because of George :P)

The whole job application and interview process was nothing short of genius and everything I would have expected from Fred and George, from the fact that they paid per word in their advertisement and that didn't stop them from rambling (much like this review!) to the farting furniture-priceless! Oh and the fact that she fell for it twice just made it even funnier. I could perfectly picture Fred doubled over with laughter :D

I'm off to read the next chapter now, I'm really looking forward to the friendship between Josephine and Fred developing, I think this is the start of something beautiful :D

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Review #3, by Rumbleroar goes roar Breakable Girls and Boys

10th April 2014:
*KIDNAPS!*
Ahem.
Ah! It makes sense that you took a break, as there was a definite improvement in your writing (not that it wasn't great before!) It just seemed a bit... Tighter? I think that's really good :)

I love the obvious contrast between past and present in this chapter. Easy-going Fred and poor breaking George :( I'm really impressed on how you've dealt with the sadness. It's not too over the top and it reads really well. I just want to look after George. Or get Josephine to do it for me :P

But I already love Josephine and I can't wait to read more about her previous relationship with Fred, her developing relationship with George and a bit more about her life.
Really loving this story! :)

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Review #4, by ruby_slippers Breakable Girls and Boys

7th April 2014:
Son of a gun! A kind of conversation! Words were exchanged, if only minimal and one way - it still counts! Woo! I love how quiet this story is and yet how enthralling and exciting at the same time (and heart breaking)! LOVE IT!
I miss George too ...

Author's Response: LOL! Yes! She did it!... Sort of. :-p Definitely still counts, though! hehehe So great to see you back for more, and I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter! Dawww, thank you! It's so wonderful to hear that - quiet, but exciting! *squee* Thank you so much for your continued support with this story! Chapter five will be up quicker than chapter four was, I promise! I sincerely appreciate the reviews and your infectious enthusiasm! *hugs*

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Review #5, by Rumbleroar goes roar Nice to Meet You

7th April 2014:
Oh, I just LOVE your Fred and George so much. You've got them spot on, but added a little bit of your own charm to their personalities. I really want to be friends with them, but I think I'd be a little overwhelmed like Josephine is. :P
They are such good contrasts. I think they'd both be really good for each other.
And the interview was perfect. Your writing was particularly lovely in this chapter. :)
Also, your review replies are so sweet! Can I kidnap you as a friend? :P

Author's Response: *squee* Ah, you are totally making my life right now! ^.^

Yay! I'm just ecstatic that you're enjoying my twins so much! They're two of my favorite characters and it's easy to do them wrong, so it's so incredible to hear when people think I've got a good grasp on them! And I totally agree: I'd love to be friends with them as well, but they might be a lot to take in all at once! hehehe And yay for opposites attract! Again, I'm really happy you're enjoying the Jo/Fred friendship! I gotta tell you, it's a blast to write them together. hehehe

LOL The interview is probably my favorite bit of writing I've done so far, in any of my stories; I'm glad you enjoyed it! And thank you for saying that! Chapters one and two were written over two years ago and I only started this fic again a few months ago and feel I've improved as a writer since then, so it's great to have someone point out the improvement! :-D

Dawww! Well, it's only because your reviews are so lovely! And YES! Kidnap away! I'm completely falling for you! *hugs* :-p


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Review #6, by Rumbleroar goes roar Promises, Promises

7th April 2014:
I already love the relationship dynamic between Fred and Josephine that you've set up. I really like where this story is going. Can't wait to see more of George. :)

Author's Response: Hi again Rumbleroar goes roar! Woot! I love hearing that! When I first started writing this story, I was nervous of how people would perceive Jo and Fred's relationship because they're such an odd pair, so it's always wonderful to hear that readers like them and get them! :-D And there's some George coming up soon, though I'm finding post-war George a little challenging, so I hope I pull it off alright for you! Either way, I'm so happy that you're enjoying the story so far and want to thank you again for leaving another wonderful and kind review! I sincerely appreciate it! ^.^

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Review #7, by Rumbleroar goes roar Introduction: Boxes

6th April 2014:
Very powerful first chapter. Excited to see where this goes. :)

Author's Response: Woohoo! I'm so happy you feel that way about the intro, as that's exactly what I was hoping to achieve! :-D Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this kind review and I hope the following chapters don't disappoint! *hugs*

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Review #8, by marauderfan Breakable Girls and Boys

3rd April 2014:
New chapter! :D

Once again my feelings went on a bit of a roller coaster here. The beginning section was a combination of sweet and ridiculous - the idea of Fred's gift was just so sincere and the jokes involved kind of cancelled out the sincerity ahaha but I loved the delicate balance between Fred's nervousness and cheeky arrogance while Josephine looks at the snowglobe.

oh and I loved the bit where Fred is secretly just 5 years old, poking Jo repeatedly and saying hey until she gives up, and her determination to keep silent until he gives up!

The second part was so sad, but I'm glad Jo listened to her internal Fred-voice, because I think that did help George. Honestly, I love that Jo knew Fred well enough to hear his voice advising her, because he would know exactly what to do when it comes to George.

Lovely chapter, Tanya!

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Review #9, by Unicorn_Charm Breakable Girls and Boys

2nd April 2014:
Yay! I was so excited when I checked my list and saw the story was updated! I immediately came to read it.

I don't know what else to say, again, but wow. This was a very powerful chapter. It's amazing how you can have me laughing one moment and almost in tears the next. Poor George... I feel this is an extremely accurate representation of how he would have reacted after losing Fred. (I still can't handle the loss of Fred. I threw my book the first time I read his death scene)

I love Jo so much. I truly do. She reminds me a lot of myself, to be honest.

You really are a phenomenal writer. I wish I had a quarter of your talent. I cannot wait to read more, you very much have me hooked!

Thank you again and again for the wonderful story!! 10/10 for all of it!

xoxo -Meg

Author's Response: Hello again, Meg! :-D

Yay! I'm so excited to see you back again! It's really so wonderful to have a regular reader always returning for more, and your continued comments and support just blow my mind! You are too good to me, I swear it! *hugs*

Thank you so much! "Powerful" - that's a great word to hear in response to this chapter - I was really hoping for this installment to have that sort of effect! Phew! And I know, I can't help it - this story is such an emotional roller-coaster, even within single chapters because of the set-up! And thank you, thank you, thank you for saying that you found George accurate! It's really tricky to take him on without Fred there and I definitely get progressively more worried about his portrayal as I dig deeper into his post-war character, but it's really reassuring to hear I'm doing well so far! ^.^ (And I know - I still barely process it and sort of ignore Fred's death anytime I'm not writing this fic... it's too sad! Wah! LOL You threw your book! That's a great reaction. I think I just stopped reading for a bit to yell, "NO, NO, NO!" a handful of times. :-p)

I love that you love Jo so much. She's a really important character to me and it really touches my heart when people love her as well - and especially when they see bits of themselves in her. Makes me want to hug you! *glomps*

Gah! Stahhp it, you're too kind! hehehe I sincerely appreciate the compliments and the support - it's honestly inspiring to me as a writer to have a fan so passionate about my story and my writing in general! I couldn't be more grateful to you - thank you so, so much for this and all of your other reviews! You're just wonderful!

Tanya ^.^


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Review #10, by UnluckyStar57 Breakable Girls and Boys

2nd April 2014:
Hello!!

Thank you for FINALLY updating this story!! Maybe next time the wait won't be so long, hmmm? ;)

But seriously, I had been looking forward to this chapter ever since I read and reviewed the last three (which was forever ago, wasn't it?!). So I'm super excited that it's out, and congratulations to you!

Unfortunately, I don't have time to write an essay on how wonderful this chapter is, but here's the Cliff Notes version:

This chapter is impeccable. I love the dynamic between Josephine and Fred-her reluctance and his buoyancy. The gift that Fred made for George is super amazing! They should sell those at WWW! However, it was sad that, two years later, George smashed that gift. Josephine was there to witness the gift's beginning and end. I love the juxtaposition between the two scenes! And the action moves along so nicely... How do you do it?! You're amazing!

Okay, sorry that was jumbly, but I just wanted to drop by and gush about how cool you are. :)

Write like the wind! :D

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #11, by CambAngst Promises, Promises

30th March 2014:
Hi, Tanya!

The first section sounds so much like Fred. He's always one to want to spread the joy, but do it in his own, distinctive way. I love the way that he uses his sense of humor to keep Josephine off her guard. She probably should have seen it coming, but it's hard when he's being so disarming. He lures her in with all of his faux flirting and endless kidding around. Then, he switches gears and gets serious on her for a moment. He lets some genuine concern show through, which pushes her even farther out of her carefully constructed comfort zone of denial. Then he goes for the kill...

We got to see a little more of Josephine in this chapter, and I found myself feeling optimistic for her and horribly sorry for her at different points in the chapter. What on earth happened to his poor girl? She's alluded a couple of times to having nobody aside from Fred. I'm guessing that means she's an orphan, or at least estranged from her family. With the war raging, it isn't hard to imagine how either situation would come to pass. Whatever happened, she seems to lack any sort of self-confidence. Fred is able to pry her out of her shell, but only by relentlessly being himself.

It's a shame, because she's obviously a clever person. I love her inner monologue. You did a fantastic job with that. I think she speaks a grand total of three words to Fred, but the section still felt really engaging because her thoughts were so amusing.

Fred Weasley is lying in a box. -- I can see why you kept coming back to this. It's such a powerful statement, with its devastating simplicity.

The pictures were just heart-breaking. Great choices.

Quicker than before I approach the casket, alone with Fred again. With one hand on the tomb I fix my eyes on the portrait of Fred.

I will keep my promise.
-- I really wish that she will. Although based on the story summary and all that I've read so far, I have the feeling that something is going to go terribly wrong in the trying.

Great chapter! I'll be back soon...

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Review #12, by CambAngst Introduction: Boxes

30th March 2014:
Tanya! How have I never seen this before? You have a story set in my favorite era (post-war) to read. You certainly have a compelling plot idea and a lead character who seems to be living the horror of Fred's death from the periphery. Again, HOW have I never seen this?

You set a very stark tone from the outset. Six months after the end of the war -- six months after Fred's death -- she's completely alone. It seems pretty obvious that she's done something terrible. Or at least she thinks it was terrible. But what?

The section that flashes back to the funeral was also beautifully done. This is my favorite type of first chapter to read. You don't bother introducing anyone or anything. All of that name, rank and serial number crap can come later. Instead, you pulled me right into the gut-wrenching emotions of the story. It didn't matter so much whose funeral she was attending or who she was, because I could relate to exactly what she was feeling. I've read a dozen or more different authors' versions of Fred's funeral over the years. I didn't need you to tell me who was there or how anyone was dressed or how devastated George looked or what anyone had to say. All of those emotions are inside. You just set the scene from the perspective of someone who feels like an unworthy outsider and that was the context I needed right there. Brilliant!

I'm really looking forward to reading more! Great job!

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Review #13, by Unicorn_Charm Nice to Meet You

28th March 2014:
Hiya! So I came across this story a few months ago, wanted to read it, didn't get around to it, forgot the name and then couldn't find it again. The other day I read something else of yours, loved it (because you're an amazing writer), and checked to see if you had other stories written. I was so excited when I found this again and immediately started to read it!

Wow. I don't know what else to say but, wow. I am so in love with this so far you have no idea. It's brilliant! I love, love, love the style of writing. The present, the past, back to the present. Josephine and Fred's friendship is so unlikely and so perfect at the same time. It's so fun to read!

I absolutely adored the scene during the interview when George arrives. I totally relate to her because I am that girl haha. I've been that shy, awkward, clumsy mess around a guy I liked, so I felt for her.

I cannot wait for the next chapter! I really do hope you plan on continuing with this. It's just absolutely amazing! Thank you for being such a wonderful writer!! :) I will read all of your stories forever more! 10/10 for everything so far!!

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Ah, wow! You are just far too good to me, do you know that? haha This is really so sweet, I hardly know how to respond! *squee* First off, I'm so glad to hear that you found my fic again, and just ecstatic that it was another story of mine that brought you back to it! And thank you so much for enjoying so many of my stories! Your support just blows me away! :-D

Wow to you! I don't know what to say! hehehe Ah, I'm so happy to hear that, thank you! And I'm so glad you enjoy the style - that's really reassuring and I deeply appreciate it! And I love that you love Jo and Fred's friendship! You've hit the nail on the head with them two: They're such an unlikely duo, but somehow they manage to make sense! ^.^

hehehe The interview has been my favorite scene to write so far, so it's just thrilling that the reception of that scene has been so positive! Thank you! And when George shows up... hehehe Poor Jo. She's just so fun to torture. :-p And trust me, I've been the awkward girl, too - I'm glad you can relate! It's always fun to read about characters you feel a special connection to!

Next chapter is going into the queue tonight (or tomorrow at the latest), so it won't be a long wait! I'm definitely going to see this story to the end, I promise! I hope to see you back in chapter four! Either way, thank you for being such a kind reviewer! Your support is so touching and I endlessly appreciate it! :-D

Tanya ^.^


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Review #14, by HeyMrsPotter Promises, Promises

24th March 2014:
Me again! (I'm hoping this is #100, if not, I like 101 too :P)

This was such a beautiful, beautiful chapter. I'm already hooked! Don't you know I'm already distracted enough from realy life without ANOTHER story to be obsessed with?! Ah well, too late now!

I feel so sad for everyone, for Josephine because she loves George and loved Fred and now she's lost both of them really, because wtithout Fred's threat will she ever tell George how she feels? I hope so! And poor George and all of the Weasleys. I'm in total denial that Fred ever died in the books and then I read fanfiction that reminds me and it just wants to make me cry (but that's a total testiment to your writing :P)

Fred forcing Josephine to tell George how she feels was just so perfectly Fred. There was just the right amount of humour and bigheadedness without it being overwhelming, and of wanting the best for the people he loved without him being sappy. I just love him so much in this!

Really excellent chapter, I'll be reading the next very soon :D

Dee :)

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Review #15, by HeyMrsPotter Introduction: Boxes

24th March 2014:
Hi Tanya! Here to help you reach your triple digits! (Any excuse to read your writing is a good one :P)

I think you've got a really interesting introduction to your story here, I'm immediately intrigued.

I like that you started with the end of the story (that made more sense in my head) I'm assuming that the rest of the story is whatever happened between May and December, and I'm really intrigued to find out what the story is between the two.

I thought you descibed the grief that whoever this mystery person is is feeling at Fred's funeral really well. The description was really great, how you manage this in less than 1000 words is just beyond me!

As always, I am thoroughly impressed with your work and I demand you share your talent with the rest of us!

Dee :)

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Review #16, by marauderfan Nice to Meet You

24th March 2014:
Um, I pretty much love the job posting. Every entence ends with an exclamation :p All you need is an abiliy to read and your favourite joke? Can I work there?

The interview is hilarious, I was laughing out loud as I read it! And the way every other question started with "Sooo..." haha. Seriously, why aren't real interviews like this? You write Fred so well, btw. This is exactly how I'd imagine him as the co-leader of a company!

OOH JOSEPHINE SUCH A BOSS. She not only knows all about finances, but she spoke at least six lines of text! Atta girl. Except then George walks in and she has to hide under the desk... oy vey. But seriously the rest of that scene I was laughing so hard, especially at the MOST awkward time, in that silence of "now what" SHE SITS ON THE CHAIR AGAIN AHAHA... I mean, poor girl, it must have been absolutely mortifying, but it's so funny! I hope that, given some time and space away from it, she sees how funny it is too :p

The favourite chest hair... Omg I can't even handle this. I'm dying of laughter.

And then that sad little closing section... well, I guess objectively it wasn't that sad, but it was quite sobering after the comedy of errors that was the interview. Reopening the shop... I can't imagine that went well.

By the way, despite the rollercoaster that is my feelings right now, I like the way this is narrated in segments hopping back and forth in time, it's a neat way to do it, as Josephine kind of reflects on her memories of earlier, better times. Can't wait until the next chapter!

Now you only need 2 more reviews till 100!! :D *confetti*

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Review #17, by marauderfan Promises, Promises

24th March 2014:
REVIEWING LIKE A NINJA

I love the first section, Josephine's "conversation" with Fred. If it can even be called that. It was more like Fred's conversation with Jo's inner voice and facial expressions. Btw, I love their friendship! It's great that she doesn't need to be super outgoing to be friends with him, because he understands her mode of speaking through facial expressions and few words - and he loves to talk anyway, this way he has more time to do so without being interrupted haha. It's a sweet friendship. I do wonder how they became friends in the first place! :p

I love that he resorted to blackmail to try to get Jo to tell George about her feelings for him. And when she said she'd get over him, and then her inner voice and Fred both said "that'll be the day"... hilarious. She's a great character - its cool to see someone who is actually very similar to the twins in terms of thought process and humour, but is the opposite in social aspects.

Ahhh the funeral again it's so sad :( And George and Mrs Weasley both crying :( I wish Jo had stayed there for George... it must be hard to be so shy! I'm curious what happened to her family as well. Great chapter!

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Review #18, by marauderfan Introduction: Boxes

24th March 2014:
All right, here's another step closer to 100 ;)

The beginning is intriguing - just enough to raise questions, but certainly doesn't give anything away. Just enough to convey the feeling of guilt. And then back in time a little... Fred's funeral. Gah I get sad just thinking about it. I think you portrayed Josephine's feelings wonderfully though, and captures the post-war mindset of how, yeah it's nice that Voldemort is gone, but so are people's friends and family and that really hits close to home. Poor girl :(

This is really beautifully writtten, ,a great start to your story!

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Review #19, by 1917farmgirl Nice to Meet You

24th March 2014:
Worst friend ever finally showing up to give you a review on this beauty!

And, you know, if you didn't make your chapters almost 8,000 words long, it wouldn't take you so long to edit them. That's like three normal people's chapters...just sayin'. LOL.

BUT, I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! I love it all! I want to wrap it up and take it home with me so I can see it always. (Or maybe I just want to wrap Fred up and take him home with me so I can see him always...I sometimes get those two things confused.)

The advertisement was CLASSIC Fred and George, and makes me laugh every time I read it.

And then there is the interview. Seriously, how do you THINK of this stuff? I wish I had the talent for long and amazing reviews like you give, and the ability to put into words exactly how much I LOVE that scene, but every time I try I just end up laughing, and the tears start to stream down my face, and I can't breathe and...yeah. This is seriously one of the FUNNIEST things I've ever read, and I read a lot of humor.

Not that I don't feel sorry for Jo. Fred was AWFUL to her, from the chair to the comments to him and George standing there when she disappeared, but it's just so funny! And then the moment he GETS it, and realizes what is going on.

Sorry, I just can't get over that chair! Seriously, brilliant invention, T! And Fred's questions to her! Can I sign up to be interviewed by your Fred?

Okay, I will attempt to be serious here.

One of the many things I love about you and how you write the twins, besides the fact that you just GET them, is that they are always, always, always two distinct people. You even bring in their subtle differences in appearance. See, this is why I love you.

I also love the way you write them talking to each other. Their banter is SO spot on I feel like I'm reading a chapter out of the books. Wish I could write them that way, but at least I get to read your version of them, so you need to write MORE of this FASTER!

And I'm still stuck on the whole hiding behind the desk scene. It's seriously one of my top 5 fanfic scenes ever. I just love it.

CHEST HAIR! I'm rolling again! You are too good.
I love your twins! I love your Fred!

And then, GAH! You just crush me with the second half of the story. Tear my heart out and leave it lying on the ground.

The hilariousness of the first part clashes so perfectly with the stark emptiness of the second part - it's amazing and heart breaking. The way you change your sentence structure, making them shorter, more too the point. It's amazing.

And now I'm crying. Darn you. *goes for tissues*

You truly have a gift and I'm glad you share it!

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Review #20, by Beeezie Promises, Promises

7th March 2014:
I really liked this chapter, too!

Again, I felt like you revealed just enough detail about Josephine and her relationship with Fred to intrigue me more without leaving me feeling completely flat-footed. I'd been wondering whether she'd had feelings for Fred, but now the situation makes perfect sense. In some ways, I actually feel like the extent of her grief makes more sense now, because the impression that I'm getting is that he was really her only friend, and now she's in a position where she's essentially alone in the world. I'm curious about what happened to her family and why she doesn't have any other friends, but I'm willing to wait to find out, and it doesn't seem unrealistic to me, just sad.

I'd also been a little confused about how she could not know George if she was so close to Fred, but now that makes sense, too... and I'm starting to think that she probably felt closer to Fred than he did with her. Not that he didn't like her, but she seems very lonely and cut off from the world - the surprise she seemed to feel that George remembered that she'd been there after she ran off made my heart ache, and felt depressingly real. I'm definitely getting a strong sense of who she is as a person, and I really feel for her; this is a terrible situation to find yourself in.

Based on the story summary, it seems like there's going to be a fair amount of deception in this story, and I felt like you sort of foreshadowed that a little with the way she was watching George and Mrs. Weasley at the end of the chapter from behind a tree. It was very well done, and has me eager to read on.

All of that said, I did think that this chapter had the same issue that the last one did. It just got a little too wordy or included too many adjectives at times where I felt like less would have been more.

I felt like you often used dialogue tags or short descriptors where they weren't necessary, which impacted the flow of the chapter. For example, in the first sentence, I don't think you needed to say that Fred was whining - the way you wrote out her name already implies that. Similarly, when you say that he "brushes aside" her silence, or "chuckles in low vibrations," or that she gives "a silent laugh," I feel like you're not really adding to the story or the narrative in a meaningful way.

There are just a lot of points where it feels like you're just trying to break up the dialogue or add more description, but based on your writing as a whole, I think you could probably do it in a much more graceful way. Think about whether your descriptions are really helping the reader form a picture in their head of the scene or contributing to their understanding of Josephine and/or Fred. If they aren't, you probably don't need them.

I also felt like you did a little too much telling rather than showing about her feelings toward George. I loved the Dementor analogy, and I wanted to see a little more of it. What is it that she loves about George that Fred doesn't have? Does she daydream about him? Does she wish that he'd died instead of Fred - or, alternatively, is she relieved that it was Fred over him? Does she feel guilty about that?

Maybe you go more into this later, but I would have liked to see a little more now.

Overall, though, this was a great chapter. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I'm excited to read on!

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Review #21, by Beeezie Introduction: Boxes

7th March 2014:
Hey! I'm so sorry for the delay in this - stuff in my life got really tough for a couple weeks in some unexpected ways. I hope I can make up for it.

There were a lot of things that I really liked about this chapter. I thought that you did a great job at providing enough information to ground the story in what we know from canon while still leaving a lot of intrigue and questions, and I thought that overall, you did a great job at conveying Josephine's emotional state. I could really feel her sadness and anguish, and especially in the first section, I could definitely picture the scene in my head. It was very poignant.

I don't want to critique this too much because it is just an introduction, but I do want to mention a couple little things I noticed.

As I said, overall, you did a great job at portraying her emotional state, but there were a few points where I feel like you were just using too many adjectives, and maybe less would have been more.

For example, in the second section, the paragraph starting, "I couldn't stop my anguished tears" - I feel like "anguished" actually takes more away from the description than it adds to it, because it's really not needed to convey how strongly Josephine feels. There were a few points throughout the chapter like this, where I just felt like you got a little wordy or used too many adjectives - not many, and they were very minor, but I thought I'd mention it.

Overall, though, excellent chapter. :) I really liked it, and I'm excited to read more!

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Review #22, by Sarah Nice to Meet You

3rd March 2014:
This is really well written. I am seriously enjoying Josephine's personality and how it is portrayed next to Fred's. I really hope you continue with this, it really is a good story so far. I'd like to see where it's headed. Hope to see an update soon!

Author's Response: Hey, thank you so much! I'm so happy you feel that way! It's always so great to hear that people like Jo both as an individual and in regards to her relationship with Fred! Woot! ^.^ And an update is right around the corner! Chapter four is completely written, it just needs to be edited, so it'll be up very soon! :-D Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a kind review! I truly appreciate it! :)

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Review #23, by Maelody Nice to Meet You

13th January 2014:
If I didn't leave a review would that show you how much I loved the chapter because of how utterly speechless it left me?

Well, I've already started typing now, but I gave myself a few minutes to gather my thoughts so I may as well continue.

I don't mean to get personal here, but I once followed my high school crush to the college we both went to because I loved being near him (so the stalker line got to me just like it got to Josephine haha). My best friend talked to me all about it, just as Fred did to Jo, and I will say, you have done an absolutely spot on job at describing feelings all around. Seriously! My tummy tingles for her!

That advertisement was one of the more believable ads I've ever read, and it read "Weasley Twins" all over it. The interview had me laughing, and Fred strangely reminded me of Dr. Who David Tennant style. Can he be my best friend, too? And, you know, not die?

I love how she wants something to do with the accounting. I had the same questions as Fred did, and in the last chapter when it was evident she worked at the joke shop, I couldn't help but wonder how someone as shy and quiet as her could get that sort of job with those two hiring. You made it make sense and played it out well.

I'm glad to see that you have more chapters planned (THANK YOU NANOWRIMO!) so I don't have to prod you too much with a stick. I'm so excited. I'm already growing so emotionally attached to the story, and I'm so ready to go on the ride with you and Jo, Joey, Jo, Jo, Jo!

Is it strange that I just keep saying I love it over and over again? Should I be critiquing you and stop showering you with compliments all the time? Like, be maybe somewhat useful to your already impeccable writing capabilities? If I am, I was really looking because I'm too enamored in the story and in love with it. Twin stories are my favorite :). Maybe I will calm down a little after reading your next chapter when it's posted so I can have coherent thoughts, yeah? Maybe I won't sound so much like a broken record.

Always great, still in love!

~Mae

Author's Response: Omg, I can't even. This review is just... Wow. You've about left me speechless as well! *hugs*

I, like you, shall take a moment to compose myself... and now I'll respond.

Hahaha! You're adorable. I'm glad it made you chuckle! hehehe Ah, I'm just thrilled that you both relate to it and found it to be so accurate! And right? Don't you just want to pet Jo? She's too cute; little lamb of a thing.

YES! Oh, I'm so happy the ad stuck out to you! It was actually something I was worried about when I first posted, because in it's original state I wasn't very happy with it, but this truly relieves my anxiety about it! And omg, LOVE the Doctor Who/David Tennant remark! That's so awesome to hear and I can totally see it now that you've pointed it out! As far as being your best friend, of course! But... the dying thing... er... I'm just gonna... pass...

hehehe I knew I'd have to have a reasonable explanation as to how she managed to grab the job, and I was certainly hoping that the combination of her business model for the finances and the whole George thing would be believable enough for people! It makes perfect sense to me, but you never know how others will feel! I'm so, so relieved to hear it worked for you, though! Yay!

haha Yes, thank you NaNo! I swear I'm really almost finished with chapter four! The end of January ended up being a lot busier than I anticipated, but I just got through the last hurdle, so I expect to have the next chapter up very, very soon! Though always feel free to prod me, cause I usually need it anyway. ;) Ah, I love hearing that you feel so attached! More soon, I promise, I promise! :-D

Eee! If it is strange, I don't care one bit because I LOVE hearing that! LOL You're too sweet! This review really just blows me away; it's so fantastically wonderful and please please please be a broken record; I love it! (Though definitely give critiques should you find something! :-p)

Oh Mae, you are simply the best. Eep! :-D


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Review #24, by Maelody Promises, Promises

12th January 2014:
Oh my goodness! This far exceeded my expectations! I knew it would be amazing, but it went to downright brilliant! I love Fred! Like, I don't think you understand my love for this fictional character. I am Josephine and Fred is my George (when I get really locked into my fantasy world ;)). He is my favorite character, and since I love a good cry, I love reading about him at all times. This has to be the absolute best tribute I've seen paid to his death, and we don't even see that much. We just see what Josephine sees, and hear what she hears. We feel what she feels.

I love how she talks to herself, and even thinks to herself in return. This is so beautiful, I can only prod you with a stick every time I read a chapter to make sure you continue this! I don't know how I'll go on if I don't see this story come to a beautiful end ;).

Honestly though, this was amazing. I almost cried (not quite, but almost). I feel like, except for the situation with her family, I already know her inner thoughts. She's somewhat relatable (I'm a bit of an introvert in the real world). She's inwardly small, and I like that about her. I like Josephine. I like this story. I love Fred. I can't wait until the next chapter! Love love love!

Author's Response: *squee* I LOVE HEARING THAT! :-D Ahh, I'm blushing like crazy here; you are FAR too wonderful! I'm so, so, SO excited to hear that you loved Fred, as I worked very hard to portray him accurately! And what's more, I ADORE how much you relate to Josephine! Thank you so much for saying it's the best tribute you've seen to Fred - that's mind-blowing and so amazing to hear! I must send you cookies or something! hehehe

Ah, you're so sweet and I'm just thrilled at how much you like Jo! She's a character I truly have grown attached to and it's always so nice to hear other people like her too! As far as continuing the story, naturally I've fallen a bit behind my original goal to have the next installment posted by last Sunday, but I swear chapter four really is on its way and that this story someday will reach its conclusion! I really hope you stick around for it cause you're so wonderful! Eep!

I know it sounds awful, but I LOVE when my readers are almost brought to tears. It's such a touching sentiment that you felt the emotions so strongly. *hugs* As an introvert myself (though not nearly as far gone as poor Jo) I can totally relate to both her and you as well. ^.^

Ah, this is such a beautiful review!!! You're amazing for leaving it and I swear I'm going to continue editing chapter four right now! *hugs*


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Review #25, by Maelody Introduction: Boxes

12th January 2014:
I'm intrigued (did I spell that right? I don't think I did, while all the same I think I did... I don't know).

It has a very poetic beginning and a sense of sweetness that you know is hidden in all her distress. It's awful to lose any friend, even if you weren't particularly close to them. But to lose your best friend and the only thing clinging onto your lonely life? That must be awful. I can't wait to read on! Lovely job!

Author's Response: hehehe You did! *applauds*

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! It's obviously just a short little intro chapter, but it's meant to be intriguing, so I'm glad you found it to be! It's great to hear that you also found it poetic, sweet, and emotional! I feel badly for all I'm putting Jo through here, but at least readers enjoy it, right? hehehe

Thank you so much for this lovely review, Maelody! *hugs*


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