this was extremely adorable and cute. i just loved your portrayals of Alice and Frank!! they both seemed so innocent and care-free that i especially feel sorry for their ultimate fates. this was very realistic, and i enjoyed it very much. great job! keep up the amazing writing!! (: Report Review
It was great! I loved Alice! She's just so...yeah, I don't know how to describe her but she was great. She was so confident and funny and I think I'd love to see more of her, maybe in a longer story? And Frank! He was just as great and I loved the fact that you could actually see them as people, not just one-sided. I swear that 'apple pie' comment had me laughing.
It's an interesting theory on why Alice always gives Neville those gum wrappers. I like it, thought, like I said :)
~LilyFire (Hufflepuff) Report Review
Your description is beautiful. Lively and vivid, it just jumps off the page. I really enjoyed your depiction of Alice and Frank's characters, and their 60s/70s-ish sounding speech patterns. I love when writers really make an effort to set their story in the era it's nominally set in. One of my pet peeves is too-modern Marauders. So I was very glad to see this had a very circa-1970 feel to it. I also love the Every Flavor Gum idea - it's a natural progression from the beans, isn't it? Amazing the candy marketers haven't thought of that yet ;) So, I thought the gum-swap was a bit gross but also teenage-romantic, so it worked. And I loved his saving the wrappers, so sweet.
Very cute and sweet story, I really liked it! Fantastic writing, perfect grammar. Well done ;)
WTM - Ravenclaw Report Review
ASsdjdhfgjkhsfjgh This is so sweet! I'm d'awwing all over the place at 3 AM. I love your particular take on both characters, as it's something I've never seen before and the subtle hint of sadness tucked into the story. It strikes a really excellent balance. I loved it :)
Nisha/faerieall (Ravenclaw) Report Review
I think this should come with a warning that you may cry. This is one of the sweetest, most light-hearted fics I've ever read. I think that's what makes it sad, because you know what their future holds and it's so depressing when you think of how lovely and carefree their relationship must've been.
This line especially made me tear up, knowing what I do about what lies ahead for them: "For an instant, he saw himself with graying, receding hair, telling the story of his young love, Alice, to his grandchildren. He promised himself he would remember every detail, recite the entire conversation from memory."
Just...it breaks my heart, you know? Because his mind is ravaged by the Cruciatus Curse and there is no remembering anymore.
I love how quirky you wrote Alice in this fic. She made me giggle and Frank's obliviousness was just a perfect addition. You write them so well together. This is just such a lovely piece. :)
forsakenphoenix (Ravenclaw) Report Review
This was an interesting take on Alice and Frank's relationship, and Alice's personality in particular.
I never really imagined Alice as a quirky and audacious girl, but I have to admit it's a possibility. There's pretty much to nothing canon about her and Frank, so everyone imagines them differently. I must say it was something new to read and I enjoyed it because of that.Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review. I know my stories aren't as easy to get into because people do flock to fanfiction to get more of the characters they love, and I tend to stick to exploring unknown characters. It's always a great joy to find a new reader! Thanks. Report Review
This was a really enjoyable one-shot! There are way too few stories centered around Alice's and Frank's realtionship. This was really charming and you really brought the characters to life, giving them unique and realistic personalities.
As another reviewer already mentioned, Alice always seems to be portraied as a quite, shy, dull, good girl in the background. I enjoy reading this quirky Alice much more!
I did find the dialogue a bit too complex and thought through that it sometimes felt slighly unrealistic, but all in all this was a terrific story!
P.S. I am quite sure that the correct spelling is 'Hogsmeade', not 'Hogsmead'. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!
After writing this story, I really am tempted to write more about them, or at least read some fics. I never gave them much thought until this plot bunny, but they did always intrigue me because of their sad story.
I'm really so thrilled you like their personalities! I enjoyed writing them, because minor characters like that are the perfect cross between a canon frame and OC meat. (Weird way of describing it, but it makes sense to me--those are the type I LOVE to write!) It always makes it more fun when others like them, too.
Hmm, the dialogue can be a bit contrived at times. It's certainly not as subtle as in my other fics, partially due to Alice's character. When it comes time to edit this, I'll look into it more.
You (and someone else, too, if I remember?) are right about the careless Hogsmeade misspelling. Silly me! Thanks for the reminder to change it.
Again, thank you for your time and thoughtful comments. You've been both flattering and helpful, the perfect combination!
Peace and Harmony,
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Truly charming :)
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this little one-shot, and I'm so glad that you were able to bring some real, tangible personality to Alice. Normally authors will simply brush her off as the nice girl in the background and stop there, but it's nice to see her with such a well-illustrated, quirky, vibrant demeanor.
Oh! and I LOVED the contrast between her and Frank. Who would have thought he was such a gentleman? Must be where Neville gets it :P
Anywho...keep writing! I'd love to read more romantic, charming, quaint little stories like this one!Author's Response: Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!
I'm so thrilled you liked my Alice! I must say, a slight bit of inspiration for her came from my favorite Alice of all time, Alice in Wonderland. Though they're not at all the same character, I decided that Alice probably had a nice, vivid imagination and a lot of spunk. It seemed to fit, as if that's the part of Neville that was hiding all along until the final battle.
My favorite types of couples are the kind who seem to complement each other rather than appear to be the same person. I think it just feels more real and it creates a cute dynamic. I love a good gentleman! (: Glad you did, too!
Aww, it's funny you mention that! Usually, my romances are much sadder or darker. This one sort of got me in a lighter mood, and I have a couple more I'm working on that are sort of similar...weirdly enough, one is Peter Pettigrew/OC...hahaha
Many thanks, again, for taking the time to read and review. It means so much to me!
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Yay! First review! I know that the Longbottoms are an official item in HP, but I don't ever think about their relationship with each other. And this is the beginning of it.
I like that she asked him out without asking him out. And I liked the nervous-ness that he's got going in the opening of it.
Just one, itsy-bitsy detail - I think Hogsmead is spelled with an extra 'e' on the end. But other than that, flawless and very sweet.
10/10Author's Response: Agreed! Yay! First review!
Alice and Frank always interested me because of the little scene we see of them in St. Mungo's. It always touches my heart, and they seem to have such a deep connection. I love to imagine them with a passionate and vivid life that makes up for the years they'll miss when they're older and oblivious.
For some reason, I pictured Alice as being more assertive than Frank, almost like Tonks in a way, though with a hint of Luna, perhaps because I like Neville's connection with Luna. Then, I saw Frank as more like Neville in his anxiety, though slightly more confident and not nearly as klutzy. Glad you liked those bits, because I think they most represent the characterization I chose for the pair. (:
You are so right! How silly of me. Thanks for pointing it out; for some reason, typos on character names and canon places are the highest form of HP blasphemy, and I'd feel like a poor fan if any more people read it that way. Hahaha
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review. I know I say it all the time, but it's only because I mean it and I want my readers to know that I mean it: I truly appreciate each and every review so much, and I'm so grateful to all of those who take their time to read and review.
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