I really like this story :) It has funny parts and it very interesting to see what these characters would be like if they were muggles...I also think it's extremely relate-able, being a high school student myself. Excited to read more :)Author's Response: Why thank you! As I'm sure you can see, I haven't gotten around to updating this story much lately, but I hopefully will get my muse back soon and will be able to do so. Thanks so much for leaving a review :) Report Review
i like this story it is good, i hope you update soon!!Author's Response: Thank you!! I'll update asap, but I've now burdened myself with like a million stories so we'll see when the next update will be...hopefully soon! Report Review
I know this is AU- but why set in America? I reckon it gives us the stereotypical stories. But great job :DAuthor's Response: I set it in America because that's where I'm from, and I definitely wouldn't have been able to write an AU story about life for regular English kids because I know nothing about it, hahaha. Thanks for reviewing :D I'm glad you're liking it. Report Review
Okay I absolutely love this and can't wait to read more. ^^Author's Response: Yay! Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked it :D Report Review
Hey it is me again. RandomRed.
Again I am not 100% in the know about American High Schools private or public, the different parts of New York and such being Scottish in all but from what I have seen on Gossip Girl (which I know proabably isn't that accurate) you have done it well.
Your charaterisation was again great youhave managed to keep them in charater which has me in awe seeing as you have changed so much.
You also have some great humour twined through it which I like.
If you want me to review the next chapter when it is up just stop in at my thread :)
xxxAuthor's Response: Hahahaha yeah Gossip Girl is pretty false, but at the same time I do have to spice things up in the story because otherwise things might be a little boring ;) Again, I'm really happy to hear that you're liking the characterization.
I'll definitely stop by your thread when the next chapter's up! Thanks again so much for reviewing!! Report Review
Hey it is RandomRed from the forums. I will start by saying I do love this chapter title :).
I also love the fact there is no Harry/Ginny not my favorite ship in the world :). So you good in my book.
I love Dumbledore he i so funny in every situation.
This story is so unique which I like, I do like unique stories. So again good in my book.
I don't go toan American High School so i don't know if you have the experience right but I'm guessing so.
I don't take APUSH but I am doing Advanced Higher History: The American Civil War so I have an idea because that is kind of the same level I think, from what I have heard anyway. I do love that class.
Your characterisations are great considering you've changed so much and your story really flows. :)
I don't see any huge grammar problems either to be honest your a great writer :)
xxxAuthor's Response: Hey! Sorry it took so long to get back to you, I was away without internet for the weekend. Hahaha I'm glad you don't mind the lack of Harry/Ginny, I was afraid some people might be bummed about it!
I was trying to imagine Dumbledore without magic, and all I got in my head was like...basically a crazy person. So that's how I characterized him. I'm glad you liked it! I'm also glad that you think the premise is unique, and not a waste of time or like a desperate attempt at being creative, or something. If I'm making an sense at all.
Thanks so much for reviewing!! I'm really glad you think the characterization is done well, that's what I'm most nervous about. Even in an AU setting, I want the characters to be consistent! :) Thanks again for stopping by! Report Review
Hmm, can't say I enjoyed this chapter as much as the first. There were definitely from good parts, like when Harry found Cho and Cedric making out, or the boys playing banana pong, and the repetitive line of "the boy who wasn't her boyfriend" but I just wasn't really interested in the plot of this chapter.
The writing was still really nice, though I'd say that sometimes the dialogue is a bit confusing trying to figure out who's speaking when you have more than 2 people in a convo and don't use tags.
Other than that, I still kinda like it. Or rather, I like the concept of the story. So mayhaps I'll check back when the next chapter is posted. :D
DemAuthor's Response: I definitely agree. This chapter is much weaker >< I guess I just wanted to see if I could write a believable/funny party-esque scene but...I don't know if I did. Oh well. And I agree about the dialogue--I'm going to have to go back and change some things up, definitely.
Please do check back if you get a chance! I promise this story is going somewhere and it's not just AU for AU's sake. Things WILL happen and there WILL be a real plot! I promise!
Thanks so so so much for the reviews :) Report Review
Hello! DemetersChild here with your review!
I think this story is absolutely wonderful. First off, all those people (aside from Harry's parents, it seems) that died in the books are alive. So that's pretty awesome. Especially Sirius. :DDD
Second, I always wondered what it would be like if these characters were part of a story that didn't involve magic. I think this is really interesting and I really look forward to what you're going to do with it. I'm wondering if magic may show up in the story after all?
Even if it doesn't, this looks like it's going to be a wonderful story.
Your writing is really smooth and eloquent. Your grammar is pretty much flawless, or at least well enough to not be distracting. And your characterization of everyone is spot on.
I especially enjoyed that this was broken into so many sections, each starting with a new character and them getting ready for school.
On to the next chapter!
-Dem-Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reviewing! Wow, absolutely wonderful?! Very strong (and very kind!) words :) And yes, many people are alive...for now ;) Heehee. Well, I can't make any promises is all I'm going to say. Also this story technically corresponds with book 5 (since it's their sophomore year), just to let you know.
I don't know if magic will show up, but there will definitely be book-related drama. Things will happen based off of a lot of what happened in the books, meaning, enemies are still the same, and I'm going to include the adults, too.
Thank you SO MUCH for such a kind review. You touched on all the stuff I was worried about and it's really, really incredible to hear that you think I'm translating everything well and believably into this new world. Thank you so much!!! Report Review
I gotta say, I wasn't expecting this to be any good. I was idly looking for a story with Harry and Sirius and came across this. I've seen HP-characters-in-Muggle-America stories before, and they've been quite awful, but this isn't at all. I actually like it quite a lot. (The fact that I'm also a native New Yorker and am an alum of an NYC high school--though it was public, not private--makes it all the more fun!) I like where you're going with this, and I hope you continue!
I'm wondering how well you know NYC. You seem to know your trains, in any case, but I'm just nitpicky about addresses and place names and things like that. If you know NYC very well, I apologize profusely, but things like saying that Harry lives near the Chambers Street subway stop means that he's got to have at least as much money as Cedric does to live in the West Village, or Draco on the Upper East Side. Just, you know. Stuff like that. (I've also never heard anyone just call it the Metropolitan Museum, thought that could just be me. I've only heard it as the Metropolitan Museum of Art, or just "the Met." Also, 13th St and what? What's the cross street? Etc...) I'm just nitpicking though, so feel free to disregard.
Great job. I'll be keeping an eye on this!Author's Response: Yay! I know, I'm worried people are just reading the summary and turning away...it's such an overdone theme, but I really want this story to be about actual HP-like things (there'll be Sirius/Lucius/Bellatrix/Remus/etc. drama in later chapters, if I do continue) not just like, oh, haha, they're Muggles. I hope I get my muse back eventually and can continue. Right now I have like 10 other stories brewing in my mind--ugh!
I myself am a native New Yorker, as well, and I'm basing this basically off my high school experience. Sirius and Harry basically live in a miniscule Tribeca apartment. If they bought it now, it would be like $5M...but in my mind Sirius has had it forever. I also had plenty of not filthy-rich friends who lived in Tribeca. I don't know the exact cross street of Cedric's house...maybe 6th? 7th? Whatever you want :P
Feel free to nitpick. It's nice to see a native New Yorker reading this! I hope you do continue to read it! Report Review
Lol, I have to admit as a normal American high school kid (incoming senior, at that), I know nothing about drinking. But the banana pong thing made me laugh.
As did: "...but wouldn’t you rather her first experiences with drugs and alcohol be when you’re around?" Hilarious. The boys' argument about calling the girls was great, very believable. Although them being such party/drinking animals as sophomores is a little bit of a stretch.
Overall, I liked this one again. I do hope you update soon too.
9/10 :)Author's Response: Well I definitely based this story off my own experience (I've unfortunately experienced banana pong...euugh). I was actually worried that people would find this unrealistic because they weren't doing any drinking until sophomore year! I guess everyone just had different experiences! Haha.
Thanks so much for reviewing again! Especially for leaving a favorite quote! I always want people to do that but they never do, and you did it twice in a row. Go you :P Report Review
Lmao about the weird baby dinosaur kid.
This is pretty spot-on high school kids. The whole Dumbledore dancing was a little odd, but still funny.
::gags about Harry/Cho:: though it seems there's a prospect for some Harry/Ginny stuff ;)
The characters are still very similar to the real series, kudos for that.
And Umbridge being an APUSH teacher made me laugh so hard. The whole "this is the hardest class you'll take" BS...I heard that so many times in the past couple of years. Funny thing is that APUSH was my favorite lol.
I like it a lot so far. I hope to read more about this. Loving the concept, quite original.
9/10Author's Response: Heehee, he'll be back! I was hoping to make it realistic in terms of American teenage lifestyles, so I'm glad to hear you call it spot-on! And I had to make some kooky stuff happen, to spice it up. I mean if Dumbledore weren't a wizard...he'd probably just be a weirdo. Right? Oh well, in this story he is, haha.
I made it Harry/Cho just because it's corresponding with their fifth year, so that's why there's Ginny/Dean stuff, too. Don't worry, if this story really does continue on for the whole school year, there'll be a lot more happening :P
I loved AP US too! And yeah, it was by far the easiest AP I took. By far. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a review!! Report Review
Great chappie :)
I love Ron, he's just so silly sometimes. And Hermione! You've written all the characters really well.
Especially loved this bit: " I'll call Hermione, but I'm sure she'll be all- 'I have homework to do" and 'I need to eat dinner with my parents and then watch the latest episode of House...'" He said in a high-pitched voice, flipping imaginary hair over his shoulder. It made me laugh so hard!
I hope you keep writing, as this is really good :)Author's Response: Hahahaha, thank you! I was worried about their characterization in such an incredibly AU setting--glad to see people responding positively! Thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you're liking it! Urghh I hope to continue it but I've just started like 20 stories because I'm insane, so I can't make any guarantees on how soon I'll pop out another chapter. Hopefully my muse for this will return shortly, though :) Report Review
I actually really enjoyed this - which surprised me, because it is not my usual type of story at all. But it is good. The writing flows very smoothly, the dialogue feels natural, and the characterizations are all well done - especially in such a foreign setting. I'm hoping very much for some further chapters. I also liked how you have sort of blended elements in from all the books in this - Grubbly-Plank, Lockhart and Umbridge all teaching at the same time. It will be interesting to see what elements you choose to keep from the books themselves.
As for length - honestly, I didn't notice it being overly long at all. The different sections serve to break the chapter up nicely, and I actually had to go back to the summary and check the word count to figure out what you were on about in regards to being scared off by it!Author's Response: Wow, thank you. What a kind review. I got so nervous with the length, it's great to hear that you thought it went smoothly :) I'm also so glad to hear you say that you're liking the characterization! I was a bit worried that Harry was way too dull and Pansy was too...just...like...incredibly annoying. So it's great to hear that you're not feeling that way!
Yeah, I figured at a regular school in the real world, there would need to probably be many more teachers (and students) so I had to add in teachers from all the books. And I'm definitely going to keep some actual plot elements from the novels, but you'll have to just wait and see what I choose, I guess ;)
Thanks so much for reviewing--and leaving a detailed one at that! I hope to see you back for the next chapter! Report Review
First I thought, wow this chapter is to long I can't bring myself to read that! But than I saw your please note down the story and I thought: She is right just read! And I'm so glad I did because I love it! I hope you will be writing more chapters! Don't let the lack of reviews scare you away! I just post my first story on this site so I'm not quite sure how it works here but I notice on other fanfics I have, the more chapters you place the more it gets read! So please keep posting and your banner is goregous!
Love xChoAuthor's Response: Gahh I know! I fear the crazy length is scaring people away >< Thanks so much for giving it a chance though! Haha. I'll definitely have at least one more chapter up of this story soon, but I can't make any guarantees about how much I'll be able to update this :/ I just sort of posted it because I had it on my computer and I figured why not, hahaha. Good luck with your story! This site is a bit daunting, I must say, but it's also really fun too! Thanks so much for reviewing!! Report Review
I love this. First off, the novelty of the summary alone (I mean really, HP kids in New York? That's comedic gold right there) was enough to get me to read an AU story. And I rarely read AU stories. Seriously. I think the last time I read one, it was the second ice age. Humans were still making their food over open fire.
Anyway, back to me inflating your ego. This story is amazing. The idea is completely original, your characters are fabulous, the writing supreme... Basically, just look up the word 'fantastic' in a thesaurus and that's your story right there.
Update soon! I'm really excited to see what you have in store for this. 10/10Author's Response: Wow! Thank you. What a fantastic review! Definitely one of the best I've ever gotten. I must admit I wish others felt the same as you, at least in terms of just leaving a review...any at all...seeing as that you're the only one who reviewed :/ But thanks a bunch for taking the time to do so. I have another chapter already written of this story so I'll probably upload it some time soon, but I must admit that if I don't get much more feedback for this story than this...I might not be so inclined to continue any more than that. Bleh.
But 10/10?! Yikes, you must be crazy! But thank you so much! And thanks for the fabulous review :) Fantastic in the dictionary? Me? You must be nutso, but I really do appreciate the kind words. They're why we post on this site, no? Report Review
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